What's your favorite instinct stacking?

It probably depends on how they relate to you (as a friend, partner, relative...).

But on average, what stacking appeals to you the most in another person, in contrast to the other variant combinations?

Perhaps you also noticed that a specific enneagram type comes with it, mention this as well.



To me it's either SO/SX or SP/SX. Fellow SX firsts - too intense. Ideally, it's like how I relate to @niffer but in general, secondary SX is better for me and them somehow. The SX lasts - not intimate enough, respectively. If I had to decide between the two of them, heart triad SO/SX wins by slight margin. My SP/SX favorites usually coincide with head triad types. Maybe SO/SP makes the top three complete, I get on well with them and find what they say sympathetic in many cases.

@Medusa

Friendship-wise, SO/SX is clearly the most enjoyable and fitting stacking for me. It feels the most natural and effortless.

Romantic relationship-wise,

SO/SX can fall a bit short because of the identical strengths and weaknesses, which can cause some frustration, especially if one person becomes more unhealthy. And I'd rather be with someone who can complement my weakness(es).

That's why romantically, I tend to prefer SX first or even SO/SP.

SO/SP is an interesting and mysterious stacking to me, because it seems both so similar and different at the same time. On a closer level, it is probably not that great, though. So I would not choose SO/SP as my main favourite romantic stacking.

I find it difficult to choose between SX/SO and SX/SP. Both have their positives and negatives which can please or annoy me in different ways. For a more stable long-term relationship with children, SX/SP (or SO/SP for that matter) is probably better. The good SP can be helpful, because once I get unhealthy my SP usually gets sorely neglected or OCD. And it could be nice to have someone who can bring me on a good stable path in that regard and handle other SP-related matters for our household. However, the SO blindspot could be isolating. That's why I could only see myself with an SX/SP who happened to be more inclined to social interactions.* SX/SO people have the appealing strong SO instinct and SX intensity/romanticism, but they lack the SP like myself, which could be problematic when it comes to the stable-married-life-with-kids-scenario.

So I remain slightly undecided here, perhaps slightly favouring an extroverted and/or more sociable SX/SP over SX/SO.

All in all: SO/SX (friendship) and SX/SP (relationship).

*More "sociable" Sx/Sp people tend to be either 2, 3, 6w7, or 7w6 core and/or be ExFx.

Hi. I would answer more definitively but I don't feel I have a strong handle on the theory yet. I would agree that sx first or second is probably important to me for closer relationships. I think it somehow encapsulates the way I connect with people. Not-as-sx or sx last people can be compelling to me in a different way... I think they make me feel like I kind of have to look harder for the hidden sx in them deep down. But I think they may find it annoying when I do this after a while and I get tired of putting so much effort in.

Yeah it'd be really hard to bring out what they just don't prioritize and it would be uncomfortable for both, that's like asking an LII for :Se:.

Definitely so/sx for friendships so far.. like I even have sp/sx friends but they are not that close and I like to strive with friends towards fulfilling social-causes.. I like feeling the drive to 'rise in ranks' with my friends, who are also focused on this.. like they naturally get who I am and just like me they try to become respected members of society through what they do and what they later wanna do in life.
A sp/sx friend and me went seperate ways, because eventually we wouldn't be on the same wavelength, like I admit I want to connect with many people especially 'high-ranking' people or people whom I deem cool/likeable/interested in the same stuff I am.. and she didn't seem to care and I didn't like her friends, so it was a bit hard to stay close because we went very different paths socially.

Romance wise I really have no idea.. I don't think I care that much when it comes to relationships at this point of life.. but sx-last might be as stated too distant.. but who knows whom I will meet and whom will swoon me anyways?
I have a so/sp friend and while we have some things in common I feel there is a certain turn off for me when it comes to so/sp people, like it feels you are easily replacable and just there to secure their place in the group. Two other people I know in real life.. and whom I suspect to be this stacking have the exact same vibe to them, like if you aren't good/useful enough they will drop you.
I never romantically met a sx/sp man IRL yet (at least consciously recognising one).. so gotta see if that is something I like.. but so-last people have this earth-bound feeling to me, like they feel like 'local' people to me. And I would be scared to feel caged or deprived of my opportunities. Maybe like Cassandra stated I would consider someone so-last for marriage? And I also like sx/so people, but their love lives seem intense.. woah.

My EIE roommate might be sx/sp.. we have a bit of a different focus in life, but I think it would be somehow possible to partially incorporate her in some stuff I do.. sx/sp people are interested in getting to know people after all.. and the ones I identified as sx/sp so far seemed to be popular actually. Like I saw them having a big and stable circle of friends actually. But they seem to be less interested in mingling with new folks.. at least that's what I think I noticed, not sure.

It's so fitting that SO/SX already appears to champion the popularity contest :lol: Social first, synflow, SX in right doses --> makes sense actually! IRL I know a lot of ethical types of this stacking that embody the popular guy/girl archetype to a T, especially the extroverts.

