Member Questionnaire (Nevra)
Member Questionnaire
What is beauty? What is love?
Something is beautiful when it has impact. It should hit me in the gut and move me. Like when I think back about it after a long time and still feel the connection, that it stayed with me. Love is subjective.
What are your most important values?
I need a goal in life, something I can strive for.
Do you have any sort of spiritual/religious beliefs, and why do you hold (or don't) those beliefs in the first place?
I don’t believe in God.
Opinion on war and militaries? What is power to you?
War is violence. I abhor violence.
Power is Power. No clue how to describe it further.
What have you had long conversations about? What are your interests? Why?
Dunno not much of a talker most of the time irl. I pursue my interests in private.
Interested in health/medicine as a conversation topic? Are you focused on your body?
I don’t discuss my bodily functions with people.
I’m neglectful of my body. Sometimes people have to remind me to eat.
What do you think of daily chores?
I don’t think about them. I just do, what I think needs to be done that day.
Books or films you liked? Recently read/watched or otherwise. Examples welcome.
Recently watched:
The Philadelphia Story - funny dialogue
L’Eclisse - very subtle despiction of two people who might be in love, but it leads nowhere, it was not enough*
La Notte - the ending kinda moved me, subtle despiction of the death of a relationship and the resulting feeling of emptiness and ‚what now?‘*
* just my personal ramble
Reading material: I don’t know. I like to read, but I wouldn’t consider me to be very well read (compared to other people). I like crime novels (lol) and books that really go deep into peoples psyches, like when they reflect about their life. I also like books with a set of characters and the analysis of the the relationship each character has with each other.
Last thing that really left a deep impression was a book about a women who was locked up/held captured by her rapist and the ongoing psychological battle she had with him. Yeah that's morbid but idk...
What has made you cry? What has made you smile? Why?
I cry when I’m very stressed and pissed (seldom though).
I smile at people, I like and dogs. My smile can sometimes be more of the internal kind.
Sometimes it's nice to keep things inside, where other people cannot see them.
Oscar Wilde and funny animal videos always make me lol.
Where do you feel: at one with the environment/a sense of belonging?
Anywhere I can be alone and feel at one with myself.
What have people seen as your weaknesses? What do you dislike about yourself?
Real ‚character flaws‘: bottling up of /repression of anger, it’s boiling beneath the surface for some time and then I might explode (seldom) or implode and regret it. I dislike that very much about me.
I also think, that I’m not very aware of my emotions most of the time. Like the real emotions, not thinking or rationalizations. Like I just do my things and then stuff happens and it‘s very hard for me to feel out what’s going on, like there is idk... and then I just shrug it off and move on and then like some time later it, (out of the blue) it might catch up with me and I start to feel overwhelmed. I hate that surfacing of raw emotion. I like to feel calm and collected.
I thinks that's also one of the reasons why I can’t stand being around highly charged emotional environments. Like they disrupt my inner calm world and I just can‘t deal with that. I think some people might pick that up about me and think of me as cold, not caring and that I should work on it and be open to people and their stuff, let the emotion happen and yeah... idk.
I can also be nervous about minor things. I can get touchy then and might overreact about stuff. I'm trying to be more relaxed about that.
There are probably more things. But that’s enough for today.
What have people seen as your strengths? What do you like about yourself?
Perseverance, Optimism
In what areas of your life would you like help?
I don’t want help dealing with my life.
Ever feel stuck in a rut? If yes, describe the causes and your reaction to it.
Yes, and then I get over myself.
What qualities do you most like and dislike in other people? What types do you get along with?
Going with the people that I know longest and feel at ease with:
People who can forgive. I find that really admirable.
People who are kind. Kind people always make me calmer and I feel more at ease.
I dislike: Violence, Getting at me with an overbearing, demanding and pressuring attitude.
I can get extremely mulish and irrationally stubborn when that happens
How do you feel about romance/sex? What qualities do you want in a partner?
I think above all I want to feel connected. Like the other person feels real to me.
If you were to raise a child, what would be your main concerns, what measures would you take, and why?
I would be really afraid that I couldn’t love/stand my child.
No idea what ‚measures‘ one would take then.
Like practical matters, sooner or later I will be able to manage.
But resenting my child, that would scare me.
A friend makes a claim that clashes with your current beliefs. What is your inward and outward reaction?
Actions before Words.
How do you choose your friends and how do you behave around them?
I have no clue how I would ‚choose‘ it’s more like there is something (intuitive decision?)
I behave, how I behave.
How do you behave around strangers?
Reserved, calm, contained. Sometimes nervous and high strung.
Sorry about punctuation and grammar. I always have been crappy about that.
Tbh this Questionnaire kinda sucks, the questions are so... idk abstract?
General thoughts I have: I‘m not a logical type. I’m not a p.
‘Deep Thoughts’ with Nymeria … reloaded.
How does something form, something that is important to you, that you value?
I think there is a part that can be happening in stillness and silence, where you might instinctually feel resonance with something you are engaging with and a part in living/feeling and evaluating. It just happens for everyone by just living and what someone can carry within them, is not always easy to put into words. Maybe instinctually it is sometimes easier to put into action.
When the end is all that matters, why do we need to think about internal things and about intention. Because it can show us where we want to steer something or where something might be heading.
Why do we look at candidates in an election regarding their ‘standpoints’- their base points. Because we want to know where something might be going. So internal is one thing. Execution the other.
So we established the look from both sides of the medal.
Inside yourself you feel your basis and your compass. I believe that the process is about developing the sense for it, the thinking/logic, the feeling by being there.
I feel it as an inner fundament and compass and it can give you sense/intelligence for dealing with others and yourself and other things in life, I think.
And an inner compass might give you strength and inner stability. What you have inside flow into your actions and influence the dynamics outside.
Like and an internal anchor point where outside dynamics move about. Every decision on the way, might need a new hearing inside, to determine if you are grounded with sth. happening outside.
Otherwise you might steer around but you might not like, where you have ended.
So the process-in real time? Developing, not ‘ready made’.
From inner to connection to sth outside.
From a sense of inner working and a sense of interpersonal working you feel that people also have a sense for the bigger picture. Your inner connection to it. Or your view of yourself in the whole of all people.
Now at this point I don’t get your ‘higher instance’. I can believe in the sense of a bigger picture of your internal strength in trying to get a good outcome, but here it is:
With goals that cannot be accomplished by one person alone, you have a lot of people with different thoughts and values and experiences who now have to get together, to accomplish something.
I don’t think of it like big daddy in the sky watching you like how it is often when it goes with morals and good and bad. Like thumbs up, thumbs down, me likey, or you better not.
How does a higher instance come to ‘good’ and ‘bad’ in the bigger context.*** If you view it as a personal dominance (moral authority) thing you are actually back at the personal.
Death, destruction and hunger is the bad outcome. Then I think it’s back at execution dynamics and skills to prevent or to get a better outcome.
Honestly no idea on ‘moral authority’ ‘übermensch’ for me.
*** This also with Karma. I mean when Karma is, like how it often is, the feeling of my extended ‘spiritual’ arm. Me not likey with something and ‘Karma’ will manage for me. Karma as the ‘higher instance’. Then you are back at the personal again and with the bigger picture, you should actually be at the complete opposite. Like it is not looking at the personal, it’s looking at everything, when you think about it as this benevolent ‘good’ force. lmao may the force be with you.