Function 6 - How do You want praise?

What is your type?

Do you recognize this description by SSS?

How do You want praise? (only Function 6)

http://en.socionicasys.org/teorija/d...ost/dvumernost

"Another feature of the function 6, (also known as the "reference function") is the desire to get confirmation (preferably a praise). Asking for a praise often bypasses awareness of the person himself. It seems as if an adult person should not be asking for a praise, it looks childish to act like that (because the norms are already internalized), but the wanting of a positive feedback is still present, and it comes through to the surface somehow. Typically it can manifest in the form of non verbal signs. The person does not say bluntly: "Come on, someone praise me", but instead he pleadingly looks into your eyes, or repeats the same sentence several times, as if expecting the desired reaction, or keeps returning the conversation to the "sweet" topic over and over..."

I want to be told I have awesome aesthetic taste.

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Originally Posted by chips and underwear

I want to be told I have awesome aesthetic taste.

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Then why is that your avatar? :shock:
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Nah, I don't identify with this nor do I think it is accurate in general. People do strive to "get better at" their mobilizing function, and do feel good when they succeed at it, but it's not necessarily to be praised for it, it's just a growth area.

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Originally Posted by Eliza Thomason

Then why is that your avatar? :shock:
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The FEDS made me do it.

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Originally Posted by chips and underwear

I want to be told I have awesome aesthetic taste.

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Do you know how LII differs from EII in this regard?

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Originally Posted by Petter

Do you know how LII differs from EII in this regard?

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No I don't and why do you ask?

I think praise in regards your 6th function can be understood as a contrast with the negative aspects with your 4th function (your PoLR). e.g. for me (as a self-typed EII), I would appreciate being told that I act in a composed, moderate, and apt fashion. This is so vague that it could potentially be used to describe any IM when used optimally, but I mean it in the sense that I am in tune with my environment and am not having an overbearing influence on others or having a malign impact on my own condition.

I don't think the 6th function is concerned with verbal confirmation, its in the vital ring which means it more concerned with doing real things as opposed to speaking about it. Also its a weak function which means using this function isn't comfortable, therefore too much emphasis on it makes the individual feel uncomfortable.

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Originally Posted by chips and underwear

No I don't and why do you ask?

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My view is that LII's HA is different from EII's HA, but I need some descriptions which prove this.

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Originally Posted by Subteigh

I think praise in regards your 6th function can be understood as a contrast with the negative aspects with your 4th function (your PoLR). e.g. for me (as a self-typed EII), I would appreciate being told that I act in a composed, moderate, and apt fashion.

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What do you mean by "act"? Are you referring to physical movements or social norms?

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Originally Posted by Petter

What do you mean by "act". Are you referring to physical movements or social norms?

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I mean purely in the sense of action. (Although often, behaviour can be defined by percieved inaction).

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Originally Posted by Subteigh

I mean purely in the sense of action. (Although often, behaviour can be defined by percieved inaction).

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Action could mean that you walk gracefully (Se). But it could also mean that you know how to act at a party (Si).

Do SLIs want praise for their kindness or their ability to handle social conflicts, in your view?

Seeking praise is a quality I kinda burned out of me at a younger age. With the sixth function, Ti for me, if im analyzing something, id like to be consistent so I can catch my own bias and value misassessments. The confirmation of value, and thus the feel good-ness of the HA is fulfilled simply by being competent.

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Originally Posted by Pookie

Seeking praise is a quality I kinda burned out of me at a younger age. With the sixth function, Ti for me, if im analyzing something, id like to be consistent so I can catch my own bias and value misassessments. The confirmation of value, and thus the feel good-ness of the HA is fulfilled simply by being competent.

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What is the difference between IEI's HA and SEI's HA in this regard?

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Originally Posted by Petter

What is the difference between IEI's HA and SEI's HA in this regard?

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It's the difference between +Ti and -Ti.

I'm not positive how I desire praise but am presently still enjoying the occaisional praise of the colour scheme and product choices I so painfully put together for the new build and enjoying enthusiastic remarks about the landscaping taking shape along with the overall house design and features.

My husband likes to show people every room of the house and tell them it was his idea to put a freestanding bath in. He is so looking forward to cooking BBQ's under the alfresco when the landscaping is completed.

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Originally Posted by mclane

It's the difference between +Ti and -Ti.

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Which is essentially an approximate for the difference in how Ne and Se synthesize with Ti / and likewise, Si and Ni synthesize with Fe.
@Petter
What questions are hard to answer with words outside of the nomenclature, as we use those symbols and terms to define parts of a composite. And all of it is technically correct, but very little actual information is conveyed. Is your question about how that difference is expressed, what the structure of the system defines these differences as, or why the one element in a synthesis can make the results so observably different?

