I'm looking for data from you guys. If this question seems too vague, know that I would appreciate any answer (whatever is your interpretation of this question) given that it is endowed with reason and seriousness.
Printable View
I'm looking for data from you guys. If this question seems too vague, know that I would appreciate any answer (whatever is your interpretation of this question) given that it is endowed with reason and seriousness.
None. All my duals have issues.
-overweight and a pushover
-deplorable self-esteem and no objectives
-passive-aggressive and unproductive
-poor time management and likes bathroom humor
-talks too slowly and usually busy
-loves anime and has misconceptions about sex
Though actually, these are all male EIIs I've considered so far. I know an older EII woman (married to an LSE man) who is about as perfect as they come.
those sound more like IEI, @Director Abbie (except the first one, that one could be, but I also know an IEI like that).
Anyway, op who is "perfect"? And who said that duality is about perfection?
I know at least 18 ESI's fairly well; seven are female, three I've gone out with, two I'd sleep with, one is perfect enough and she doesn't see me as a suitable partner.
1, if he's even my dual
Nobody's perfect, I gotta work it. Again and again till I get it right.
Nobody's perfect, you live and you learn it. And if I mess it up sometimes... nobody's perfect.
lol:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t93u0qg5q_M
Lol, because I listed all their worst traits? How about this list?
-Easygoing, steady, and friendly
-Sweet, loving, and horrified by violence
-Imaginative and musically creative
-Calm, understanding, witty, and thoughtful
-Gentlemanly, kind, lighthearted, and studious
-Idealizes family life
It might be a case of gamodualurano.
Being imperfect is a good reason to retype people ;)
the same as perfect people
@Marep Either you're thinking my post listing the negative qualities of EIIs I've known is an insult to the entire sociotype and are responding likewise, or you really hate LSEs and are thus probably not their dual.
Fi wouldn't send an Fi-seeker to a mental institution. Ni might send an Ni-PoLR there. But Fi would be more likely to keep an LSE from being instituted.
marep knows
Director Abbie is so sexy ^_^ but from what I hear she doesn't like anime. which I've grown out of anyway, but whatever :( I love caregivers. they're so friendly and warm inside
Abbie needs to reconsider her type.
Calling her duals pushovers and seeing some EII behaviorial characteristics as issues is just enough proof.
I'm an ardent lover/admirer of artists, especially performance and visual artists, and so I've always frequented and participated in those spaces, which IME tend to overflow with my "perfect" or most idealized romantic dual > ESI-Se (4w3 sp/sx). There's no feeling in this world like being consistently driven to contemplate a murder-suicide...a beautiful, dramatic, poetic one, tho. lol For platonic friendships, 9w8 sp/sx types tend to fit me most ideally because they don't bring the e4 drama, are more balanced/even keeled and are the best at pulling me back from the edge, and forcefully if need be. Overall, I encounter this type of ESI-Se more often in the wild.
:8*
This thread isn't about either of us.
Here's my type-me thread if you want to press the issue.
https://www.the16types.info/vbulleti...fter-Two-Years
I don't even know my own type, but of those I thought I was, none of the dual types seem like people I'd want to spend prolonged time around.
My idealized dual is a sunny and jovial, yet spicy and passionate creature. Her touch radiates sensual warmth. She is not pedantic, skittish or materialistic, nor does she smoke or eat onions. Oh, and big tits would be good too.
However I know that if you seek perfection, happiness in life will remain elusive. People are just too complicated and bound to surprise you.
I'd say they were all perfect in their own way; even those I did'nt like. They all have a few things I think they should work on but so does everybody. :shrug:
I "hate" anime fans more so than animes, granted they're 14+ : )
btw once I dated a guy who had naruto tattoo on his leg..
Two so far. It's kind of interesting that both showed up at a certain crux, so maybe there is something to this duality thing.
both lists seem like a IEI portrait to me.The thing with IEIs is that they look like EIIs at first...then just bam! They got your credit card (and they know your pin already). And if you dare to say something about it you just need to be prepared for the subsequent drama which will last at least 2 seasons. Its really offensive that you are so selfish after all the genuine niceness the IEI showed you.
edit. https://www.the16types.info/vbulleti...91#post1346691
lol
Criticizing the EIIs you met for not being productive and ambitious, also calling them pushovers... it's obvious you value SE.
Also, I talk slowly, and I never met other EIIs that didn't, it's just our functional order, which makes us think deeply and carefully before spilling words.
Exactly zero, all of them that I have met have had sociopathic and narcissistic features. Most of them are impulsive, irrational, sadistic and extremely arrogant people. Then maybe, they aren't my duals.
