I've fallen for my super-ego and now i don't know what to do
I'm an ISTj and I've met (and fallen for my super-ego, INFj). I find her very physically attractive but I can't seem to melt her the way I'm capable of with other girls, especially ExFx. I feel as if we have nothing in common and nothing to say to each other. When I do say something funny or use my dry humour she just seems to smile. I get no feed back. On this point I can see why the ENFj 'drama queen' is my dual. I have no idea if she actually likes me or if she's totally indifferent, I just get that half-smile. And this undermines my confidence so I increasingly say less funny things and I come across increasingly stiff and boring (the way people who don't know ISTjs very well can think). I feel if I met her for lunch or something like that we'd just be eating in silent, that the conversation wouldn't even carry us 5 minutes. I feel so frustrated because I do care for her but feel our personalities will keep us apart. Is there anything I can do to mitigate super ego relations? Or do i just simply have to bite the bullet and move on?
Re: I've fallen for my super-ego and now i don't know what t
I'll assume that the types are right (since they do seem to be).
Quote:
Originally Posted by mr_maguoo
but I can't seem to melt her the way I'm capable of with other girls, especially ExFx. I feel as if we have nothing in common and nothing to say to each other. When I do say something funny or use my dry humour she just seems to smile. I get no feed back.
From her point of view, being with you and smiling back is perhaps already a feedback.
Quote:
Originally Posted by mr_maguoo
On this point I can see why the ENFj 'drama queen' is my dual. I have no idea if she actually likes me or if she's totally indifferent, I just get that half-smile. And this undermines my confidence so I increasingly say less funny things and I come across increasingly stiff and boring (the way people who don't know ISTjs very well can think).
Yes that makes perfect sense.
Quote:
Originally Posted by mr_maguoo
I feel if I met her for lunch or something like that we'd just be eating in silent, that the conversation wouldn't even carry us 5 minutes.
Yes that will happen with two IJs.
In that case, especially with prevailing gender roles, I'd say you have to make the extra effort to keep it going.
Quote:
Originally Posted by mr_maguoo
I feel so frustrated because I do care for her but feel our personalities will keep us apart. Is there anything I can do to mitigate super ego relations? Or do i just simply have to bite the bullet and move on?
Perhaps the best thing to do is to openly discuss it with her - not about "moving on" :8* but about how she feels about the relationship.
Re: I've fallen for my super-ego and now i don't know what t
Quote:
Originally Posted by mr_maguoo
When I do say something funny or use my dry humour she just seems to smile.
i've experienced the exact same thing with an INFJ. She just didn't say anything, but looked at me and smiled. I didn't know what she meant by it, it almost looked if she was laughing me right in the face.
Strange women those INFJ's...
Re: I've fallen for my super-ego and now i don't know what t
Quote:
Originally Posted by Expat
Quote:
Originally Posted by mr_maguoo
but I can't seem to melt her the way I'm capable of with other girls, especially ExFx. I feel as if we have nothing in common and nothing to say to each other. When I do say something funny or use my dry humour she just seems to smile. I get no feed back.
From her point of view, being with you and smiling back is perhaps already a feedback.
*nods* If she's smiling she isn't having a horrible time.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Expat
Quote:
Originally Posted by mr_maguoo
I feel so frustrated because I do care for her but feel our personalities will keep us apart. Is there anything I can do to mitigate super ego relations? Or do i just simply have to bite the bullet and move on?
Perhaps the best thing to do is to openly discuss it with her - not about "moving on" :8* but about how she feels about the relationship.
Agreed.
Re: I've fallen for my super-ego and now i don't know what t
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jarno
Quote:
Originally Posted by mr_maguoo
When I do say something funny or use my dry humour she just seems to smile.
i've experienced the exact same thing with an INFJ. She just didn't say anything, but looked at me and smiled. I didn't know what she meant by it, it almost looked if she was laughing me right in the face.
Strange women those INFJ's...
INFjs make a lot of sense once you understand who they are.
But in regard to being :Ti: leading,
Yeah, it can be weird, because you are hardwired to expect :Fe: and big smiling faces and expressions, etc.
Re: I've fallen for my super-ego and now i don't know what t
Quote:
Originally Posted by UDP III
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jarno
Quote:
Originally Posted by mr_maguoo
When I do say something funny or use my dry humour she just seems to smile.
i've experienced the exact same thing with an INFJ. She just didn't say anything, but looked at me and smiled. I didn't know what she meant by it, it almost looked if she was laughing me right in the face.
Strange women those INFJ's...
INFjs make a lot of sense once you understand who they are.
But in regard to being :Ti: leading,
Yeah, it can be weird, because you are hardwired to expect :Fe: and big smiling faces and expressions, etc.
How do I understand who they are?
Re: I've fallen for my super-ego and now i don't know what t
Quote:
Originally Posted by mr_maguoo
I'm an ISTj and I've met (and fallen for my super-ego, INFj). I find her very physically attractive but I can't seem to melt her the way I'm capable of with other girls, especially ExFx. I feel as if we have nothing in common and nothing to say to each other. When I do say something funny or use my dry humour she just seems to smile. I get no feed back. On this point I can see why the ENFj 'drama queen' is my dual. I have no idea if she actually likes me or if she's totally indifferent, I just get that half-smile. And this undermines my confidence so I increasingly say less funny things and I come across increasingly stiff and boring (the way people who don't know ISTjs very well can think). I feel if I met her for lunch or something like that we'd just be eating in silent, that the conversation wouldn't even carry us 5 minutes. I feel so frustrated because I do care for her but feel our personalities will keep us apart. Is there anything I can do to mitigate super ego relations? Or do i just simply have to bite the bullet and move on?
Bite it.
Lefty
ENFJ 4w5