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Originally Posted by mclane

It's the difference between +Ti and -Ti.

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Yes, but I would like to see descriptions which correspond with those (and other types' HA). This behavior can only refer to a weak vital function, so we will know more about +/-.

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Originally Posted by LeShay

I'm not positive how I desire praise but am presently still enjoying the occaisional praise of the colour scheme and product choices I so painfully put together for the new build and enjoying enthusiastic remarks about the landscaping taking shape along with the overall house design and features.

My husband likes to show people every room of the house and tell them it was his idea to put a freestanding bath in. He is so looking forward to cooking BBQ's under the alfresco when the landscaping is completed.

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What are your types?

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Originally Posted by Pookie

Which is essentially an approximate for the difference in how Ne and Se synthesize with Ti / and likewise, Si and Ni synthesize with Fe.

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That is my view as well. But SSS disagrees with this.

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@Petter
What questions are hard to answer with words outside of the nomenclature, as we use those symbols and terms to define parts of a composite. And all of it is technically correct, but very little actual information is conveyed. Is your question about how that difference is expressed, what the structure of the system defines these differences as, or why the one element in a synthesis can make the results so observably different?

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My question is only about a casual description of this behavior (i.e. how it is expressed) in your type or another type, if you recognize it.

This is interesting!

First of all, I don't think we have need of being praised for how dandy we can manage in using our activating function, not at all. We seek praise (I would better say - affirmation) pertaining the aspect of us that our activating function processes, turned information element processed by others (super-id block), our dual in particular, and - in this digested form - presented back to us (to our 6th function).
With that in mind,

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Originally Posted by Danali

I don't think the 6th function is concerned with verbal confirmation, its in the vital ring which means it more concerned with doing real things as opposed to speaking about it.

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Spot on.
It seems in agreement with my experience, too. I am extremely fine-tuned to signals of how pleasing I am to people: sexually, as a company, and - to some extent - aesthetically. Without thinking about it, I seek nonverbal affirmation.
I appreciate attention given to my body, touches that are appropriate for a given relation, other person's natural easiness in being close around me, even such things as sharing a bed with a friend during sleepovers - all of which I suppose on some level I see as acceptance/affirmation and proper dealing with my physicality.
Also, I often apologize to a friend if I feel tired or I'm under PMS when we meet and I can feel that I am not exactly easy to be around. Probably a lot of people do but it's something that really bugs me whenever I'm not conductive to one's comfort that way.

Oh, and I used to have a really good singing voice. I was extremely self-conscious about it - whenever I sang, it had to be perfect.

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Originally Posted by Petter

What are your types?

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Husband types himself as my dual no matter what my type :-)

http://www.the16types.info/vbulletin...=1#post1153991

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Originally Posted by malna

This is interesting!

First of all, I don't think we have need of being praised for how dandy we can manage in using our activating function, not at all. We seek praise (I would better say - affirmation) pertaining the aspect of us that our activating function processes, turned information element processed by others (super-id block), our dual in particular, and - in this digested form - presented back to us (to our 6th function).

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You are right, we usually don't need praise for that. But SSS is referring to a specific behavior, which we can see in all types from time to time. Someone is actively looking for praise from other people.

I found a similar thread:

http://www.the16types.info/vbulletin...-hidden-agenda

"The focus on one's hidden agenda is also manifested in a "patting yourself on the back" way, when you are reassuring others that you are actually good in doing something, but it's painfully obvious to others that you are above all reassuring yourself and not doing a good job at it - and by doing that, you end up behaving in a pathetic way."

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Originally Posted by Pookie

Seeking praise is a quality I kinda burned out of me at a younger age. With the sixth function, Ti for me, if im analyzing something, id like to be consistent so I can catch my own bias and value misassessments. The confirmation of value, and thus the feel good-ness of the HA is fulfilled simply by being competent.

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Do you recognize this behavior?

"The focus on one's hidden agenda is also manifested in a "patting yourself on the back" way, when you are reassuring others that you are actually good in doing something, but it's painfully obvious to others that you are above all reassuring yourself and not doing a good job at it - and by doing that, you end up behaving in a pathetic way."

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Originally Posted by LeShay

Husband types himself as my dual no matter what my type :-)

http://www.the16types.info/vbulletin...=1#post1153991

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Aw, that's sweet. And probably he's right!

