ILI suffering due to ESI girlfriend's absurd Ne polr suspicions

I think this relationship sounds awesome and you should write a film about it afterwards.

I meant never.

You're both nuts and have very low selfesteem coupled with a bizarre self of entitlement.

And you both handle your angry through tempers (re: throwing/breaking things).

I've thrown a fair number of tempers before. Since when did shame ever work to change people? Guilt, maybe, but never shame.

Maybe your relationship will never end.....kind of like this thread.

jk

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Originally Posted by mercutio

Drop her.

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What if she breaks? :cry:

:love:

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Originally Posted by Monkey

They're not irreplaceable. Gammas, betas and alphas on this forum are like a bunch of gypos you see pouring out of their tents, speaking gibberish and looking weird. Look at it from this side: whenever you see one, you can be sure there is more of them waiting there somewhere, i.e., when you see, say, one gamma, beta or alpha specimen around, you can bet there is more coming, ready to band together like big, formless mass of sheep, trying to peddle their junk and being really baaah baaah baaah loud about it. Then they pack their bags and travel somewhere else...

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Good to know. Thank you. :content:

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Originally Posted by Aylen

What if she breaks? :cry:

:love:

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then dispose of her.

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Originally Posted by mercutio

then dispose of her.

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you are evil...

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Originally Posted by Velvet

Wow a lot of broken stuff, violence and passion, are you sure you are not Beta? :hello:

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Gammas are violent too

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Originally Posted by Lithe

All this looks pretty insane...

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it happens.

Any and all type breaks things out of anger.


These generalizations are rediculous.


Sidenote: I'm gamma. I do not break things when I'm angry nor do I surround myself with people who do.

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Originally Posted by FDG

http://www.the16types.info/vbulletin...quote_icon.png Originally Posted by Dionysius http://www.the16types.info/vbulletin...post-right.png


Yes, we have. I'm young, so I'm not yet so prosperous. I clearly see that she feels uncomfortable when I have financial problems, even they being minor - We have a secure medium class life. One of the things that irritate her the most is when I remember expensive things that I've bought, to explain why I'm 'broke', and she considers it an 'insult'. That I should never remember those things, cause it's unethical. We quarreled a lot on this last issue. ESIs don't like 'excuses'. They want LIEs to always find a solution and gain the money needed. They want security in the present and future. The past doesn't matter.




FDG
Anyone with a brain would understand that dating a person 10 years younger when you're 31 normally implies that the said person will have less financial resources than what you are "used to" among same-age peers. And since she chose you as her boyfriend she should get used to it.

I think oftentimes LIEs are more controlling than ESIs. They're the Te dominants after all.

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Anyone with brain can see this is probably some "rebound relationship" or something just as temporary and second-hand and that she only uses his age&financial condition against him because he obviously doesn't feel proud of it and because she can. Obviously he's totally insecure&on a limb and he cannot have any grasp of this shitty relationship and that's probably hardly what someone so much older than him wants. The dude seems to try to read the need for security as type-related in order to justify it all, which is of course wrong. Other than that anyone with valued Se would probably have some material considerations in life, too ...so I'm not so sure this is about LIE's dual.

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Originally Posted by Dionysius

.

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so meanwhile you type SEE (E8!) and you deleted all your posts in this thread, except for the OP which cannot be erased from the face of the earth. It's probably because you two are on your honeymoon right now.

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Originally Posted by Sienna

Anyone with brain can see this is probably some "rebound relationship" or something just as temporary and second-hand and that she only uses his age&financial condition against him because he obviously doesn't feel proud of it and because she can. Obviously he's totally insecure&on a limb and he cannot have any grasp of this shitty relationship and that's probably hardly what someone so much older than him wants. The dude seems to try to read the need for security as type-related in order to justify it all, which is of course wrong. Other than that anyone with valued Se would probably have some material considerations in life, too ...so I'm not so sure this is about LIE's dual.

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I'm all for calling a spade a spade and you're spot on, but sadly, this is something that he's going to have to learn for himself through experience. It's pretty obvious from his responses that he's not taking advice on board properly and is ignoring for the answer that's right in front of his face and not buried in Socionics literature.

You might as well not waste your keystrokes.

I kinda bet on Ti creative by the way you look for theoretical frameworks for your irl relationship and constantly switch from one type to another (Ne). It looks like you always open some new "door" to uncover alternative interpretations and stuff.

I wonder why someone would ever tell their partner about this forum lol.

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Originally Posted by Sienna

Anyone with brain can see this is probably some "rebound relationship" or something just as temporary and second-hand and that she only uses his age&financial condition against him because he obviously doesn't feel proud of it and because she can. Obviously he's totally insecure&on a limb and he cannot have any grasp of this shitty relationship and that's probably hardly what someone so much older than him wants.

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Yeah, sure, that's the more cynical way to see it (and I think it's probably true). But IF she really wanted to stay with him she should have considered the implications even financial etc.

