I don't want to be EIE-ENFj
I hate it. The thought of me being an ENFj is very depressing. It gives me the feeling of hopelessness. I'm somewhat overwhelmed with negative feelings and I KNOW now that I will feel like that for the rest of my life. OMG! :shock:
I need interaction, without it I feel like I'm going nuts. When I interact with someone, I speak too loud and too enthusiastically and I tend to draw attention of the entire group of people and then I feel like, "oh fuck, what do I do now?!". But I can't go back. If I started telling a story I gotta finish it. But I feel scared of the attention. And then later I remember that moment over and over again and I feel like I'm going nuts! I feel shitty when I spend time in solitude, I feel shitty when I try to hang out with others. lose-lose situation.
And there is no way out of it. I don't think like a feeler, but my body reacts like that. I sometimes get emotions that didn't come from my head. I know I sound really depressed, but that's ok because I am. And there is absolutely no reason for it. And I don't know the cure. I used to think that the more I succeed the better I feel, but I don't. Not really. I feel like I have cheated someone and soon people will find out that I don't know anything about anything.
And what's so good about emotions anyway. I want to shut them all down, but lately my Fe seems somehow more sensitive than ever before. I think when I typed myself ENFj, I opened a gate that can't be closed anymore. I have never been a particularly emotional person and I was working on being even less emotional. I did occasionally have very nasty rage, and I did like to exaggerate positive emotions when I was with other people, but I was still the serious and somewhat calculating person. Now I try to feel like and ENFj and I just can't handle it. It's making me insane. (a little bit dramatic, but still kind of true).
There is peace somewhere. There are 16 types and all of those types should theoretically enable a normal happy healthy life. But in order to be healthy, I should use my ego block functions. That also means that I have to give even more control to Fe. But the more control I give to Fe, the crazier I feel. I'm not happy. There has to be a way to be happy being an ENFj. Especially when I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be. ALL of my goals have worked out and I'm not worried about the future goals. OH GOD! Being ENFj sucks so bad! :?
Re: I don't want to be ENFj
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Originally Posted by Kristiina
I hate it. The thought of me being an ENFj is very depressing. It gives me the feeling of hopelessness. I'm somewhat overwhelmed with negative feelings and I KNOW now that I will feel like that for the rest of my life. OMG! :shock:
You'll be fine.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kristiina
I need interaction, without it I feel like I'm going nuts. When I interact with someone, I speak too loud and too enthusiastically and I tend to draw attention of the entire group of people and then I feel like, "oh fuck, what do I do now?!". But I can't go back. If I started telling a story I gotta finish it. But I feel scared of the attention. And then later I remember that moment over and over again and I feel like I'm going nuts! I feel shitty when I spend time in solitude, I feel shitty when I try to hang out with others. lose-lose situation.
This is far better a :Se: HA than any of that wealth bullshit Ive seen.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kristiina
And there is no way out of it. I don't think like a feeler, but my body reacts like that. I sometimes get emotions that didn't come from my head. I know I sound really depressed, but that's ok because I am. And there is absolutely no reason for it. And I don't know the cure. I used to think that the more I succeed the better I feel, but I don't. Not really. I feel like I have cheated someone and soon people will find out that I don't know anything about anything.
This is a common feeling for those that have succeeded institutionally way past their expectation. In social patterns, those that feel this way often take lower posititions to feel more at ease. My advice: go on with your bad self. F them with a pogostick.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kristiina
And what's so good about emotions anyway. I want to shut them all down, but lately my Fe seems somehow more sensitive than ever before. I think when I typed myself ENFj, I opened a gate that can't be closed anymore. I have never been a particularly emotional person and I was working on being even less emotional. I did occasionally have very nasty rage, and I did like to exaggerate positive emotions when I was with other people, but I was still the serious and somewhat calculating person. Now I try to feel like and ENFj and I just can't handle it. It's making me insane. (a little bit dramatic, but still kind of true).
Let it all go. :Fe: isnt as fake as some of the idiots on the board perpetuate it to be.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kristiina
There is peace somewhere. There are 16 types and all of those types should theoretically enable a normal happy healthy life. But in order to be healthy, I should use my ego block functions. That also means that I have to give even more control to Fe. But the more control I give to Fe, the crazier I feel. I'm not happy. There has to be a way to be happy being an ENFj. Especially when I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be. ALL of my goals have worked out and I'm not worried about the future goals. OH GOD! Being ENFj sucks so bad! :?
Screw ego blocks and all that jazz. Live your life with your loved ones to best it can be.