Duality certainly isn't any assurance of perfection. These relationships have the highest probability that partners can agree on a common direction in life and not interfere with one another while moving along that path even though they most certainly will disagree about what needs to be done - unless one is a total wimp. Duality points to statistical probably more than idealism similar to the chances that two horses will make a great team if hitched to the same wagon. Perfection seems to be something that many young types seek or advertise in this era of less-than-truthful social profiles but as age creeps up, many people would be content if they and their partners simply could tolerate each other's idiosyncrasies and not pee in each other's soup. In reality, people can never make their partners happy; that's their partner's responsibility; the best that people can do is not stand in the way of their partner's happiness.....:content:
a.k.a. I/O
I've met 2 duals that I know of...I dunno what constitutes "perfection" but, uh, they aren't that, but they're ok.
One of them is my bfs dad and he talks a ton, so I guess that's a "flaw" even if it doesn't bother me.
The other is a coworker who kind of avoids me for some reason which is maybe a sign of some kind but I'm ok with it since I hate small talk. He takes time at the end of staff meetings to give everyone financial and tax advice and if that isn't LIE and adorable, good grief.
Yesterday I called the ESI-Se e6 that I dated once last summer and asked her for some advice on trimming shrubs. The one who likes SLI's and says I talk too much, but I should walk with her so she can listen to me. She reminded me that she still has the key to my garage (she wanted to borrow my lawn mower and I'm never home), but she didn't want to have to listen to me talk all the time, so when could she return it when I wasn't there? I told her to put it in an envelope and just drop it off in the mailbox. :(
She put it in a JuicyFruit box, which I thought was fairly whimsical and artistic. Very ESI-Se e6.
https://i.imgur.com/C01eaes.jpg
Lol, from a removed distance I can admire the honesty, but I wonder how rude she is altogether. Depending on my relationship to the person, I would make up a reason, but that has its own problems..(its harder to trust ppl who make shit up, even for good reasons.)
If it was someone I was so close to that I would be placed in a position to respond for an hour or more a day, I'd feel differently, but sometimes people talk to talk, I dunno how you are. (Personally, I get crabby when people don't discernably respond to me and will be like what's the problem? I have chatty quarter hours here and there, but don't talk much, though.)
She reminds me a LOT of a male ESI-Se e6 friend of mine. He is brutally direct (he answers the phone with "What do you want?"), and he doesn't talk very much. We've known each other for almost thirty years and he stays remote when I suggest we get together, but if we bump into each other somewhere, he'll talk about it to mutual friends for days. "Hey, I was talking to Adam the other day. That guy is never around."
I've had two really close ESI male friends. He's one of them, and an ESI e9 is the other. I used to go over to the ESI e9's house every day after school and we'd talk about telescopes and astronomy for an hour or two. The ESI e6 is more active and abrupt, but the ESI e9 seemed to tolerate me better. Neither of these guys talked a lot. After spending an hour or two with the ESI e6, he's like, "OK, I've had enough. You have to leave now." Lol.
I've been thinking a lot about this recently. The ESI artist that I'm infatuated with is an e6w7 and I struggle to get as much of her as I want, just because she's always got some other place to be. All the fucking time.
I found this enneagram site that has a chart showing who marries whom.
https://www.9types.com/writeup/ennea...ationships.php
Apparently, male e8's marry female e2's and e6's, while female e8's marry male e9's and e4's. I suspect that the male E8's marrying female e2's are LSE's marrying EII's, and the female e8's marrying e4's are SLE's marrying male IEI's, but the chart doesn't break that down. Instead, female e6's marry male e3's and e8's, which is probably ESI's marrying LIE's, and female e9's marry male e6's and male e3's, which is also probably ESI e9's marrying LIE e3's and ESI e9's marrying other ESI e6's. But it's impossible to know for sure.
I don't know. Like DarkAngelFireWolf69 says: eccentric people like eccentric and normal people like normal people while the strongest ones like to conqueror passive ones. Each type has its own eccentrics, normals, strong ones and passives. This one is not supposed to be the best and potentially fools you.
I have seen pretty cool duals but again it is not probably the perfect.
They might not be EII-specific. But neither are they IEI-specific. The issues with my duals are not type-related so much as human-related.
Two of them are forumites. Two of them I haven't interacted with since I was in high school. One is a violinist at my church who is probably in his 50s, teaches at the middle school, and has been working on his PHd. One is a close friend.
I would relate this "horrified by violence" to Se-PoLR, though I know it's not true of all Se-PoLRs. I would relate this imaginativity to Ne, as it's the kind that spews out ideas but sees few through. I would relate this understanding to Fi, as it's not a sympathetic understanding but a clarity in a subject I can be muddled in.
