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Thread: ESTps through the eyes of INFps

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    Default ESTps through the eyes of INFps.

    I have been wondering for sometime now about what INFps in particular admire and find attractive about ESTps.

    I do not think I actually understand this attraction. So I ask INFps, What do you like about ESTps?
    Socionics: XNFx
    MBTI: INFJ

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    from toronto with love ScarlettLux's Avatar
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    Their confidence, assertion and courage. The fact that they can push through whatever physical obstacle is in their way to reach their ultimate goal. They can motivate me just by seeing the in action. Their response to my . Their valuing of my dreaminess, predictions, etc. Their well developed system of logic that answers my many questions. Their Declarer attitude, very decisive and leads to no further DOUBTS being needed by the IEI which is definitely beneficial.

    They are badass and will fuck someone up for you when you are in need =]


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    Johari
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    something that I like about ESTps is that when a disgusting, horrible, terribly offensive thought, which I of course find amusing, accidentally leaks out of my depraved mind and into my mouth, instead of recoiling, or reprimanding me, they giggle and then unabashedly pry paragraphs more out of my mouth with their bare hands, they brazenly wrap their fingers in it till their whole hand is covered and then slap my ass casually so as to provide a soundtrack to the disgustingx10, horriblex10, terribly offensivex10, thoughts their own mouths are about to unleash upon me, which they of course find amusing. I find it hilarious but am also insulted that they could one-up me so easily so I reach a little bit further in and see what I can find..... lol nothing is sacred!
    INFp-Ni

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    Spontaneity. I so have to deliberate about things from every angle most of the time and *still* don't end up making a decision. ESTps just pick a path and go with it, hardly ever feel regret or think it would have been different "if"...

    I also usually feel I lack "physical" concrete energy, don't feel present in my body. ESTps are innately physical and usually comfortable in their own skin.
    socio: INFp - IEI
    ennea: 4w5 sp/sx

    **********

    Quote Originally Posted by Mark Twain
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    Quote Originally Posted by ScarlettLux
    Their confidence, assertion and courage.
    I'll have to agree... assertiveness, confidence.... I've seen this in some females and yummy...
    Plus... when these characteristics are present between the sheets... OMG OMG OMG... let's say that I don't mind letting them be themselves.
    "What is love?"
    "The total absence of fear," said the Master.
    "What is it we fear?"
    "Love," said the Master.

    I chose Love

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    I have an INFP girlfriend. When I introduced her to a friend of mine, an ESTP, she said in her own words something like: he's everything I despise.

    But that's probably because he was talking about his dick and wanting to drop down his pants in a disco. Well you know, just some ESTP stuff.

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    Default Re: ESTps through the eyes of INFps.

    Quote Originally Posted by Megan
    I have been wondering for sometime now about what INFps in particular admire and find attractive about ESTps.

    I do not think I actually understand this attraction. So I ask INFps, What do you like about ESTps?
    They are random, well-rounded, intelligent and darkly sarcastic. Never a dull moment. Under all of the bravado and brash beats the heart of an INFp. They can be surprisingly sentimental about certain things.

    I think NFp's understand that ESTp's aren't maliciously selfish. They're just focused on doing whatever satisfies them. Whatever they do (or don't do) should not be taken personally - it had nothing to with you whatsoever. INFp's can be the same way.

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    My type is estp.
    MAYBE I'LL BREAK DOWN!!!


    Quote Originally Posted by vague
    Rocky's posts are as enjoyable as having wisdom teeth removed.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Rocky
    My type is estp.

    really?
    SEE Unknown Subtype
    6w7 sx/so



    [21:29] hitta: idealism is just the gap between the thought of death
    [21:29] hitta: and not dying
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    Quote Originally Posted by Khamelion
    Quote Originally Posted by Rocky
    My type is estp.

    really?
    I don't think so... BUT zenbrat's point above, the one Herzy agreed with, does sound like me.
    MAYBE I'LL BREAK DOWN!!!


