What Types are 'Nice?'

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Originally Posted by Yours Truly

Isn't knowing how to be pleasant more Fe than Fi?

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to be pleasant and nice is more about personal sympathy, so it's subjective and Fi. Fi ego types show you own personal sympathy and hence you like them in return. they seek how to be liked by someone concrete
Fe is about objective emotions - not sympathy, but about to be decent universally. about good or bad for all. Fe types show the admiration like you are a movie star or long lost brother :)

Anyway - it's general F types abbility, but not Fe types specifics. The interpretation of "to be pleasant" may to have the different inclination by Te and Ti types to Fi and Fe traits correspondently.

People who know nothing about niceties and don't understand emotions are talking about them.

It's not as simple as "subjective emotions" and "objective emotions", whatever they're supposed to mean.

Oh nooo! This thread is so Fi and represents T types in so awful light as they are not nice and pedantic, and should been cast a side and excluded from any relationships from an ethical view point, Agh! I hope op fixing all her polrs for evaaa!

/joke

It's agreeableness

What does it mean to be "nice"? Every type will answer this question in a different way.

For example, in the broadest terms possible:

Fi-ego types try to be polite and sensitive to others. Fe-ego types try to be friendly and warm to others. To turn this around, types who have Fi PoLR hate moralizing, are skeptical of politeness, value judgements and often question whether people truly believe what they say. Types who have Fe PoLR see no value in trying to cultivate warmth and good cheer, and will often have an I'm right-youre wrong style of interaction.

As Bertrand has said, one's ability to convey their desired emotional sentiment (Fe) or personal values (Fi) will depend on the dimensionality of their valued F function; the higher, the more powerful and persuasive. Therefore, Ethical types tend to be thought of as "nicer", even though they might not actually be if you were able to assess their behaviour in private alongside their public persona. Ethical potential is not type related, and in fact, T types may sometimes overcompensate here, especially if Fi/Fe is their HA, an area they will try to work on improving.

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Originally Posted by Yours Truly

Isn't knowing how to be pleasant more Fe than Fi?

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You can know how to do something, and indeed be very good at it, but still consider it to be boring, silly and overrated.

(This is essentially a summary of how we perceive the realm of our demonstrative function)

For example, SEE/IEE have Fe demonstrative, 4D Fe, and are thus well aware of how to influence the emotions of people around them. However, they dislike being expected to do so, and in any case Emotions are a lesser consideration than the program of their leading function.

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Originally Posted by jason_m

ESE (Alyssa Milano, Sandra Bullock): Acts nice, is.

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Sorry but a good friend knows Alyssa and she is not really nice. Also maybe it's just extinguishment talking but I have found ESEs to put on a nice front but be quite rough underneath at times.

My two cents:

LSEs can come across not nice at first but can actually be quite nice.

EIIs are mostly REALLY nice.

SEIs are possibly the nicest type I have ever come across.

Niceness is thought of to be the work of spindle neurons in the brain, which is a highly specialized neuron that are thought of to be involved in self-awareness, empathy, sense of humor, self-control, and other human fortes. Spindle neurons are found in humans, great apes, whales, dolphins and elephants, which all show highly sophisticated social behaviors and seem to display empathy.

Amygdala and anterior insula are areas involved in the perception of another’s distress.

It's highly likely that empathy is an evolved mammalian trait that evolved out of the selection of parents caring for its young. The "distress call" of the young urges the parent to take care of its young and to lessen their distress and pain. Most mammals seem to at least show some empathy for their offspring. And not just mammals, but even crocodiles and birds seem to as well.

As the social behaviors grew more complex, this empathy seems to have extended from their offspring to other members of the group, to enforce social cooperation, to reduce social tension, to form coalitions and alliances, etc. to become a socially selected evolutionary advantageous trait.

How can one be "nice" without knowing what the other person feels, and knowing or wanting to reduce their pain? That is called empathy or sympathy. That seems to be the source of all "niceness".

And yet Socionics ignores this, and just says that feelings or niceness are just "there", but fails to explain how that niceness works or how that niceness got there in the first place. It can be explained by evolution.

The ones that make you the happiest.

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Originally Posted by Mio Q

The ones that make you the happiest.

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Sir, that is very wholesome.