Ye're a hard woman, Abbie, me girl. Tougher than most men. You need a man who understands you and will stand by you, not one who will compete with you.
And keep in mind, EII's can be hard in their own way. They can be accommodating, but I wouldn't call them pushovers by any means. In fact, one of the most unmovable guys I ever met was EII.
making a list about the traits we don't like in our duals is a sign that they're not our duals, yet insulting our duals with another list is a sign they're really duals, how does that even make sense.. :8*
whilesounds like nothing short of Se.Quote:
Don't you dare to approach me or I'm going to Fi you all the way to a mental institution.
Oh yes, I've observed that in my SEI E9 brother. I could get him to do things more easily than anyone else in the family. But my requests were always reasonable. "Wash these pans so I can make dinner for you." rather than, "Throw away these wrappers you're collecting because it's a mess."
I stole his keyring decoration right in front of his face. I still have it.
Also I think an LIE typing is particularly silly as I always score highest in Si on tests.
B&D can vouch for my lack of Ni.
Though I do see how Tozo would see me as a non-caregiver as I behave more coldly to people who I see as overly sexual. (Sexuality is a huge turn-off.)
He seems to have mellowed out since I've been gone though.
The EII you called a pushover is a guy with Se porl. Now since all EIIs are Se polr, that make them pushovers too.
It's really not that complicated. Being ambitious means usage of Se, which you value, but EIIs find it really tiring in order to live up to your expectations. No one likes to alienate his nature to please the supposedly soulmate, even less if the soulmate happens to be a caregiver type, which you're not.
Capiche?
Also, do you really expect your dual to be perfect? No one is perfect. You really need to mature a bit.
why are you obsessed about what "others" think, why don't you care about your own
i dont care being called a pushover by someone i don't know, and if that's not the case. she was making a list of specific people's flaws anyway, so totally unrelated to how you got salty about it.
my dual is lazy as fuck and basically shrek
;-; why have you stolen a keyring Abbie, what happened
I believe I was in high school at the time. We were hanging out at the library. He showed me the little Eiffel tower on his keyring. I admired it then took it off. He didn't react. I think I put it in my backpack and he still didn't react. We kept chatting.
Years later, I mentioned I still had it and he was like, "Oh, yeah."
It's on my dresser now.
aww that's so cute! maybe he thought you were his dual also? :D err then again, thinking about yielding vs. obstinate types.. maybe he's just not what you are. in which case, maybe you're not duals after all? :(
I have a pretty smooth friendship with a dual, there's only been one time we had a bump in the road and it's because he was giving me some hard advice that I needed to hear. The only other ruffles is that since we are both the same age I do feel like the caregiving can feel condescending but I don't notice any of this being intentional on his part and is more my own feelings and pride. Other than that he's easy to get along with and usually enthusiastic to talk to me, it's sort of one sided in that he does alot more for me than I do him.
I have 2 LSE pastors, I get along with one a little more than the other, we got along from day one, it's all jokes and reminiscing mixed in with deep discussion, I like the thin line between fun and serious and how we're able to jump inbetween the two. There was one time where we were watching a video presentation, the video started talking about heroes, person after person on the video talked about who their hero was, and then pastor grabs me and shakes me a little and kinda joking says "You're my hero." I just laughed knowing he was joking, but we have a especially good friendship and I felt like he wanted me to actually acknowledge him as my hero, and I kinda felt like saying it to him but I just stood there with my arms crossed unconsciously protecting my own heart I guess, feeling like if I said it and I was serious I would look idk...corny or something, and it got silent after that and I looked over at him and he had his arms crossed and he looked like he was also unconsciously protecting his heart too. If that's true or not, either way I felt bad for not saying "Pastor actually you're my hero." even as a joke.
LSE co-worker I know, very attracted to her, we got along quickly, she also had the same ability to be able to jump between play and work. She got snatched up by what I think is an IEE, she is very comfortable to be around and that is pretty rare for me with women I am attracted to. Every now and then I am reminded that she is a "tough cookie". If she was single and not as high in demand I think it would work out.
I met an LSE in college who on the first meeting we got along well. The whole friendship started because I was an artist and he was getting people together for a programming project, he liked my stuff and felt I was good enough to help out his team and I felt flattered that the leader of the team was reaching out to me.
But later in the friendship I found that he lacks the ability to take turns in conversation and just seizes the moment to monologue to anyone willing to listen. I felt like he was missing the idea that this isn't fun for people, because it seemed like he honestly did not know. Also we got into it a little on a group project he was leading, the power got to his head and he spoke to me in a condescending tone pushing me to confront him in front of everybody which made him get defensive since it wasn't in private, even though he wasn't in the right. Later he apologized but it felt like he did it just to regain control and he rubbed me on the head as he did it making it feel even more condescending. From me being impressed to how charismatic, outgoing and confident this guy seemed at first, it slowly declined into me wanting to be around him less because of his inflated ego and monologues.