Learn what you can out of it while it lasts. That's all I could say.

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Originally Posted by blackburry

Sidenote: I'm gamma. I do not break things when I'm angry nor do I surround myself with people who do.

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Well, I guess that means you never learned any maladaptive coping strategies and getting your needs met in healthy ways as opposed to scenarios of acting out with violence or breaking things.

I did. I threw two plates against walls in my younger years and I am not proud of it. I also punched a truck and was arrested and charged with mischief, by my ex boyfriend. Not proud of that either. I'm gamma as well. I can say those episodes are moments of extreme stress, pressure, hurt, anger, loneliness, fear, frustration and grief. I would tend to agree with you, I would not choose to surround myself with people who are suffering in that manner.

As a future nurse? you are going to encounter many, many people in distress.

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Originally Posted by blackburry

Not really sure why the last bit is relevant (my profession). I meant surround myself with that type of behavior in relationships. I've worked at a hospital for 4 years. I'm well aware of human highs and lows. I respect others grief and lives... but would I date someone who does that? Nurp. Been there, done that...and he threw things at me regularly and pulled me out of my car's open window.

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Relevant cause you see first hand people people who do these kinds of things. I knew what you meant to begin with I was wondering if it came from a place of understanding first hand, past some kind of intellectual exercise, why this type of behaviour is potentially damaging (on a wide range of spectrum). As well, why these things might be a result of extreme stress, ect. I can't even really remember what we were talking about to begin with, so I guess I will leave it at that.

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Originally Posted by blackburry

Not really sure why the last bit is relevant (my profession). I meant surround myself with that type of behavior in relationships. I've worked at a hospital for 4 years. I'm well aware of human highs and lows. I respect others grief and lives... but would I date someone who does that? Nurp. Been there, done that...and he threw things at me regularly and pulled me out of my car's open window.

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Originally Posted by blackburry http://www.the16types.info/vbulletin...post-right.png

Sidenote: I'm gamma. I do not break things when I'm angry nor do I surround myself with people who do.


but would I date someone who does that?

*** the answer to your question when u'r done lying to urself and trying to save face for having gone through abusive relationships that drove u into therapy is "yes".

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Originally Posted by Amber

Originally Posted by blackburry http://www.the16types.info/vbulletin...post-right.png

Sidenote: I'm gamma. I do not break things when I'm angry nor do I surround myself with people who do.


but would I date someone who does that?

*** the answer to your question when u'r done lying to urself and trying to save face for having gone through abusive relationships that drove u into therapy is "yes".

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No- I do not throw things. And I precisely stay away from people who do because I was in an abusive relationship earlier in life. It's my rationale for immediately ending a friendship or relationship. If I was saving face, I wouldn't have so openly talked about this or therapy.

You have no point.

Unhealthy people do not and can not recognized healthy human behavior and since they can't tell they often run and blame. That's been my experience. Glad to say that I'm with someone normal and playful, comes from a healthy family and recognizes ill meaning and good meaning intentions by how wrll he gets to know someone because he's had a healthy example, healthy people that set good roles. I was traumatized by assholier than ever LSE before and when my bf started being playful with me by trying to start a pillow fight I broke down and cried because i thought and intrusion of space was not alliwed that is what was rubbed in my head and since thinking that it's healthy physical contact hurts someone I've recoiled and was like a traumatized sheep. My bf cleared that up really fast and I love him for that.idk what to say. If someone is making you feel like shit you're probably with the wrong person. Take my example, I'm happy and in the kind of dual relations this is meant to be.

you brag too much about your totally awesome relationship with your LSE bf to be true

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Originally Posted by Amber

you brag too much about your totally awesome relationship with your LSE bf to be true

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I brag a lot it's true. Come and meet us ;). I do write about the few instances where we've had run ins but those are brushed away so fast and they don't repeat.

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Originally Posted by Maritsa

I brag a lot it's true. Come and meet us ;). I do write about the few instances where we've had run ins but those are brushed away so fast and they don't repeat.

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no, you don't vibe like a happy person. you vibe like like narcissist who posts old Okcupid profiles because they need "recognition" for their relationship on a socionics forum.

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Originally Posted by Amber

no, you don't vibe like a happy person. you vibe like like narcissist who posts old Okcupid profiles because they need "recognition" for their relationship on a socionics forum.

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Oookay...wow you seem angry and bitter. Maybe it is you who isn't happy.

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Originally Posted by Maritsa

Oookay...wow you seem angry and bitter. Maybe it is you who isn't happy.

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derp. "no, it's not me, it's u.".

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Originally Posted by Amber

derp. "no, it's not me, it's u.".

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Or "I suspect that you're not happy" why? Because as the point of this thread goes you are something out of this world when it comes to not suspecting bad things about people. Try using your base function. Build relationships and stop knocking people down

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Originally Posted by Maritsa

Or "I suspect that you're not happy" why? Because as the point of this thread goes esu are skmething out of this world when it comes to not suspecting bad things about people. Try using your base function. Build relationships and stop knocking people down

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maritsa, all u have to say about relationships is a projection of your own experience or parroted socionics intertype theory. not cool. sporadically i can read smth. interesting in ur posts, but this is not the case.