Re: I don't want to be ENFj
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kristiina
But in order to be healthy, I should use my ego block functions. That also means that I have to give even more control to Fe. But the more control I give to Fe, the crazier I feel. I'm not happy. There has to be a way to be happy being an ENFj.
Just let the :Fe: flow :) This is how Apple's Steve Jobs does it (from socionics.us):
"Highly animate, persuasive, charismatic, visionary, motivational, and dramatic. Likes attention and posing for the camera. Has a carefully crafted persona and frequently changes his appearance. Has an autocratic streak and foists his tastes and mindset on others. Here is an interesting quote about Jobs' visionary qualities:
Jobs is both admired and criticized for his consummate skills of persuasion and salesmanship, which has been dubbed the "reality distortion field" and is particularly evident during his keynote speeches at Macworld Expos.
This distortion effect comes from dishing out vision with a powerful emotional (even hypnotic) component. It causes people to have unwavering faith in what is "supposed" to happen and do whatever it takes to get there."
Re: I don't want to be ENFj
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kristiina
I hate it. The thought of me being an ENFj is very depressing. It gives me the feeling of hopelessness. I'm somewhat overwhelmed with negative feelings and I KNOW now that I will feel like that for the rest of my life. OMG! :shock:
And who will provide you with hope, if not for yourself, and the way you move situations towards .. inspired goals :)
I find it helps to go for runs, and to let go and so forth when things are like this .. sometimes I just need to sweat .. and I feel like all the old shit is disappearing.. my body feels less toxic, and my mind opens up ..
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I need interaction, without it I feel like I'm going nuts. When I interact with someone, I speak too loud and too enthusiastically and I tend to draw attention of the entire group of people and then I feel like, "oh fuck, what do I do now?!". But I can't go back.
So do I actually. Sometimes I spin around or grin, or make random noises. . don't worry about it too much .. just do what feels right :)
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If I started telling a story I gotta finish it. But I feel scared of the attention. And then later I remember that moment over and over again and I feel like I'm going nuts! I feel shitty when I spend time in solitude, I feel shitty when I try to hang out with others. lose-lose situation.
Agan and again and again. Hey, again and again and again. Hey! Again and again. It's like a rhythm, you can always change it if you so desire.
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And there is no way out of it. I don't think like a feeler, but my body reacts like that. I sometimes get emotions that didn't come from my head. I know I sound really depressed, but that's ok
Emotions can come from the head? Wow. Mine don't! I find it hard to let them up so high ..
Like when I feeling strong emotions they can be controlled/managed around my gut .. or let as far as my arms. . or if I'm feeling extra secure .. all the way to my head ..
But like I can have emotional paths. . and do things centering around my gut .. for direction .. I see it as emotional constriction, and management :P
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because I am. And there is absolutely no reason for it. And I don't know the cure. I used to think that the more I succeed the better I feel, but I don't. Not really. I feel like I have cheated someone and soon people will find out that I don't know anything about anything.
I used to think that too. I tried it. I couldn't get any satisfaction. I'd get extremely angry and irrate and go off on strange tirades about how nothing feels rewarding or satisfying, and the more I have the more I need ... "I don't want it .. I just need it .. To breathe .. to feel .. to know a light" (tool lyrics)
I used to get that feeling as well. . I can actually relate, it used to push me into overdrive. And I'd have to keep REMEMBERING ... LET GO LET GO LET GO LET GO
And then I'd start cursing, and spitting. And wanting to throw things around... then I'd play loud music :))
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And what's so good about emotions anyway. I want to shut them all down, but lately my Fe seems somehow more sensitive than ever before. I think when I typed myself ENFj, I opened a gate that can't be closed anymore. I have never been a particularly
Then go through! To the other end! Nyah nyah nyah. Who's going to stop you, if not for yourself?
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emotional person and I was working on being even less emotional.
Yes you are. You're trying to be less emotional? Cool. Maybe you'll gain stability. More emotional control can help. It doesn't mean you lose the awareness of how to use emotions.
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I did occasionally have very nasty rage, and I did like to exaggerate positive emotions when I was with other people, but I
Lots of people are like this. Like me! But other people are too.
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was still the serious and somewhat calculating person. Now I try
Uh huh. Fuzzy logic. Uh huh. *shifts to the side* Yes, Krist..
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to feel like and ENFj and I just can't handle it. It's making me insane. (a little bit dramatic, but still kind of true).
Oh dear .. the little girl .. she wants to handle it .. is she big enough to play with the adult toys .. or is she still too young .. she doesn't look too sure of herself. .. maybe we should take stuff away from her .. maybe we should steal all of her toys .. muahahahaa
Just get a sense of self-control, and inner direction. Everything will work out, in the end. But you can't just wait for things to fit into place always .. sometimes you have to negotiate and manuever things so that they really are going in the right direction.. :)
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There is peace somewhere. There are 16 types and all of those
Definitely. Nature!