I think on the other hand, SP/SX is the unpopular insider tip. You can see it on the forum, they sit in the shadows a bit and tend to have few bonds with members, but very special and strong ones. Meanwhile, SO/SX is very adapted and broadcasts themselves so they will often be liked instantly.

I'd say on this forum, SP/SX is actually more popular. :p Which stacking is your favourite largely depends on your own. Most people on here are SO blindspot, followed by SX/SO. They just haven't responded to this thread yet. Likely because they don't feel too confident in the instincts theory yet.

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Originally Posted by Medusa

I'd say on this forum, SP/SX is actually more popular. :p Which stacking is your favourite largely depends on your own. Most people on here are SO blindspot, followed by SX/SO. They just haven't responded to this thread yet. Likely because they don't feel too confident in the instincts theory yet.

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This forum is another level there ikr, the question applies to all people in your life so, anyway. We'll see! But I do experience SO/SX more as universally relatable to all in some way, by their very nature. One important factor when selecting is likely flow, niche people like niche ones and vice versa for synstackings. You may not explicitly say you like them but one's clique usually gives it away :lol:

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Originally Posted by Chae

It's so fitting that SO/SX already appears to champion the popularity contest :lol: Social first, synflow, SX in right doses --> makes sense actually! IRL I know a lot of ethical types of this stacking that embody the popular guy/girl archetype to a T, especially the extroverts.

I think on the other hand, SP/SX is the unpopular insider tip. You can see it on the forum, they sit in the shadows a bit and tend to have few bonds with members, but very special and strong ones. Meanwhile, SO/SX is very adapted and broadcasts themselves so they will often be liked instantly.

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My mother is ESE-Fe and probably so/sx and e2.. she is like.. the most popular person I ever met.. I barely if almost never met someone who didn't like her. She da queen bee and very kind on top of that.. it's hard to dislike her. So I agree with your theory. :p

I as an introvert and Ni-dom though and more of a natural outsider I have hurt my 'so' in the past.. Ti-Ha can be very annoying for people and being a dramatic Beta-bitch can stir up lots of drama. But I always was able to relate to the popular and unpopular and gain the favour of people of both 'groups'. I just honestly don't like most people, so it is hard for me to stay focused on people, since I am not interested in most of them (in certain cases to protect myself socially though I indeed become interested in a person, whom I usually wouldn't have been interested in). It's true that so/sx has a hard time focusing on people they aren't interested in. But I do have very special and deep bonds with two other so/sx's. I always struggled with social aspects in the past.. but was able to control it since some intense experiences and feel better about it since then. I met quite a few Ni-doms that said they were told there was something wrong with the way they are/think and I think so-first Ni-doms feel thus especially pressured (just my own theory though).

Someone in the so/sx thread stated that so/sx people will indeed show who actually is in their favour. And that is very true.. I am very loyal to my squad.. AND someone else said so/sp are usually the ones who initially and naturally are more popular (I can kinda see it), but so/sx has the potential to become ultimately popular. We also value life-long friendships aka 'the bestie'.
I could see so/sp as politicians or yes I even know a young German actress who might be so/sp.. I feel they are more the sophisticated, resource-focused social people.. so/sx are more part of the common 'people'.. more likeable in general.. more grounded and indeed very 'human'.

But we still are aristocratic bitches when it comes to close friends. Like I am very picky with my close friends.

Yes sp/sx people seem very 'real'.. my former friend didn't really care about my social status at all.. she just accepted me.. very tolerant folks.

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Originally Posted by MaviTilki

My mother is ESE-Fe and probably so/sx and e2.. she is like.. the most popular person I ever met.. I barely if almost never met someone who didn't like her. She da queen bee and very kind on top of that.. it's hard to dislike her. So I agree with your theory. :p

I as an introvert and Ni-dom though and more of a natural outsider I have hurt my 'so' in the past.. Ti-Ha can be very annoying for people and being a dramatic Beta-bitch can stir up lots of drama. But I always was able to relate to the popular and unpopular and gain the favour of people of both 'groups'. I just honestly don't like most people, so it is hard for me to stay focused on people, since I am not interested in most of them (in certain cases to protect myself socially though I indeed become interested in a person, whom I usually wouldn't have been interested in). It's true that so/sx has a hard time focusing on people they aren't interested in. But I do have very special and deep bonds with two other so/sx's. I always struggled with social aspects in the past.. but was able to control it since some intense experiences and feel better about it since then. I met quite a few Ni-doms that said they were told there was something wrong with the way they are/think and I think so-first Ni-doms feel thus especially pressured (just my own theory though).

Someone in the so/sx thread stated that so/sx people will indeed show whom actually is in their favour. And that is very true.. I am very loyal to my squad.. AND someone else said so/sp are usualy the ones who initially and naturally are more popular (I can kinda see it), but so/sx has the potential to become ultimately popular. We also value life-long friendships aka 'the bestie'.
I could see so/sp as politicians or yes I even know a young German actress who might be so/sp.. I feel they are more the sophisticated, resource-focused social people.. so/sx are more part of the common 'people'.. more likeable in general.. more grounded and indeed very 'human'.