    Quote Originally Posted by vague
    Rocky's posts are as enjoyable as having wisdom teeth removed.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Rocky
    Quote Originally Posted by Khamelion
    Quote Originally Posted by Rocky
    My type is estp.

    really?
    I don't think so... BUT zenbrat's point above, the one Herzy agreed with, does sound like me.

    You are surprisingly sentimental about certain things?
    SEE Unknown Subtype
    6w7 sx/so



    [21:29] hitta: idealism is just the gap between the thought of death
    [21:29] hitta: and not dying
    .

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    Quote Originally Posted by zenbrat
    I think NFp's understand that ESTp's aren't maliciously selfish. They're just focused on doing whatever satisfies them. Whatever they do (or don't do) should not be taken personally - it had nothing to with you whatsoever. INFp's can be the same way.
    Ok...... so maybe the INFps can help me with this one. So an ex of mine was an INFp but we stayed friends. I'm still a little protective of her like I am with most of my female friends. Anyhow she dated this ESTp for a summer and stayed in touch with him over the year when she went to school. They were both meeting up the next summer by going back to the same place and a few nights before she was getting there he had sex with her best friend. The best friend told me at some time awhile later that the ESTp "lied to her" and told her that he was going to have a hard time deciding between her and the INFp and that's why she had sex with him. Anywho the ESTp and INFp went on to go out that whole summer when she got there, and he nor the best friend ever told her. To this day I'm not sure she knows. My question is this... would an INFp even care about this? I'm sure he just wanted to fuck something and the best friend was there. Is this what INFps understand that I don't?
    Suomea

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    Quote Originally Posted by Suomea
    Ok...... so maybe the INFps can help me with this one. So an ex of mine was an INFp but we stayed friends. I'm still a little protective of her like I am with most of my female friends. Anyhow she dated this ESTp for a summer and stayed in touch with him over the year when she went to school. They were both meeting up the next summer by going back to the same place and a few nights before she was getting there he had sex with her best friend. The best friend told me at some time awhile later that the ESTp "lied to her" and told her that he was going to have a hard time deciding between her and the INFp and that's why she had sex with him. Anywho the ESTp and INFp went on to go out that whole summer when she got there, and he nor the best friend ever told her. To this day I'm not sure she knows. My question is this... would an INFp even care about this? I'm sure he just wanted to fuck something and the best friend was there. Is this what INFps understand that I don't?
    That's very sad.

    Although I can't imagine any "best friend" of mine ever being so two-faced, I sure as hell would care. However, I have immense trouble deciding if I would actually want to know. The "ideal" would shatter into millions of bits, and since I would never be able to see the two people the same way, I wouldn't be able to forget it. Forgiving is one thing, forgetting impossible.

    Personally, I've often been in complicated romantic situations where I deliberately overlooked things about the other person because I wanted to hold onto the idea that if I loved them enough, everything would eventually be OK. Usually, it became glaringly obvious that it just wasn't going to work and eventually fell apart anyway.

    She probably doesn't want to see what happened.
    socio: INFp - IEI
    ennea: 4w5 sp/sx

    **********

    Quote Originally Posted by Mark Twain
    Only kings, presidents, editors, and people with tapeworms have the right to use the editorial 'we'.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Khamelion
    Quote Originally Posted by Rocky
    Quote Originally Posted by Khamelion
    Quote Originally Posted by Rocky
    My type is estp.

    really?
    I don't think so... BUT zenbrat's point above, the one Herzy agreed with, does sound like me.

    You are surprisingly sentimental about certain things?
    Somethings, but I meant this;

    Quote Originally Posted by zenbrat
    They're just focused on doing whatever satisfies them. Whatever they do (or don't do) should not be taken personally - it had nothing to with you whatsoever.
    MAYBE I'LL BREAK DOWN!!!


