Difference between enneagram type 2 and 4
I can't tell if I am 2w1 or 4.
I was pretty set on 2w1 for 6 months+ but it seems less clear. Things are just overlapping. I don't know :(
Elaborating:
I am very nurturing and caring (which is probably going to make more people type me SEI lmao) particularly towards children. I think it roots back to my own rocky childhood though. When I'm around my niece and nephews, I am trying to provide them with stability and happiness that I know they probably aren't getting elsewhere. (It's hard to give the full story but basically my sisters are shitty parents and I've half raised their children.) And I love doing things that will make them smile. BUT this could also be a part of my 4 identity.
Another thing is ... Giving/receiving. Before I moved to Florida I was living with my sisters and kind of my mom and although I was working like 50 hours a week with hardly any bills I never had money. Why? Well... About $200 to my mom each month (another thing I don't feel like explaining but she was a mess and had lost her possessions), gifts, giving my friends money (because they had more important things to pay for than I did), on top of buying them lunch fairly often... It made me happy knowing they didn't have to worry but after awhile I felt unappreciated, which is why I bring up the next point.
Disintegrating into 8! The worst thing about me, but you only see if you are close to me, otherwise you would never suspect it. I've noticed this in me since I was about 5 - how manipulative, controlling, possessive, bossy, and mostly just DEMANDING I could be. I certainly don't do it on purpose... It just comes out. Disintegration into 8 + strong, even though it's not valued, Fi demonstrative just creates an invincible monster. This is one huge reason I don't think I'm a 4. 4's are a lot more whiny - I'm not whiny at all, just demanding.
Vices: And in this area, 4's vice of envy makes a lot more sense than 2's vice of pride.
IDK!!! There was more that I wanted to post but this is long and I don't remember right now and I'm tired. :( anyways - can anyone give input?