Business/Look-alike Relations: Stories and Experiences

[calenwen]

Ooh, I had a good LSI (male) friend. We met and instantly hit it off, we always had a million things to talk about and we laughed a lot. He was almost a little too for me, though, curiously enough. I kind of maybe had a little crush on him, too, but I don't think things would have worked out romantic-relationship wise because we had really different interests and social circles.

[meatburger]

Ooh, I had a good LSI (male) friend. We met and instantly hit it off, we always had a million things to talk about and we laughed a lot. He was almost a little too for me, though, curiously enough. I kind of maybe had a little crush on him, too, but I don't think things would have worked out romantic-relationship wise because we had really different interests and social circles.

My parents are ISFj and ISTj look alikes. They have been together for like 40 years almost! My ISFj mum occasionally comes and talks to me about my dad's insensities and low emotional intelligence. My dad i think also wishes mum was a little more outgoing. They both seem to have a lot of respect for each other for getting things done and being pretty tough. Overall when im lying in bed in the morning, i hear them talking and they seem genuinely happy.

I had a relationship with an ESFp. It was fun and we had a blast, until she started having secks with a salior behind my back. Wont go near ESFp's again. It wouldn't have worked anyway, two emotional extraverts is a fail its only a matter of time.

[redbaron]

I had a relationship with an ESFp. It was fun and we had a blast, until she started having secks with a salior behind my back. Wont go near ESFp's again. It wouldn't have worked anyway, two emotional extraverts is a fail its only a matter of time.

do you really think this (or maybe you were just speaking for yourself)? I know an ENFp/ESFj couple who have been married for about 10 years.

[Creepy-Pied Piper]

Removed at User Request

[meatburger]

do you really think this (or maybe you were just speaking for yourself)? I know an ENFp/ESFj couple who have been married for about 10 years.

I do really think this yeah. In fact i personally would take it even further and say two extraverts are not a good idea. Definately it could work for an extended amount of time as in your example but i just wonder at what cost. As a type who has strong Fi and values Fi its all about the quality of relationships for me. That is why people say ENFp's can be snobbish with who they hang out with. I really want every relationship in my life to have as less trouble / stress as possible because i actually feel every ebb and flow of the relationship very keenly. I basically feel relationships getting stronger or slipping away with each encounter. I can just percieve problems with two extraverts annoying each other in social situations and there energies kind of conflicting is the only way i can say it. Two introverts together just works better than two extraverts (imho), because if one needs the space the other doesn't really mind. The only benefit of two extraverts being in a shitty relationship is they might annoy each other quicker so it ends faster whereas two introverts may be more inclined to live with a shit relationship for their entire lives

I know an SEI and ISTp in a relationship and its bound for fail, they just dont know it yet. Hes in the army so he only comes back occasionally, and of course the SLI is really missing him by that stage so its all roses for the few weeks hes back. I personally think people could do with a bit more Fi lol. Many people have no conception of what a good relationship is and that is why so many relationships and marriages fail. Ephemeros example is a great one!

/rant over (dunno where all that came from)

[redbaron]

So do you think that even identical extravert relationships are doomed (or more difficult)? I know a married SEE couple. (just curious if you were talking only about lookalikes here or any combo)

[meatburger]

So do you think that even identical extravert relationships are doomed (or more difficult)? I know a married SEE couple. (just curious if you were talking only about lookalikes here or any combo)

I do think basically all extravert - extravert ones are crappy. I think identical relationships are not a very good idea. Two See's would be a sight to be behold. But who am i to say? I wouldn't say doomed, i would just say with difficulty. I would be interested to find out where im wrong though. One thing i need to remember is that most people dont have such strong Fi, so perhaps most people dont worry / notice the problems as much as i would.

[redbaron]

I do think basically all extravert - extravert ones are crappy. I think identical relationships are not a very good idea. Two See's would be a sight to be behold. But who am i to say? I wouldn't say doomed, i would just say with difficulty. I would be interested to find out where im wrong though. One thing i need to remember is that most people dont have such strong Fi, so perhaps most people dont worry / notice the problems as much as i would.

So what do you mean about strong Fi? What kinds of problems do you notice that you think other people might let slide? I'm curious.

and yeah, the two SEEs are quite a sight! They're great people--I've only ever seen them out in public and they're a riot, but I do wonder how their relationship is at home.

[tiny_dancer]

because i actually feel every ebb and flow of the relationship very keenly.

