Originally Posted by
Eliza Thomason
Minde, I have not read through this thread yet because when I do I want to do it carefully, And I need to take a break from this reading and typing, for several days actually, however long it takes to get on track. But I have been curious about your thread and saw this, and just had to comment!
This reminds me of a lovely, beautiful EII suite-mate in college. She had a long-term I believe LSE boyfriend. They were a curiosity as they were a very, very close and harmonious, contently-attached couple and attracted-to-each-other couple, due to her Catholic views, no sleepovers, and any little kisses between them was something private no one saw. I remember people in the dorm, people she was not friends with - outright bolding asking her - "AREN'T you sleeping with him?!?". You can imagine how you would take a stranger demanding you explain your private business and plans. She would blanche, but not answer. And I didn't dare ask her abut what was clearly her business. But without saying so, it was clear she/they wanted to wait for that, til after graduation and the engagement/wedding then soon to follow, however unusual that is in this day and age.
Her boyfriend invited a suite-mate and I on for a rappelling adventure one day, on Canadian cliffs above Niagara Falls. It was a bit of a hike through he woods to the rapelling spot; LSE led the way and the other suitemate and I had no trouble keeping up with his vigorous, determined pace. But EII girlfriend lagged well behind, moving steadily, but at her own pace, a familiar slow one. At one point LSE turned around, and across the growing distance expressed his impatience (after all, the other two of us kept up fine, he must have thought) and made some annoyed reference to her lagging. EII answered just as loudly, "Hey, you go your pace and I go mine. Remember?" She was not troubled by his annoyance, she made her response, and that was that, she continued on with her content pace. Later I expressed to her my admiration for this, as, people-pleaser that I am/was, I would push myself to be pleasing. She said her grandfather told her that, and I got the impression he had really given her confidence that who she was just as she was was okay. And, its the truth.
I feel particularly sure he is LSE, an engineering student there at college (like my LSE brother) and the way he was on the hike reminds me of how my LSE brother would be, pretty much exactly. A LSE would in fact be a strident, efficient hiker, and at least one of the EIIs I know does take a particularly slow pace in life, something I chalk up to a Carribean way, but she says her elementary principal called her "Methusulah", a funny thing to call a cute little girl. EII just does not take on activity to the intense degree LSE does, as far as I can tell. There is opposite-ness there, just like, I often think, how Lordwilling my SLE son will connect someday with a IEI wife - he likes to go out and do, and socialize, and IEI is a homebody, generally. But, they will work it out. Duals are opposite in a lot of ways. Apparently this LSE/EII Dual couple, in college, having dated four years and become best friends, had learned to deal with each others occasionally clashing approach-to-life, so that when LSE criticized her, it was no problem for her to calmly tell him how it was - it did not upset her.
So that's how you can be with your friend, if he turns out to be LSE. Calmly tell him how it is. (He can take it!)
Hope that story was helpful. Gotta go now!