But we still are aristocratic bitches when it comes to close friends. Like I am very picky with my close friends.

Yes sp/sx people seem very 'real'.. my former friend didn't really care about my social status at all.. she just accepted me.. very tolerant folks.

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I know a gay guy with that combination as well. Biggest social network at our university! It shows that he hasn't integrated 4 yet, he seems to have no separate agenda on his own but really just consists of the needs of others - impossibly compassionate and kind man, it's so unreal. What's her wing? He's 2w3, it adds a "polished" element.

IEI really is in between there I guess, so is your enneagram variant. Social 4, that's quite a paradox. Yeah, you won't people-please like a 2 would so it's understandable you'd make bigger distinguishments, also based on the aristocratic group thinking (hence also your loyalty). They probably were 4s as well, when they hear "something's wrong with you" they take it personally the most.

Very good separation of SO/SP and SO/SX. The secondary SX comes out and will keep the persons hooked. SO/SP is too economical for the long run. SX/SO and SO/SP are the god tiers of the stackings, the uberhumans. SO/SX is what connects us all. Not like the SX/SO superstar or SO/SP politician, or maybe even the SX/SP Magician who's also a bit out of this world, take Rihanna.

Yes, I also like that they don't seem to care one bit. Except for their one-to-one contacts, that makes them so unique and grounded.

Sp last for friends and sp/sx as a lover.

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Originally Posted by Daddy Lessons

Sp last for friends and sp/sx as a lover.

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Yeeeesss this is the essence, agreed - I would handle it like that as well. SP/SX is also a common XLI stacking so it makes sense.

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Originally Posted by Chae

Yeeeesss this is the essence, agreed - I would handle it like that as well. SP/SX is also a common XLI stacking so it makes sense.

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Yes. 548 would be nice as tritype too since I feel like that's the enneagram version of sp/sx.

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Originally Posted by Daddy Lessons

Yes. 548 would be nice as tritype too since I feel like that's the enneagram version of sp/sx.

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That's actually a classic ILI tritype. :thumbsup:

Sx/so=sp/sx > so/sx. Least likable so/sp and most foreign sp/so.

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Originally Posted by Daddy Lessons

Sp last for friends and sp/sx as a lover.

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Sp/sx is my favorite, too. It complements my sx/so. Good attraction, keeps thing from getting too crazy.

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Originally Posted by Medusa

That's actually a classic ILI tritype. :thumbsup:

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:love::mermaid::hello:

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Originally Posted by darya

Sx/so=sp/sx > so/sx. Least likable so/sp and most foreign sp/so.

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I totally agree. I find so/sp disgustingly cold and snobby and sp/so is just too different.

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Originally Posted by Adam Strange

Sp/sx is my favorite, too. It complements my sx/so. Good attraction, keeps thing from getting too crazy.

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Yeah, they bring the brakes to me and I show them how to live a little. Plenty of ESIs with that stacking as well. :)

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Originally Posted by Daddy Lessons

Yes. 548 would be nice as tritype too since I feel like that's the enneagram version of sp/sx.

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Cool, 5w6 as a core type or 5w4? I prefer the 6-wing, and a 9/2 fix. I had my own strong and weak e-types in mind so together it covers the entire circle.

SP/SX 5 is the castle... extremely hard to love. They fear intimacy and intrusion. That's why you either need some SEE Elvis to put on a show they can analyse or the IEE Psychologist cracking their code to open up :lol: Or SEE's wrecking ball for the castle walls :whistle:

https://pics.me.me/sometimes-we-put-...le-6738584.png

Interesting observation: you chose your integration point as your dual, while you have your dual's integration point as a wing. Damn boy, this is a good move.

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Originally Posted by Daddy Lessons

I find so/sp disgustingly cold

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Yup, lizardly.

What makes So/Sp "colder" than Sp/So to you?

Or are they both equally "cold" because of SX blindspot?

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Originally Posted by Chae

Cool, 5w6 as a core type or 5w4? I prefer the 6-wing, and a 9/2 fix. I had my own strong and weak e-types in mind so together it covers the entire circle.

SP/SX 5 is the castle... extremely hard to love. They fear intimacy and intrusion. That's why you either need some SEE Elvis to put on a show they can analyse or the IEE Psychologist cracking their code to open up :lol: Or SEE's wrecking ball for the castle walls :whistle:

https://pics.me.me/sometimes-we-put-...le-6738584.png

Interesting observation: you chose your integration point as your dual, while you have your dual's integration point as a wing. Damn boy, this is a good move.

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4 wing of course :halo:

I'm fine other tritypes too, like 9 instead of 8 and such.

Yeah, regarding the observation, I think it totally fits for a reason. I've told a few people who were my duals before that I wish I could be more passive and content with watching like them.

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Originally Posted by Medusa

What makes So/Sp "colder" than Sp/So to you?

Or are they both equally "cold" because of SX blindspot?

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They are focused on the social world and will basically do what they need to to maintain their position and disregard close relationships or intense feelings. They are social but they struggle to actually get close to people. And many of them just have cold and haughty attitudes for some reason, even the ones on here (won't name unless you need the examples).