+1

*ah* I <3 identicals. But I hate being IEE for this reason. It's impossible to ignore. It makes dating torture, and it makes quite a few social situations uncomfortable. Blah.

[jessica129]

Was this posted today as in 2/16? I'm all confused.

[tiny_dancer]

Mine was. I thought meatburger's & redbaron's were too.

[redbaron]

yes, mine was today, 2/16.

[meatburger]

So what do you mean about strong Fi? What kinds of problems do you notice that you think other people might let slide? I'm curious.

Good question. Im not a fan of trying to explain things like this its just not my strong suit but i will try a little. I think its more of a feeling of not liking someones energy or that something is a little off. While they say you cant judge a book by its cover and shouldn't i often do this, and normally fairly successfully (in a relationship sense) imho. I just see everyone on a sliding scale of compatibility. My ENTp and ENTj friends are actually more work than my ISTp and INFj and ESTj friends. I have to try harder to keep conversations going, talk about interesting topics, to smile and maintain the relationship and to change my behaviour.

What i found curious is that often others just seem a bit oblivious to this kind of stuff. ENTj is quite happy hanging around me, and ENTp doesn't really mind or notice. It does affect them though, they are simply not as happy as they could be, its just that it seems they have no idea why (not reaching potential). We have an INFp who hangs around our group of gammas and deltas and i might add she does a wonderful job, i really like her company. Its just too much for her though and not that much fun so she only ever stays for a short period of time. It always perplexes me that she puts herself through it again and again.

I can almost feel what type of person others want me to be, but i can only be myself. Every small moment however its like i can sense the psychological closeness between me and whoever im talking to. It can actually be painful and tiring as tiny dancer said. Also almost euphoric when things connect.

I also tend to look into the future of relationships a lot (could be just me). I already know who in my life has potential to last a long time and who doesn't. Of course none of this is rocket science. An INFp can do most of this and all types can tell who they feel good around, typically peoples best friends later in life are those of higher compatibility. Im just so prone to trying to get people to like me and adapting to what they might want, that it becomes like a stressful job. The time leading up to the breakup where everyhing feels at its pinacle of wrongness can be awful. When i find someone who is effortless, its really cool. This is why ENFp's are prone to dumping others. If theres no compatibiliy we are working that much harder in every moment that its eventually like retiring from a stressful job. Ultimately, its this feeling of incompatibility which will make two people get shittier and shittier at each other as time goes by. People will try to focus on the elements of their relationship like communication, being interested in each others interests, doing meaningful stuff together, when the real problem is probablly that they are just not right for each other. Im also a perfectionist, i do realise that things can always be better and im constantly looking for that not quite willing to settle (until a little later). Of course being a people pleaser is a mild thing, its under the surface for me, and i get a lot of perks and benefits for doing it. It needs to be balanced so people dont walk all over you. I tend to know what i want in a person and when my own feelings are violated, and thats a good indicator for good relationships.

When it comes to love though, things just go out the window it seems. When people get attached to someone and a bit of loving at first they miss all the crap that will one day get between them hence the honeymoon period. A lot of people fear being alone, so they stay in the worst stuff possible. To top it off, many people place a premium on unimportant shit like popularity, money and looks, wasting prescious time trying to force a square peg into a round hole. Dont get me wrong, ENFp's have as little clue as most others. Probablly because we believe we can charm everyone and we can be people pleasers we will try. The only thing in our favour is we do typically get out of it. I know an INFp guy and ENFp courting each other and its basically painful for me to watch. Its terribly uncomfortable between them. They will hook up though, and no doubt spend a couple of years working out why it wont work. Its funny because i heard him say "she always pulls away at the critical moment" lol. This is where socionics comes in. It seems to have given me a framework to work within, and i just seem to notice incompatibilites in my own and others relationships far more now. Is this bad or is it good? Depends if knowledge is power or if ignorance is bliss :wink:

/wall of text :redface:

[jessica129]

I like your posts meatburger, you should post more.

*ohmigod duality!!!1*

[redbaron]

wow, that was a really good post! thanks for taking the time to try to explain it.

I just see everyone on a sliding scale of compatibility. My ENTp and ENTj friends are actually more work than my ISTp and INFj and ESTj friends. I have to try harder to keep conversations going, talk about interesting topics, to smile and maintain the relationship and to change my behaviour.

it's interesting that you try so hard to change your behavior to accommodate others.

