How do you express contempt or how is it manifested?
What do you do when you dislike/hate someone?
And how each type manifest it in your experience?
I want to know the differences between types.
Honest answers are welcome.
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How do you express contempt or how is it manifested?
What do you do when you dislike/hate someone?
And how each type manifest it in your experience?
I want to know the differences between types.
Honest answers are welcome.
Generally act more disinterested and cold when I have to talk with them. Try to keep my cool but if they're someone really annoying I might snap at them by accident. If I really hate someone I try to minimize my interaction with them as much as possible.
If it's at work or they're close to someone I'm close to I try to hide it. I talk to them less compared to others but otherwise I mask it okay. I think those situations account for most of the people I dislike.
In situations where I feel free to more openly express dislike i just ignore them unless they act friendly with me. Then I'm a little rude/abrupt in a way that usually gets the point across that I don't want to interact. It rarely escalates to an actual conflict.
I pretty much treat everybody equally unless they step on my toes.. then I let them know in a subtle way, I didn't appreciate it. I'm not in Jr high school; I don't have any reason to dislike anybody unless they're harassing me or gaslighting me. If they harass me, then I avoid them because I dislike drama ...(I guess that's disliking)
I usually just ignore them and pretend they don't exist. If that doesn't work then I'll be combative defensively. Of course, in some rare situations you have to deal with them somewhat cordially like co-workers. Like chriscorey, I only really dislike people that try to step on my toes though. If you don't try to attack me in anyway then I have no reason to dislike you.
Generally just avoid and delete them from my lifeQuote:
Originally Posted by Aki
Retype them into a type that is just the most awful horrible type that everyone hates and then make sure they suffer in that typing. jkjk
I'll invest conscious attention into examining my dislike in much greater detail. Like the quote goes everything that you dislike about others is a window into yourself. I feel like I cannot miss out on an opportunity like that. This contemplation then leads me to have these exciting spikes of revelations, while the dislike turns into "well, we're not quite traveling along the same road" so then I won't spend much time in their company.
The feels I get about other people don't neatly come to simple like/dislike, love/hate, as this would be like seeing in black and white, so it gets to be more complicated.
Quote:
Originally Posted by hag
https://media.tenor.com/images/1c87b...058a/tenor.gif
I can't imagine you're telling everyone you know at work and church and school and whatever they're ILE, mostly because most people don't know what that is.Quote:
Originally Posted by silke
hence the jk'sQuote:
Originally Posted by coeruleum
be the trendsetter and start. make ILE the new N-wordQuote:
Originally Posted by silke
oh preach hahaQuote:
Originally Posted by coeruleum
make sure to call him an ILE 9w1 Sp/So before you do itQuote:
Originally Posted by hag
It depends on if it's strategically wise to act. If not then I ignore them, but if I can, I destroy them.
Any prefered method?Quote:
Originally Posted by Remiel
Usually small timey stuff like cheap power plays. But often when I got someone at my mercy I dont act on it. I've already gotten what I wanted out of it. Like some people on this forum has experienced. :content:Quote:
Originally Posted by Aki
It honestly depends. If I can stay away from them, I'll do that. If I can't tho, I tend to be confrontational. I don't have any issues expressing my contempt for someone. Usually, if it's in a social setting, I can get other people to side with me. I have a hard time backing off, especially if the other person doesn't get out of my face.Quote:
Originally Posted by Aki
Ignore them. Don't take them seriously. Dismiss everything they say. Honestly, it's just one person. I'm sure they don't have anything useful or important to say to me anyway. If there's some fault of mine, I would count on my actual well wishers to point it out. Usually when I dislike someone it's pretty mutual anyway, so I don't see any point in paying attention to anything they have to say. Unless it's like a professional setting and I have to act professional, in which case, I don't really have a problem doing that.Quote:
What do you do when you dislike/hate someone?
Not entirely sure how to answer this? Uhhh, I don't think logical types fight for social dominance, that's something I've observed. I haven't met any logical types that generate drama, or openly demonstrate contempt. They're pretty level headed. Ethical types can range a lot, like holding grudges from like, five years ago, to saying outright to my face "You have no friends" (which wasn't even true). With SFs, it always turns it into a social thing, and I'm guilty of this as well. NFs can take an air of superiority even be smug. EIEs and ESEs are very very diplomatic imo, I don't think I have seen them openly express contempt... Is there anything specific you were looking for?Quote:
And how each type manifest it in your experience?
I hope this helps :)Quote:
I want to know the differences between types.