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Originally Posted by MrsTortilla

SEIs are possibly the nicest type I have ever come across.

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That is because SEIs disown/repress any negative feelings, which is why they are doomed to remain in a state of being a dependent personality wallflowers. Even being nice has its price...

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Originally Posted by consentingadult

That is because SEIs disown/repress any negative feelings, which is why they are doomed to remain in a state of being a dependent personality wallflowers. Even being nice has its price...

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This thread turned dark quickly.

Now I want to hug every SEI out there and tell them that it's okay to tell me about their mommy/daddy issues and existential dread.

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Originally Posted by consentingadult

That is because SEIs disown/repress any negative feelings, which is why they are doomed to remain in a state of being a dependent personality wallflowers. Even being nice has its price...

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Type 9 problems

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Originally Posted by Feathers

This thread turned dark quickly.

Now I want to hug every SEI out there and tell them that it's okay to tell me about their mommy/daddy issues and existential dread.

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Best to ask the nicest of the nicest SEIs. The less nice SEIs are usually better well rounded ;-)

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Originally Posted by consentingadult

That is because SEIs disown/repress any negative feelings

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SEI do not. Forget the bs about Reinin's traits and signes of functions. Introvertion makes them to look as lesser aggressive, nothing more.
Fi types should supress negative feelings more than Fe, as this creates not pleasant emotions, creates antipathy. This makes my holly Fi types as more polite, whiter and more fluffy.
Also valued Fe should reduce the impression of rudeness from Fe types, the similar effect mb for Fi types and types valueing it.

> which is why they are doomed to remain in a state of being a dependent personality wallflowers

this relates only to their weak regions. the most in any type has no this problem, in general sense

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Originally Posted by consentingadult

That is because SEIs disown/repress any negative feelings, which is why they are doomed to remain in a state of being a dependent personality wallflowers. Even being nice has its price...

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@consentingadult, this is an interesting assertion. I work with an SEI-Fe and I will admit that I get the strong impression that she never goes negative. She's always upbeat, positive and encouraging. Except, of course, when she expressed shock and dismay at one of my jokes. I now limit my interactions with her in duration and frequency for the sake of harmony, since I doubt if I can ever amuse or entertain her like an ILE can, but she's a wonderful person.

On the other hand, I also worked with an SEI-Si and she and I never really got to a point in our mutual dealings that was positive enough to see any value in each other. :( To me, her cheerful sunniness seemed 100% phony.
To be fair, the SEI-Se never went negative unless it was in relation to some failing of mine, which she instantly shared with everyone she met.

But that's Conflict and not a reflection on SEI's in general.

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Originally Posted by Adam Strange

@consentingadult, this is an interesting assertion. I work with an SEI-Fe and I will admit that I get the strong impression that she never goes negative. She's always upbeat, positive and encouraging. Except, of course, when she expressed shock and dismay at one of my jokes. I now limit my interactions with her in duration and frequency for the sake of harmony, since I doubt if I can ever amuse or entertain her like an ILE can, but she's a wonderful person.

On the other hand, I also worked with an SEI-Si and she and I never really got to a point in our mutual dealings that was positive enough to see any value in each other. :( To me, her cheerful sunniness seemed 100% phony.
To be fair, the SEI-Se never went negative unless it was in relation to some failing of mine, which she instantly shared with everyone she met.

But that's Conflict and not a reflection on SEI's in general.

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I came to this conclusion after close, long duration interactions with SEIs. At first sight, they seem to nicest, most friendly and balanced types around, sometimes very strong and confident, but over time you discover they have no dark side to them at all.... yeah, sure!

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Originally Posted by Adam Strange

I work with an SEI-Fe and I will admit that I get the strong impression that she never goes negative.

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There is nothing in types theory about such "superabbility" of SEIs. I saw the senseless and annoying rudeness from SEIs, including on forums. It's Fe type, they are often such in my perception.
F types better control emotions and may to do not show negative easier when do not want it. _any_ F type would be similar there. also there can be nontypes factors like those who'd had more of problems on the job or out of it, other social norms of the behavior due to upbringing or other. also there are people with higher inclination to negative emotions, what does not relate to types.

