An enigmatic acquiantance
She used to be in the same school as me. I didn't know her very well back then, but we talked to each other more often nowadays.
-Quiet and friendly. A private person who has few close friends, but wishes that she has more friends. She feels indignant about having to make the first move most of the time and thinks that it got to do with her looks.
-Very conscious of her appearance and likes to ask people for assurance.
-Loves to daydream and imagine becoming friends with people whom she admires in school to maintain a sense of closeness.
-Average student who dislikes school, but nevertheless study all the way to college 'cos she sees it as part of her general education.
-Extremely bad in sports. She has very bad hand-eye coordination skills and suck at ball games. As a result, she felt insecure during Physical Education classes and worry that how she will be judged. Like me, she couldn't draw too. :lol:
-She doesn't like to talk on the phone and prefers communicating through msn. She said that she is better organizing her sentences if she writes them down rather than presenting them verbally.
-She likes to write alot and is a relatively good writer. However, she usually doesn't do well in subjects like English Language or Literature.
-Her favorite quote and philosophy in life: "who am I to judge someone if I am not perfect myself?" (this has become my favorite quote too b'cos of her. :D )
-Whenever I complained about someone who is unfriendly to me, she would always say: "maybe he's just in a bad mood. I don't think he meant it personally."
-Used to be a victim of two ESTp and one ENTp bullies, who enjoyed talking behind her back and making subtle mocking remarks whenever she answered a question in class. She just brushed the remarks off for a long time, and the three EXTps decided to go a level higher by spreading malicious rumors about her. It went on for quite a while, until she couldn't take it anymore and had an emotional outburst in class while the teacher was teaching. She cried and approached the EXTps and just told them off right infront of everybody, and ran out of the class after saying what's on her mind. :shock:
-When I asked her why she didn't simply confront them in the first place and nip it at the bud before the matter got worst, she said that she had believed that they were mature enough to stop the unkind remarks and no matter what they said about her, she believed that they still treat her as a fellow classmate and will not do anything more cruel to subject her to distress.
-Despite her nice personality, she hasn't gone for any dates before and she is very bothered by it. She complained about how it reflects very badly on her and how others would think that she has a bad personality. She commented that she felt like a dork and thought that if she lacks dating experience, she will not know exactly what type of guy she likes. She feels that the main goal in life is to be loved by people. She even said that having no date is analogous to having no one liking or appreciating you, and it in turn makes life meaningless. :shock: I advised her that instead of waiting for a guy to ask her out, maybe she can try asking him out instead. She replied that it is pointless 'cos it makes her look desperate and she feels good about been approached. :lol:
-When she feels that someone has a bad first impression of her, she will avoid the person. To her, the first impression influences everything that has to come. No point wasting your time trying hard to make a good impression after that. As such, she became avoidant in anything she *thinks* will turn out bad. :8* To her, trying to experience something that might turn out bad is like going to a singing competition unprepared. :lol:
-She told me before that it is important to visualize the worst case scenario 'cos things will not turn out as bad as what we thought.
I guess that's all for now. I have thought of her as IXFx, probably ISFp, INFp or INFj.
Re: An enigmatic acquiantance
(On a side note, I shall learn to write more concise summaries in future so that more people can reply. :lol: )
@ Expat: I'm interested to know what makes you think that she's an INFp. :)
What had made me thought that she was an INFj was probably her relationship with the three EXTps. I find it hard to visualize her to be a bully victim of her duals (perhaps Aggressor-Victim relations gone bad? :? ). I'd have thought that they are more likely conflictors as the EXTps seem to find fault in her to make fun about. She also appeared to adopt an avoidant approach to problems and she seems hopeful about the goodness of mankind (eg. believing the EXTps will stop their nonsense because she feels that they still have a conscience, rather than just resigning to the fact that they are mean and nasty people), similar to what I have observed in INFjs
Quote:
Originally Posted by eunice
Her favorite quote and philosophy in life: "who am I to judge someone if I am not perfect myself?" (this has become my favorite quote too b'cos of her. :D )
I'd have expected someone with a dominant :Fi: to live by this philosophy (at least I do).
