Dating Your Identical

Thoughts? Experiences?

Does it challenge you to use your inferior functions more or do you just end up ignoring them and living in a fantasy land of your shared main functions?
i.e. do you become more well rounded as an individual instead of getting that stuff from your dual? Or do you become one of those couples that look like each other and never see anyone else and never confront your weaknesses? Or worse, fall into a bickering mess because the other one can't help you with your pain points?

How much worse does this get if they are the same enneagram type (mb even the same tritype) as you?

asking for a friend :shifty:

I haven't exactly dated my female LIE identicals, but I have spent time with two of them over a period of years. One of them was a woman who used to run a division of GE, and was going back to school to get a PhD in Optical Sciences. We worked on a project together, and we were so sympatico it was amazing. She was on her second marriage and I was newly divorced, so we didn't exactly look at each other as prospective partners, but we gave each other a lot of support and made a powerful team.
The only points of friction between us were political. She was a strong conservative who believed in conspiracy theories, and I'm a liberal who doesn't. As long as we avoided talking about that, we got along great. Other people would comment that they could not believe that either she or I could sit next to the other for hours at a time, for months on end, and not kill each other. I'm not sure why they thought we would kill each other, but we got along great.

The other LIE female whom I know is 36 and newly separated from her ex. I find her to be smart and a lot of fun and we talk at least once a week. We have been getting along great for about five years now. We are easily able to teach each other what we each know, but we can't really help the other person because our approach to problem-solving is identical. She has the luxury (as do I) of working with a same-sex dual, and so we are both able to compare how we relate to each other to how we relate to our duals. And frankly, while I understand her perfectly (and vice-versa), and while we have both admitted to each other that we've given some thought to just jumping into bed with the other just for the hell of it, we both came to the same conclusion (independently) that that would be a bad idea. Basically, talking to her is like talking to myself, except she's better looking.

It's good. Go for it! All quadra relations should be considered good. You feel at home, and you can discover new things about yourself with the help of your identical. Lots of people marry their identical. The downside of identity is that in the long run it can be a little boring and there is a lack of real chemistry on type level, and also the lack of support.

I've dated Harmonizing and Creative SEI.

Subtype matters as always. All fruitful identical relations I know are either D+N or H+C.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Adam Strange

Basically, talking to her is like talking to myself, except she's better looking.

---

Same for me with the female LIE I know best. She's the best friend of my wife ftr. In her case, we're also the same age.

I have a lot of LIE friends, male and female, but I can't see how we could date successfully over the long term. They're great friends though. It's obviously the 2nd best relationship after duality.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Adam Strange

Basically, talking to her is like talking to myself, except she's better looking.

---

haha this is exactly my situation! Male mrrrmaid but a much fitter body and a dreamy bone structure (though I have seen a picture of him from when he was 14/15 when he still had a softer, boyish face and then he looks exactly like a male mrrrmaid :shifty:).

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Tallmo

It's good. Go for it! All quadra relations should be considered good. You feel at home, and you can discover new things about yourself with the help of your identical. Lots of people marry their identical. The downside of identity is that in the long run it can be a little boring and there is a lack of real chemistry on type level, and also the lack of support.

I've dated Harmonizing and Creative SEI.

Subtype matters as always. All fruitful identical relations I know are either D+N or H+C.

---

yeah a combination of this and what Adam said are what I thought. That there would be a problem with support and problem solving. I figured if I did just go for it I'd have to not expect any of that from him and then either seek it from dual / activity friends or from within myself. I always thought (even before socionics - though this gave me language for what I'd theorised) that the lack of complimenting difference would make for a terrible relationship but I started thinking recently that it might be doable to supplement this elsewhere. Did you find that was the case with you?

I would. I think duals are better left for long term, non-romantic relations.

They can be quite different from you. One ILE I know was into raising a family and stuff. Person went by the societal expectations. This has never been my story. However we seem to just look at stuff through similar lens and value the similar vagueness that might produce new avenues in stuff.

I suppose I have quite mindset compared to the other. I'm much more of a common fool/have much more spontaneity and so on. Pick your poison.
You can not really tell by type that you look the same as the contrast can be huge on the surface but very similar in terms of informational reactivity to certain stuff etc.