A LSE college professor of mine provoked me almost the same as a cartoon highschool bully would, and he was about 60. I was so shocked by his weird and unprofessional behavior that I decided to actually respond to his provoking, and he seemed pretty shocked, all the "control" he thought he had went out the window for a brief second and he was scraping to get it back, but I felt so mistreated that something had to be said. After the little "altercation" I decided to apologize the next day because he would be my professor next quarter and I didn't want him to have any extra reason to fail me lol. Later he just stared at me in shock everytime we walked past each other in the hall way.
I'm not usually a confrontational person, actually never am one, but with LSE it's like when they do something wrong it seems so obviously wrong that it's like a reflex to point out the obvious. With other types issues like that can be more ambiguous or their reaction to it being pointed out can seem unpredictable. I guess LSE seems like they can be more reasoned with.
none.
people are people, no matter how much you love them and how much you appreciate their soul (romantic or otherwise.)
Maybe 2 male ones out of many have been physically hot to me, and out of those 1 close-to-perfect male one. These guys actually had a bite to them and would immediately compliment and chase me back a bit instead of having me do EVERYTHING always...omfg.
It seems unnecessarily/un-neutrally objectively dark and dismal to me to think of people as either perfect or imperfect though so whatever.
Haha wow. I never heard that before. I'm not interested in arguing, but why do you say that? Or are you just fucking with her?Quote:
BnD is ESI, so maybe a little but not really.
I do feel like @ashlesha is my soul sister in ways. <3 but I don't see how I'm Fi/Te valuing at all.
I really like the bitter ESI villain on that Once upon a Time episode (Lady Tremaine- the one in the sixth season not the shitty 7th one), but that felt like typical benefactor/beneficiary relations.
ESI bad guys are probably my favorite. I love their emotional turmoil and how they hurt others but then always feel like they are in the right because of it, it's interesting to me.
I can "make it work" with most duals. The ones I really consider special in the way that duality is supposed to be are...a much smaller fraction. If we're talking romantically then there are other factors that go into perfection. And to be honest, I don't find duality to even be the best relationship for friendship, not for me at least.
I have several LSE female friends who I connect really well with. One of my best friends is an LSE female. My interactions with LSE men have felt quite different. I've only interacted with two self-identified LSE males for some length of time. With one, I seem to be able to joke around with him, but it's impossible to build any trust or have a sincere conversation with him undercutting the conversation with some inappropriate or poorly timed sexual comments/potty humour. I don't have the same problem with the other LSE guy I know, but it's still difficult to close the distance with him and discuss more personal topics all the same. Comparatively, I find SLIs and LIEs a bit easier to connect with.
@a good egg, this is very interesting. I assume you are an EII female.
Are you sure you've typed those male LSE's correctly? I've known two female LSE's all my life (mother and sister) and several male LSE's for many years, and I've never once heard them make an off-color sexual comment. Or any sexual comment at all, for that matter. Those are more along the lines of what LIE's do all the time.
Having said that, I know a female EII, and I (an LIE) get along with her incredibly well. I think she'd like to date seriously instead of just having lunch, but I see some potential problems with Semi-duality. (We can plan together incredibly well, but unlike Duals, she and I can't spur each other to actually accomplish anything, and then there's the Infantile-Victim thing. :( ) I've tried to get her to look for male LSE's, but she told me that she doesn't trust them at all. And in one case, her suspicions were actually warranted. She warned me that an LSE shouldn't be trusted, and she was right.
I told her that she should look for LSE's in hardware stores, but she replied that she's afraid she'd meet SLE's there, and do I want to go out to lunch today? And then she turned away from me, bent at the waist, and put some packages on the floor.
I think she is stuck on something that looks good and easy (me), rather than what is long-term best for her (LSE's). Or maybe she just hasn't met the right LSE. Because LSE's can be really great, upstanding guys if you don't expect much in the way of them expressing feelings or having great intuition. I mean, that's the kind of opposite-talent thing you get in a dual.
These two male LSEs I am thinking of are self-ID and the interaction is online. I'm by no means an expert on typing. The fact that the interaction is online might have something to do with it. Some are less attentive to social cues and are more disinhibited online. The pattern of behaviour I'm talking about is more akin to shitposting. I don't mind shitposting in itself and can play along. The frustration occurs when I try to initiate a more serious or sincere conversation about a topic, and then he defaults to shitposting as a kind of evasion. It may not be type related. I've never had these issues with my LSE female friends.
