Re: Fe vs Fi (once again)
Quote:
Originally Posted by XoX
Quote:
Introverted ethics on the group level
In groups with free circulation of introverted ethics, group members freely share their personal sentiments (personal likes and dislikes, personally meaningful experiences, etc.) and gravitate towards others who express similar sentiments. This results in the group frequently breaking up into small groups of 2-3 (more rarely 4) people that redissolve back into the greater group as soon as the small group discussion has taken its due course and reached a conclusion. Groups form and reform in different combinations again and again according to personal sentiment. People rarely laugh loudly, because that would unintentionally involve people from other small groups.
Extraverted ethics on the group level
In groups with free circulation of extraverted ethics, participants rarely share their personal sentiments, but focus instead on externally visible expression such as telling funny stories, making loud comments, and trying to say everything in an emotionally expressive and creative manner. There is usually just one large group that people can join and leave as they see fit, and the group has the tendency to grow ever larger and include more and more people in its orbit by moving tables together, sharing food and drinks, and directing [s:02cfe1cabc]group[/s:02cfe1cabc] personal attention at people hanging around the edges who might be feeling left out. Often these group sessions can last for hours and hours until the last diehards finally go to bed, thoroughly exhausted.
I hadn't wanted to respond because I don't like groups larger than 3 or 4 (unless I'm dancing).
When I go out dancing, it's usually just me and one friend. I've tried two other friends, but those don't work so well. Often when I've gone out dancing by myself or with a friend I wind up dragging up to the dance floor those people who are bouncing in their seats looking around for someone to ask them to dance, or those who look like they'd like to dance, that they came to have fun, but aren't comfortable asking people. Usually after I get them on the floor a few times, they've finally begun asking people (which could either say good things about me...or that they were trying to avoid me..hehehe). Sometimes I bring them into dancing with me and my friend, sometimes just me. I dont' care if they are male or female, we're just here to have fun. I've had a couple of bands deliberately invite me to some of their shows because of the fact that I usually wind up getting the people they had invited, but didn't have partners for, up there dancing. I've made a number of friends this way too. However, I can't do this if I'm not feeling good vibes from the band.
I love dancing and don't mind dancing by myself if I have to. :D
I'm just much more comfortable with one or two other people, if it's four then I feel forced to pair off and i don't like feeling forced into anything. Couples dating was never an interest of mine (me, my partner, and another couple). Richard doesn't mind hanging out like that, but I just feel..."when is this going to be over?" I don't like family gatherings. Richard's family is great, but I wind up just sitting there listening to everyone talk. I've taken to bringing a book or notebook for working on something. I don't want to be rude to them, but I don't particularly want to be there either.
When my mom comes out to visit, I have no choice but to share my time with her with her husband, my brother, and my daughter. I find myself feeling jealous because I don't get to spend any one on one time with her, meanwhile my brother has the freedom from an immediate family to spend more one on one time with her.
When my daughter and i go into town and see my brother, i usually feel torn because my daughter wants attention but my brother's pretty much isolated except for when he's hanging out with us on errands and such. (of course i'm also the one driving, having to make the decisions, and trying to make sure i get all my errands done) I like when she asks him a question and he turns to her and talks with her. I like to listen, and feel less stressed during those times.
When I imagined what it might be like if everyone here was at the london meeting that's coming up, i had images of the majority of people hanging out together in a big room while me and a few smaller groups were in a side or back room. Once in a while someone from the big room would come back, and sometimes someone from this smaller room would go up front. Even though these were smaller groups (about 3-4 people), I still felt uncomfortable and would often go on a walk or up to a balcony of some sort. There one person would come up and we'd chat a bit. Go back down. I'd go back up in a bit and someone else would show up. etc.
Oh, and it's often the case that when my brother is with us, and we are at a place to eat or such, that his voice will begin getting louder and louder and I'll make a signal moving my hand down to remind him to lower his voice. We've talked a bit about that. He says he kind of finds it annoying. He says he finds himself doing this and getting more and more animated the less I seem to be responding. He says it's like he can't read what I'm thinking or anything and is trying to get me to respond or respond "faster"...[insert some biological jargon here]. And that it seems that the more he does that, the less signals I show. (lol, it seems that i calm down even more to help him calm down when he's acting all "excited" and such...obviously it winds up doing the exact opposite)