I know LSE girl. I may respect and trust her, but I doubt in having emotional inspiration what I seek in romances the most. She've chosen F type for the marriage and I always prefered F types women.
It should be boring without suggestive support. Closer to a cooperation, than to love.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Troll Nr 007

They can be quite different from you.

---

especially when you mistype yourself and others

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Sol

I know LSE girl. I may respect and trust her, but I doubt in having emotional inspiration what I seek in romances the most. She've chosen F type for the marriage and I always prefered F types women.
It should be boring without suggestive support. Closer to a cooperation, than to love.



especially when you mistype yourself and others

---

I find your consultation service mb bit b0rked.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NVDT1ARABvE

Chae times two is some fucking chaos :lol:

I say the whole thing won't be nowhere near as annoying if it's 2 integrating (!) types, not double extro ethics in particular.

Double 4D :Te: is only less tolerable if they are both like Doctor Strange. Other than that... say LIE x LIE or ILE x ILE probably build a space ship and that's it, no drama. So yeah, the base functions will intensify :thinking:

Nevertheless, I can envision intro-identical couples, take EII x EII, really be a wholesome and durable experience, just with double :Se: issues but they won't see it. The only problem's gonna be that they would like the other to be like Te-Si, maybe without being able to explain it, and falling short either way.


Enneagram— I remember reading that 3s don't like each other because we see through each other's impostor syndrome, can confirm.

Put me together with Zac Efron, no couple around would be as shallow. We'd become more well-rounded in terms of refining our vanity and fake public image.

https://i.gifer.com/HEcr.gif

Long story short, combining two similar negatives, things will get stronger anyways. Stay away from identicals if you have reasons to fix yourself, it only gets worse. If you like yourself, go for it.


PS: Trying to think of well-known identical couples but it seems to be a rare deal among the rich and famous?

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Chae

Chae times two is some fucking chaos :lol:

I say the whole thing won't be nowhere near as annoying if it's 2 integrating (!) types, not double extro ethics in particular.

Double 4D :Te: is only less tolerable if they are both like Doctor Strange. Other than that... say LIE x LIE or ILE x ILE probably build a space ship and that's it, no drama. So yeah, the base functions will intensify :thinking:

Nevertheless, I can envision intro-identical couples, take EII x EII, really be a wholesome and durable experience, just with double :Se: issues but they won't see it. The only problem's gonna be that they would like the other to be like Te-Si, maybe without being able to explain it, and falling short either way.


Enneagram— I remember reading that 3s don't like each other because we see through each other's impostor syndrome, can confirm.

Put me together with Zac Efron, no couple around would be as shallow. We'd become more well-rounded in terms of refining our vanity and fake public image.

https://i.gifer.com/HEcr.gif

Long story short, combining two similar negatives, things will get stronger anyways. Stay away from identicals if you have reasons to fix yourself, it only gets worse. If you like yourself, go for it.


PS: Trying to think of well-known identical couples but it seems to be a rare deal among the rich and famous?

---

yes! one thing I thought about was probably I shouldn't date him / any identical right now since we're both in our mid-twenties and have a lot of developing to do. So we would be combining our very obvious negatives (both overly sensitive, anxious and reactive or, in other words, both have 4 & 6 in our tritype). Both yearning for some sort of stability and not going to find it in each other. But also there is that Introverted Ethical wholesomeness of "wow! the world is scary and no one gets me but you." Whether it's good to have that worldview reinforced is probably the bigger question haha.

I think kindred is more exciting.

When you 69 with an identical, they become your quasi-identical.

My two possible types (hopefully) are ILI and LII. While two LIIs might not be terrible in theory, two ILIs seems like it'd be doomed.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Chae

Chae times two is some fucking chaos :lol:

I say the whole thing won't be nowhere near as annoying if it's 2 integrating (!) types, not double extro ethics in particular.

Double 4D :Te: is only less tolerable if they are both like Doctor Strange. Other than that... say LIE x LIE or ILE x ILE probably build a space ship and that's it, no drama. So yeah, the base functions will intensify :thinking:

---

Close, @Chae. The other LIE and I built a system for identifying spy satellites from multiple ground stations. And no drama. We designed it, had it built, tested it and it worked. Exactly as planned.