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Originally Posted by Amber

maritsa, all u have to say about relationships is a projection of your own experience or parroted socionics intertype theory. not cool. sometimes i read smth. interesting in ur posts, but this is not the case.

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I am proud of my relationship. That is something that is uncommon to you and which you can not stand when displayed. It isn't my problem but you can learn that people are different and display their joy differently than what you use to judge happiness looking or looks by. It doesn't make it insincere. And, I do talk about it more her because socionics is about intertype relationships. It is not all I post about. It isn't cool for you to bring gloom and mask it in untrue cloud.

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Originally Posted by Maritsa

I am proud of my relationship. That is something that is uncommon to you and which you can not stand when displayed. It isn't my problem but you can learn that people are different and display their joy differently than what you use to judge happiness looking or looks by. It doesn't make it insincere. And, I do talk about it more her because socionics is about intertype relationships. It is not all I post about. It isn't cool for you to bring gloom and mask it in untrue cloud.

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hehe. it does make it insincere. u have no clue about what my relationships have been like because u'r too absorbed in ur own stuff and that clouds ur judgement. but i concur, ur interest in socionics that ur life centers on makes u very smart.

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Originally Posted by Amber

you brag too much about your totally awesome relationship with your LSE bf to be true

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...Because she's happy, and he and their relationship are on her mind. :shrug:

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Originally Posted by Eliza Thomason

...Because she's happy, and he and their relationship are on her mind. :shrug:

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I can tell who's fake and who's heavenly happy myself, you don't have to advocate for her now. i don't know if I prefer your religious illusions though.

dionysius is back? lol

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Originally Posted by Amber

I can tell who's fake and who's heavenly happy myself, you don't have to advocate for her now. i don't know if I prefer your religious illusions though.

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that is still in line with what the op is saying about ESI that they are unfoundedly suspicious and because of that get crazy negative. please evaluate your attitude.

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Originally Posted by Maritsa

that is still in line with what the op is saying about ESI that they are unfoundedly suspicious and because of that get crazy negative. please evaluate your attitude.

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aah, I have to correct you: the OP only said stuff about his (ex-)girlfriend and their unhealthy relationship in this thread, not about ESIs.

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Originally Posted by wacey

Nobody besides myself and Enjoy and BB and May and Sienna and a little bit of FDG have really given all that good advice. Everyone has just said, hey look she's crazy insecure, lets not find out what can be done, just dump the chick and be rid of it. Apparently none of you were young people once actually having relationships that were messy and imperfect. How did you ever find out what you DID want, if you never lived through what you DID NOT?

Your perfect human being awards will be arriving in the mail. There will be an award ceremony where your adoring fans will congratulate you on becoming masters of the universe.

He's banging an older women, regardless of wether or not she's got issues, that fact alone makes his situation more interesting and obviously he's putting in the time and effort to figure it out. Who know's? Maybe he will break up with her, but at least he learned a bit about himself in the process. And he remained loyal to a person he says he loves. Is that a fault?

I don't really care what sociotype you are Dionysius, I like you. You've got some life to you and something interesting to say besides all the carbon copied socionics canon I've read a hundred times before.

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I've worked through years of really tough relationships with morally immature people (like OPs fi base gf). These experiences led me to agree with the others who have said "runnnn muthafuckaaaaa runnnn"
I'd be out like sauerkraut unless the sex was awesome and in that case I'd reduce it to a sexual relationship with no benefits, like emotional support.

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Originally Posted by Maritsa

ahahahaha you score +1

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+2 for accuracy
-1 for sad

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Originally Posted by wacey

Well, I guess that means you never learned any maladaptive coping strategies and getting your needs met in healthy ways as opposed to scenarios of acting out with violence or breaking things.

I did. I threw two plates against walls in my younger years and I am not proud of it. I also punched a truck and was arrested and charged with mischief, by my ex boyfriend. Not proud of that either. I'm gamma as well. I can say those episodes are moments of extreme stress, pressure, hurt, anger, loneliness, fear, frustration and grief. I would tend to agree with you, I would not choose to surround myself with people who are suffering in that manner.

As a future nurse? you are going to encounter many, many people in distress.

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1. I've broken plenty of stuff but i think it's funny.
2. Your last sentence is a very helpful thing to say.

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Originally Posted by carrina

I've worked through years of really tough relationships with morally immature people (like OPs fi base gf). These experiences led me to agree with the others who have said "runnnn muthafuckaaaaa runnnn"
I'd be out like sauerkraut unless the sex was awesome and in that case I'd reduce it to a sexual relationship with no benefits, like emotional support.

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yeah same. I think ppl got to work through thier own journey dont you agree?