What i found curious is that often others just seem a bit oblivious to this kind of stuff. ENTj is quite happy hanging around me, and ENTp doesn't really mind or notice. It does affect them though, they are simply not as happy as they could be, its just that it seems they have no idea why (not reaching potential). We have an INFp who hangs around our group of gammas and deltas and i might add she does a wonderful job, i really like her company. Its just too much for her though and not that much fun so she only ever stays for a short period of time. It always perplexes me that she puts herself through it again and again.

I do this too. I mean, there are groups that I frequent for short periods of time, people I genuinely like and enjoy but wouldn't ever get very close to. Obviously there must be something she gets out of it, even if it tires her after awhile. I'm very much that way. My other thought is that maybe the reason the ENTj and ENTp are happy around you is because you do so much of the work accommodating them, that they don't have to do anything! lol

I can almost feel what type of person others want me to be, but i can only be myself. Every small moment however its like i can sense the psychological closeness between me and whoever im talking to. It can actually be painful and tiring as tiny dancer said. Also almost euphoric when things connect.

I also tend to look into the future of relationships a lot (could be just me). I already know who in my life has potential to last a long time and who doesn't. Of course none of this is rocket science. An INFp can do most of this and all types can tell who they feel good around, typically peoples best friends later in life are those of higher compatibility.

Yes, I can feel the future of relationships also. Which is actually really helpful and cool because you can then decide how much time you want to spend on any given relationship, knowing ahead of time the probable end result.

Im just so prone to trying to get people to like me and adapting to what they might want, that it becomes like a stressful job.

interesting. I sometimes have a different problem of people latching themselves onto me, telling me things, trying to get to be my friend when I know the relationship has a limited potential. So then it becomes how do I let them know, nicely, that it's not going to work between us (I'm taking about friendships, not romance). I don't adapt myself that much. I have done it maybe once, recently, with an SEI. I've been a lot more outgoing and Ne with him because it's clear how much he loves it and we have so much fun together. But it's also very obvious to me that I couldn't live with him because I'm not what he expects. But then, neither he nor I are married to our duals so it's almost like what we "expect" has been downgraded or something. lol Anyway, all of that to say that I don't generally adapt myself to others. It's too much expended energy!

When it comes to love though, things just go out the window it seems. When people get attached to someone and a bit of loving at first they miss all the crap that will one day get between them hence the honeymoon period. A lot of people fear being alone, so they stay in the worst stuff possible. Dont get me wrong, ENFp's have as little clue as most others. Probablly because we believe we can charm everyone and we can be people pleasers we will try. The only thing in our favour is we do typically get out of it. I know an INFp guy and ENFp courting each other and its basically painful for me to watch. Its terribly uncomfortable between them. They will hook up though, and no doubt spend a couple of years working out why it wont work. Its funny because i heard him say "she always pulls away at the critical moment" lol. This is where socionics comes in. It seems to have given me a framework to work within, and i just seem to notice incompatibilites in my own and others relationships far more now. Is this bad or is it good? Depends if knowledge is power or if ignorance is bliss

yes, it can be painful to watch that sort of thing. Knowing about socionics can definitely be a two-edged sword.

[meatburger]

I like your posts meatburger, you should post more.

*ohmigod duality!!!1*

Haha thanks . Im having a steak at the irish pub tonight with my ISTp friend. Hes brining along the new girl hes seeing. He actually wants my opinion of her lol. From what ive heard i think shes likely to be an ESFp. Im certianly not going to tell him his new girlfriend sucks unless she really does. ESFp - ISTp isn't too bad anyway. If shes ESFp she will probablly suck alright!!! Like a hoover vacum cleaner lololol.

Hes impressed by my predictive capability when i suggested that its going to be problems him sitting next to a cute married with child ENFp girl (she used to be his 2ic at work). They ended up hooking up a few times lately (he touched her boob!), but her husband found out. I explained to him that she probablly volunteered this info to her husband as its what i would do (out of guilt). ENFp girl has totally cut contact with him which is also im sure what i would also do (trying to fix things with husband). Of course all the predictions i made were just from socionics guesses haha.

