ENFps saying or doing something that they later regret

[Topaz]

Another thing ENFPs think regularly: "Whoops, NOW I realize why they reacted so strangely..."

Let me explain that.
On a language course I got chatting with two people, and somehow we began to talk about the fact that in our country you've got to have had Latin at school to be able to study languages. I was totally against it. They reacted strangely. Things got rather chilly. I was genuinely surprised. Later I remembered that both those people are teachers of (taDAH!) Latin.
Or: once I greeted a distant cousin of mine by banging a hymn book over his head. He didn't appreciate it, and I wondered why. Later I realized that it's because he's so dignified and tense. (However, my aunt and Mum both agreed that a little bang over the head probably did him a world of good.)
Anyone else?

I tend to put my foot in my mouth sometimes or do strange things that get me in trouble. You'd think I would see it coming but Im so wrapped up in the thought proccess I forget who Im talking to
Example: I went to a particularly comical wedding where everything went wrong. At one point in the reception they had a guy imitating Michael Jackson as "entertainment" It was awful and comical. Fast forward a year later hanging out with friends and the topic comes up "The Worlds Worst Weddings". Thats right you guessed it . "Remember that crazy wedding with that guy who was trying to be Michael Jackson?" then I turned and looked dead in the face of the guy whose wedding it was and after a second or two it dawned on me why everyone got so quiet. We're still friends.

Topaz

[schrödinger's cat]

It's a bit of dilemma, IMO. Either I just let myself go and try to be totally myself -- with all these side-effects that later on make splendid anecdotes, but can be a tiny bit embarassing at the time. Or I make myself focus on the real world, and that means I stay out of trouble, but I also lose an important part of myself. As dilemmas go, that isn't really very dramatic, but nevertheless, it's real. It depends on what pressure your environment puts on you to be more focussed, organized, "realistic" and "sober-minded".

That's why I would NOT recommend having an ISTJ or ISFJ organize you. My mother is ISFJ, and I have an ISTJ cousin who is my Mum's goddaughter. They just CANNOT understand how anyone can be that scattered. Being focussed and doing one's duty thoroughly, punctually and systematically is their forte: and IMO we criticize people mercilessly when it comes to things we really do very well. (Every type does it.) They're capable of producing real pressure on my weak points without meaning to. They're dears, and I love them a lot, but my Mum and I can NOT live together - we drive each other up the wall. It works if we have separate flats and if my Mum remembers not to comment on things I do (or fail to do). ISFJs and ISTJs cannot "ignore" disorganization and untidiness the way we can; so it really, really bugs them. Once the chores are done, they're total dears.

[Darklord]

Ah, a dilemma. And of the kind I can't keep my meddling away from, either:
Schrödinger's Cat, be yourself. The anecdotes will be funny for you, too, after a while. What is a bit of trouble measured up against imagination, fun, and a piece of your soul?

[schrödinger's cat]

Sorry, I didn't mean to complain. The anecdotes are funny, and I can see that now. The thing is, as a teenager I kept getting the message that being that way is a very serious character flaw. I had PTSD badly at the time, which makes things worse. (That was back in the 80s, when hardly anyone knew what PTSD was, or even that teenagers can get a depression). Plus, my family were in a bad situation and my ISFJ Mum was literally working herself to death for all of us, so she wasn't too energetic either, and we for years we got into quarrels quicker than you can say "PoLR". Plus, my school class was a bit weird and (let's say) not supportive. So in my case, this dilemma I mentioned was extreme.

I'm OK now, honestly. Sometimes all those feelings I didn't express back then will pop up again and attach themselves to something like this, and I sound as if something's a huge problem for me when in fact it merely reminds me of a huge problem I used to have two decades ago. So to balance this out I'll add some positive things.

FIRST. I celebrated my 30th birthday with the battle cry "better thirty than thirteen!" I've got plenty of reasons to be glad about getting older, unlike the rest of you. "Better fourty than fourteen!" - "Better fifty than fifteen!" - The only time this won't work is when I'm turning 200. I didn't mind being 20.

SECOND. And it's one of the reasons why I like this board. That story about the ENFP who took his exams in his underpants totally made my day. So you see, it's really a win-win situation for everyone. I get to hear all those wonderful stories that prove that yes, I'm not alone, and no, being ENFP is not a character flaw; and you get to feel you've done a good deed. Smiles and champagne all around.

Sorry if I sound rambling. I think I'm running a bit of a fever. Luckily the baby's asleep and my husband will be here in an hour, so don't worry.

[schrödinger's cat]

That was me.

[Darklord]

Hey, don't worry. I didn't take anything as a complaint. I just wanted to give a piece of advice.

[schrödinger's cat]

I meant "complain" as in "rant and wail about how shitty one's life is". I seem to have given you the impression that I've got a problem with this dilemma, but I merely meant to state that it exists. Anyway, thanks for trying to help.