The LIIs (also EIIs) that I've met have all had sibling-like feels to them, and for the occasions when there might have been initial attractions, the feelings seemed to grow platonic quite quickly......:content:

a.k.a. I/O

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Rebelondeck

The LIIs (also EIIs) that I've met have all had sibling-like feels to them, and for the occasions when there might have been initial attractions, the feelings seemed to grow platonic quite quickly......:content:

a.k.a. I/O

---

I know an LII who just met a woman (he's been married and divorced and has had multiple GF's, none of whom lasted longer that two years) and he told me a month ago that he and she were at a stage in their relationship after one week that the others had not reached after a couple months. I wonder if he's met an identical? (I haven't met her.)

I've seen LII's fall for SLI's, LSE's, and ILI's, but only once for an ESE (and that didn't last). I need to ask him if he has a picture of her.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Lord Pixel

I think kindred is more exciting.

---

Sounds like endlessly polishing debate over useless things while you agree with the foundation... at least to me. :eek:

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Troll Nr 007

Sounds like endlessly polishing debate over useless things while you agree with the foundation... at least to me. :eek:

---

I was in one and yup pretty much. We understand each other so well but feel like "Wow we are different."

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by mrrrmaid

I always thought (even before socionics - though this gave me language for what I'd theorised) that the lack of complimenting difference would make for a terrible relationship but I started thinking recently that it might be doable to supplement this elsewhere. Did you find that was the case with you?

---

I just think it's a matter of adapting to your partner. That always happens. So I don't see it as a problem. I am not that much for engineering these things. But I do think that complementary subtype is important (also for identicals), but otherwise I'd say all quadra relations (+ semidual) are compatible. But duality is the most romantic and interesting, in my experience.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Tallmo

I just think it's a matter of adapting to your partner. That always happens. So I don't see it as a problem. I am not that much for engineering these things. But I do think that complementary subtype is important (also for identicals), but otherwise I'd say all quadra relations (+ semidual) are compatible. But duality is the most romantic and interesting, in my experience.

---

@Tallmo, Which subtypes do you consider to be complementary?

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Adam Strange

@Tallmo, Which subtypes do you consider to be complementary?

---

The same old DCNH thing: D+N and C+H. But people tend to go for these combinations anyway, so knowledge of DCNH is not really necessary. The world is full of D+N couples, I see them every day.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Tallmo

The same old DCNH thing: D+N and C+H. But people tend to go for these combinations anyway, so knowledge of DCNH is not really necessary. The world is full of D+N couples, I see them every day.

---

I see. Thanks.

I'm not looking for any type (even in-quadra) other than ESI's, and I think ESI's are mostly N-types, so I should be fine.
(I'm just trying to narrow it down to either ESI-Se or ESI-Fi, and possibly enneatype compatibility.)

Two INFJ are dating at work right now but like Socionics says they are like brother and sister since they can relate to one another’s problems but can’t really help each other. I have very little to talk about with other INFJ and I very much enjoy the chatty nature of Estj when the go on and on about information no one asked them about and their comparison of electrons and pricing

I'm sure that identical types can share the workload so in that sense can help one another. Establishing distinct roles where both feel like equal partners can be rather complicated but doable; familiarity's the potential enemy in that each may be able to overly scrutinize the other's contribution to the relationship and cause death by a thousand cuts. As dull as conversations may eventually get, there shouldn't be much standing in the way of successful long-term cooperation although some people can make mountains out of molehills. Starting such relationships (and initially getting around the sibling feel) may be far more difficult than actually keeping them going when one considers that boring predictability eventually enters every relationship.

a.k.a. I/O

I've seen some Identical couples.

There were three in Alpha, a male-female SEI-Si couple, and two LII-LII couples. I suspect that LII-LII is more common than any other Identical pairing, mainly because e5 understands and values e5.

One in Beta: An IEI-IEI couple. I suspect that this pairing is common, but I only know of one.

Three in Gamma: All ESI-ESI, although sometimes the sub-types would be different.

None that I know of in Delta.

They're good for friendship only, there's no chemistry only easiness and lots of understanding and some occasional fun

Heard these relations are competitive.