I do this too. I mean, there are groups that I frequent for short periods of time, people I genuinely like and enjoy but wouldn't ever get very close to. Obviously there must be something she gets out of it, even if it tires her after awhile. I'm very much that way. My other thought is that maybe the reason the ENTj and ENTp are happy around you is because you do so much of the work accommodating them, that they don't have to do anything! lol

Yeah i dont think she really minds. She just sees whats going on then goes on her merry way. I think you are right about the ENTp and ENTj. Being strong in Fi also means that i can to some extent give them what they need and bring them closer. Most people seem to like to feel understood and to be complimented (even non fi valuerers). I almost feel like an imposter with them however. The ENTj has an ESFp friend who would just love to play poker with him and give people shit and watch sport, yet the ENTj hangs out with me (i think a lot to do with loyalty). Anyway ENTj has recently got an ISFj and shes really made a good change in his life. Hes branching out so much more but the changes in him are now too hard for me to control. Hes started hanging around the gammas heaps more and is not really available anymore. I think its basically like the benefit relationship says, my meager offerings of Fi are nothing compared to what his new Fi dominant girlfriend is giving him. Its finally become clear to him that what i have to give isn't really what he needs. While this might sound like a sob story, its not really. I knew that this kind of thing would one day happen and where he fades away someone else will take his place. Hes a great guy, i would rather him be happy

[Simon Ssmall]

Im just so prone to trying to get people to like me and adapting to what they might want, that it becomes like a stressful job.

A few people couldn't believe me how cold I can be after I done something like this, basiclly stopping communication or trying to reach out completely. It was met with "???? How can you be so cold and cynical???", thats after I tried to explain in a nice way that there is little that we have in common and most likely annoy each other to no end. I seemed to fail to explain my point of view in times like this but to me its clear how everything will develop and I have no patience or power to invest in a relationship which wont be rewarding in the long run and I don't even need socionics for me to know how things will go. I even give clear examples how our worldview differ and how we annoy each other. However to some people it sounds as inhumane and wrong on so many levels.

[tiny_dancer]

That was a beautimous wall of text, meatburger. Thank you!

thats after I tried to explain in a nice way that there is little that we have in common and most likely annoy each other to no end.

Yes. Nobody really gets this. I'd rather have someone enjoy my company in smaller doses than have them irritated with me for not responding in the manner they need. Sometimes less is more.

[redbaron]

I'd rather have someone enjoy my company in smaller doses than have them irritated with me for not responding in the manner they need. Sometimes less is more.

yes!

[Creepy-male]

Yes. Nobody really gets this. I'd rather have someone enjoy my company in smaller doses than have them irritated with me for not responding in the manner they need. Sometimes less is more.

Troof. There's an IEE at school who does this.

My social activity seems to be limited to hanging out with an SLI. I'd rather just pre-empt the square peg/round hole experience... but I agree with going out and having a scintillating chin-wag with the scattered, lonely souls receptive to every now and again.

[shakealittle]

My best friend at Uni is my look-a-like. I love her and I can be myself with her. Conversations are always really good and it feels like we have a common language, kinda like kindred but it's less aggravating. It's a comfortable relationship without it being relaxing the way it would be if my dual seeking was getting fulfilled....but that doesn't matter too much to me. Working with her is really good too and we can organise things and get things done quickly. I guess the only downside is I might feel a bit of competition with her when other people are involved and the Fe/Fi difference is magnified. But we have each other's backs....it's cool.

[The Exception]

My EII sister and I have this type of relation. We generally get along well and share alot of common interests due to shared creative Ne. Occasionally we will have conflicts due to differences in base functions but nothing major. She's alot more attuned to social conventions and relationships than I am. Sometimes she thinks I've overly technical and pedantic about stuff.

[pluie]

just got out of a look-a-like romantic relation. lawl. its like expat said, pretty much. starts out realllll fuckin' easy and goes shit from there... i mean, for me it went shit. but then again, i think there were factors unrelated to type that at least moderately (if not majorly) influenced the shittiness.

anyway, he was cute *thumbs up*
and we definitely had some...fun. lol. :wink:

EDIT: oh yeah: not sure how much this is type related, but i did definitely sense more sort of freedom of 'sensuality' in hiim
that was probably one of my favorite things! it was refreshing.

[Ave]

Last Friday I watching Rocky 3, and Rocky is SLI and Adrienne is ILI, I beleive. Please no arguements about these people's types as it would be missing the point of this discussion. Ive read that "look a like partners empathize with each other, since they have had shared problems" that "they try to help each other out whenever and wherever they can" but that " since they have shared problems, the help can only do so much". Now the first two statements I agree with. The third one I disagree with because in my relation with ENTjs, we can do a great deal to help each other. And also, back to Rocky. ILIs and SLIs both have trouble where Fi is concerned, that is internal motivation for their own projects. But in both Rocky 2 and Rocky 3, its Adrienne's help that gets Rocky out of the pits whenever he is de-motivated. Then with her help, her support, he always gets that motivation to fight, the "eye of the tiger", lol. That seems like serious help between look a likes to me.