> To be fair, the SEI-Se never went negative unless it was in relation to some failing of mine

criticize SEI a little to imrove something in her work :) better ways to do something in more reasonable ways, to make sooner. offer her to help you in this - to think how to improve her working process. in case SEI there - she should like it and become even more positive. do this regularly, so the postivie attitude did not reduced

> But that's Conflict and not a reflection on SEI's in general.

the reason why "conflict" is bad in the weak regions of the types where they are below social norms and it's hard for them to fix there

SEI meltdowns are the best. Has no one else experienced them?
At least they can erupt around me about rest of the world. LOL.

This is their close range Fe:
https://i.imgur.com/dmnysOW.jpg

I say: Look at this way: at least meteorite didn't hit your head. It is all relatively good.

And then they say: Yes...

and everything is OK.

One SEI I know when becomes angry takes an axe and destroys something, for example chairs, doors, windows, walls, appliances, tv, guitar etc. During such episodes he swears he will hurt someone but never did anything. Also his reasons for hutring other people are unreasonable. The last one was that he came to someone house and was given dirty looks :D

types aren't nice, ITRs are nice

also I was h8'ing on SEI before it was cool

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Originally Posted by falsehope

One SEI I know when becomes angry takes an axe and destroys something, for example chairs, doors, windows, walls, appliances, tv, guitar etc. During such episodes he swears he will hurt someone but never did anything. Also his reasons for hutring other people are unreasonable. The last one was that he came to someone house and was given dirty looks :D

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Yep my SEI e9 ex had terrible scary rages provoked from nothing. I'm physically still recovering from the stress of being around it. He was also diagnosed BPD and obviously unhealthy so I had no idea this was a SEI thing. Of course he could appear super "nice" charm a room full of people if he desired. That's why the original question made me think the nicest , most validating are sometimes the most, well, dangerous.

Se POLR are typical Nice Guy syndrome

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Originally Posted by noaydi

Se POLR are typical Nice Guy syndrome

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YOu really think so? I personally believe LIIs are cunts...

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Originally Posted by consentingadult

YOu really think so? I personally believe LIIs are cunts...

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They're not. LII-Ti/Ne are funny as fuck.

ILI-Ni/Te are the CUNTS

Trees can grow straight and tall or bent and twisted depending on their environments and experiences over the years. I've met nice and not-nice versions of every type; but, even the very nice can have their not-so-nice moments and the sadistic show moments of kindness.........:content:

a.k.a. I/O

This niceness is quite paradoxical. So F types can be very nice but often they use it for not being nice, like they either become mean or furious (depending on the quadra), and T types are more stable in feelings but their logic can hurt. The rest is quite subjective as some may like some types others may not.

LOL.
EII's niceness is usually off as soon as something hurts them. Not that they usually have outburst (but it can happen).
LII's tend to go around give judgments about people which in turn turns it against them (their own kind of assholery). Some of them can even call it healthy flexing of role (:doh:).

This thread makes no sense.

Nice is overrated.

Just don't be cruel.

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Originally Posted by aster

Personally, I'd say generally E9 Ne/Si valuers...

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Probably lol

I don't really think it's type related :'O

There's too many different perceptions of what "nice" is
Like some ppl think I'm the sweetest person out there upon first meeting while others think I'm an asshole for not being expressive enough lmao

Everyone can be nice, "can" being the key word here.

Expression of attitudes is related to :Fi: in socionika. So expressing a kind attitude toward others is the realm of :Fi:, they can also express a nasty attitude but I find that generally expressing nastiness is more the realm of :Fe: not because they want to express attitudes but because it goes along with expressing emotions which can be good or bad. :Fi: egos also can express negative atitudes towards someone but the goal here seems more like getting rid of someone's flaws to make it conform to their values of how a person should behave.

So I would say kindness is the realm of :Fi: valuing types, not that alpha and beta types can't be kind but this is not something they value. That doesn't mean they value cruelty or meanness, not anymore than beta and gamma types value being in bad health. But people wanna focus on the IEs they value, and prefer to deal with the ones they don't value only when there is a problem related to that IE. When the problem is solved they go back to focusing on the IEs they value.

Well if I would have to compare kindness of alpha and gamma, then alpha is a lot more nice. Maybe I am not objective because I am alpha but I found gammas very often insensitive which goes for all their members. Also tactless. So that would be fit meaning of "being nice".