Impact of single-parent with children on future relationship

[UDP]

development. Full Title:

The effect of being a single parent with children on intertype relationships - as per erotic roles.


What I am getting at is.....
Let's say a female INFj is has children with someone and either the father dies or leaves or whatever. Being an infantile, and being hardwired for a caregiver, it seems much more socially likely for a caregiver type to come and take sympathy on her situation and want to help out with things - give care.

Now, let's say it is an ISTp female in the same situation
She already is a caregiver, and her dual, the ENFp, is looking for someone to give care. Laden with the responsibilities of a child or children already, how likely is the ISTp to really be able to "give care" to an ENFp, or anyone else? There is an issue of priority. And how likely is it for an ISTp to accept the care of someone else? Not likely.


I hope that alludes somewhat do what I am getting at. When a single parent has to care for children, it might distort their ability to relate to types, and perhaps even how they go about their erotic roles.


For an ISFj in that situation, she may receive interest from people, even ENTj, but with her loyalty and priority to her children, would she be able to be the "true aggressor" the ENTj needs in terms of developing a relationship? Would her focus on her kids take away that ability to show the proper initiative?


This is not really conclusive of course, just considering things.

[Joy]

Doesn't the term "single parent" imply that the person has a child/children?

(I'll post something more serious when I get back home.)

[Joy]

Now, let's say it is an ISTp female in the same situation
She already is a caregiver, and her dual, the ENFp, is looking for someone to give care. Laden with the responsibilities of a child or children already, how likely is the ISTp to really be able to "give care" to an ENFp, or anyone else? There is an issue of priority. And how likely is it for an ISTp to accept the care of someone else? Not likely.

Why would that be unlikely? And it's not like Si types TOTALLY take care of Ne types... partners of all types ideally take care of each other, only in different ways. An IEE would make the SLI feel like they're all family, something invaluable and irreplaceable. The IEE would do other things for the SLI, too, and that would be... whatever it is Ne types do for Si types.

For an ISFj in that situation, she may receive interest from people, even ENTj, but with her loyalty and priority to her children, would she be able to be the "true aggressor" the ENTj needs in terms of developing a relationship? Would her focus on her kids take away that ability to show the proper initiative?

The ESI would (ideally) not enter into a relationship that would be damaging to her family, but that doesn't mean she has to be single. A LIE that she's compatible with would be a welcomed addition to her family, and in order have a healthy family, her relationship must be healthy. In order for there to be a healthy relationship between an ESI and a LIE, the ESI needs to use Se.

I hope that alludes somewhat do what I am getting at. When a single parent has to care for children, it might distort their ability to relate to types, and perhaps even how they go about their erotic roles.

To some extent, yes.

[Blaze]

single parent here. i'm infantile, supposedly. marriage was to an aggressor. current relationship with a victim. if we believe in the erotic attitudes, that is.

i have two girls. one is 10 and is an ESE. the other, age 5, is leading Ne, not sure if she's going to be an IEE or an ILE yet. my older child definitely is caregiving (and bossy!) towards her younger sister. so basically i get some help from my older child with my younger child. i have to constantly tell my older one that certain activities are not her responsibility and to make sure she can be a kid. but my two kids are very bonded together since they go from my home to their father's home and are the only constant in one another's lives. their dad's girlfriend is a victim erotic style also i think.

infp man brings levity to my household; a lot of Fe. he's very relaxed and easily connects with my kids. he helps me to put things into perspective and figure out simple things to do to solve problems. i can do Si pretty easily. but i'll say that women are socialized to provide Si whether it is in their ego block or not. but since it's my dual seeking, i can do an acceptable job with this.

i looked for an SEI last year when i started dating but found and fell for an IEI. so far it's going very well. we communicate really well and deal with problems directly and as they come up. after my divorce, i decided that i am going to be an independent person. that i was not going to look for somebody to take care of me or to depend on. that i wasn't going to look for somebody based on how much money they made or what they did for a living. what i wanted was an equal, stimulating, psychologically compatible relationship. my plan is to provide for myself and what i need from a partner is for them to take responsibility for themselves, because i'm not going to carry anybody. i will help and support and provide meaningful assistance but i don't have the resources to carry another person.

i guess what i am saying is that the world of divorced people is vastly different from the one of married people. i'd venture to say that the world of never married single people (especially older single people) also has its own traits and characteristics which set it apart from the world of the married and divorced. all bets are off in the world of the divorced. the financial impact of divorce on men is huge, as is the depression factor. the suicide rate of divorced and widowed men is high. and the impact on women and children is well documented.

so there are a lot of factors to consider. one which is socionics related is the availability of certain types at certain ages. i don't think there are many 40ish single male isfp's left to be honest. isfp's are like the easiest people to get along with and are likely to still be married. the other factors to consider are personal...even though theoretically i'm infantile and Si dual seeking, i was raised to be independent and self reliant. i am not sure of how much i really need somebody else to give me doses of Si.

socionics is just one of many many factors to consider when thinking about single moms.