Any thoughts?

[Beautiful sky]

My parents are this pair. They both need their own duals. They are too introverted together but they do enjoy Fi, giving parties to family and friends. They both split Te tasks, one writes the bills the other balances the checkbook. They argue a lot over differing values. My mom is a lot more spiritual/religious in the sense of Se-Fi way and my dad is agnostic, so he drives her up the wall with "It's all fake" where my mom tries to look at it from Fi, "people need it and everything exists for a reason [be empathetic]." They don't hit each other's PoLR so there aren't any emotional and physical arguments. They both split cooking, usually, my dad doesn't clean or repair things, neither does my mom. Renting makes it easier for that purpose.

IDK, my mom needs Se type of love, care and emotional support. She can get to talking about some of her issues, with what people do and did that seemed wrong and he doesn't want to hear her in discussion of these things that frustrates me and makes me upset.

He needs someone with some to encourage him to try new ventures new things...he doesn't get that from my mom.

They have a positive sex life - I'm not going into this.

All in all, it's OK. It's not LOVE. It's just a relationship where they are good together and take care of each other and the kids and stay together.

It's so blah that I can't even compare it to food.

[Creepy-Snaps]

Last night at a business team meeting, I talked again a lot with a friend who's pretty classic LSE. He's been in the business 2 years already, and knows a lot more than me, so a sort of teacher-student relationship has developed between us. His help has been incredibly useful to me, in overcoming the same kinds of problems I'm experiencing. Another guy on my team, an SLE, my benefactor, has helped me before; although his help is useful, I find it takes longer for him to truly help me, and sometimes his advice doesn't apply directly to me, since he sees things slightly different or perceives the problem differently.

Sorry for the long 1st paragraph. Anyway. I was wondering if Look-a-like relationships could be just as helpful as Identical relationships, in terms of teaching.

Looking at basic descriptions of Identity relationships:

Identical partners see the world with identical eyes, identically work out received information, come to identical conclusions and have identical problems.

The result of Identical relations is self-development, because these relations can help you to look at your own abilities and disabilities from a different angle. Identical relations can be compared with watching a video of oneself. In conclusion, only these relations can provide a person with correct self-evaluation.

Many people regard Identical relationships as being the best, even better than Duality, for TEACHING. Because of similar/identical problems and conclusions. But aren't Look-a-like relationships just as helpful too?

Look-a-like partners also have similar problems which makes them feel rather sympathetic towards each other instead of being critical of each other's vulnerabilities.

The partners usually try to help each other, or at least feel when their partner requires some form of assistance. However, in many cases the help is not effective enough because partners have similar problems.

Duality is best for actually helping. But Identity is regarded as best for teaching, because of similar problems. Isn't that the same for Look-a-likes? They have similar problems, perceive things similarly, and feel a need to help each other.

I would even argue that Look-a-like relationships can be better teachers than Identity relationships. You perceive the same problem, hearing someone who understands perfectly what you're going through, and yet you hear a slightly different perspective, which helps contrast to your strength and what you do really well. Maybe help learn to use your Role function better, or to figure out how to use your leading function better regarding the problem.

The ESTj on my business team has helped me a lot. I'm truly thankful for his choleric, not-waste-time attitude, and his outlook has tremendously improved my perspective. What are others' experiences, learning from their Look-a-likes?

[Creepy-Snaps]

C'mon people. 9 hours later, 37 views, and not a single comment? WHAT DO YA THINK!

[Beautiful sky]

What makes you think guy no 1 is LSE and the other SLE?

To answer the question, NO.

Look-A-Like relations easily misunderstand one another. Identical relations address the issues and have the same problems, so helping each other isn't helpful either. To get real and really good help, you need to consult with a dual or a mirror relations.

[woofwoofl]

C'mon people. 9 hours later, 37 views, and not a single comment? WHAT DO YA THINK!

I wonder how much of this has to do with your specific Look-a-like being an LSE I also wonder how much of this has to do with your specific Look-a-like relationship being between two people with a Dominant Judging function...

I get along wonderfully with IEEs in general, and I suppose we kinda mentor each other a bit - one of the people I played guitar with is an IEE, and I learned a lot about creating an atmosphere from the dude - I kinda absorbed his style almost completely within a few days, which freaked out my drummer he also liked how I got a really huge, powerful guitar tone (turn the gain down, get huge strings, and beat on the instrument really hard), though I think the poor dude was a bit overwhelmed during the jams - I did all I could to get the energy levels up, and I think he just wanted to take it easier...