    Quote Originally Posted by vague
    Rocky's posts are as enjoyable as having wisdom teeth removed.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Suomea
    Quote Originally Posted by zenbrat
    I think NFp's understand that ESTp's aren't maliciously selfish. They're just focused on doing whatever satisfies them. Whatever they do (or don't do) should not be taken personally - it had nothing to with you whatsoever. INFp's can be the same way.
    Ok...... so maybe the INFps can help me with this one. So an ex of mine was an INFp but we stayed friends. I'm still a little protective of her like I am with most of my female friends. Anyhow she dated this ESTp for a summer and stayed in touch with him over the year when she went to school. They were both meeting up the next summer by going back to the same place and a few nights before she was getting there he had sex with her best friend.
    This is a good example. Moral consensus says "it's wrong to fuck the best friend of the girl you're dating". But... ESTp's don't exactly subscribe to the moral consensus.

    The best friend told me at some time awhile later that the ESTp "lied to her" and told her that he was going to have a hard time deciding between her and the INFp and that's why she had sex with him.
    The ESTp just wanted to see if he could accomplish the impossible. It was a challenge for him to see if he could get the best friend, in spite of the obstacles and taboos. I think they like to see how smart people are - if they fall for the game, it's the other persons fault. They should have known better.

    My question is this... would an INFp even care about this?
    Absolutely.

    I'm sure he just wanted to fuck something and the best friend was there.
    It wasn't the sex he was after. It was a challenge; conquest.

    Is this what INFps understand that I don't?
    I'm not sure all of them do. Experience with ESTp's helps.

    Both types are extremely jealous but they tend to agree that sex is sex and love is love.

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    I think there is a big difference between sexual infidelity and emotional infidelity. IMO, humans aren't naturally monogamous but they are pair-bonding creatures. I wouldn't forgive a partner who engaged in an emotional affair with someone else, but if it was just a lusty fling... eh. I'd rather not know anyway.

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    This whole thread makes me feel like I belong.
    MAYBE I'LL BREAK DOWN!!!


    Quote Originally Posted by vague
    Rocky's posts are as enjoyable as having wisdom teeth removed.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Rocky
    Quote Originally Posted by Khamelion
    Quote Originally Posted by Rocky
    Quote Originally Posted by Khamelion
    Quote Originally Posted by Rocky
    My type is estp.

    really?
    I don't think so... BUT zenbrat's point above, the one Herzy agreed with, does sound like me.

    You are surprisingly sentimental about certain things?
    Somethings, but I meant this;

    Quote Originally Posted by zenbrat
    They're just focused on doing whatever satisfies them. Whatever they do (or don't do) should not be taken personally - it had nothing to with you whatsoever.
    I know Just wanted to see if the rest fit too
    SEE Unknown Subtype
    6w7 sx/so



    [21:29] hitta: idealism is just the gap between the thought of death
    [21:29] hitta: and not dying
    .

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    Quote Originally Posted by Suomea
    Quote Originally Posted by zenbrat
    I think NFp's understand that ESTp's aren't maliciously selfish. They're just focused on doing whatever satisfies them. Whatever they do (or don't do) should not be taken personally - it had nothing to with you whatsoever. INFp's can be the same way.
    Ok...... so maybe the INFps can help me with this one. So an ex of mine was an INFp but we stayed friends. I'm still a little protective of her like I am with most of my female friends. Anyhow she dated this ESTp for a summer and stayed in touch with him over the year when she went to school. They were both meeting up the next summer by going back to the same place and a few nights before she was getting there he had sex with her best friend. The best friend told me at some time awhile later that the ESTp "lied to her" and told her that he was going to have a hard time deciding between her and the INFp and that's why she had sex with him. Anywho the ESTp and INFp went on to go out that whole summer when she got there, and he nor the best friend ever told her. To this day I'm not sure she knows. My question is this... would an INFp even care about this? I'm sure he just wanted to fuck something and the best friend was there. Is this what INFps understand that I don't?
    i'd take my friend's betrayal more seriously if i found out about that kind of situation, I don't think I'd be able to see them the same, whereas with the ESTp I could look over it unless it happened again
    INFp-Ni

