Argh, type stupid boyfriend! Stupid!

[ScarlettLux]

You know what's really messed up? I'm back to thinking he is an INTj. I'm not even just saying this confuse myself... it really DOES make no sense to me! He shows traits of all three types in varying ways and does not fit either one correctly. When I think deeply about it, he does respond to well and is only quiet when I am being difficult (as I was being that day I made the post) I have noticed that when I do the whole big smile, positive and perky attitude, he very quickly lightens up and talks a lot. He is a very reactive person, can not seem to create a positive atmosphere without someone doing it first.

It does not seem like Super-ego to me though, I have known SLIs and one on one, we can not even talk to eachother. One on one, him and I are like great together. It's only around other people (usually friends of only ONE of us) that we get awkward... we both have pretty bad social anxiety. He has said that he is not a very intimate person and doesn't like holding hands, etc. Just the fact that he even spends so much time with me speaks to his affection and I guess I should appreciate that but I'm glad because today he finally began talking about how this relationship does need work and more physical affection without me bringing it up (I haven't talked about this in a very long time, I just let it fester and hoped he would be pushed to do something about it and finally my strategy worked)

I don't really know the difference between Kindred & Beneficiary relations anymore. Anyone wanna take a stab at it? Whenever he does anything remotely , I get very happy. He forced me out of bed this morning to go to a theme park even though I was complaining incessantly about my tiredness... he kept saying he wanted me to come, he really did and that was the only thing that dragged me out of bed when he said to just get up now! Also things like forcing me on rides that I didn't want to go on, I like that in a person .. it sounds quite disturbing in a way I know, and I am probably the more unhealthy one in this relationship.

I've been meaning to make a long post about my mental health because I can sense the deterioration of it in more ways than one and it's freaking me out. I'm not sure where to begin.

[ScarlettLux]

BTW PPod, I've dated a 22 y/o when I was 17 (still am) Let me tell you, age doesn't really make a difference. It's a lot worse imo to date someone older.

[normal]

maybe you are really obsessed about yourself Scarlettlux. Somehow, almost everypost you write lastly reflected part of me years ago.
And agree, age doesn't really matter (I was with a girl 4 years old more than me)

[ScarlettLux]

maybe you are really obsessed about yourself Scarlettlux. Somehow, almost everypost you write lastly reflected part of me years ago.
And agree, age doesn't really matter (I was with a girl 4 years old more than me)

I fucking am and it's disgusting and I know it I know I am very self-absorbed but I am a teenager who is still learning. It's depressing.

[normal]

maybe you are really obsessed about yourself Scarlettlux. Somehow, almost everypost you write lastly reflected part of me years ago.
And agree, age doesn't really matter (I was with a girl 4 years old more than me)

I fucking am and it's disgusting and I know it I know I am very self-absorbed but I am a teenager who is still learning. It's depressing.

It's not depressing. I think this is really Normal (just like my nickname :wink: ). Just be yourself and relax


too much I see

[Elro]

You know what's really messed up? I'm back to thinking he is an INTj. I'm not even just saying this confuse myself... it really DOES make no sense to me! He shows traits of all three types in varying ways and does not fit either one correctly. When I think deeply about it, he does respond to well and is only quiet when I am being difficult (as I was being that day I made the post) I have noticed that when I do the whole big smile, positive and perky attitude, he very quickly lightens up and talks a lot. He is a very reactive person, can not seem to create a positive atmosphere without someone doing it first.

My advice: stop worrying so much about it. Just let stuff happen the way it will happen, and forget about typology - he might even be your dual, but if you overanalyze things it could actually hurt the relationship. Be yourself! (I know, that's a horribly contrived saying, but sometimes it applies.)

[ScarlettLux]

You know what's really messed up? I'm back to thinking he is an INTj. I'm not even just saying this confuse myself... it really DOES make no sense to me! He shows traits of all three types in varying ways and does not fit either one correctly. When I think deeply about it, he does respond to well and is only quiet when I am being difficult (as I was being that day I made the post) I have noticed that when I do the whole big smile, positive and perky attitude, he very quickly lightens up and talks a lot. He is a very reactive person, can not seem to create a positive atmosphere without someone doing it first.

My advice: stop worrying so much about it. Just let stuff happen the way it will happen, and forget about typology - he might even be your dual, but if you overanalyze things it could actually hurt the relationship. Be yourself! (I know, that's a horribly contrived saying, but sometimes it applies.)

Yes, I know I should follow this advice. I'm actually not overanalyzing things beyond well, this thread. I like to think about things, and it's not like I obsess over knowing his type. I thought hey, why not just post about it in this forum .. I mean, it would be interesting to know.

[Expat]

By the way, referring to the title of the thread -- "you're stupid! Stupid!" is a line of Plan 9 from Outer Space.

[ScarlettLux]

By the way, referring to the title of the thread -- "you're stupid! Stupid!" is a line of Plan 9 from Outer Space.

[ScarlettLux]

Asymmetric relationship. One partner (the recipient) feels like he is being watched closely by the other (the transmitter) and becomes overly self-conscious and defensive or apologetic. The transmitter doesn't appreciate most of what the recipient does and underestimates his abilities and personal qualities, which hurts the recipient's self-esteem and can lead to long-lasting scars. The transmitter is surprised by the recipient's sensitivity and doesn't know what to do about it. The recipient feels like he can't take any initiative when he is around the transmitter, who wonders why the recipient doesn't do anything on his own. Difficult relations for a close or medium psychological distance.

Yikes .. that sounds perfect. But if I supervise him ... he'd be an ESFj Now someone is going to tell me I am an EIE

[xyz]

maybe you are really obsessed about yourself Scarlettlux. Somehow, almost everypost you write lastly reflected part of me years ago.
And agree, age doesn't really matter (I was with a girl 4 years old more than me)

I fucking am and it's disgusting and I know it I know I am very self-absorbed but I am a teenager who is still learning. It's depressing.

Heh, my gf is 22 and she's still the way you are. Good luck!

[redbaron]

I like to think about/obsess over things also (and I'm a heck of a lot older than you). So don't be too hard on yourself! As for the relationship, hopefully you can learn something from it, whatever type he turns out to be. If nothing else, maybe you'll come away from this eventually with the realization that you absolutely need someone who is more of an initiator, more action-oriented or whatever. That's pretty valuable.

I enjoy diamond's posts also!

[Khamelion]

I only read your post Scarlett, not the rest of the thread.

But he sounds pretty hot.


I l.o.v.e chess.

[Blaze]

thanks for the compliments redbaron, scarlettlux, and elle.

scarlet are you still seeing him?

[astralsilky]

Then again, you said I was IEE

Hence, my desire to reinforce moments when I may actually get things right ...

:wink:

[Garmonbozia]

By the way, referring to the title of the thread -- "you're stupid! Stupid!" is a line of Plan 9 from Outer Space.

I didn't know you were of such good humor, Peter. Ed Wood as a favorite director of mine.

[Expat]

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oHRq80QNnJM[/youtube]

That line is in 3:24.