One thing that I really love to do is to hear diffrent opinions as to what diffrent people believe, and then to leave them for my own consideration. Sometimes I may get confused as to what to believe myself, and I have to conpensate by making considerations to the ultimate big-picure and tear down the data, obsorbing the strengths and weaknesses of everything that I have gathered into a strong and purified form that I would considered my own beliefs. Sometimes I will even take my own cherished beliefs and compare them to one another and even destroying them sometimes to make them stronger. In this way, I like to weed out the bad and keep I consider to be good. I may even combine two concepts into one whole new concept that can be used as a helpful tool in finding out other new and interesting concepts. I theorize alot, too.
When I am in new enviroments, I tend to expend alot of energy think about who I want to get to know and may actually feel anxious to get to know someone, but I do not always approach people because I am sometimes shy around others, and I am not always sure if I want to get to know someone that I can not readily relate to or would not get along with. When I talk to people I know, I tend to only express just enough emotion to get them to talk about themselves and I often ask questions to get them to talk about themselves or so that I can get an idea upon their emotional state and make considerations about their feelings towards me, themselves, and others.
I do not have alot of friends, and I can be quiet and unsocial alot of times. To be honest, I may not even really like a whole lot of people, but at the same time I want to be liked by everyone. People have picked up on this before and have commented that it always seems as though I do not like people.I totally hate sympathy and I hate it when people act all levey-dovey. I like to appear independant and acting that way towards me just makes me feel worthless, and people who express too much love and effection just give me the creeps. I would not do that myself, either. Makes me want to puke.
I am not really all that disciplined and I can not stand to be put under alot of pressure. I have a fear of looking too passive and I can become overly agressive and demeaning when I must assert myself and may at times unintentionally lose control of my own strength. Sometimes I will intentionally act more agressive than I should if I get the impression that other people think I am acting passive in an attempt to prove to them that I am not a passive person. I am also sort of sensitive and defensive for really odd reasons as well if certain buttons are hit, everyone has those though.
I am not very neat, clean, or organized. I have a hard time taking care of my health and my surroundings, and I hope that if I ever get married my wife does not nag at me for not doing certain things and maybe even will compensate for that area or maybe I should just hire a maid or something. That is really really not a strong point for me at all.