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    Quote Originally Posted by misutii
    Quote Originally Posted by Suomea
    Quote Originally Posted by zenbrat
    I think NFp's understand that ESTp's aren't maliciously selfish. They're just focused on doing whatever satisfies them. Whatever they do (or don't do) should not be taken personally - it had nothing to with you whatsoever. INFp's can be the same way.
    Ok...... so maybe the INFps can help me with this one. So an ex of mine was an INFp but we stayed friends. I'm still a little protective of her like I am with most of my female friends. Anyhow she dated this ESTp for a summer and stayed in touch with him over the year when she went to school. They were both meeting up the next summer by going back to the same place and a few nights before she was getting there he had sex with her best friend. The best friend told me at some time awhile later that the ESTp "lied to her" and told her that he was going to have a hard time deciding between her and the INFp and that's why she had sex with him. Anywho the ESTp and INFp went on to go out that whole summer when she got there, and he nor the best friend ever told her. To this day I'm not sure she knows. My question is this... would an INFp even care about this? I'm sure he just wanted to fuck something and the best friend was there. Is this what INFps understand that I don't?
    i'd take my friend's betrayal more seriously if i found out about that kind of situation, I don't think I'd be able to see them the same, whereas with the ESTp I could look over it unless it happened again
    What if instead of an ESTp it was an ENTp?
    Suomea

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    Quote Originally Posted by misutii
    Quote Originally Posted by Suomea
    Quote Originally Posted by zenbrat
    I think NFp's understand that ESTp's aren't maliciously selfish. They're just focused on doing whatever satisfies them. Whatever they do (or don't do) should not be taken personally - it had nothing to with you whatsoever. INFp's can be the same way.
    Ok...... so maybe the INFps can help me with this one. So an ex of mine was an INFp but we stayed friends. I'm still a little protective of her like I am with most of my female friends. Anyhow she dated this ESTp for a summer and stayed in touch with him over the year when she went to school. They were both meeting up the next summer by going back to the same place and a few nights before she was getting there he had sex with her best friend. The best friend told me at some time awhile later that the ESTp "lied to her" and told her that he was going to have a hard time deciding between her and the INFp and that's why she had sex with him. Anywho the ESTp and INFp went on to go out that whole summer when she got there, and he nor the best friend ever told her. To this day I'm not sure she knows. My question is this... would an INFp even care about this? I'm sure he just wanted to fuck something and the best friend was there. Is this what INFps understand that I don't?
    i'd take my friend's betrayal more seriously if i found out about that kind of situation, I don't think I'd be able to see them the same, whereas with the ESTp I could look over it unless it happened again
    why would you decide differently about the estp? just curious.

    i'd expect my friends to have my back more than a "potential" boyfriend i guess.

    ILE

    those who are easily shocked.....should be shocked more often

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    Quote Originally Posted by aka-kitsune
    Quote Originally Posted by Suomea
    Ok...... so maybe the INFps can help me with this one. So an ex of mine was an INFp but we stayed friends. I'm still a little protective of her like I am with most of my female friends. Anyhow she dated this ESTp for a summer and stayed in touch with him over the year when she went to school. They were both meeting up the next summer by going back to the same place and a few nights before she was getting there he had sex with her best friend. The best friend told me at some time awhile later that the ESTp "lied to her" and told her that he was going to have a hard time deciding between her and the INFp and that's why she had sex with him. Anywho the ESTp and INFp went on to go out that whole summer when she got there, and he nor the best friend ever told her. To this day I'm not sure she knows. My question is this... would an INFp even care about this? I'm sure he just wanted to fuck something and the best friend was there. Is this what INFps understand that I don't?
    That's very sad. :(

    Although I can't imagine any "best friend" of mine ever being so two-faced, I sure as hell would care. However, I have immense trouble deciding if I would actually want to know. The "ideal" would shatter into millions of bits, and since I would never be able to see the two people the same way, I wouldn't be able to forget it. Forgiving is one thing, forgetting impossible.

