ENTp relationship and friendship issues
This thread is intended to be somewhat of a support thread to allow ENTps to vent, rant, and hopefully answer eachothers posts in order to help us understand... well, us.
I am too sleepy to write a good post for this thread right now, but I shall be back.
Have you ever noticed that sleep and food are interchangeable?
One of my main relationship/friendship issues is that I desire inconsistent levels of attention. I also give very inconsistent levels of attention.
Oh we all need sympathy. Sympathy is just having people that understand your problems, doesn't matter if you're in the wrong or not.
We also have trouble knowing if we are at fault or not. To be quite honest though, when you think in terms of socionics(sort of like competing forms of information) alot of the time what is "right" and "wrong" or who is to blame for any matter begins to break down. It all depends on the individual. All you can do is look for someone with experience and understanding to help guide you through your issues.
It's all about understanding ourselves so we can improve ourselves. This thread has NOTHING to do with sympathy, especially from other types.
And as far as I'm concerned, whether we treat people "right" or "wrong" is about self-acceptance.
waddles w, your right... much of dealing with others revolves around perspective.
Pedro's right, though. You guys have this wonderful ice cream sundae in front of you, yet you cry because there's no cherry on it.
Binary or dichotomous systems, although regulated by a principle, are among the most artificial arrangements that have ever been invented. -- William Swainson, A Treatise on the Geography and Classification of Animals (1835)
i don't get it
you don't have relationship problems compared to others.Originally Posted by Joy
I don't know what each type is like in friendships and relationships, but it seems to me that every type has problems.
Don't have relationship problems compared to others?!
LOL, that's what I was thinking. Just being charismatic doesn't mean that we connect with people or that we can keep friends or make any sense out of our relationships.Don't have relationship problems compared to others?!
Almost everyone has some problem with their hidden agenda, crying about it does nothing.
In fact, to make this thread mean something (sorry… Joy):
This tread is a good indicator of the problems of the ENTp’s. ENTp’s find it difficult to evaluate importance, and when doing so, may be either appear to be or is egocentric.
I guess I can be a hypocrite sometimes.
no one is crying about anything. I don't think that was joy's intention. Every type has different problems and the forum is an interesting place to discuss things with people that have similar problems. I don't see why anyone is so bothered by it. you don't like the thread, ignore it. There are more threads about INTj problems than any other type but no one says anything. Well, I have problems, too. And although I blow them out of proportion and make a bigger presentation than necessary, people find them interesting because it gives them some anecdotes and so forth that they can think about.
That's the way it would look to someone with an Fe PoLR.
Really!? so we look like crybabies to you?
Well I think this is a good thread and when i have more relationship problems, which i undoubtedly will, I'll post here.
@PTL: wads is right, the alpha threads are intj problem-city. Thread after thread about intj's and how to reach them, how to help them be less depressed, how to figure them out blah blah blah. It's kind of like the pot calling the kettle black, for sure.
It's hard to be entp in a world ofand
. I've tried all kinds of things but that 4th function
which puts them totally in touch with details facts and figures which they use to offset a weak
can't compensate as well.
Plus we can be so irritating to others with our
I know this post is kind of vague, but I guess I'm waiting to see what we all decide to share here. And I think it's a great thread idea!
Entp
ILE
edit
Re: ENTp relationship and friendship issues
I don't do that, unless the problems really aren't my fault. (e.g., a drunk driver drives into me) Mostly I think everyone is to blame for their own unhappiness. I think I have a gift for just seeing through peoples' garbage arguments and excuses for being the way they are, so to others it may look like a blame game.wtf? let's cut through the crap. you guys don't need sympathy you need to learn how to stop blaming other people for your problems.
EDIT: I am not denying that I am a hypocrite.
Blaze, very well said.
Essentially, I have a hard time understanding how I feel about people. If I'm getting along with someone I can give them too much attention, which causes problems. More often though I just don't follow up on new possible friendships. I just don't feel like it. And then time passes and it would be ridiculous for me to give them a call of of nowhere. I also get offended most of the time when I get hit on. I either respond too negatively or not negatively enough. Lately I've decided that ignoring it entirely is the way for me to go. And again, attention is an issue. Sometimes I just want to be left alone and sometimes I want someone to pay attention to me. It's pretty random.
Yeah.... this isn't at all what I had in mind when I started this thread! lol
What ice cream sundae?
Entp
ILE
I think you guys were way too harsh! Every type can & does have 'problems with friendships' - as an ENFP I can tell you that.
Whine away!
Kidding. Personally I think the biggest problem I've had with friends who I think are ENTP (I suck at type identification, but let's just go with it) is you're totally inconsistent (pot calling kettle blaaaack) but you guys have a defensive arrogance that goes along with it. While I just may forget to call you / see you / spend time with you - it's because I'm distracted by other stuff. But when I get around to it (and I do) I'll love you all the same! And apologise for being distant. You guys (from my experience) if you do acknowledge it, it's more of a "what of it
"
ENFP - Ethical Subtype.
In touch with semireality.
Yeah we are probably a little defensive and arrogant. Believe it or not we don't even know half the time when we come across that way. I think it comes from not picking up on the feelings and ethics - we just look at the logic and respond with logic which can be out of place when you are talking about relationships with people. Example:I think you guys were way too harsh! Every type can & does have 'problems with friendships' - as an ENFP I can tell you that.
Whine away!