[redbaron]

I love my lookalike but I don't learn much from them. It's more like we play around with Fe for awhile, run out of things to talk about and then walk away.

And I also think it's not so much the lookalike relationship as it is the specific types involved, as woof said.

[Korpsy Knievel]

SLIs and I tend to get on best while laughing at commies and carebears or trading gross-out photos. Beyond that and shared book recommendations there hasn't been a whole lot of education going on.

[Slacker]

I think I have some potential to learn from anyone, but not more from SEEs than in general.

[Korpsy Knievel]

I think I have some potential to learn from anyone

[Creepy-Snaps]

I love my lookalike but I don't learn much from them. It's more like we play around with Fe for awhile, run out of things to talk about and then walk away.

SLIs and I tend to get on best while laughing at commies and carebears or trading gross-out photos. Beyond that and shared book recommendations there hasn't been a whole lot of education going on.

So I'm gathering everyone agrees perhaps it's like woof said, that maybe the specific relationship, ESE+LSE, we're both used to already teaching a bit. So maybe our relationship is more of a teacher-student one than other look-alikes. And there's no connection.

That generally look-alikes just have a bit in common, then after using their ego functions together, they just get bored.

Thank you everyone for your opinions!

[Korpsy Knievel]

I learn from everything and everybody, but in my relations with SLIs I can think of there's no deliberate didactic component to our communications. The same could be said of other types as well, or select individuals within other types. I don't think having an educational aspect to relationships is dependent on type, but when present its nature may certainly be shaped by inter-type as well as extra-socionic factors, e.g. differences in culture, class, experience, education, intelligence, et. al.

[Waster]

I didn't enjoy it. I worked with a ILI-Te (me being SLI-Si) and found him incredibly arrogant and condescending.

He was my superior at work and I'd often have to spend an hour with him doing the papers before the shop opened. We'd eventually start conversing with each other about various subjects and he'd constantly pick at things I said line for line looking for logical inconsistencies and just be argumentative in general. Douche. I avoid him now.

[kopyk]

I'm glad this relation gets some discussion. Socionics is more than just activity, duality, conflict, mirror and supervision.

I didn't enjoy it. I worked with a LII-Te (me being SLI-Si) and found him incredibly arrogant and condescending.

How many subtypes do you use and why bother with that particular number/system?

[wacey]

I didn't enjoy it. I worked with a LII-Te (me being SLI-Si) and found him incredibly arrogant and condescending.

He was my superior at work and I'd often have to spend an hour with him doing the papers before the shop opened. We'd eventually start conversing with each other about various subjects and he'd constantly pick at things I said line for line looking for logical inconsistencies and just be argumentative in general. Douche. I avoid him now.

If you are SLI man, wouldn't that make your business relation ILI's? and not LII's? ILI is look-a-likes with SLI. It's probably a typo I'm guessing cause LII's can't be a Te subtype.

[kopyk]

If you are SLI man, wouldn't that make your business relation ILI's? and not LII's? ILI is look-a-likes with SLI. It's probably a typo I'm guessing cause LII's can't be a Te subtype.

Yeah. Some ILI description called em pedants. I also associate nitpicking with +Ti (valued by beta/gamma in model B).

[Reficulris]

My observations are that business relations in a marriage lead to a lot of success in one realm that is very visible to both types, and imo absolute ruin in another realm, that is a lot more hidden to both.

Examples:
ILE-SLE : work life success, economic security, fun and play, and both types adapt a lot to make this possible. SLE may accept to settle down more than natural/pretend to be more stable, to give the ILE some peace of mind. The ILE may take the submissive role more than natural, cause of seeing the SLE having better results in their common conscious arena than the ILE. Over time, it caves in on itself cause of lack of ethics, no recharging of feelings, and all they built together may feel empty and soulless.

This is a good description of my (non romantic) friendship with an SLE. He's basically a little calmer with me around than on his own. I'm a bit more...hedonistic than normal. Its also the only company in which i completely and utterly let go of my unconsious need to monitor the social situation for trouble (since he kinda polices the social situation in a kinda easy and offhanded way). I'm submissive to him in practical regards but will take a more dominant position as soon as things get conceptual (which he accepts). We do have some conversations which are "emotional" but they're brief and matter of fact like and he's always offering short term high-risk high reward options to fix my "problems" which I usually take and end up liking. I wouldn't like a SO like that as it would miss some of the more "deep" connection stuff, but as a friend he's great to have around