    Personally, I've often been in complicated romantic situations where I deliberately overlooked things about the other person because I wanted to hold onto the idea that if I loved them enough, everything would eventually be OK. Usually, it became glaringly obvious that it just wasn't going to work and eventually fell apart anyway.

    She probably doesn't want to see what happened.
    Sorry didn't actually see this post. Thanks so much for responding. This also seems like the closest as how I would see her responding.

    p.s. Blaze that comment was for the INFps right?
    Suomea

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    p.s. Blaze that comment was for the INFps right?
    yes and for misutii specifically.


    but then i thought about it and agreed. and posted the whole thing anyway. oh well, 8:00 a.m. my head's not all that screwed on ....

    ILE

    those who are easily shocked.....should be shocked more often

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    I do not look on SLEs very highly ... sometimes I think that they will all never be that loyal, faithful type of person that I see myself with ... all stories involving them (even the more intelligent, high functioning ones) have mentioned something of too much of a partying lifestyle (so unappealing), treating women sort of like sex objects/conquests. I just don't see how they can be changed by an IEI.


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    Johari
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    Quote Originally Posted by ScarlettLux
    I do not look on SLEs very highly ... sometimes I think that they will all never be that loyal, faithful type of person that I see myself with ... all stories involving them (even the more intelligent, high functioning ones) have mentioned something of too much of a partying lifestyle (so unappealing), treating women sort of like sex objects/conquests. I just don't see how they can be changed by an IEI.
    i don't think IEI's change them, only soften them. IEI's have a way of explaining morality that makes you want to do better. and they explain the way things play out over time really well, which makes you kind of stop in your tracks and re-think things. then they tell you in simple terms what to do to do better with people especially. and usually they explain it so simply that you can actually do it. :-)

    -quoth life long entp -

    ILE

    those who are easily shocked.....should be shocked more often

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    The only times I really feel like I'm helping him is when I explain to him why he shouldn't judge people so much/why he should be considerate/how sometimes it's safer to stic to boring topics of conversation...
    So he find confort with Fi :roll: ? ESTp ? are u sure ?

    I get close to be banned from personnalitycafe because Ive do many shit about percieved mistyped Ni dom, it seem I will do the same here... I often ask myself if my perception of function are totally wrecked or its other who cant identify their proper function used...
    "The final delusion is the belief that one has lost all delusion."

    -- Maurice Chapelain

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    Quote Originally Posted by noid View Post
    So he find confort with Fi :roll: ? ESTp ? are u sure ?
    This dynamic does typify ESTp-INFp duality, so far as I can tell. SLE will accept, actually needs, this kind of correction from an IEI dual, and will absorb it somewhat from an activity partner maybe (though activity may just give less of it), but probably not so much from others.
    LSI: “I still can’t figure out Pinterest.”

    Me: “It’s just, like, idea boards.”

    LSI: “I don’t have ideas.”

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    Thats a possibility... Thats strange, when my ex LSE girfriend was giving-Se like advice, I was never really ok with that... Sometime in a way I feel obligated to give "moral lessons".And here the advice seem REALLY Fi, in a way that would hurt a ESTp polr.

    off topic : your signature inspire me.
    "The final delusion is the belief that one has lost all delusion."

    -- Maurice Chapelain

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    Quote Originally Posted by noid View Post
    So he find confort with Fi :roll: ? ESTp ? are u sure ?
    That's not Fi, it's something F-fxns could produce, in certain contexts maybe even N and T-fxns as well, depending on the perimeters. What octo said about her relation with her bf struck me as F-ego, but I wouldn't attribute that viewpoint strictly to any IE or type. Functions are not ideologies or viewpoints.
    Last edited by Radio; 01-17-2012 at 05:39 PM.

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    Sound right. I think Ive never see any IEI or EIE in my life, all what I know is a product of my imagination when it come to these type (as well as ILI, LII, LIE).
    "The final delusion is the belief that one has lost all delusion."