Stereotypically, I think of sx/so and so/sp as the "EIE" stackings - they're both social and intense but in different ways. Sx/so is the more raw, recklessly revolutionary kind and so/sp is like the ice cold queen who is too good to interact with the peasants. I think of so/sp as a paradox in many ways.

for friends: anything as long as it is not sx-last, specially not so/sp since I am so-last
for a lover: I think I gravitate more to sx-first, sx/so > sx/sp

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Originally Posted by Daddy Lessons

4 wing of course :halo:

I'm fine other tritypes too, like 9 instead of 8 and such.

Yeah, regarding the observation, I think it totally fits for a reason. I've told a few people who were my duals before that I wish I could be more passive and content with watching like them.

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*poetically* 5w4... bridging the heart and the mind... :love:

The gut center isn't too important among ILIs either. :thumbsup:

Mh yeah, and they could use your assertion. Swapping souls through duality :lol: That happens with instincts as well: SP first teaches SP last quite a lot, much like SO second moderates SO last.

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Originally Posted by Daddy Lessons

They are focused on the social world and will basically do what they need to to maintain their position and disregard close relationships or intense feelings. They are social but they struggle to actually get close to people. And many of them just have cold and haughty attitudes for some reason, even the ones on here (won't name unless you need the examples).

Stereotypically, I think of sx/so and so/sp as the "EIE" stackings - they're both social and intense but in different ways. Sx/so is the more raw, recklessly revolutionary kind and so/sp is like the ice cold queen who is too good to interact with the peasants. I think of so/sp as a paradox in many ways.

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I agree. And sp/so has more of a earthy, every day guy, slightly matronly/patronly feel, which seems warmer and less aloof than so/sp.

I've concluded that SX/SP would be slightly better for a romantic relationship for me (long-term wise etc.), though at the moment I am really not in the right mindset to be with someone who is SO blindspot, being not particularly healthy in the SO area atm. I feel like I both need SO help and SP stability... That might explain why I've been more attracted to some SO/SP guys recently.

I feel like I could only be with an SX/SP guy without much trouble if I was healthier SO-wise... Then, his SO blindspot wouldn't be an issue.

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Originally Posted by Daddy Lessons

so/sp is like the ice cold queen who is too good to interact with the peasants.

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Wouldn't that be more SP-first-like? EIE SO/SP does mingle, just in the circles profitable to them. It's still :Fe: in charge there unless the aristocracy is really extreme. Through some reclusive type influence for instance. Though EIE was just an example to describe the spirit yeah.

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Originally Posted by Chae

*poetically* 5w4... bridging the heart and the mind... :love:

The gut center isn't too important among ILIs either. :thumbsup:

Mh yeah, and they could use your assertion. Swapping souls through duality :lol: That happens with instincts as well: SP first teaches SP last quite a lot, much like SO second moderates SO last.

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Yeah, I love hearing tips from @Starfall on things for example.

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Originally Posted by darya

I agree. And sp/so has more of a earthy, every day guy, slightly matronly/patronly feel, which seems warmer and less aloof than so/sp.

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Exactly.

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Originally Posted by Chae

Wouldn't that be more SP-first-like? EIE SO/SP does mingle, just in the circles profitable to them. It's still :Fe: in charge there unless the aristocracy is really extreme. Through some reclusive type influence for instance. Though EIE was just an example to describe the spirit yeah.

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No, sp first is just within themselves they don't normally exclude people on purpose unless it's an sp/sx who doesn't want to deal with someone's shit for practical reasons. So/sp is kind of excluding without even trying because it's just the nature of their instincts, compared to so/sx which has trouble excluding people and will often let people go too far with things.

hmm.. i dunno. in general sx-first & sp/sx, i think. because these are the only stackings i can sustain a personal one-on-one bond with. so/sx can be comfortable, but after 2 min. of interaction i already feel the need to occupy myself with other stuff. i'm not really interested in the social instinct in others, the less the better ... even sp/so and sx/so with too much focus on SO can be too much. (though it's not negative with so-seconds, it's just that interaction feels a bit pointless) sometimes i venture into sx-last spheres to somehow get a few things in my life on track, which i otherwise neglect, but it's very difficult to have a personal bond with an sx-last and that's very uncomfortable for me. also for romantic relationships i find sp/sos intimacy issues unappealing. so/sp is easier than sp/so for friendships or even (romantic) relationships, because they can actually still treat you like an individual person (rather than an 'audience' like sp/so sometimes seems to interact with others), but it's one of the most dysfunctional relationship dynamics for me. it always feels toxic.

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Originally Posted by Daddy Lessons

Yeah, I love hearing tips from @Starfall on things for example.

No, sp first is just within themselves they don't normally exclude people on purpose unless it's an sp/sx who doesn't want to deal with someone's shit for practical reasons. So/sp is kind of excluding without even trying because it's just the nature of their instincts, compared to so/sx which has trouble excluding people and will often let people go too far with things.