Honest answers are welcome.
If I don't like someone but HAVE to work with them, I'd try to keep chill for the social cohesion but would find petty ways to express the dislike. For example, one guy I worked with never pulled his weight on the team so I always suggested he do the worst / most difficult jobs. Another girl I worked with would often make sweeping generalisations and would also play devil's advocate a lot so I would always undermine her when she did that (and like a true bitch, be sweet and innocent about doing it)
In social situations I'm more like Hag. Avoid avoid avoid as much as possible. Find ways to get out of conversation with them. Don't go to events if they are there. Don't respond directly to them. One time a friend of mine called me a bitch for doing this and not just saying how I feel but I think it's preferable to making my friends uncomfortable? Like if I hate my friend's friend I won't tell them I think they're an asshole. If my friend is the one being an asshole, then I'll tell them. But it seems unnecessary if it's someone I can just avoid (unless they are being really mean or something)
When I was younger I was more inclined to speak my mind and get into arguments but I'm generally bad at getting out of arguments (knowing when to quit / when it's getting futile) and end up getting emotionally drained
I think it depends a lot on what they did to me. If they didn't wrong me too badly, I'll just avoid them when I see them.
But if they wronged me really badly, then I'll start going into aggressive mode with them.
Like during my high school days, I was molested by this cleaner at my school.
He will always board the same bus as me after school, and he will always sit beside me in the bus, and then the sexual assault started happening. I think he molested me a total of 3-4 times, on different occasions.
I was quite afraid of him at first, but over time, my anger toward him started overpowering my fear of him.
So one day, when I saw him at my school, I started getting into a staring contest with him and I actually stared him right into his eyes without looking away, just to intimidate him. And it works. He's scared of me, and he didn't dare to come near me ever again.
I think I’d probably either directly mock or attack them or slander them (“vent” about them lol) behind their back if that’s not possible. If it doesn’t get to this point, I wouldn’t consider it as me truly disliking someone.
It is the f*cking thermonuclear war every time!
I don't really have lots of clues about that. If it is not addressable in any shape or form then nothing particular will likely happen. So basically, if the other party is not giving lots of negative signals it will be OK. If the negative stuff happens, I will try to dodge it or go around it as long as possible. If it continues way too long I might go into heated mode (which is not meltdown, though).
Usually I feel pretty guilty disliking people, but then I also get annoyed when other people are all accepting of said people. I usually vent to my husband about them, but he doesn't have as strong opinions about people as I do, so I usually just feel like a horrible person afterwards. I guess it makes me feel like an unaccepting person? My sister is good to vent to about people, because she has clear likes and dislikes, but she usually wants to do something dramatic and combative about it, like ruin the person and go after them, and that conflicts with what I usually do about it, which is a whole lot of nothing. But I suppose I'll talk to them a lot less than others, might even give crappy looks, or if they say something I don't like, I might give sarcastic remarks. I have flipped out a few times on people, but it was something that built over a long period of time. I can be quiet about things bugging me for a while, but then if it continues, it can get to the point where I can't take it anymore. I've only done that a handful of times, but it does happen. However I am a lot more proactive when it concerns my family than myself. Things have to be pretty bad for me to start completely ignoring a person/giving them the cold shoulder, but I've done it before, and it's a lot easier when I'm in a bad mood. It's pretty easy for me to make it clear to someone their presence is unwelcome if I really want to. I don't naturally feel like that much of a warm & welcoming person anyway, so I just try becoming even less of one. I might be more accepting/coldly polite on other days when I'm in a better mood, which might send mixed signals.
I usually avoid eye contact and talk to them as little as possible, but sometimes I can start talking about something briefly and it can become more and I momentarily forget I don't like them. Disliking people is hard work. I don't like to dislike people.
If I truly dislike someone overall I'll probably try to avoid them as much as possible and not be rude. Unless they are asking for it. Then I can be pretty savage. Usually not the case though. Often it's someone I once liked and my opinion has shifted or it's someone I respect in general but there is something about them I don't like. In that case I think I frequently voice my discontent. Usually regret it after. I can get too personal and a little mean, and if it's someone I think has redeeming qualities I usually don't think they deserve that. There are very few people I just straight up dislike. If so they're not really worth it anyway, but I roll my eyes and make snide comments. If it's someone I hate because they're an asshole or actually did something to me, I'll frequently contemplate revenge and rarely act on it, mostly out of fear of repercussions.
<insert my username here>
Chickie, you are back! :love: I was missing u :love2:
I think about them. A lot. I think about why i dislike them. It is a greater necessity for me to understand my dislike than when i like someone.