The hardware store thing is funny. Men are very helpful in hardware stores, but I don't know if they are all or predominantly LSEs. It's nice to receive help and attention nonetheless.
The LSE description sounds attractive to me. I just don't know where you meet these elusive people, and I am already not particularly talented at meeting new people.
:shifty:
This act of defaulting to what you call shit posting is exactly what I did to ashlesha when I first started posting on this forum, except in my case, it took the form of being non-serious and teasing her, rather than addressing her directly. I think this is a bad sign in a person in general, but it might be a common defense by Te-doms against dealing with their feelings, which we are very, very unconfident about.
Probably the only antidote to this is to let the Te-dom have some experience with Fi-doms, so the Fi-doms don't look so much like a bag full of hand grenades and guns with their safeties off, with a frantic wolverine in there just to keep things interesting.
After a Te-dom gets some experience with an Fi-dom, the Te-dom can lose a lot of their fear and behave in a more normal manner. BUT, this might take years, depending on the person.
You can find LSE's in any kind of middle management, engineering-related job. You can also find them fooling around in their hobby boats or with their hobby motorcycles. Anything which relates to machinery or tools.
To meet them, just show an interest in their boat or bike (not in them, not in them, that will scare them off), and act helpless but interested. That is honey to the bees. It also helps if you inject the word "respect" into your conversation. All LSE's crave respect, the same way that SLI's crave "appreciation". Aside from that, just be yourself.
SLE women are actually men and IEI men are actually women
The reason I know duality is a meme is because the personality "types" compatible with me, especially in girls, are far rarer than any type, period. I have no doubts to the nature of the compatibility because I can smell the initial critical cues like a shark to blood in the sea, without even having a context of what to look for, and yet it's only appeared in front of me on about one or liberally two occasions.
Screw duality. Everything else about Socionics is arcane and edgy and cool, but Duality will swallow you if you don't renounce it.
Finding The One is that exclusive area of life that's so important, you have to do what works for you, not trust and offload it to another formula that a totally different mind created.
One.
So for me I think the number is One in the sense that it was a successful yet short lived (a handful of years) romance that changed me forever and is one the crowing jewels of my time on Earth.
But who knows if it was a dual or not it could have just been a really amazing exp that was ongoing for a number of seasons. The issues outside of socionics came up: different goals, different age and stages, life beckoned. It was magic though, while it lasted. I made a sacrifice by leaving and I don't regret that choice. Its just sad, but that's the way it is. ending on the high note is a fucking painful trip and took me almost 5 years to wrap it up and 'move on' as they say.
I'm not sold on dual being the best partnership. I actually think it makes people quite weak in their problem areas over the long term.
Now I see dual information and its easy to recognize when it happens so I agree with the socionics statement that says once you've exp duals its easy to see in the future.
I can't stress enough that people need the same goals and they need to be in the similar age brackets and also somewhat the same values. But not all the same values because that's what makes it fun. Nothing wrong with a bit of drama.
I think its because in our world men are persuaded from a very young age to at the bare minimum be competent providers and producers. In today's world it is unacceptable to be a drifter type male..? you know what I mean?
A girl has it a lot easier in this regard as society will support her as long as she plays her female cards. A male needing to be provided for (weak sensing, weak Te) means they have these conflicting messages: on one hand they have what is unconsciously expected of them: get a job, have a talent, work to produce or support yourself, ect... and on the other hand they have these other skills to navigate the world, yet they are consider "soft skills" ie: empathy, analysis of timescales, yet removed from pragmatic ventures (low Te).
So these two forces come up. In reality it looks like this: your girlfriend is going to do that for you? How old are you now? And its doubling troubling as they are not infantiles so there is this doubled drama that asks that they should be competent and 'the man', yet lack the four dimensional skills to really claim that role throughout their entire lifetime. Ebbs and flows back wards and forwards in regards to their "handle" on life.
I read on a thread once that healthy betas tend to act more like deltas, and I will add vice versa, healthy deltas tend to act more like betas.
This is if you believe in socionic determinism which is so under fire on the forum as of late.
What do you think about all of this?
I think many people don't get the purpose of socionics. It shouldn't dictate who you should date, and who you should not. Actually it opens our minds to accept that there are certain types that are more compatible, and that's more important than looks or intellectual development and upbringing (for the most part). I myself could come to the same conclusions as did Aushra, because it's something that is subtle but yet can be experienced by many people, and many value their duals once they lose them, and that's what made me look for socionics, even though she wasnt my dual, I noticed that some people are especially compatible and easily identifiable.
