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Originally Posted by
UDP
- I got out several enneagram books, most notably some Riso ones, and it became clear that I was not a 1. The "red flag" (I believe that was it) warnings in the book were notable because it showed how 1s, when really unhealthy, keep believing in outrageously high standards, while telling themselves excuses and letting themselves slide. That was foreign to me, because when I am really in a bad way, the last thing that comes to mind are trying to find explanations for why I am still "acting good", despite what I do, and how I am still "better than others".
a) the levels of health should be taken with a pinch of salt. They're not the be all and end all of one's Enneagram type. The core motivations and in-depth behavioural study is far more important than a few brief sentences on each 'level of health'.
b) just because you don't identify with an aspect of an unhealthy One doesn't mean you're not a One. Look at this:
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Originally Posted by R&H
The realisation that they have created powerful enemies who are capable of defeating them is too much for unhealthy Eights. They try to destroy everything rather than let anyone triumph over them or control them. They can go on rampages, remorselessly ruining everything in their path, possibly murdering others in the process
When I'm in a 'bad way', I don't act like that, therefore I can't be an Eight.
Bullshit. Try again.
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E8 made much more sense, because, when i am down and out, all my relationships come into question. I become uncertain, and wary of what is going on, and I will act in ways that sometimes are too direct or controlling, even when motivated by fear or insecurity, so as to not be controlled or manipulated by others, especially people who I might be emotionally connected or sensitive too. So the regressions are much different.
This sounds like you've directly quoted R&H or something. I don't think relationships coming into question is particularly characteristic of the Eight. Indeed, if you're on good terms with the someone and you're an Eight, the chances are you will never call your relationships into question, because you have already let this person into your life. You've let them come to you. You've given them your trust. What you speak of here is far more characteristic of a counterphobic Six than of an Eight.
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Also, the general nature of their growth. Growing into 2 makes a lot, lot of sense.
Please elaborate.
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I can be quite conceited, unfortunately.
You don't say. Threes are best at this, with 2w3s coming close.
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There were also other factors from the book but that comes closest to the top of my mind.
Let me know if you find any that are remotely revelatory.
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Also, how I interpret my role in organizations. It is extremely displeasing for me to be in a lower position [...]
Why?
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the most uncomfortable thing is when I am denied access to information in what is going on. I cannot stand that.
I don't think anyone likes that, to be honest.
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I will not take some lower subordinate position and hold it there for very long if there is no upward progress (provided I really want to be involved in the place).
This is called ambition. Ones, Twos, Threes, Fours, Fives, Sixes, Sevens and Eights have ambition, UDP.
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I will never much accept, as one individual said, that "it is none of my business" to know certain things about the organization - this was said to me when I am on the Eboard itself.
Then you won't get far in the corporate world.
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I don't really care what position I am in, I just want to know what is going on, and if I am not pleased with how much I know, and how comfortable in terms I feel about how much power and information I have, then I am not going to stick around, or put up with a that situation.
Why not? Any Eight would realise that they have to work to get to the top. They start as a grunt, and they become a Field Marshal. You have to be a shelve stacker before you can become CEO. If you're quitting before you've even begun, you're just giving up. No Eight gives up like that.
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When I really get angry I just tend to "go for the kill".
Explain what you mean by this.
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I try to prevent that as much as possible, as I prefer to be more calm and level (8w9, not 8w7).... 8w9 sp/sx/so, for the record.
8w9s do not 'prefer' to be more calm and level; they just are. Your anger is blatently not like that of an 8w9. 8w9s are calm and grounded, then their anger slowly rises, they explode, and then it goes. They don't keep a tight reign on it, as you have explained you do. That is how a One's anger operates. Eights are never ashamed to express their anger or disgust; it is part of their character.
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Seeing an E1 get angry, and how they actually called me "evil" or "bad", well, I did not much relate to that.
I would love to see that on camera. It would provide me with great amusement.
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I tend to just destroy or take whatever shots I can, I don't really put effort into trying to make myself seem ethically superior, or more perfect.
HAH!
Seriously, I advise you to start analysing your forum behaviour, and then come back to me.
This is what people say when they've run out of arguments. If you have any more, share them; if not, concede. You've lost this battle, whether or not you like it.
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PS: and things like this, too
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Originally Posted by UDP
Quote which irrefutably backs up UDP's claim that he is an 8w9
(from "another sort of rant" thread)
So what. What human wants to be left in ignorance about something? Who wants to be excluded from the joke; the gossip; the latest news? No one likes this, UDP.