In interaction i listen more closely to what they say. I am quicker to dismiss their remarks in my head, even though i chastise myself mentally for it.
Hello chikie yes I'm trying to get my mind off psychology haha 😂Quote:
Originally Posted by Aki
Same, aster. I even try really hard to 'forget' that i dislike certain people, sort of brush it under the rug, and this lasts until the next time that said person does or says something that reminds me of why i dislike them in the first place. I always hope that i have misjudged the person/situation w/e and even that the person might change (doesn't happen much lol).Quote:
Originally Posted by aster
If it's very strong dislike I would try to avoid them, after many attempts at the above.
Presently, i dislike 2 of my co-workers. i have tried a combination of the above + trying to improve the very nature of our relation (by trying to be more open minded about them and friendly - which I didn't like doing because it made me feel like I was behaving out of character). Now it has got to the point where I try to talk to them as little as possible while not entirely avoiding them. At the workplace this is more difficult imo. And i am convinced I haven't misjudged these 2 people after so many times trying to understand and empathize with where they are coming from.
Position myself to have the upper hand, exploit their weakness, and then destroy them with one big blow
At work - if the dislike is mutual and we still have to work together - find a way to appear superior to them so they won´t think about bothering me, or find ways to have the upper hand so they won´t be able to damage me.
Otherwise I may even have a hard time telling if someone likes or dislikes me, it´s not something I often think about.
If they are more or less my equal, I will crush them and get back at them for bothering me. My inner moral fag feels bad for even killing a tiny bug mind you- like there's always a part of me that dies when I'm like this, but really ugh you shouldn't have messed with me in the first place - I'm not your punching bag, I will get my revenge and it won't be pretty.
If they have too much real political power over me and I can't touch them but they can touch/invade me, I will convince others why that person needs to be crushed and try to get them fired or demoted. This surprisingly works a good deal in my favor, if I can get close to them enough and to influence others why they need to take that person's power away from them etc.
I know spiritually we should all just forgive, love and move on but realistically like Xena said that's just so hard to do sometimes. *stares thoughtfully into the campfire.* /hugs @inumbra. I do try to remember war only usually works when both sides think of themselves as the good guys. When in all reality there is no such thing, of course.
As with many things it depends. How severely do I hate them? What have they done to me? What do I have to lose by retaliating? Is it feasible to just walk away? Will they likely continue acting the way they are until stopped?
Say cutting, creepy things if I have to be around them, can’t help it.
I don’t like the petty glee I get from doing that. So I prefer to de-exist them mentally, shun, ghost.
Depends on what they did. Do they smell or are they undermining me? If they are undermining me I will try to be empathetic since it must be hard to compete. If they are also incompetent I will gossip about their lack of competency. If they are better than me and trying to undermine me I will wait for the right moment. If they smell I will just avoid them.
I'll just say it and tell them, keep it specific to behaviours and or attitudes and why.
Sometimes we can move past it into something more productive. Sometimes not.
I'd ask myself what do I stand to loose or gain here by telling them? It goes into all directions of inquiry self directed and other directed.
I'd rather not add fuel to inevitable fires and avoid when possible. My spiritual beliefs do not permit me to retaliate because that will only incur more selfharm too later anyway. It is best to just gain an understanding, be objective beyond types, and then I personally choose to leave the dramas.
Sometimes life circumstances have forced me to maintain contact and love my enemies anyway. I used to say our enemies can be great teachers, but I've been hurt badly enough where I can't just intellectualize that anymore. And by enemies I am not referring to socionics intertype relations but proven enemies. Good civil relations are still possible among all types (perhaps if not forced to be too intimate) with enough virtue.
I tend to view someone who's behavior I dislike as someone who just doesn't know better. And everyone's always learning.
I don't care unless they're in my way. Then I scare them or I hit them.
Most people are conflict averse, so it don't take much.
In general, I dislike the feeling of disliking people, especially if it's not anything intentional on their part that they are doing that is making me dislike them. So, I usually remove myself from the situation discreetly. If I have to remain, then I am usually less talkative, and my mood goes down.
There are some less common cases where someone I am acquainted with (so there is a bit more affection involved than a typical case) is acting in a manner that makes me dislike them, usually by being inconsiderate, but they are genuinely unaware of why this is so. So I try to correct their behavior calmly, since if I don't correct this behavior, it is likely that nobody will, since many people are unwilling to confront people. If they were to continue behaving in that way, then it is likely that they will just rub more people the wrong way, and that will lead to them being socially isolated. People should not live in bubbles, as it is detrimental to health.