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Great :thumbsup:

I would suggest SP/SX as the ice queen for that very reason: self-occupied and filtering people through SX: "too busy with myself to deal with peasantry (that I'm not even half aware of) - but this one's interesting, I like them. Gotta let them in for once, it helps my well-being". Take Harrison Ford as an example. I do see how they don't do it on purpose, but the ice is coming through you know, they come across like it. SO/SP's filter is their secondary instinct which stops what the social instinct first adapts to. Like the Hillary Clinton method. Yeah yeah smile at everything all social issues are important I advocate for you all I'm the beacon of society... but ba-boom, here is where I draw the line for myself. The exclusion doesn't occur until a certain point. SO/SX yes, that's precise.

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Originally Posted by Chae

I would suggest SP/SX as the ice queen for that very reason: self-occupied and filtering people through SX: "too busy with myself to deal with peasantry (that I'm not even half aware of) - but this one's interesting, I like them. Gotta let them in for once, it helps my well-being".

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LOL at the accuracy. Even tho I don't feel icy inside or anything.

I can't answer the op's question because I don't type a lot of people's instincts, even with my inner circle I'm only guessing but if I'm right it seems I end up closer to other sp firsts statistically more often, for whatever reason.

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Originally Posted by lungs

LOL at the accuracy. Even tho I don't feel icy inside or anything.

I can't answer the op's question because I don't type a lot of people's instincts, even with my inner circle I'm only guessing but if I'm right it seems I end up closer to other sp firsts statistically more often, for whatever reason.

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The icy effect is more on the outside for the general people (--> SO) who don't get through to SP/SX. That's why instinct compatibility puts SP/SX and SX/SO together, SX is so energetic and frankly quite obtrusive, it really brings the heat. And they melt through SP naturally, getting to the secondary SX or SP/SX with ease.

SP and SP go well together, both are extremely stable. The most durable relationships are usually between SP/SX and SP/SO. Your :Fi: certainly plays a role as well, your affections don't just change in a volatile SX or SO way. So, it needs a secure bank, and what is more secure than self-preservation?

To some extent, I'd like to put SX/SP high on the favorite list if I didn't know how we evolve. There is something so exciting about this instinct combination: going all out! But always ready to use the breaks. The clash of their two drives is astounding.

And what it means to others is secondary, just the thrill and the self-nurture is what counts. It creates the most interesting personalities and unforgettable intimate partners.

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Originally Posted by Chae

Great :thumbsup:

I would suggest SP/SX as the ice queen for that very reason: self-occupied and filtering people through SX: "too busy with myself to deal with peasantry (that I'm not even half aware of) - but this one's interesting, I like them. Gotta let them in for once, it helps my well-being". Take Harrison Ford as an example. I do see how they don't do it on purpose, but the ice is coming through you know, they come across like it. SO/SP's filter is their secondary instinct which stops what the social instinct first adapts to. Like the Hillary Clinton method. Yeah yeah smile at everything all social issues are important I advocate for you all I'm the beacon of society... but ba-boom, here is where I draw the line for myself. The exclusion doesn't occur until a certain point. SO/SX yes, that's precise.

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Yeah. It's also a matter of personal outlook as well, I'm sure some people would see sp/sx icier than others depending on how well they can take that type of person. I'm sure most people would find an so/sp more easy to deal with than an sp/sx, etc.

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Originally Posted by Chae

To some extent, I'd like to put SX/SP high on the favorite list if I didn't know how we evolve. There is something so exciting about this instinct combination: going all out! But always ready to use the breaks. The clash of their two drives is astounding.

And what it means to others is secondary, just the thrill and the self-nurture is what counts. It creates the most interesting personalities and unforgettable intimate partners.

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The attraction is there. I prefer sp/sx just because I know that with sx + sx there would be little stopping us. :)

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Originally Posted by Daddy Lessons

The attraction is there. I prefer sp/sx just because I know that with sx + sx there would be little stopping us. :)

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I'd be surprised if it was absent since SX is pure attraction :lol: Same, SX/SO being a loose cannon needs a grounded (SP) influence (SX). Two SX leads up close... that's a trip.

I don't find any stacking inherently "cold". Dismissively attached people are "cold", not stackings.

Though I understand how the SX blindspot could be perceived as "cold" on an intimate level. Typically SX blindspot people won't ever yearn for or attempt to create that intensely "merged" connection with another human being. There won't ever be a real "merging" going on. They can love their partner a lot, but in terms of intensity it might not come across much like that at all. And this can seem "cold". I wouldn't make a difference between So/Sp and Sp/So in that respect.

Regarding Sp/Sx, I actually find they can be a rather "warm" stacking.

It depends on the instinct we are focusing on. I find So/Sp is warm with their SO instinct, they can be very gracious, inviting, sociable, etc. Sp/So can also be warm with their SO, but in my experience they are are actually warmer through their SP. Cooking for the family tends to fill them with joy. Sp/Sx can also be warm through their SP like that, or they are "hot" with their SX. ;) It all depends, imo.

P.S: Sp/Sx can be cold in regard to SO related things, like Chae pointed out earlier and lungs confirmed that.

