Lead Function Will Barge In Whether You Want It To or Not
I get distracted pretty easily but I noticed the things that barged into my thoughts had a particular flavor. Fi flavors...
And you know what? It's really, really hard to make this not happen. Even when trying to focus on activities where Fi input would NOT be helpful at all, it finds a way to elbow in some room for itself in my mind. And as I was thinking on this it dawned on me that other types, even if just as distractable as I am, would not be suffering the same way! Anyone without Fi in the ego block would not be getting these thoughts over and over. Even doing unrelated tasks. Completely unrelated.
I think it might be a good way to identify types. What kind of thinking your mind wanders into as you're doing your daily routines. If you're an introverted type, where does your mind go when your eyes glaze over? I took some notes and tracked some examples from my work to get a better idea how this works for the Fi folk. Cause Fi ain't got no place in hell when stocking shelves.
Here are my notes...
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Watched someone insert card into chip reader and not select "debit" for a while. Just stared at the screen. So on my screen the alert was on the default credit. It only changes to debit when they pick debit on their screen. Reminded me of the time that homeless fat lady in layers of scrabby clothes fumbled with a bunch of different stolen cards and was asking me how come this one specific card doesn't give the option for credit. She had paused too. She tried to get me to help her make a credit transaction -_-. And she just sat there too. Staring at the screen. Wasting time fumbling with her purse.
Lady if these are your cards shouldn't you just know? The brief memory briefly pissed me off lol
Yes... it is easy to see why Fi types stay mad for so long isn't it...
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Caught a wiff of my own sweaty body and randomly thought of Ahmed the supervisor "confronting" me about that, and me responding with "I've been busy." If escalated, busy working hard outside before work. It's very hot in California right now. Got very annoyed with the thought of me having sweat smells yet having no time to wash off because of work looming.
There seems to be a theme of people making certain judgements and how to combat or react to those judgements... let's keep looking at examples.
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Saw an inflatable toy sword and shield set on clearance. Half off! Nice. Thought of my little nephews. How they would probably really like that. Too bad my sister is such a bitch or else I'd buy it for them. Too bad!
I need to stop thinking about her lol. I'm getting better I swear.
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Saw a lady with a strange spaghetti strap top. It had a tiny zipper pocket right above the left boob. Strange. What could you possibly use that for? Her lil daughter showed up right from the aisle the mom had come from. Had an extremely brief image of the mom putting something small and thin in it (Mint? Condom?). Mental scenario conjures up. At home daughter confronting mom "stealing is wrong." Mom threatens daughter. Something something you're my daughter living under my roof who do you think you are something something. Daughter replies "Me being your daughter doesn't change that that's wrong."
This one was notable with how elaborate it was. Most aren't like this. Theme of the stronger mental interruptions seem to be when some value judgement is in conflict with how something else is. And how that causes friction. Something has to give way.
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Was carrying on each hand 1 gallon of very cold milk to the front of the store. Hands numbing up. Noted a customer looking at me meaningfully. Imagined scenario where she asks for help and I detour to find a place to set down the two milks before engaging her. Imagined her complaining about me taking a bit of time to set my own things straight first instead of helping her right away. Imagined explaining the situation to the managers.
In, uh, customer service there's always this tug-a-war going on inside. You're always doing something. Setting something straight. Always always in the middle of something when a customer interrupts you to get some help. And there's this conflict. Whether to let the thing you're doing completely hanging or to do something really quick. Take a bit of time to tie an end to it. Put it in a natural state of pause instead of just slamming the breaks. But a few people take offense to you literally not just dropping everything to go assist them. Always this conflict inside.
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They said it couldn't be done! They said a Beta run would be madness! That no one has pulled it off before. Imagined the sea of rules heavy forums full of passive aggressive and sneaky people who get away with toeing the line and throwing up enough gray to camouflage their actions. Imagined Betas not putting up with that crap.
Sometimes recent conversations can dominate the thoughts for long afterwards.
OKAY
I'm looking at my notes here and a lot of these thoughts feel a lot like the previous thoughts already here. So I'm truncating things and getting to things a bit different.
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Saw a korean dad with wispy, balding hair walk with his son. His son had spikey hair like Play-Do strained through some thin holes. The hair is there but it's not really "thick". Can easily picture it thinning like his father's. Thought about hereditary rules with grandparents also balding and how you can use that observation to know if the grandchild is guaranteed to bald early in life as well.
I was actually trying to practice Se in the store when I had this thought. Seemed different from the others! Ti perhaps? Is this what Ti thinking looks like mayhaps? I dunno!
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Thought: Don't grab her wispy flowy shirt to see what it feels like. Don't do it! Brief image of fat stout black young lady reacting badly.
Lol. Let's not try to practice Se to indiscriminately. Let's let this Fi thought get in the way.
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Taking a picture of that topless doll made me kinda happy
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