I haven't tried, but suspect it would ultimately feel like psychological drowning.

We would end up homeless and dead at an early age most likely lol

I've always found my identicals attractive, after all, we have so much in common. But it would never actually work out as @aster pointed out.

The attraction and romance between two EIEs would be amour fou. It would likely start and end quickly and intensely, and some highs and lows in between.

It may be a better idea if you were young :shrug:

being fully understood is more valuable to me than being completed or satisfied or whatever duality is supposed to grant. I'm more drawn to Ni egos than Se. I really admire Ses but realistically I don't think it could ever work, a 4D Ni with a 1D Ni for a life time sounds like you'd be better off dying alone. imo identical and kindred are more realistic than duality

I had lunch yesterday with an old friend at his house. Both he and his wife of 22 years are ESEs. They seem to be very supportive of each other and while it was obvious that neither of them were very good with Ti logic, they have a beautiful house and yard and they served an attractive and healthy lunch.

Both had been previously married; her to a reactionary Republican and he to a woman he met in a bookstore and started a liberal press company with. She divorced because her previous husband’s politics were repellent to her, and he divorced because, he said, he didn’t love his first wife enough.

They seemed pretty happy with each other. It was a relationship built entirely from feels and from doing the right social things.


All is not perfect in Identical Land, though. I went over there to buy a telescope that he had inherited and while he and I are Super-Ego and have never been close, and he has expressed disapproval of my drinking and choice of GFs, we got to talking about the world and politics and his wife invited me to stay for lunch, because “this is the most intellectually stimulating conversation we’ve had in a long time”.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by ori

being fully understood is more valuable to me than being completed or satisfied or whatever duality is supposed to grant. I'm more drawn to Ni egos than Se. I really admire Ses but realistically I don't think it could ever work, a 4D Ni with a 1D Ni for a life time sounds like you'd be better off dying alone. imo identical and kindred are more realistic than duality

---

Identity is really nice. I agree. Duality might seem unrealistic if you haven't been there, but it is pretty common and I've met ILI-SEE couples who are madly in love. I also know several dual couples who have been together for decades. Socionics is right about duality imo, but I don't see it as the "perfect" relationship. It might feel like that in the beginning when the dual chemistry it strong, but it's hard to develop yourself with a dual. They get very dependent on each other, and they like it. But you pay a price for that.

I don't really find myself being attracted to SEIs much...friendship sure but idk about dating one. But never say never.

I may have dated my identical. I enjoyed it and we get along very well. There's a strong mutual understanding of one another and I feel more encouraged to utilize my weaker functions around her without any need of having to use lead functions consciously.

Haha I made this thread for a specific crush I had lol
never ended up dating him so I have nothing to report back
have been thinking it would be nice to date an identical or similar type lately as there is less psychological distance to cross than with a dual / activity. But I think there would also be a lack of stimulation like Adam suggested.
I always found it sort of creepy when couples look / act like each other

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by SaveYourself

Haha I made this thread for a specific crush I had lol
never ended up dating him so I have nothing to report back

---

This is what happens when two victims like each other lol.

Always waiting for the other to make a move.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Eudaimonia

This is what happens when two victims like each other lol.

Always waiting for the other to make a move.

---

lol this is too real

When I think more of this. Quirky awkwardness overload. Sounds kind of intriguing. I have worked in a lab with my identical.. she was interesting in a weird way but she hooked up with an ILI who was probably more complementing to her temperament.

Hi again, a 73 YO SLI male, I had been looking for that IEE dual, and while I am attracted to them they seem to see me as only a friend. My Match profile mentioned MBTI and my ISTP type and garnered contact from a lady almost too far away and with a couple of interests that I might have ruled her out with..
She is clearly the same as me, we are a pair of SLIs and cannot imagine this relationship ever falling apart, our combined collection of tools is quite impressive!! We only met in July and now have a noisy tuned 6spd Miata in her garage, looking at rv trailers and likely a VW Golf R... I have even bought some golf clubs...
We both know how to please each other, never imagined feeling this good, so quickly at our ages, she is 72..
The idea of Duallity, while tempting, is not so easy to obtain, at least for me...
Love my identical..
Trevor