That's just my POV. I welcome any opinions. :)
Quote:
Originally Posted by 1981slater
how can an ENTp be a bully? Please explain
He did it in a more indirect way as compared to the ESTps. He avoided all communications with her even to the extent of ignoring her whenever she talked to him even though they were group members for a school project once. He would also make fun of her behind her back by sharing (embellished) anecdotes about the "embarrassing" things she had done. From what I remember, she didn't do anything that offended him. One of the ESTps had picked on her because he didn't like her (for no apparent reason) and been a good friend, the ENTp decided to join in the "fun" of making her life miserable. :8*
Talking about school bullies, they seem to be, no offense here, usually ESTps and ENTjs (probably due to their :Se: HA). Just a little digression here. :P
Re: An enigmatic acquiantance
Doesn't sound very IEI to me. Dunno. The INFps I know would react differently when being bullied.
Quote:
Originally Posted by eunice
Quote:
Originally Posted by 1981slater
how can an ENTp be a bully? Please explain
He did it in a more indirect way as compared to the ESTps. He avoided all communications with her even to the extent of ignoring her whenever she talked to him even though they were group members for a school project once. He would also make fun of her behind her back by sharing (embellished) anecdotes about the "embarrassing" things she had done. From what I remember, she didn't do anything that offended him. One of the ESTps had picked on her because he didn't like her (for no apparent reason) and been a good friend, the ENTp decided to join in the "fun" of making her life miserable. :8*
Talking about school bullies, they seem to be, no offense here, usually ESTps and ENTjs (probably due to their :Se: HA). Just a little digression here. :P
Firstly, why can't ENTp be bullies.. :8* Any type has a possibility of appearing as a bully to someone else.
The school bullies I know are mostly ESTps, ENFjs, ESFjs.
Re: An enigmatic acquiantance
Quote:
Originally Posted by eunice
-Quiet and friendly. A private person who has few close friends, but wishes that she has more friends. She feels indignant about having to make the first move most of the time and thinks that it got to do with her looks.
-Very conscious of her appearance and likes to ask people for assurance.
-Loves to daydream and imagine becoming friends with people whom she admires in school to maintain a sense of closeness.
-Average student who dislikes school, but nevertheless study all the way to college 'cos she sees it as part of her general education.
-She doesn't like to talk on the phone and prefers communicating through msn. She said that she is better organizing her sentences if she writes them down rather than presenting them verbally.
-She likes to write alot and is a relatively good writer. However, she usually doesn't do well in subjects like English Language or Literature.
-When she feels that someone has a bad first impression of her, she will avoid the person. To her, the first impression influences everything that has to come. No point wasting your time trying hard to make a good impression after that. As such, she became avoidant in anything she *thinks* will turn out bad. :8* To her, trying to experience something that might turn out bad is like going to a singing competition unprepared. :lol:
-She told me before that it is important to visualize the worst case scenario 'cos things will not turn out as bad as what we thought.
I very strongly relate to all those points and I'm a male INFp, so I'm going to claim INFp too. I have an INFj friend and I think she'd remark similar characteristics/quirks about me whereas I don't think they'd so much apply to her. For example, she's very perfectionistic, especially in school. I'm an average student cause I do the bare minimum to get by, I like leisure time. To her the bare minimum is an A average, anything below that is failure.
Also in high school I think it might be more common for ESTps to pick on INFps than most would think. However, one should be careful before judging these situations as "malicious" in nature. For example, I worked with one guy I remember who would tease me about my weird habits and at first I interpreted it as insults on my personal character. However, then one day I remember some other person was giving me trouble and the ESTp came up to me and directly asked me if I wanted him to kick that guy's ass. From that moment on I saw the whole time he was just teasing me in a friendly manner to find out more about me or something but he also thought highly enough of me that he would look out for me if someone was to fuck with me. Thus maybe the ESTp that was teasing that girl just wanted some attention? He probably didn't realize he was hurting her and probably felt quite hurt himself when she exploded (I'm quite self-absorbed, paranoid, in many situations myself)