In the much rarer cases where someone is actively provoking me or irritating me, I actively try to remain composed, since I know that they are probably just trying to get me to react. But like all people, I have a fuse, and when this fuse burns through I can respond very angrily. I usually raise my voice and let the person know exactly why I am angry, usually with a few choice words of my own. I typically try to avoid this.
I think the idea that I might dislike someone new excites me tbh. I used to want to always be neutral and not give into emotions like that because they were non-objective, or I didn’t want to do something bad as a result, or something like that. I also used to be really impersonal and ambivalent socially. Now I’m enjoying this new world of liking/disliking people. Burning hatred when channeled properly can be productive, it’s fun!
I go over the situation to understand what is happening, what clashes in order to make things run smoothly afterward.
If I realize the problem is someone is upset with me, I will let them deal with it as they wish and do nothing unless they make the first step about it.
All this usually equates to is introspecting and not doing anything concrete.
I fix my perception, nothing else.
I try not to care too much and take some distance, which can be very hard, but it helps to put things into perspective and process. In the long run it's the only sane thing to do.
The more time you spend hating, the less time you have to love. There is no point in carrying grudges and indulging in hate or going in circles until you can't see the world for what it is, being completely incapacitated by the feelings and the past.
Think about if im right about it. Gain Intel to get a clearer midea. I dont dislike for petty reasons (most would disagree but thats because im too smart to be understood) them debate with myself if torture or Just kill i dk which is justifiable. Then dontkill because everyone would want me thuroughly investigated first and i dont have a reliable way of doing it without getting caught or it would take too much of me to take out only one while there's many of them. I make them miserable however opportunity presents itself. Poor People cant sue u for theft or injury. A lot of times they would pretend to be stoic but take it out on the People they are supposed to care about. Inerrelated to why i hate them. Conservatives dont deserve to breathe. I indulge in inflammatory like that
Regardless if i believe in it or not.
I dislike the word dislike.
When I don't like someone I usually avoid any and all interactions with them. And it depends on why I don't like them. For certain things I'll be secretly hoping they do something that makes me like them again. And for other, more serious things, I still have that hope for them to show some form of remorse.
I don't like not liking people. It's too stressful for me.
If I'm forced to be in groups and hang out with that person it's awkward and unbearable. And it's very hard for me to be difficult with them in a group. I'll end up treating them the same way as everyone else.
First, Id keep an open mind, maybe I would change my mind :P but if i keep disliking them i would stop interacting with them if possible
LIIs tend to hold most people at some mental distance anyway so I usually require minimal effort to completely discount the irritating ones. I've had to work with and get work from very difficult people and I've had all kinds of abuse hurled at me. I've always been relatively unaffected by the bad behaviour of others; however, I will avoid them if possible.
a.k.a. I/O
I tend to try to give people the benefit of the doubt at first, then I wonder if I did anything. Then I have to tell myself, "why would it be you? maybe they are the ones that are wrong." I can't do the silent treatment, so I remove myself from them so I don't blow up and start an argument.
There was someone on here I had to put on ignore today because I can't not say something to them. I wish I could just ignore haters without needing a feature to do it for me...
I keep to myself more and avoid them. I will try and be nice but if they try to push me, I become curt. Very curt. I had a manager I didn’t like and oh boy people saw a different MissDucki. I but hard boundaries and always tried to put space between me and him. It is very rare that I dislike people and I just tend to dislike them more if I have to interact with them. The dislike often goes away after a while and I feel neutral. It’s only when I am forced to interact with them I become sour. If I can’t, I will and can make it known but that is very very rare and I have to be really pushed to do that. I like to try and keep my treatment for people as pretty equal as I can.
Blocking/ignoring is normal and healthy IMO. Especially online with so many views and personalities I think it’s rather healthy. It’s good to keep personal boundaries and to make sure you feel emotionally stable. Especially on a website that you enjoy.Quote:
Originally Posted by Eudaimonia
Idk.
More than it being about dislike, it's about mental health sometimes to let go of someone.
Be it only mentaly or full on physical distance.
There's one person who I thought was so detestable that my brain stopped recording his existance. We were in the same class but I never "saw" him again.
Much easier if I can have facts as to why they did wrong, more so than just an unease.
I need to listen to such feelings more.
I'd say nowadays it depends on whether I care strategically and whether I think they're going anywhere they can annoy me or cause problems for me