    -- Maurice Chapelain

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    Breaking stereotypes Suz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by octo View Post
    I find it difficult to work out what it is exactly that I bring to the relationship... it's obvious how much he helps me with his Se, but it's kind of hard for me to see what I do with Ni, although I suppose I could be a positive influence. The only times I really feel like I'm helping him is when I explain to him why he shouldn't judge people so much/why he should be considerate/how sometimes it's safer to stic to boring topics of conversation... but we usually have these conversations when he's drunk, so I'm not sure how much he takes in
    Yeah i feel the same way about duality too. I feel dual's help but i am not sure what I am bringing to the table.
    Enneagram: 9w1 6w5 2w3 so/sx

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    Jesus is the cruel sausage consentingadult's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by octo View Post
    I find it difficult to work out what it is exactly that I bring to the relationship... it's obvious how much he helps me with his Se, but it's kind of hard for me to see what I do with Ni, although I suppose I could be a positive influence. The only times I really feel like I'm helping him is when I explain to him why he shouldn't judge people so much/why he should be considerate/how sometimes it's safer to stic to boring topics of conversation... but we usually have these conversations when he's drunk, so I'm not sure how much he takes in
    I told an SLE woman once that we couldn't be drinking and smoking weed and fucking like gonzo porn actors all the time, when there were two little children (her children!) upstairs sleeping, and that's when shit hit the fan. I guess she found out I was not IEI after all
    “I have never tried that before, so I think I should definitely be able to do that.” --- Pippi Longstocking

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    Quote Originally Posted by octo View Post
    I find it difficult to work out what it is exactly that I bring to the relationship... it's obvious how much he helps me with his Se, but it's kind of hard for me to see what I do with Ni, although I suppose I could be a positive influence. The only times I really feel like I'm helping him is when I explain to him why he shouldn't judge people so much/why he should be considerate/how sometimes it's safer to stic to boring topics of conversation... but we usually have these conversations when he's drunk, so I'm not sure how much he takes in
    haha old thread! I think IEIs bring a certain atmosphere to the relationship, wherein the SLE feels he can be himself. He doesn't have to watch his every word or move, he can SAY exactly what he thinks (and he realizes that if he does this with other types, he gets mixed, at best, results). He can let down his guard and this is invaluable to him. He can relax and he knows we'll usually go along with the fun he wants to have and be pleasant appreciative companions. Plus, we're charming.

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    Glorious Member mu4's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by octo View Post
    I find it difficult to work out what it is exactly that I bring to the relationship... it's obvious how much he helps me with his Se, but it's kind of hard for me to see what I do with Ni, although I suppose I could be a positive influence. The only times I really feel like I'm helping him is when I explain to him why he shouldn't judge people so much/why he should be considerate/how sometimes it's safer to stic to boring topics of conversation... but we usually have these conversations when he's drunk, so I'm not sure how much he takes in
    It's not about changing who they are but changing how they present themselves.

    Generally, XEI don't judge XLE for who they are, rather XEI appreciate what XLE bring, and seem to find their nasty, tactless behavior likable. And XLE do want to be liked and appreciated. One has to realize that most other types provide a lot of negative info as well and positive info is not the only reason why someone might like you more then others. Imo, polr are quite sensitive to negative info in relationships and need constant reassurance. I've broken up relationship for a all sort of reasons, some of these very abruptly and irrevocably.

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    I've heard that SLEs and IEIs are born with tails. Don't know if it is true, though.

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    To be honest, the idea of me making some sociopath nicer is a little sad/misguided. I don't think it works that way. I don't think you can fill somebody up with niceness who wants to be mean....

    I guess how I view it more as, the SLE will rage and get angry/emotional and other people will troll them for that, except for the IEI. But SLE has big hearts too and seems to be just caring. I don't think I mesh well with people who are 'badass' because I'm nice guy. I think nice guy goes with nice guy and badass goes with badass. I guess you just bring out parts of the other are hidden, like SLE se-ego males especially know what I like erotically in bed and just fucking DO IT without me having to communicate.