Yea I had to learn that the hard way. I spoke to 2 LSEs about typology, and they both did NOT like being "psycho analyzed" I imagine most people don't, but one of them I spoke to he started physically shaking trying to hold a smile that hid his nervousness and the other I could just feel him wanting out of the conversation lol it's so bad.
With the first one all we talked about was him being someone who likes to plan before he takes action and he insisted he was not like that while physically shaking and smiling, it made the rest of us uncomfortable to watch so we immediately stopped.
The second one I was explaining to him that he's LSE and listing out things that are probably true for him, he confirmed saying it was an accurate description but I could tell he was uncomfortable and wanted out, it wasn't like a lightbulb moment like "Whoa that's so true, how do you know that?" like it was for me.
And yea acting helpless yea...-_- it's like crack, but will get you know respect in the long run, but being clever will equal it out I supposed.
Find me an ILI that isn't perfect I'll wait
I think the issue is that you made it personal rather than objective.
When my [LII] brother introduced me to socionics, he explained the system without relating it to me, then I pointed out which one I am.
A relationship needs to be formed before the psychoanalysis can take place.
That is...assuming the LSE will be open to it. Some are, some aren't.
I am, obviously, but I'm not typical of LSEs.
I tried psychoanalysis and psychology discussion with my LSE. He was interested at first, as when I described features of my personality he was surprised to find he could easily relate. But he wasn't interested in reading any articles about it - just in hearing my explanations.
Once I had his sociotype settled, I wanted to know his enneagram type, but he kept putting off reading through the enneagram descriptions. Until finally I noticed 6ish behavior and sent him to read just that one description. Then again he agreed that it fit well and seemed to like that, but he didn't delve further.
I eventually tried psychoanalyzing further, and he seems okay with it so long as I'm verbally explaining my own psychological situation. But he's disinterested in general and doesn't see psychology as a worthwhile topic.
I've dated at least a couple of 9's or 9 in tritype and I'm a 4. These seemed like some of my healthier relationships. This was listed as one of the most likely marriages, in fact I think it was the most likely, on that link you shared Adam. 9 and SLI? Yes?
FYI high possibility my mom is my dual and we live together/get along quite well lol. I don't know if I've met any SLI in person who noticed myself or I them yet : ( maybe...
Also to the OP, if EII and IEI are into bathroom humor, which I find detestable, I'm pretty glad I'm neither of these types (though I doubt this is the case for many EII and IEI :P) If I find out someone likes Family Guy, they lose some serious points
An as IEI, I've met multiple duals throughout my life. One of my best friends in my dual, my father is my dual and my current boss is my dual.
Having my boss as my dual is great - he knows how to mobilize me when I'm stagnant at work. He's also very good good at giving me constant praise which I need. In turn, I'm able to show him new ways of approaching things at work which he is very receptive too. One thing I've noticed with my duals is that they are the MOST RECEPTIVE to my intuition and alternative thinking, they also immediately accept without any push-back. My LII significant other always puts a fight and we go into long debates on these points. One of our executives let the company and I began immediately telling him that this promotion was his and the time now was to act and get it. I also pitched all the other executives and employees that he was the best for this job. Time will tell if my efforts had an effect.
I will utilize different methods at work and my boss will always allow it and then is shocked/impress when they work and our relationship grows. I admire my dual for how much energy he brings into the workplace - everyone mobilizes and works for him very easy.
I call duality perfect when you find a dual with compatible DCNH and compatible enneagram. Anything less is very uncertain.
It's weird. They "appear" in my life once every 4 years or so.....
You "just know" when you meet your dual, it's kinda spooky.
So much potential but it never works out because other things get in the way
My husband, my cousins, my mil :love: and Abbie of course
They are all different enneagram
I like a few of the LSE here including @UDP but I haven’t met any in real life
I guess I easily develop feelings of love
only two, one non romantic (my grandfather whom I love very much)
Considering I've met one SLE in my life and I thought he was a fake douche in the vein of Mencia the answer is zero. Types I meet often: IEI, ILI, IEE, ILE. Types I meet a medium amount of:SEI, LSI, EII, EIE, ESI, LSE, LIE, LII. Types I meet rarely: SLI. SLE: literally one ever. Therefore SLE practically does not exist to me.
Sorry this is such an old thread I am reading. I often find your threads interesting because I think you are a good typer, since the stories you tell often SO fit the type you are describing. I found your above comment interesting because my Mom was ESI. She was happily married forever to my SLI Dad. My Mom LOVED people who were great conversationalists. But, not my kind of conversation [I don't consider myself a "conversationalist". I am more of a "sincere" talker and don't want to talk unless I feel it is something useful, meaningful, important or helpful to say. Like, I can talk awhile about something that made me "realize" something - for example like this post! - but that is not the kind of conversation that Mom was interested in].