Kidding. Personally I think the biggest problem I've had with friends who I think are ENTP (I suck at type identification, but let's just go with it) is you're totally inconsistent (pot calling kettle blaaaack) but you guys have a defensive arrogance that goes along with it. While I just may forget to call you / see you / spend time with you - it's because I'm distracted by other stuff. But when I get around to it (and I do) I'll love you all the same! And apologise for being distant. You guys (from my experience
"You didn't call!"
"Was I supposed to call?"
"Yeah, you said you would."
"You're getting on me? You never call either."
Is that what you mean, NM?
Entp
ILE
That's a really great point! And we don't act like we're sorry because we don't want to make it look like we care more than we should, and we don't want to assume that the other person even noticed. And besides, if we're expected to put forth some type of regular, consistent effort into the friendship, we're being set up to fail from the beginning. If someone is sad because they were hurt by the inattentiveness, we feel like crap. We hate hurting people, but for them to call us on any kind of behavior involving inconsistency feels like a personal rejection.Kidding. Personally I think the biggest problem I've had with friends who I think are ENTP (I suck at type identification, but let's just go with it) is you're totally inconsistent (pot calling kettle blaaaack) but you guys have a defensive arrogance that goes along with it. While I just may forget to call you / see you / spend time with you - it's because I'm distracted by other stuff. But when I get around to it (and I do) I'll love you all the same! And apologise for being distant. You guys (from my experience
I dunno, at least that's how it is with me.
I hate it when ILEs say that they will call you right back, or when you're IMing them they say "brb", and they never show up again.
We don't say it if we don't intend to follow through. But then stuff happens. We may realize that there was something important that we HAVE to do and should have been doing instead of talking in the first place. Or sometimes someting happens that changes my mental state. I have to be in the right mood to talk to most people. I mean, there are people who I always feel comfortable talking to, but for most people I have to be in the right state of mind. Maybe that's more of a "Joy" thing than an ENTp thing though...
Sometimes I think ENTps feel rejected when there is no real reason for them to.
Meanwhile, he'd complain about how his girlfriend wasn't paying enough attention to him.
Don't get me wrong, he's a great person, and it's not his fault he wasn't interested in me. But he was too absent-minded to even be polite sometimes.
TiNe, LII, INTj, etc.
"I feel like I should be making a sarcastic comment right now, but you're just so cute!" - Shego, Kim Possible
Ohhh YES! I totally relate to this ... I could not guide myself out of a paperbag using@PTL: wads is right, the alpha threads are intj problem-city. Thread after thread about intj's and how to reach them, how to help them be less depressed, how to figure them out blah blah blah. It's kind of like the pot calling the kettle black, for sure.
It's hard to be entp in a world of
Plus we can be so irritating to others with our
I know this post is kind of vague, but I guess I'm waiting to see what we all decide to share here. And I think it's a great thread idea!
And the hair brained schemes too, I come up with those alot with theories and such. It is about all I do anymore.
I have felt rejected my whole life, which always puzzles people because I am generally liked by them and I do not always realize it. I feel like the whole world has rejected me.
And another thing, what is it with ENTps and promoscuity?
I mean, for me it seems to hard to start a relationship, that I can get pesimistic and think that I would be cursed to a life of promoscuity and there is no changing that.
I do not think people always realize how messed up ENTps are when it comes to relationships. There are alot of nice things about ENTps, but that is not one of them.
//
yeah, it's generally one of two things:
1) a fear of intimacy, or
2) chronically low dopamine, norepinephrine, and/or phenylaneline
Yeah, I do have a bad fear of intimacy ... I do not deny that. And I know I am screwed in the head, so bad at times that I have had to take medication ... probably what joy said.
Promiscuity is also a source of easily derived pleasure; perhaps I'm simply throwing my sexually minded adolescent twist on things?
I doubt it.
"To become is just like falling asleep. You never know exactly when it happens, the transition, the magic, and you think, if you could only recall that exact moment of crossing the line then you would understand everything; you would see it all"
"Angels dancing on the head of a pin dissolve into nothingness at the bedside of a dying child."
But I can't picture casual sex being anywhere near as fun as sex with someone you're really close to and feel absolutely comfortable with.
::Shrug::
I can't really speak about sex except out of ignorance, so I suppose I'm not really in the position to speak in the matter.
"To become is just like falling asleep. You never know exactly when it happens, the transition, the magic, and you think, if you could only recall that exact moment of crossing the line then you would understand everything; you would see it all"
"Angels dancing on the head of a pin dissolve into nothingness at the bedside of a dying child."
Well, I'm sure it's different for everyone. However....
An insecure ENTp is a very dangerous thing indeed.
My main relationship issue is that I really just don't like most people. I mean, I don't actively dislike them, I'm just not interested. Most people's interests are so different from my own that I derive no benefit from socializing with them, so I don't. I have a few close friends, but none that I really connect with. People tell me I connect with them, but they don't connect with me. Maybe I'm not letting them? I'm not sure, but I always feel distanced from others on some deep level. I love people, deep down, but there's some block there, and I believe I should really work on fixing it, because I desire a close, physical relationship.
MysticSonic, when you discover the blend of awkwardness, hilarity, pleasure, and lust that is human copulation, you will be a new man. I bet you'd be really funny to see the morning after.
"I am detecting an unaccountable feeling of primal satisfaction that seems to be eminating from my pants. I sense that I recently was involved in the kicking of something's ass, and that that thing was very large indeed. Additionally, although I am physically depleted at present, I want to continue kicking this giant ass until I am no longer able to force myself to do so. Someone needs to construct me a sandwhich."
I hear ya there...this is exactly how i feel around people. Maybe it is just a product of stong intuition. i'm infj with strong
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