Originally Posted by Justin
I am an INTJ.I have tried acquiring social skills from my childhood.(My mother is an ENFP.She always used to push me into social situations and blame me for moving away from people.)I tried putting me in social situations continously.I am 27 year old now.I started losing my hope that I can have good social life.I feel like losing all my confidence in a social situations.This is killing me in my job too.In meetings I am silent eventhough I know many things.I feel like I am a peak INTJ.Can someone help me in giving very good practical tips to have a comfortable social skills?
this probably won't help much as i tend to have the same problems. INTJ's simply aren't social, if people could only read minds - but alas, their heads would explode.
i find that simply being myself works pretty well. this means, be saracastic, but do it with a smile. if they understand that it's sarcastic (or a friendly kind of mean), they will laugh. use humor, but don't tell jokes unless your good at it.
speak to everyone on your level, those under you, and those above you. i never talk up to someone. personally i don't think i have that many friends, however it seems i do - everyone knows who i am. and considering I'm at least 80% introverted, and over 200 people know who i am, i guess I'm doing well enough.
of course the hard part comes to talking to girls. this is where i haven't figured it all out yet. i know lot's of stuff. i can answer some of the strangest questions, go as deep as they want to pry. but people have to ask the questions first, and none ever do.
i've found that simply being myself for the other's though - many find me a curiosity. i don't say good morning (i don't see the point), i'm here, your here, the feeling of good is rarely there. if they want to say it, fine, if they don't fine. many say it out of custom, if you don't they won't. if they really mean it, they will say it regardless of you. many simply like hearing the honest truth. it's something very rare to find these days. so many pleasantries - i get right to the matter. and though abrupt, it seems many actually like that. and if they don't - tough.