How is sx/so > sp/sx different than se > ni?
Like I get that it's different but the way you guys are talking it sounds sort of similar and I'm curious how you'd spell it out.

.

About the cold/warm topic - the fervor of SO/SP and SP/SO just comes out differently in other areas yes. SX practices are eschewed in an unconscious or insecure way. For instance, when you're out there talking for/to the people and sparking a movement like MLK (SO/SP), you have no time, capacity, and nerve for dim light chamber passions with a spouse. You'd rather rest and recharge to regain strength when you come home (SP). So it's the neglect and absolutely essential use of secondary SP or SO (for SP/SO) that can drive SX stackings nuts when involved with sexual lasts.

What I would mention is that SP isn't entirely unimportant in intimacy. While SX generates the chemistry, charisma, and all the mating efforts or skills, self-preservation is still reproduction and making sure one's body feels attended to. No doubt SP/SO can accommodate in many erotic ways, especially as a sensing type. There's quite an earthy appeal in that for romance and lust, while in friendships they can show the utmost care that SX could never demonstrate as the latter will look to get under another person's skin instead. SX can backfire very quickly while SP may really make it work. Combined with the social instinct that looks for the intent in another, it blends quite nicely. That is to say, SO/SP and SP/SO don't really play games which can be very enjoyable.

In this post they described so/sx this way:

so/sx - The World of Humans - multichannel communication and attraction, the festival of the four corners of the earth

and

So/sx Human realm: humans suffer from hunger, thirst, heat, cold, separation from friends, being attacked by enemies, not getting what they want, and getting what they don't want. They also suffer from the general sufferings of birth, old age, sickness and death. Yet the human realm is considered to be the most suitable realm for practicing the dharma, because humans are not completely distracted by pleasure (like the gods or demi-gods) or by pain and suffering (like the beings in the lower realms).

I also think that as @Chae mentioned the so/sx stacking is the most relatable.. we basically connect all the stackings with each other and appear the most 'human' in the way we approach life. I find it interesting how they said that 'humans' (here representating the so/sx stacking) are the most suitable to practice the dharma because they aren't distracted by the things the other stackings are.

I don't find that I am the most relatable, but I am also a Type 4, so nvm. :p

sp/sx 4

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Originally Posted by Within

sp/sx 4

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That's like half of all members. :P

P.S: I am being facetious if you can't tell... But seriously, a lot of people on here are Sp/Sx and 4 fix.

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Originally Posted by Medusa

I don't find that I am the most relatable, but I am also a Type 4, so nvm. :p

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I let myself be re-typed by other enneagram people here (plus VIing me). They believe I am a healthy 4w3 (that is very the ambitious part is coming from with the w3 they said) thus I relate a lot to e1 in a way. But the more I read about e4 and the more I looked back and many things I used to do in the past were indeed a similar pattern as described.. especially when I used to be unhealthier. I might have e1 in my tritype though, gotta look through it again.. but I definitely don't have the same tritype as you, Aylen and Starfall so far.

No matter the e4 thing though I definitely can relate to anyone and everyone if I want to and so does my so/sx mother. I also always had at least 1-2 friends from whom I could base my social interactions on. I have a somewhat bouncy ball vibe to me as soon as I am amped up through social interaction.. very fiery and bouncy in my interactions in general, somewhat hyper almost. Social interaction and appreciation can feel like a blood-rush for me. I can also be very flirty with people I feel comfortable with.

I also somewhat relate to the "best friend" role of the so/sx.

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Originally Posted by Medusa

That's like half of all members. :P

P.S: I am being facetious if you can't tell... But seriously, a lot of people on here are Sp/Sx and 4 fix.

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The OP was not very specific either.

P.S: I couldn't tell.

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Originally Posted by Chae

Great :thumbsup:

I would suggest SP/SX as the ice queen for that very reason: self-occupied and filtering people through SX: "too busy with myself to deal with peasantry (that I'm not even half aware of) - but this one's interesting, I like them. Gotta let them in for once, it helps my well-being". Take Harrison Ford as an example. I do see how they don't do it on purpose, but the ice is coming through you know, they come across like it. SO/SP's filter is their secondary instinct which stops what the social instinct first adapts to. Like the Hillary Clinton method. Yeah yeah smile at everything all social issues are important I advocate for you all I'm the beacon of society... but ba-boom, here is where I draw the line for myself. The exclusion doesn't occur until a certain point. SO/SX yes, that's precise.

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With me it depends with the exclusion thing.. I am not as well meaning as my mother who really seems to be including with everyone.. but my IEI so/sp friend seems to be fairer with people in general, more including.. everything seems very balanced.. problem is.. you don't feel any special feelings/positions which can be very hurtful when you thought you were closer but you are just treated like everyone else.. maybe even less well. :p

I've excluded people I really didn't like or who did something shitty to me. But Beta might be less chill about this stuff than Alpha.

This isn't really going to help our case in terms of being the "haughty/icy" instinctual subtype, but... Other So/Sp's, honestly. It's nice to have people who just get me. The similar priorities make communication smoother and happier.

