edit
INFps and romance
edit
“Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage.”
― Anais Nin
Kiss him and see what happens. Go for it!
Entp
ILE
Originally Posted by Blaze
No! For the love of God please don't! It sounds like the last thing this guy needs is to feel like he has an obligation to reciprocate - and a kiss for an INFp is an obligation.
Definately check out this thread, though: http://the16types.info/forums/viewto...&highlight=guy
If he has outright told you he doesn't want a relationship, I think it would be better to take him for his word. You'll just be putting him through a lot of turmoil if it really was the case and he felt obligated to enter one with you. He would be unable to break away if he ever wanted to.
No kidding...No! For the love of God please don't! It sounds like the last thing this guy needs is to feel like he has an obligation to reciprocate
If u ever feel the urge to completely lock him in... kiss him.
Guess that was one of the more radical entp "solutions"!
Entp
ILE
But ladies, check this out:
so...
edit
“Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage.”
― Anais Nin
ahahahhahahahaha
you're sure he's not messing with you? seeing what your reaction is or something like that?
Gahhhh, this is one reason why being "available" sucks. Too much stress.
Joy, what I meant was that in that context of that situation, becuase he probly was already speculating her interest in him, and they were already on the verge of forming some kind of relationship, that if she were to kiss him it would confirm his speculation that there was romantic interest there and he would feel inclined to act on it.If u ever feel the urge to completely lock him in... kiss him.
It's cool on the other hand to be very direct with a guy and say you are interested, and playfully kissing does no harm... then again thats kinda flirting anyways.
Sorry if I seemed contradictiory or wasnt specific enough.
I agree with Harry. Basically, what an INFp guy wants a woman to say is:
"Look, I'm really into you and really would be willing to pursue a relationship - but only if you want to yourself. If you don't, that's still totally cool."
Now... I've never had a girl be that direct with me, so I'm not exactly sure how I would react to it. But, I know that's what I have found myself really wishing for when I've been tossed into mind-games sometimes.
If you do go the direct route, Kim, be prepared for a vague/half-assed answer... heh... we INFps are so confusing sometimes we don't even understand each other. If he says "Yes" but really means "No" he wants you to ease off. If he says "No" but he really means "Yes" then he need a buffer period of time to think about it first and then (perhaps a few weeks/months later) it's time to be direct again. If he says "No" and really means "No" then it's better to let it go. If he says "Yes" but really means "Yes" then it's best to keep your cool and go about it so that you don't make him feel obligated. Are you confused yet?
lol, perfect.we INFps are so confusing sometimes we don't even understand each other. If he says "Yes" but really means "No" he wants you to ease off. If he says "No" but he really means "Yes" then he need a buffer period of time to think about it first and then (perhaps a few weeks/months later) it's time to be direct again. If he says "No" and really means "No" then it's better to let it go. If he says "Yes" but really means "Yes" then it's best to keep your cool and go about it so that you don't make him feel obligated. Are you confused yet?
Baby, we always seem to feel the same on these type of things.
I know! lol, God bless Socionics! I wish I'd known about it all those years in high school when I felt like a loser for being the only guy who could never get up the nerve to start dating.
ahahahahahha she was confused when she started this topic!
sooooooooo pretty much what you guys are saying is that being direct:
1) May be welcomed
2) May not be, but you won't say so
3) May not even get a response
4) May get a response but that response may be a misrepresentation
5) May get an accurate response but it could easily change
6) May be the only way anything will ever happen
goodness graciousness I thought I was difficult
Don't worry gentlemen, it still seems that INFps are everyone's favorite. :wink:
Exactly! I think your onto something... :wink:sooooooooo pretty much what you guys are saying is that being direct:
1) May be welcomed
2) May not be, but you won't say so
3) May not even get a response
4) May get a response but that response may be a misrepresentation
5) May get an accurate response but it could easily change
6) May be the only way anything will ever happen
The key to understanding the INFP is understanding that there is no key to understanding the INFP.
When it comes to the internet anyways.Don't worry gentlemen, it still seems that INFps are everyone's favorite.
