duality question! how much understanding is optimal?

[ashlesha]

how much understanding is really optimal between two people?

this question could be about duality in theory, or it could be about your own opinion concerning what the ideal would be.

sometimes somebody says something to me like, "yeah, i totally know what you mean." and i know that they don't. but when it comes to that particular topic and that particular person there's something a bit charming and lovely about the gap inbetween. sometimes a person will misunderstand me in such a way that they veer the conversation over to the left but then between the left and where i'm standing on the right, there forms a ven diagram middle where i gain a perspective that i couldn't have gained if they had completely understood me. of course, there are other times i get annoyed at people believing they understand me when they don't, or somebody steers the conversation so far away that i get lost and think they're clueless. it isn't ALWAYS okay. what factors do you think are at play here? a certain percentage ratio of understanding? lol. functions in play? etc. etc.

[krieger]

i see it, to some extent, as a tradeoff between ease of interaction and the reward in terms of personal growth.

if you're very similar to another person, interaction will be smooth but you will learn very little. if you are very different, interaction will take effort and adjustment, but if the relationship succeeds your horizon can be expanded massively.

some people are too different for interaction on a certain level to succeed. acquaintance, friendship and intimacy all "test" one's ease of adjustment to different degrees.

it is probably true, though, that some differences are simply impossible to bridge between people and will always be a source of confusion and aggravation rather than learning.

2c.

[Creepy-pikachu]

The idea is that our repressed self is our ideal self, roughly. In other words, the idea is that we are very poorly aware of what our ideal self is.

The joke is that arguing with a dual would be like arguing with ourself, lol.

[Beautiful sky]

The idea is that our repressed self is our ideal self, roughly. In other words, the idea is that we are very poorly aware of what our ideal self is.

The joke is that arguing with a dual would be like arguing with ourself, lol.

It is!
This means we should never argue

[Korpsy Knievel]

[717495]

I will say nothing about this.

[Galen]

We readily await the day you decide to disembowel yourself out of shame

[SyrupDeGem]

I'm not convinced of the duality theory except in as much as two people can have a level of understanding that... imo, is pretty mind blowing. I'm not sure i can explain what i mean by that but i presume others will have experienced it too. How much this has to do with individual socio types , i just *shrug* at the moment. I think i have found that though...duality.... communication with one individual in particular which is crystal clear.

[Scapegrace]

Ohohohoh.

[SyrupDeGem]

Haha, very good!

[717495]

What is the enneatype of the singer in the video?

[Absurd]

Not much of an idealist, but it seems to me you want to 'measure' this understanding between two subjects (duals?) and for it to work you have take take into account your own and other person's knowledge about certain topics not to mention you're going to have to know what your goals are and what you want to improve when it comes to understanding.

How does it work for me personally?

There were times I, literally, got "scared"/amazed when it came to certain people thinking they can read my mind.

[Korpsy Knievel]

E-type is Pentium III.

[blackburry]

I argue with myself so. there's that.



I also like to argue. so there's that also.

But I also also like to feel understood, but I like to be misunderstood too.

Really I get very very bored if I'm totally understood and I get very frustrated if I'm never understood. Just as you stated.

Solution:
if only I could date about 3 different duals at a time to keep it them all spicy, because one person gets boring, and I'm sure I bore everyone I'm with too (except I don't. because I'm the most awkward person on the planet, and I constantly get myself into conundrums; therefore I always have a constant vault of stories).
But that wouldn't work either, because then they could date others as well- I wouldn't like that. so. It'd be really cool to find a person who would not bore me and vice versa.
Dream big b/c every person I've ever dated has had me at one point during being with them, waking up with coyote ugly syndrome (but b/c of excruciating monotony not b/c of unattractiveness).

wooty woot.

[mikesilb]

Friggin awesome! Nuf' said!

[mikemex]

At a fundamental level, a dual is nothing but an external manifestation of the same information element order in our subconscious. Understanding is there but not at a conscious level. That's why duals tend to trust each other; they feel they are working on the same wavelength, even if they can't explicitly say how.

[FDG]

What's optimal (imho) is having 100% understanding, but somewhat different perspectives: It's negative when two people cannot understand each other's perspective at all, thus the higher the understanding, the better the relationship is. However, at the same time, there should be an amount of divergence in the "preferred" option, such that both players can gain something form the exchange. How much should this difference be, is hard to quantify.

[ashlesha]

BUT IF SOMEBODY 100% UNDERSTOOD ME THEY WOULD ALWAYS AGREE WITH ME!

[FDG]

BUT IF SOMEBODY 100% UNDERSTOOD ME THEY WOULD ALWAYS AGREE WITH ME!

Why? You may 100% understand the premises of an argument, but disgree on the optimal course of it (for example), even if you understand what the other person is doing.

[ashlesha]

i know, after i thought about it. it was just my very first thought and then i thought it sounded pretty smug and silly so i posted it to laugh at myself. lalala.

[Azure Flame]

In my science experiments with personalities and hitting on youtube girls, I'm starting to think that duality is really mostly just about ease of communication, and that's about it. I'm starting to think enneagram plays more into relationships than socionics does. Although duals still make awesome friends.