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types should theoretically enable a normal happy healthy life. But
in order to be healthy, I should use my ego block functions. That
Theories.. Egoes.. Thinknig .. Conceptualisation. Move on. For a little bit. Hey, just go for a walk in nature... let your hair down.. listen to the birds .. play on the swings ..
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also means that I have to give even more control to Fe. But the more control I give to Fe, the crazier I feel. I'm not happy. There
Control is restricting, if you hadn't noticed. Can you have control and not have control at the same time. Try to expand your "realisation of control". Allow more into your awareness and allow your feelings to flow..
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has to be a way to be happy being an ENFj. Especially when I'm
I'm not happy. I'm not happy. I'm not happy. Once you realise thaht your'e not happy. then you realise why you're not happy... then you realise that it's futile. Then you're fucked. So instead of relaising it's futile, try and allow yourself to have hope .. and to realise what's wrong .. and to do stuff about it. . with awareness.. of how it works .. how you want to do things.. how they'll go .. and set things in motion .. and in the rigth dircetion. . and lay back .. and gain that sense of self-worth back agian!
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exactly where I'm supposed to be. ALL of my goals have worked
Well you've done that. Next! Keep having fun. Keep letting go.
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out and I'm not worried about the future goals. OH GOD! Being ENFj sucks so bad! :?
No it doesn't. You're just stuck. These things happen sometimes ((:
Re: I don't want to be ENFj
I'm sorry, I can give you a full comment on your post.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jadae
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kristiina
I hate it. The thought of me being an ENFj is very depressing. It gives me the feeling of hopelessness. I'm somewhat overwhelmed with negative feelings and I KNOW now that I will feel like that for the rest of my life. OMG! :shock:
You'll be fine.
Yes, I know. But I need to know how. This is not only about my current unexplained stress. I know it will pass. It's just that I keep having the exact same problems and I just learned that I was born with everything that makes me have those problems. I might have the same problems until I die.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jadae
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kristiina
I need interaction, without it I feel like I'm going nuts. When I interact with someone, I speak too loud and too enthusiastically and I tend to draw attention of the entire group of people and then I feel like, "oh fuck, what do I do now?!". But I can't go back. If I started telling a story I gotta finish it. But I feel scared of the attention. And then later I remember that moment over and over again and I feel like I'm going nuts! I feel shitty when I spend time in solitude, I feel shitty when I try to hang out with others. lose-lose situation.
This is far better a :Se: HA than any of that wealth bullshit Ive seen.
lol, but I still want to be rich. :wink:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jadae
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kristiina
And there is no way out of it. I don't think like a feeler, but my body reacts like that. I sometimes get emotions that didn't come from my head. I know I sound really depressed, but that's ok because I am. And there is absolutely no reason for it. And I don't know the cure. I used to think that the more I succeed the better I feel, but I don't. Not really. I feel like I have cheated someone and soon people will find out that I don't know anything about anything.
This is a common feeling for those that have succeeded institutionally way past their expectation. In social patterns, those that feel this way often take lower posititions to feel more at ease. My advice: go on with your bad self. F them with a pogostick.
yeah, you are partly right. I am one of the people who get intimidated by success. I have accomplished the goals I was supposed to finish at my current age. But I still have a very long way until I run out of goals. And I have no intention of lowering my self-expectations, because I get stressed/depressed no matter whether I succeed or not.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jadae
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kristiina
And what's so good about emotions anyway. I want to shut them all down, but lately my Fe seems somehow more sensitive than ever before. I think when I typed myself ENFj, I opened a gate that can't be closed anymore. I have never been a particularly emotional person and I was working on being even less emotional. I did occasionally have very nasty rage, and I did like to exaggerate positive emotions when I was with other people, but I was still the serious and somewhat calculating person. Now I try to feel like and ENFj and I just can't handle it. It's making me insane. (a little bit dramatic, but still kind of true).
Let it all go. :Fe: isnt as fake as some of the idiots on the board perpetuate it to be.
I totally agree. I'll write a topic about Fe some day. I think it will be about a week from now (unless I have sudden inspiration or growing confusion).
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jadae
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kristiina
There is peace somewhere. There are 16 types and all of those types should theoretically enable a normal happy healthy life. But in order to be healthy, I should use my ego block functions. That also means that I have to give even more control to Fe. But the more control I give to Fe, the crazier I feel. I'm not happy. There has to be a way to be happy being an ENFj. Especially when I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be. ALL of my goals have worked out and I'm not worried about the future goals. OH GOD! Being ENFj sucks so bad! :?