When I was in high school and college we had an interesting neighbor who was a vivacious talker,. She was an accomplished professional and quite intelligent (two things Mom admired: success and intelligence). An interesting fact about this neighbor was that she was actually the model for a Dilbert character (the artist was a coworker at a firm she used to work at out west). My Mom LOVED having her join us for holiday meals (she was away from her family, having grown up on a midwestern farm) and this neighbor entertained us all with her lively and interesting talk.
Another example of my Mom's enjoyment of a talker was once Mom and Dad decided to sponsor a student teacher from France (this was certainly Mom's idea) at their otherwise now-empty nest, as there was a need at the local high school for a family to sponsor this young man. So Jacques lived there for that for a year. Jacques was QUITE the talker - very friendly and sociable. When I subbed at that high school some years later, the teachers ALL remembered Jacques and his big and likable personality. Well my Mom just LOVED Jacques the talker. And I think it was because his presence in their home filled a craving she had for interesting conversation. She once said that that was the only thing she would change about Dad - that he would talk more*.
It was in that year that Jacques lived there, that began shortly after my son was born, that I finally give up on the long held hope that Mom would EVER be enthralled with me or anything I did (even something important like bear her grandchild!), because in spite of the amazing new miracle of life in our lives, that year, all she would talk about was Jacques!
So I really think, Adam, that someday some lovely ESI women will be SO grateful for your gift of your kind of talk, and of your just being you. That's what's great about duality. Just us being ourselves is what our dual craves. Most of the time. I really think.
_____________
My dad's parents divorced when he was 3, and he spent his childhood shuffling between two homes on a train from a young age, something that was unusual for that time. And since that marriage broke up with an affair, there was acrimonies between ex- and current wife, and my Dad learned to NOT talk to keep the peace. Mom accredited Dad's lack of talk to that. But I think it had something to do with being an "I" married to an "I"...
I have never seen anyone so at odds with Abbie, and that makes me feel that you are not an EII. Because EIIs just don't get that annoyed with what LSE has to say or how they say it.
[This is not personal against you. I haven't read your other posts. I have read plenty of Abbie's and I feel quite sure she is LSE. And a LOT of people mistype themselves.]
To answer the OP's question, I know several Dual couples who seem "perfect". There is a SEI/ILE couple I have known for years whose marriage was so interesting to me for it's perfect peaceful harmony (something that marks EVERY dual marriage couple I know, no matter the types). At the time I met them and developed my friendship with the SEI, and observed her marriage in wonder, I was in a bad marriage and it felt good to see that marriage did not always have to be a struggle.
I know another SEI/ILE couple; the SEI was a roommate in college and we were in each others weddings (my first marriage). What a story for them. They dated, he served jail time (long story) and they married when he got out and he is a very successful businessman today and they have 4 children and they sail and he is quite adventurous. (Both the ILEs in those couples are adventurous and avid breadwinners, while the SEIs do an amazing job devotedly keeping the home fires burning, with their life totally centered on supporting their husband and their family, especially by doing the supportive grunge work, cooking, shopping, cleaning, laundry, errands. Like super thrifty grocery shopping - and just just being very thrifty home managers so hubby's money and time can be available for all his many his grandiose ideas or adventures. Both SEIs as well as my SEI friend here in a Supervision marriage with a LSE are super thrifty home-managers.
My LSI brother is long-happily married to a vivacious EIE, and it is a most happy pairing. They also have 4 children, just like both previously-mentioned dual couples. It seems to me that the peaceful duality pairing makes it possible to take on more. I noticed that she is the one with the grand ideas (Let's do this and this to the house, or take the whole family on this vacation), and he works to makes them happen.
Well I thought I knew more Dual couples but I can't think of any others. Maybe it is just the three. I also know at least three conflictor couples and just as the duals have much in common, no matter their types, so do the conflictor couples, no matter the type, and just as harmony and peace is in common for duals, conflict is marked for the conflictors!
Oh yes! I am in the fourth Dual couple I know of! My 2nd marriage to my Dual is like my SEI friend's, the first couple mentioned above, whose marriage I so long admired, though we are IEE and SLI. For us it is marked peace and harmony, and we are able to accomplish many things together. I love that we can be productive doing and accomplishing things together, rather than like my first marriage, where I was always thinking about working on the marriage and always trying to make it better and figure it out. I spend no thought on such things now. Just on what we will do or accomplish together, and how or in what order we could best do it (I am the planner and project coordinator for our dual pair. My husband will have input at times, but as long as my plans sound reasonable to him he is more than happy to join me to make the things happen that we both want to have happen. Usually he agrees in how I prioritize things (I am always in the process of re-prioritizing as we juggle things) and he is happy to have someone else think through the boring organization of matters like what we should do first and by when. If at times we don't agree on something, we both present our cases and talk it out until we are both quite happy with the plan. So in the end we are always peaceable about what direction we are actually moving in. It's really a good thing.
