Enneagram type 4s: Can they let go of finding a "rescuer"?
I feel like this need to find a "rescuer" is making me miserable... because it's about being as miserable as possible in hopes of attracting a rescuer. So it's no wonder that I am miserable! I am purposefully making myself suffer and become more miserable. It's madness.
I don't think that there is a rescuer, there will never be, and there never was. I think that 4s will eventually have to accept this. It doesn't have to even be a person, it can be a general idea, such as love or success. 4s are willing to wait patiently, even work hard at it, to find a magical panacea that will solve everything, rid of all their flaws and defects, boost their self-esteem and self-confidence, make them feel completely loved and accepted like never before, and to basically become a perfect, whole human. But that will never happen of course. There is no magical cure for everything.
But I mean... this need for a "rescuer" is so in-grained into 4s. If I'm not careful, then I will come right back to it. I will be down and depressed in hopes of attracting a rescuer and having someone feel sorry for me. It's mostly an unconscious process. I mean it's ridiculous... 4s become depressed because they believe that depression will make people feel sorry for them and attract a rescuer, and if that rescuer isn't forthcoming, then they will get even more depressed, I mean seriously depressed as a result. It's madness!
I'm just getting sick of my own self-pity and feeling sorry for myself and being down and manically depressed. I want to be as happy as possible... and to make others as happy as possible. I want to be more like a 7, but with more depth, if possible.