    I don't view IEIs as all that nice either. (strrrng anybody?) I know how to bite into people too, read my 16types story (that was controversial and got banned at many points). Just because i have neon sparklies in my eyes and im introverted doesn't mean i don't know how to cut people too. haha I always feel like i have be a serial killer in order to have the respect of americans.

    is it so bad i wanna be nice and not kill or murder people!

    its more like IEIs actually know how to defend the underdog where other people don't.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Starfall View Post
    The other day SLE was sulking
    Sulking?

    That's interesting.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Starfall View Post
    I kind of feel like they need us as friends. They put all their trust in us & see us as little comforting silly angels.
    yes.

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    SLEs:

    -Find our self-centeredness adorable and when we actually care about other people, find it noble.
    -Talk well and tend to be damn smart (and smart in ways that make sense to us).
    -Push you without being uncomfortably pushy
    -Want attention/kindness/pleasantness, which we are very good at providing (Fe creative!)
    -Think that our essential childlikeness brings meaning/value/significance rather than merely seeing it as an obstacle to external success.
    -Are (willing to be) pushy for us (true of Se-egos in general) since they're good at being pushy and we tend to suck ass at it.
    -In general, consider us valuable, for whatever reason, which is just the highest compliment you can pay someone.
    Not a rule, just a trend.

    IEI. Probably Fe subtype. Pretty sure I'm E4, sexual instinctual type, fairly confident that I'm a 3 wing now, so: IEI-Fe E4w3 sx/so. Considering 3w4 now, but pretty sure that 4 fits the best.

    Yes 'a ma'am that's pretty music...

    I am grateful for the mystery of the soul, because without it, there could be no contemplation, except of the mysteries of divinity, which are far more dangerous to get wrong.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Blaze
    Quote Originally Posted by misutii
    Quote Originally Posted by Suomea
    Quote Originally Posted by zenbrat
    I think NFp's understand that ESTp's aren't maliciously selfish. They're just focused on doing whatever satisfies them. Whatever they do (or don't do) should not be taken personally - it had nothing to with you whatsoever. INFp's can be the same way.
    Ok...... so maybe the INFps can help me with this one. So an ex of mine was an INFp but we stayed friends. I'm still a little protective of her like I am with most of my female friends. Anyhow she dated this ESTp for a summer and stayed in touch with him over the year when she went to school. They were both meeting up the next summer by going back to the same place and a few nights before she was getting there he had sex with her best friend. The best friend told me at some time awhile later that the ESTp "lied to her" and told her that he was going to have a hard time deciding between her and the INFp and that's why she had sex with him. Anywho the ESTp and INFp went on to go out that whole summer when she got there, and he nor the best friend ever told her. To this day I'm not sure she knows. My question is this... would an INFp even care about this? I'm sure he just wanted to fuck something and the best friend was there. Is this what INFps understand that I don't?
    i'd take my friend's betrayal more seriously if i found out about that kind of situation, I don't think I'd be able to see them the same, whereas with the ESTp I could look over it unless it happened again
    why would you decide differently about the estp? just curious.

    i'd expect my friends to have my back more than a "potential" boyfriend i guess.
    oh sorry i was in a hurry when i typed that and i can see how it doesn't make sense. What I meant aligns with what you said. I expect 1000 times more loyalty from my actual friends than I do from potential gfs.... I don't believe in friendships based on convenience, after all I'll need my friends to serve as a reliable support network should a relationship fail. I'm careful with selecting friends and am not going to forgive or forget any treachery because people that say they're my friend, whilst fucking me over, are trash and its garbage day.

    When I said "ESTp" I just meant 'potential love interest' type wouldn't matter -while it would hurt me that they fucked my friend I would place blame on my friend. If they fucked 2 of my friends I'd see a pattern forming, conclude they lack integrity, and start becoming indirectly harmful to their mental health.

    a person who is a) stupid and/or b) emotionally retarded, needs to c) understand that there is no justification for glorifying such and so must d) deal with the unpleasant consequences they deserve.

    of course all of this is hypothetical, at least according to my knowledge lol
    INFp-Ni

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