Ni egos vs Se in close relationship
Or whatever it is...I noticed all my "close" or at least "close-ish" relationships have been with Ni egos (other than ESIs, they are the only other type). Both Beta and Gamma Ni.
And so when I've known the Ni ego long enough and we got into some track or routine I don't know bc I see this pretty vaguely, and then one day I make a sudden change and I want to ask for something bigger, then there's always this problem, like they try to get around it and won't even discuss but they prefer to try and disappear.
Now I know from my readings of Socionics articles that that's a pattern for such people. Kinda fight the assertiveness and demands and even some aggression with passivity and distancing and disappearing. "Avoid collision with the problematic object" or whatever, lol. Plain avoiding the demand too. Or sometimes outright passive aggression but they like to deny that, more lol...
I mean these conflicts did eventually come to an end one way or the other. Usually it required me upping the anger and aggression or taking enough direct action to the point where they just had to respond, or literally physically couldn't avoid me, and then we got into the discussion & into the conflict properly.
I want to know though from the Ni egos here about how it really works for them.... Is there anything else that works in these cases? Like anything that works faster? Bc I sometimes do have enough of this, lol. Esp don't want it in the truly "close" relationships.
I've also heard it from more than one Ni type that they feel so stressed or overloaded etc etc and to me it always feels like an excuse bc like how can you be so stressed over such a small thing??? To me it's small, lol. The ESIs don't ever make that excuse for sure. Se rocks right?.....
So anyway. Yeah. Is this a real concern for them or it's just an attempt at bullshitting?
Ni egos vs Se in close relationship
Quote:
Originally Posted by
BandD
As for somebody being assertive and enforcing their will upon me it kinda depends. Are they really taking *me* along with their journey or am I supposed to be this complete sycophant to their narcissism? Despite being passive and shy- I also am quite willful myself and won't really put up with somebody treating me this way. I know I have a big heart and can be a good listener and morph myself into a faux-EII or faux-SEI when need be - but I also refused to be "used" because of this. Being a one-way emotional tampon sucks lol. Either we're both the tampons or we're both something else but I am not going to put up with something like that.
((not saying that you yourself are doing that but that is one of the situations where I'd act that way.))
This is unrelated but how do you feel about Se-like places and activities like Vegas and skydiving? I have friends who are IEIs and they like the idea of doing “adventurous” things but when we go on some rollercoaster, they literally piss their pants. If I suggest we go on a road trip to some weird, remote place; they’ve also liked the idea but then talk about spirits (they know I don’t believe in spirits and supernatural stuff) to avoid going there. I’ve taken them on some impromptu trips but then they have panic attacks in the middle of the night and slam doors. I’m much closer to Si friends but they freak out if we don’t have a “plan” and my “plan” is basically we do stuff once we land at the destination. At this point, I’m looking for new traveling partners. Quarantine has been extremely boring and I want to do more traveling but all my friends have gotten on my last damn nerve. I don’t know of any ILIs irl... so I wonder if they get out much?
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