Screw ego blocks and all that jazz. Live your life with your loved ones to best it can be.
Just living my life, being with loves ones, etc, doesn't give me what I need to be happy. I need to take extra measures. I need to make an effort to act like I'm supposed to act.
Re: I don't want to be ENFj
Kristiina do you relate to these kind of ENFj features:
"One potential problems almost all ENFjs face is a general lack of the expression of their own identity; they can get so caught up in understanding the needs of others that they often times fail to do the things that would naturally define them as individuals. In result, some could adapt 'fake-it-to-make-it' approaches or mold to societies like a chameleons."
Re: I don't want to be ENFj
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Originally Posted by Kristiina
I'm sorry, I can give you a full comment on your post.
Thank you for an earnest reply.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kristiina
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jadae
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kristiina
I hate it. The thought of me being an ENFj is very depressing. It gives me the feeling of hopelessness. I'm somewhat overwhelmed with negative feelings and I KNOW now that I will feel like that for the rest of my life. OMG! :shock:
You'll be fine.
Yes, I know. But I need to know how. This is not only about my current unexplained stress. I know it will pass. It's just that I keep having the exact same problems and I just learned that I was born with everything that makes me have those problems. I might have the same problems until I die.
Yes. This wasnt patronizing. It was just me telling you that you will get through this.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kristiina
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jadae
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kristiina
I need interaction, without it I feel like I'm going nuts. When I interact with someone, I speak too loud and too enthusiastically and I tend to draw attention of the entire group of people and then I feel like, "oh fuck, what do I do now?!". But I can't go back. If I started telling a story I gotta finish it. But I feel scared of the attention. And then later I remember that moment over and over again and I feel like I'm going nuts! I feel shitty when I spend time in solitude, I feel shitty when I try to hang out with others. lose-lose situation.
This is far better a :Se: HA than any of that wealth bullshit Ive seen.
lol, but I still want to be rich. :wink:
Im not so interested in being wealthy as I am in being secure for this future and the next generation of my family (ie. something worthwhile to pass on). I feel that the HA means that comfort is created from physical security rather than the crude form of physical wealth which has not always existed and could *possibly* provide security. I imagined an ENFj/ISTj dual as hunter/gathers in either role or in the same exact role. And I could see how an ENFj received their HA via this ISTj via the security it brought in terms of knowing they'd survive well. In return, the ENFj brings forewarnings to the ISTj.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kristiina
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jadae
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kristiina
And there is no way out of it. I don't think like a feeler, but my body reacts like that. I sometimes get emotions that didn't come from my head. I know I sound really depressed, but that's ok because I am. And there is absolutely no reason for it. And I don't know the cure. I used to think that the more I succeed the better I feel, but I don't. Not really. I feel like I have cheated someone and soon people will find out that I don't know anything about anything.
This is a common feeling for those that have succeeded institutionally way past their expectation. In social patterns, those that feel this way often take lower posititions to feel more at ease. My advice: go on with your bad self. F them with a pogostick.
yeah, you are partly right. I am one of the people who get intimidated by success. I have accomplished the goals I was supposed to finish at my current age. But I still have a very long way until I run out of goals. And I have no intention of lowering my self-expectations, because I get stressed/depressed no matter whether I succeed or not.
Diana said it perfectly. My main warning to you was to learn to destress, too, because, if you dont learn, then it could potentiate and get in your way.
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Originally Posted by Kristiina
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jadae
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kristiina
There is peace somewhere. There are 16 types and all of those types should theoretically enable a normal happy healthy life. But in order to be healthy, I should use my ego block functions. That also means that I have to give even more control to Fe. But the more control I give to Fe, the crazier I feel. I'm not happy. There has to be a way to be happy being an ENFj. Especially when I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be. ALL of my goals have worked out and I'm not worried about the future goals. OH GOD! Being ENFj sucks so bad! :?
Screw ego blocks and all that jazz. Live your life with your loved ones to best it can be.
Just living my life, being with loves ones, etc, doesn't give me what I need to be happy. I need to take extra measures. I need to make an effort to act like I'm supposed to act.
Whether :Fe: primary or not, it is good to learn how to control it. Just keep in mind that there is a reason that those that know how to adequately interpersonalize in a relaxed manner live longer for multiple reasons such as lessened suicide, understanding multiple paths from others, releasing depressions and lowered liklihood of dying from pride-induced deaths (I can do this alone mentality).