Maybe you are xNxp. Because when you just can't settle on a type, it could well be that you see all the possibilities [N], and you like to keep your options OPEN [p]. :)

(Any good possibilities that your hubby is xSxp??)

Does anyone want to tell me what praise for :Se: would even look like?

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Originally Posted by goldenbane

Does anyone want to tell me what praise for :Se: would even look like?

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"Oh thank you Lady/Lord/Queen/King/Mistress/Master for allowing us to..."

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Originally Posted by Verbrannte

"Oh thank you Lady/Lord/Queen/King/Mistress/Master for allowing us to..."

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Ew

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Originally Posted by goldenbane

Does anyone want to tell me what praise for :Se: would even look like?

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You might be praised for being a real dynamo that gets things done. You are an individual who knows where it is At without focusing on any piddling irrelevant details or being liable to be derailed by unpleasant sensations or busybodies.

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Originally Posted by Subteigh

You might be praised for being a real dynamo that gets things done. You are an individual who knows where it is At without focusing on any piddling irrelevant details or being liable to be derailed by unpleasant sensations or busybodies.

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Then I guess I'll be EII like you. :)

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Originally Posted by goldenbane

Then I guess I'll be EII like you. :)

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:lol: maybe I'm not best suited to attempt a satisfactory description.

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Originally Posted by goldenbane

Then I guess I'll be EII like you. :)

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My description was sarcastic and I don't think his was worded that well because I'm not changing my self-typing to EII and that description doesn't sound attractive to me either... But we're all EII deep down inside anyways so it really makes no difference.

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Originally Posted by goldenbane

Does anyone want to tell me what praise for :Se: would even look like?

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"You're so successful/strong/got your stuff together/etc." (Not aiming for realism here :p)

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Originally Posted by thehotelambush

"You're so successful/strong/got your stuff together/etc." (Not aiming for realism here :p)

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Meh. I don't need praise in this regard. But being told I'm strong is helpful when I'm really doubting myself or in trouble.

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Originally Posted by Petter

Do you recognize this behavior?

"The focus on one's hidden agenda is also manifested in a "patting yourself on the back" way, when you are reassuring others that you are actually good in doing something, but it's painfully obvious to others that you are above all reassuring yourself and not doing a good job at it - and by doing that, you end up behaving in a pathetic way."

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I recognize it as a behavior, but it is pathetic and not everyone is pathetic like that. I think that's a mix of being highly insecure and neurotically focusing on that as a way to get others to make them feel "good" about themselves. Which, just doesn't ever work. As a teen, I think its not rare, though their peers catching it is less likely as they are similarly self-absorbed. But as an adult? I think most people grow out of such an extreme.

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Originally Posted by goldenbane

Does anyone want to tell me what praise for :Se: would even look like?

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"You are fun."

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Originally Posted by Pookie

"You are fun."

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I could see that more for Fe.

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Originally Posted by chips and underwear

I could see that more for Fe.

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Maybe, it applies best to SLEs. 6th function is Fe, but it definitely was praising their Se even if they took it otherwise. Time to find an SEE/ILE and see how it works.

Lying, progressing humanity one day at a time.

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Originally Posted by Pookie

I recognize it as a behavior, but it is pathetic and not everyone is pathetic like that. I think that's a mix of being highly insecure and neurotically focusing on that as a way to get others to make them feel "good" about themselves. Which, just doesn't ever work. As a teen, I think its not rare, though their peers catching it is less likely as they are similarly self-absorbed. But as an adult? I think most people grow out of such an extreme.

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Yes, it is probably more common among teenagers. But I don't think we grow out of this behavior, which that quote from SSS suggests (see OP).

The :Te:-praise I like is centered around competency, knowledge, optimizing, inspiring, helping, the "right" insight. If someone says "that was the exact advice I needed", I feel very happy for them and me equally. Since I'm e3 and thrive a lot on praise psychologically, I try to improve my knack of insight-giving continuously, that matches with what we said about the 6th function here earlier. The good thing about it is, when someone critiques it, I become even more eager to excel and don't complain, unlike when a person points out that my vulnerable causes lack of coherence and organization. So when I am told, "you are not competent enough", I see it as a positive challenge unless I know that my strengths can't potentially back me up.

EDIT: The perfect example popped up in my head just now. Even the small things matter:
It may sound trivial but when someone clicks constructive for my posts I make a mental note of that person :love2::pros:
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this topic confuses me... I don't have some subconscious urge to be mollycoddled over my Ti, sorry. I looked deep within the recess of my mind and it came out blank. "As usual?" Korpsey snarked while drinking some brand of tea from some foreign land that only he knew the name of. He drank it very straight, black and bitter.