I also like Sp/So for their similar lack of interest in Sx, and I like So/Sx for their energy and similar interest in So, though sometimes I still feel like the Sx secondary is "too much". Sx combo'ed with Sp is interesting to me, they're a bit less exhausting than Sx + So but I'm not sure we really approve of each other deep down, especially from their end.

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Originally Posted by Stellafera

This isn't really going to help our case in terms of being the "haughty/icy" instinctual subtype, but... Other So/Sp's, honestly. It's nice to have people who just get me. The similar priorities make communication smoother and happier.

I also like Sp/So for their similar lack of interest in Sx, and I like So/Sx for their energy and similar interest in So, though sometimes I still feel like the Sx secondary is "too much". Sx combo'ed with Sp is interesting to me, they're a bit less exhausting than Sx + So but I'm not sure we really approve of each other deep down, especially from their end.

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I think sx lasts often end up with each other, it's not weird at all. Sx with sx isn't uncommon either but I notice it a lot more with sx last. Maybe they are just more likely to go with someone who understands them and supports their needs rather than trying for someone who is totally different despite any odds which sx will do.

the dysfunctional broken edgelord stackings who destroy stuff


(fyi this post is unironic)

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Originally Posted by Alioth

the dysfunctional broken edgelord stackings who destroy stuff


(fyi this post is unironic)

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There isn't one of those, just dharma, sex, and farmers. Enneagram is unfortunately not that cool.

So/Sx = Bollywood
Sx/So = Marilyn Monroe
Sp/So = Amelia Bedelia
So/Sp = MLK
Sx/Sp = Fleetwood Mac
Sp/Sx = Tentacle porn

yawns

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Originally Posted by Vespertine

I've clashed with sp-lasts because of my tendency towards stubborn circumspection...

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I think everyone does that and some people just care more about other things, even if they're stupid things to care about.

Sp-last is probably just something like Death Before Dishonor in real life. I mean there's no one so unconcerned about their life they're just going to run straight through traffic. It's just favoring the social stuff before physical (and private mental/emotional? this is not clear in enneagram theory, which is why I can't take it seriously) existence.

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Originally Posted by Wyrd

Sp-last is probably just something like Death Before Dishonor in real life. I mean there's no one so unconcerned about their life they're just going to run straight through traffic. It's just favoring the social stuff before physical (and private mental/emotional? this is not clear in enneagram theory, which is why I can't take it seriously) existence.

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sp-last is not seeking death. it's a survival strategy as well. (except in unhealthy, self-destructive versions, but these probably apply to every stacking.) and might be even geared towards survival of a bigger social unit (including the self) rather than just the immediate self. (e.g. in so/sx, sx/so is more radical in its expression, i think)

sp/so

Ya well. I think everyone just has their own images and experiences tied towards certain concepts.

You know people, where I grew up, who also took care.

Story time. Around January or February, you know when the snow is this muddy gray, I forgot my keys and stood outside all like OMG, FUCK NO, P-L-E-A-H-S-E. So I was lounging around, waiting for my parents to come home. From the other side I see someone waving from the other building and from the distance it looked like a man. I’m all like ‘Nah… I’ve seen it on the news’ and run to the backside of the house. So some time later an old lady approaches me and asks me ‘Have you forgotten your keys? I live on the other side and you don’t have to stand outside the cold, you can come in.’ And I’m like 'I want to call someone'. She was ok with it and we went to her flat, were I could sit on the couch and watch TV with her husband. It was very warm and comfy and he was like ‘we always watch from here, when your dad parks the van and everything and we are always very impressed’. And I was telling him how I thought his wife looked like a man from afar and that was why I was hiding and he started to laugh really loud and said to his wife ‘Well here you can hear, how you look like’ and she waved it off. We were watching this cooking show and the guy said sth. about TVs with smell in the future and her husband was repeating it to her and chuckled about it. She was knitting these kinda loafers and when I was going home she gave them to me.

In retrospect could have also been the end of me.

Sx secondary. No not sp sx or so sx... just sx secondary

I'm usually most attracted to guys with my own stack. I haven't dated anyone with the same stack, but the closest one was sp/sx and he was the one I got along with best. I'm open to future relationships showing me differently, but so far I'm of the opinion that sharing the same stack is what's best for me. Looks like a lot of people want different stacks from their own on here :o That's interesting! Different from a lot of the enneagram advice

Sx/Sp, Sx/So, Sp/Sx.

sp/sx but not the “I’m special and better than you” asshole variety

Mine. Too much self-loathing on this thread.

Kautherine Fauvre, in one of her youtube interviews (I'm looking for it), said that in her research examining hundreds of couples over the years, the ones that build the most stable and long-term relationships are those that have the same two primary instincts, preferably in the same order. SP is not a necessary element for marriage and family -- just consider one of the most beloved couples in Hollywood: Chris Hemsworth (8 SX/SO) and Elsa Pataky (2 SX/SO). Tritype can also matter. The more types a couple had in common, the more stability due to mutual understanding.

What's most important, however, is that each person in the couple is healthy. But even then, it's more work to bridge those gaps of understanding.

