If functions had genders/sexual orientations
:Te:: Heterosexual male. (kek)
:Ti:: Bisexual male. (because its still logical and a little harsh but more playful and gay than Te.)
:Ne:: Transsexuality/Bi female. (multiple external possibilities, drag queens/jesters etc.)
:Ni:: Asexual/Demisexual. (when taken into a vacuum not sexual at all, more asexual. Clear/pure/holy/like vanilla ice cream but Se lights it up.)
:Se:: Pansexual. (not subtle, obvious. pure/heavy with its energy. Unmistakable.)
:Si:: Lesbian. (works hard in background, unpretentious, backbone of society.)
:Fe:: Gay male. (another kek)
:Fi:: Straight female. (females being naturally selective about who their mates are is very Fi. Also of course dualizes with straight male Te.)