Hey Kim,
before you go kissing and asking whatever, I think it might be a good idea to know how you want it to turn out. Otherwise you'll be all in the Kool-Aid and not know the flavor. Play it by ear. Spend some more time and find out how you feel. You know how us IEEs do :wink: Be subtle and let him talk and draw him out. Then if you have the reslove..STRIKE LIKE A COBRA(Do IEI really like it rough, even the guys?)
OR you could share with him this poem (one of my favorites) by ee cummings
somewhere i have never traveled,gladly beyond
any experience,your eyes have their silence:
in your most frail gesture are things which enclose me,
or which i cannot touch because they are too near
your slightest look easily will unclose me
though i have closed myself as fingers,
you open always petal by petal myself as Spring opens
(touching skillfully,mysteriously)her first rose
or if your wish be to close me,i and
my life will shut very beautifully,suddenly,
as when the heart of this flower imagines
the snow carefully everywhere descending;
nothing which we are to perceive in this world equals
the power of your intense fragility:whose texture
compels me with this colour of its countries,
rendering death and forever with each breathing
(i do not know what it is about you that closes
and opens;only something in me understands
the voice of your eyes is deeper than all roses)
nobody,not even the rain,has such small hands
Topaz
The artifact which is the source of my power will not be kept on the Mountain of Despair beyond the River of Fire guarded by the Dragons of Eternity. It will be in my safe-deposit box. The same applies to the object which is my one weakness.
Topaz brings up a good point. Don't do anything until you're sure you know what you want.
Kim, you're a sweet girl. As much as it pains me to say it, you deserve better than to have to put up with us brooding INFps. That's why we're paired up with ESTps <- they don't take us so seriously and aren't so sensitive to our every urge; which, as strange as it sounds, is what puts us at ease.
Talk about a gentle let down.Kim, you're a sweet girl. As much as it pains me to say it, you deserve better than to have to put up with us brooding INFps. That's why we're paired up with ESTps <- they don't take us so seriously and aren't so sensitive to our every urge; which, as strange as it sounds, is what puts us at ease.
Aww... I didn't mean it that way! Really I didn't! If Kim wants the sensitive artistic type, by God, she can have it... on his terms, of course. :wink:Talk about a gentle let down.Kim, you're a sweet girl. As much as it pains me to say it, you deserve better than to have to put up with us brooding INFps. That's why we're paired up with ESTps <- they don't take us so seriously and aren't so sensitive to our every urge; which, as strange as it sounds, is what puts us at ease.
Baby, I think I love you. I just don't care what color your hair is anymore. :wink:
Side question
@ Kim, I was wondering about your preferences in males. Have you like ever been attracted to the more "masculine" types like for example ESTp, ESTj, ISTp,ENTj etc. Do you have a preference for the "geeky" types and the "sweet sensitive" types?
Just wanted to confirm that those were the only types you have been attracted to because I haven't seen you write about any of the other types I mentioned. When you write about the ISTp ex, I have a feeling that that there is a bit of misplaced rose-colored nostolgia (probably socionics theory influenced and I could be wrong) and you have not spoken of being attracted to any other ISTp since. I think other things too, like is she attracted to types/people that are more likely to be rejecting etc, but then its past my bedtime and I think too much anyway.
That was me again.
I am almost certain of where males are concerned is that it is better for them to pursue you than you them. If they are really, really interested, they will pursue you(even the shy ones).
It is fun to pursue males sometimes, but if they give in and establish a relationship with you they tend to be quite neglectful and not quite as caring throughout the entire relationship. Let them work, before and after, do not deprive them of this, it is good for them and you, initial passivity in males is usually not a good sign.
I cannot tolerate not being the one who initiates relationships.
Someone tell me this isn't true!
LMAO! That's hilarious. Someone needs to say that to me!
Entp
ILE
YOU need that someone says that to you.LMAO! That's hilarious. Someone needs to say that to me!
Hehe. Yeah, I was reaching for that IRL.YOU need that someone says that to you.LMAO! That's hilarious. Someone needs to say that to me!
Entp
ILE
NOW!
Joy, I think Megan really has a point.
“Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage.”
― Anais Nin
Actually, Megan is on to something. It's not so much that men feel they need to have initiated a relationship, but that they need to have a sense of control over where the relationship is going. One way to do this is let them pursue you... Of course, with INFps, most will never rack up the nerve to initiate a relationship explicitly - and here it's not so much a male v. female factor but one of intense sensitivity and shyness - so a little "help" on your end might be worthwhile. However, allowing the guy to feel a sense of control over the relationship - ie, allowing him to plan dates, initiate contact by touch, all the while with positive aprobation - will prevent him from those aforementioned feelings of being trapped/obligated, etc.
I cannot tolerate not being the one who initiates relationships.
Sometimes I think life is just a tad too complicated for poor little me...
“Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage.”
― Anais Nin
What's this I see? An ENFp expressing her cynical side? Someone needs to go watch A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving to renew her faith in life itself.
lol.... Charlie Brown Thanksgiving.... man, your killing me here.
*Kim is still dancing her way over to Delta and wonders what she was just thinking about...there was something about Herzblut and a plan. And Baby turned into Charlie Brown. And Harry Bottom was there, too....*
“Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage.”
― Anais Nin
Thank you ishy, I knew there had to be a reasonable voice in the crowd, and I am suprised in took days to appear. I, however, am not suprised that you're the one who it is coming from. =)What's wrong with passivity in males?
Joy - I don't think it's true, not for all males anyway.
To be quite honest, I am extremely offended by the notion, and I am quite suprised that some of the people here agreed. "All healthy relationships are iniated by men..." It's so preposterous that I don't even know where to begin... What about men who just aren't comfortable doing that? Are we saying that there is something wrong with them, that all healthy men ought to desire to initiate their relationships? To make such a blanket statement regarding gender is quite foolish and clearly extremely biased to society's expectations, just as much so as saying that all men should be the breadwinner or all women should want babies.
Also, there does not need to be a specific "hunter" and "hunted". Obviously both people need to be interested in order for the relationship to work, so there's generally a little bit of a "the ball's in your court now" kinda thing going on. Say one person lets the other know that there is interest. It is probably best for the other person to say a little bit of interest in return before the first person continues to try to push things forward. Both people should be making an effort to move things in a romantic direction, even if one is more forward than the other.
I guess what I'm saying is that it really offends me to hear someone who I regard as wise (that's you megan) make such a blanket statement about gender. I'm just as offended for the men as I am for them women. Actually, I take that back. The whole point is that there are not (or at least ought not be) clearly defined male or female roles. We're all just people!!! Each of us is an individual, and there are a hell of a lot more things that make up each of us and determine who we are than our just gender.
I know I tend to go off on rants about male/female roles more often than most, and I really want to make the point that this is not about me being a feminazi. To hold women as being more important or deserving or priviledged than men is just as offensive to me as holding men in that position. My whole point is and always has been that gender is not THAT important!
I know that my attitude about initiating relationships isn't the healthiest... for me, if a guy wants to assure that I will never date him, the best way to go about it is to hit on me. Yes, that's a little extreme, and I know that I have some issues to work through. Regardless of whatever those may be, my stance on this subject will remain the same: I do not believe that there are gender defined roles in relationships or in society. When people make statements such as megan's, I am offended for humans of any gender.
ENFP males are awesome!
True story!
ENFP - Ethical Subtype.
In touch with semireality.
ps enfp males aren't passive.
ENFP - Ethical Subtype.
In touch with semireality.
soo... everyone stay away from male INFpsinitial passivity in males is usually not a good sign.
No I don't agree with her and I'm sick of these statements too. But who knows were Megan lives and what kind of experiences with men she was having till now.. (see the classical INFp bull kicks in omg i can't stop it
http://forum.socionix.com
I don't see what's so important about the possibility of extraterrestrial life. It's just more people to declare war on.
EVERYONE PLZ CONTINUE TO UPLOAD INFINITE AMOUNT OF PICS OF "CUTE" CATS AND PUPPIES. YOU KNOW WE GIVE A SHIT!!
Posting Permissions
Reply With Quote