I relate to this

“ sp/sx
These people often have an earthy, mysterious quality to them. They are quietly intense, but to others may seem oblivious to the greater social world around them, instead favoring personal interests. They are slow to commit, but once they do it is with an attitude of life commitment, to the establishment of an impermeable bond. Others can be taken aback by how suddenly and completely this type can lock into them, and by the depth of understanding of the other’s condition. They attach to others at an organic, root level, in contrast to the other subvariant’s surface formality. Somewhat hesitant to enter new relationships, they instead preserve the select few enduring bonds they carefully form along the way. The sanctuary of home is of paramount concern, and this type takes particular delight in decorating their spaces to reflect their cherished sense of taste and depth. Depth and discrimination characterize this stacking.

Motivation: to live in a secure, comfortable environment where they can pursue their private interests in depth.

Familiar Roles: the mate, the mystic, the quiet supporter.”

I haven’t read that much about variant stackings, but I kind of just assume that I’m Sp/So.

Serious question: are Sxs sexier?

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Originally Posted by Poptart

I haven’t read that much about variant stackings, but I kind of just assume that I’m Sp/So.

Serious question: are Sxs sexier?

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Well it depends what you find sexy. Sx‘s seem to be able to seduce a lot easier and tap into that raw energy of passions and people that is hidden below so I can see why people find it sexy. Depends if you feel comfortable and like getting to the dirty dirty core and attaching fully. Some people don’t find that sexy, rather revolting. I thought I was sp/so (will take in considerations for this if people believe so) and I was a bit upset cause I though Sx was sexier. There was like a deep and raw earthiness that I like. Plus they kinda wanna make you in their own little world so to speak. I mean, when I think of a Sx Dom guy who wants you, I feel like he’s gonna ravish you the may you deserve to be and pampered lol. But SX can be too much at times too and it can very un-sexy quick and kinda be possessive. They just zero in on you and it can be a bit rocky too. I have a SX/So Dom friend and she „needs“ love of some type in her life. At the least a crush but she’s loyal.
Though she needs a lot of close contact.

Depends what you find sexy but I think sx or the idea of them can be objectively sexy.

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Originally Posted by Poptart

I haven’t read that much about variant stackings, but I kind of just assume that I’m Sp/So.

Serious question: are Sxs sexier?

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I think the intensity of Sx can pass for interest, and seeing someone take interest in you can be interesting.
Unless the Sx person reminds you of your mom or a serial killer, then it's downright creepy.
I think Sx is romanticized and sexualized a lot.

lmao that reminds me of when I was in an Alpha SF group... mostly sp/so types. One of them always asked of me to spare them when I shot up the school, because they thought I was going to be a serial killer.

Being silent and prone to staring down people that you are severely interested in really doesn't help with taming that energy.

I really just like to know what people are like and why they are so interesting to me. It can become quickly as an obsession as anything else, namely Socionics. :p

The main advantage that Sx-first/second types seem to have is in developing deep, rich platonic and romantic relationships. Any type can be sexy, although I suppose being sx first/second gives many average looking people a boost if they have a wild thug vibe or have a very fun, flirty personality

sx/sp and sp/sx are my favorite stackings.

I have no favourite stackings, since they all have a blindspot and are disfunctional in a way. People with healthier instinct stackings are easy to get along with. I can relate best to fellow so-firsts and the least to so-lasts, but al lot of so/sx are too scattered & self-destructive and so/sp can be haters and too socially excluding of difference when unhealthy. Unhealthy so/sp are like what flames describes here, I agree 100%:

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Originally Posted by flames

They are focused on the social world and will basically do what they need to to maintain their position and disregard close relationships or intense feelings. They are social but they struggle to actually get close to people. And many of them just have cold and haughty attitudes for some reason, even the ones on here (won't name unless you need the examples). So/sp is kind of excluding without even trying because it's just the nature of their instincts, compared to so/sx which has trouble excluding people and will often let people go too far with things.

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EDIT: I'd add that unhealthy sp firsts often seem to fuss too much about their health and bills and unhealthy sx firsts want to become attractive at all costs so they start looking like some kind of barbie/ken doll, fussing about being dumped by their SO and become incredibly 'blurtatious' in social settings. Ugh. When I get unhealthy, I become very defensive of my social status and want to turn everyone into my friends.

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Originally Posted by Poptart

Serious question: are Sxs sexier?

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No, they just believe they have to be close to their intimates or passions or they'll die. Quite literally, sx, sp and so are survival instincts. You know of those love stories where one partner commits suicide after being dumped? Sx firsts. If anything, sx first are more 'lively', 'stimulatable' and open to other's experiences, but that can easily turn into codependence. "I'll do anything for you to stay with me! I'll do some aesthetic surgery, I'll watch soccer with you even if I hate it, anything!". People with other stackings will believe that their safety lies elsewhere(bodily health, wealth or social support, friendships)., so they'll be more relaxed about sexuality, intimacy and else.

https://media3.giphy.com/media/rwbOQ...giphy.gif&ct=g