Most who believe they are LIE or ENTJ are none of such. I have met 4 maybe 5 people who I type as LIE, all male. No perfection found but one of them comes close.
Very strong Te, quick learner, happy go lucky, optimistic to a fault, always eager to do something and help someone, very popular as in very well liked but does not have strong people skills. Good leader if Te is the focus, but no way can he charm a crowd like EIE or SEE.
He is now married to an ESI-Se and moved to China (he is Chinese) and last time I checked they were doing very well.
.
I know at least 22 people whom I type as LIE (I keep lists), and two are female. When I was younger and in school, I knew almost no LIE's. None, in fact, that I remember. But now that I own a small company and I'm dealing with the heads of other companies, I'm meeting LIE's in every other connection. They say that half the CEO's in the US are LIE, and I feel that that is about right. The percentages are probably highest in companies with 25 people, but that's just a guess.
However, of all these LIE's, I only know three whom I think are married to duals. And those three differ from the rest in one very real way. They seem content, or satisfied with themselves. They sort of give me the same vibes that @FDG gives me.
Most LIE's that I know, myself included, are "on edge" all the time. Seeking opportunities, striving, planning, fighting, maneuvering for advantage. The three dualized LIE's are still striving, but they seem to be more laid back and seem to be better at pacing themselves. They are not the most successful in absolute "accumulated money" terms, but they are all still in their 30's and are still doing very well.
For some unknown reason, two of the LIE's have not started a family yet. The third LIE is ignoring his very young kids and letting his ESI wife deal with them. (This jibes with what I have read; that LIE's only get interested in their kids when the kids become teens. Which was definitely not true in my own case, but we're talking averages here.)
The LIE's who are most successful, money-wise, are married to Ti-doms. Their personal lives are train wrecks, but they have money. They also don't seem to like spending much time at home. Lol.
I don't know if I've met a perfect ESI or not. I'm still trying to decide what is "perfect".
I have definitely met ESI's that I'd like to get to know better. And a few that I know well enough right now. Lol.
ESI's seem to come in two subtypes and three enneagram flavors. The subtypes are the ESI-Fi, whom I think of as "nesters", since they are interested in building a nice, quiet home, and ESI-Se, whom I think of as the "sports model", since they are usually interested in sports.
The enneagram types are the eccentric and unique e4's, the warrior e6's, and the calm, zen-like e9's.
My experience with each type is:
ESI-Fi e4 wanted to move in together, but the age difference scared me.
ESI-Se e6 is just about perfect, but they are always rushing off to somewhere else. And there is an age difference between me and those two.
ESI-Se or -Fi (hard to tell) e9 is how I would type my best friend from HS, and a guy I'm working with now. Both great guys, but they seem kind of bloodless. And I'm sx-first.
I wish there were more research into this stuff. I just need to be able to pick the optimum from a catalog and be done with it, and then get on with my life.
Of the people I type as LIE, 3 are married but I only met one wife so I could type her. LIE 1 is the guy I mentioned in my previous post. I met him in grad school and his wife too. He is actually a bit on edge as you put it, competent, confident and happy, but always wanting more in life. I believe he is the Te-D sub type. Personally I find his personality close to ideal.
LIE 2 I met in college and we were good friends. He is now married with 2 little kids and seems very involved with his kids. Strong Te but a very scattered and naive person, very poor people skills, and Si polr is obvious. I only see his wife’s pictures on FB but I can’t tell her type. He is less on edge and more content than LIE 1, but still happy and confident. Te-C sub type.
LIE 3 is a coworker. He is older, in his 40’s, unhappily married with 2 teenagers. I don’t know his wife’s type since I have never met her or seen her pictures but based on his comments I think she is an Alpha SF. I don’t think he is content but he is at an age he is no longer on edge. I think he is the balanced sub type, N.
The last one LIE 4 I met as an expedition tour guide. His interest involves the wildnerness and he is nowhere near wanting to settle down. Ni subtype I believe and an H. Strong people skills resembling IEI but also strong Te and Ti.
I would more so look at compatibility in enneagram and attitudinal psyche / psyche yoga to balance things out.
Using one theory only is pretty ridiculous to be honest, in ascertaining how things work between people.