EIIs-IEEs and heightened interpersonal sensitivity towards everyone
Hello people, I met a new person from work a couple of months ago, and I am 99.99% sure he is INFj. He constantly sais to people, "whats wrong", "are you ok", "your a bit quiet", "why arn't you taking to me". I have had that a bit personally every now and again being ISTp of course, but he sais it to everyone, quiet a lot. It's funny because to me it always seems like everyone is ok and happy, can he see something I can't? Is this something other INFj's do sometimes?
Re: INFj and "whats wrong with everyone"
Quote:
Originally Posted by flower
Hello people, I met a new person from work a couple of months ago, and I am 99.99% sure he is INFj. He constantly sais to people, "whats wrong", "are you ok", "your a bit quiet", "why arn't you taking to me". I have had that a bit personally every now and again being ISTp of course, but he sais it to everyone, quiet a lot. It's funny because to me it always seems like everyone is ok and happy, can he see something I can't? Is this something other INFj's do sometimes?
Funny enough, I have found myself behaving like this at times...
Sounds to me that he could be a bit nervous and uncertain with regard to how others relate to him. Kind of desperately trying to be nice to everyone and fitting in - and going rather overboard... INFJs are typically afraid of boring people with long rants, etc. As an INFj I like talking to people, but would usually prefer the other person to keep the discussion going, so he is probably just trying to get others to do the talking.
You could try to tell him that you are fine, but he does not need to worry about it. Not the easiest thing to do for an ISTP, of course.
Re: INFj and "whats wrong with everyone"
Quote:
Originally Posted by flower
Hello people, I met a new person from work a couple of months ago, and I am 99.99% sure he is INFj. He constantly sais to people, "whats wrong", "are you ok", "your a bit quiet", "why arn't you taking to me". I have had that a bit personally every now and again being ISTp of course, but he sais it to everyone, quiet a lot. It's funny because to me it always seems like everyone is ok and happy, can he see something I can't? Is this something other INFj's do sometimes?
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Umm... I don't really make a habit of it. Usually when I do ask those types of questions, it's not really to gain more information but to make them feel better. I can already tell they're feeling bad, and I can usually figure out whether or not it's directed at me. I guess maybe I do it more than some people, but not all the time.
Baby's Romantic Attitudes
Quote:
Originally Posted by flower
Thanks for the replies :)
Maybe he is a little nervous and overly keen for people to like him, although he does seem quite confident and strong minded. He has strong ideas and opinions about things, a lot of passion comes through when he talks about things he likes. A couple of you say it sounds like :Fe:, he really feels like INFj but I have to agree, it does sound like :Fe:, importantly though, when he says these things it dosent seem like he is saying it out of genuine concern, as in he really thinks something is wrong, more like a way of raising the energy level of the people around and making people more outwardly cheerfull, or as a conversation starter, its more passive instead of being a more direct "whats wrong". Thinking about it though, other people dont seem to be too bothered by it or dont notice it like I do, it of course annoys the hell out of me :lol:. He is a nice person though, it probably feels worse to me than it does to other people.
I do not see anything that would contradict INFJ either. Often times people react negatively to displays of introverted feeling, and since males are generally expected to take a somewhat active role socially, this kind of "pseudo-caregiver" attitude may be a natural development. How people behave depends on many factors, type being just one of them. As a rule of thumb, INFJs would, though, like to have someone to take care of them and be concerned about their wellbeing, and would therefore instinctively tend to presume that deep down others have similar needs as well. Thus, for example, this old post by Baby/Scrummy seems quite insightful to me:
Pseudo-Caregivers/Students: ENFp, INFj
These are types who exhibit paternal/maternal tendencies towards others in their everyday lives and may thus carry over these notions and temperaments into their romantic life. These types habitually attempt to give their partner what he/she "needs" (or what they believe they need). As a result, they may become drained by lack of attendence to their own needs and desires. In a partner, they are searching for a combination of strength and gentleness.
http://the16types.no-ip.info/forums/...?p=81809#81809