As per the title. As a Merry or Serious quadra member, do you find the way the other side of the dichotomies expresses emotions or feelings to be suspicious or untrustowrthy, or "off" in any way?
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As per the title. As a Merry or Serious quadra member, do you find the way the other side of the dichotomies expresses emotions or feelings to be suspicious or untrustowrthy, or "off" in any way?
Um, I wouldn't say Fe comes off as "suspicious" as much as I would call it clueless. Fe valuers can seem very oblivious to my inner workings, like they see what I consider to be immovable as a mutable object that can be played with. They can seem too eager to change how I feel about something without considering the meaning or reason behind that feeling.
The word I would use is "insincere". Sometimes it feels like they're trying to sell me on something they think I wouldn't be happy with unless they presented it a certain way.
It can seem insincere, fake. Sometimes it just feels as over the top and unescessary.
Fe and Fi are the same right? Just in two different worlds.
Fi types don't like to let people get too excited or riled up. it often feels dishonest to me.
I met this IEE a while ago. At present he seems a bit overeager to get to know me and seems inappropriately friendly. It's just really weird to me. Then again this EIE girl out of nowhere decided she was my best friend and biggest supporter and was totally out to help me do the impossible and kick reason to the curb. I'm about equally suspicious of both, so maybe I'm just naturally very slow to trust people of unclear motive?
I think something that's important for people to remember is that an attitude towards a certain function is not type dependent. It's based on your experiences, imo. I grew up in a house where both Fe and Fi were prioritized, maybe a little more on the Fe side. I can see how someone who didn't have much exposure to Fx will find it suspicious since usually you'd find one or the other as a more convincing way to gauge interpersonal relationships. People who focus on Fe are able to create "loving" environments a lot faster that Fi people, who tend to undervalue and are hesitant of free expression of gay emotions in the environment. It seems to me that those who prioritize Fi create unnecessary rules before being open to emotionally express themselves in their environment, which is something that feels really good if you just let go. However, it doesn't mean that I won't find it annoying when I'm in a group that solely focuses on Fe, because it feels empty to me. The combination of both is really nice, when you can appreciate what both contribute.
At least to me it just makes me uncomfortable since I can't gauge well what's going on. There's a lot of uncertainty about what the people might really be feeling underneath.Quote:
Originally Posted by glamourama
I seem too eager to change how you're feeling, because you always seem sad and kinda self-hating to me. And I guess that's why I want to empower you. But clearly, you're too stubborn in that. I don't know. To me it's like, why would anybody want to hold onto their pain like it means something? So I have this instinctive urge to lighten you up, because it also makes ME lighten up. I won't do that anymore though if it bothers you. (but I admit it will be hard for me and like I have to always monitor my reactions to you which might be too hard and make me feel like I'm walking on eggshells)Quote:
Fe valuers can seem very oblivious to my inner workings, like they see what I consider to be immovable as a mutable object that can be played with. They can seem too eager to change how I feel about something without considering the meaning or reason behind that feeling.
You can feel however you want to feel, I just don't understand why anybody wants to be so critical all the time. For me, it's pretty draining and I start to feel guilty over what I said. Not that I want everybody to be hippie nice all the time. But sometimes, I think if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all. I can't imagine that you were treated so poorly in your life (not just you but all fi-valuers) to have such a critical view of people. You always end up apologizing if you have hurt somebody's feelings, because you are human....but it's like why even go there to begin with?
I do consider the meaning or reason why you feel how you feel, and I think I understand it pretty well. I just sort of think it's irrelevant and that you should 'get over that' because in a way, I actually do care about you and just want to see you happy. I know that might seem strange from somebody you barely know online....but it's just the way I feel. =D
I know to you, you think your 'inner workings' are probably more nuanced and complicated than that, and like you want to argue about it. But to me, you're just basically sad- and I want to lift you up. What is interesting though, is that you obviously don't like being bullied either.
What if you positively encouraged somebody , about a trait you don't like instead of criticizing them for it? I think they would take it a lot better and actually start doing what you wanted them to do. But that's where you're 'helpless' and 'victimy' to me, you don't like to think you have that sort of influence. But I just don't believe that.
yes, exactly!!Quote:
Originally Posted by Starfall
But that's when you're dealing with people who don't see any value in Fi matters... People who are self-aware and aren't limited to their own way of looking at things won't be like that.Quote:
Originally Posted by aixelsyd
I agree... I also don't understand avoiding social situations that have a lot of group fun because you want a more 'intimate connection' as if an intimate connection is only possible with you and one other person. I'm more comfortable one on one myself, but I also feel the joy of group orgies. I just don't see group love as diminishing the 'specialness' that people have. But Fi valuers have gotten really super annoyed when I've shared our inside jokes with the outside world.Quote:
It almost seems like Fi types become grumpy & put up a wall when you're having too much fun, so you kind of have to monitor yourself to be more restrained around them. This is why I think it's funny that Fi types see Fe as fake & insincere, while in reality a Fe type holding back would actually be less true to themselves.
I'm naturally going to disconnect personally with people, if I try to get close to one person we're just going to fail, so it's like I have to reach out.
Also I can be incredibly fake and shallow. But that doesn't mean that I'm wrong. If I think you can do something sort of preppy and 'celebrity-ish' to improve your appeal and charisma/likeability to other people, I'm going to say it. It doesn't mean that I don't like you- to me it's a lot nicer to criticize somebody for something shallow than it is to make a deep personal attack that I feel Fi-valuers do. I am being shallow. So why are you taking my shallow as depth? LOL.
That's my interpretation,Quote:
Originally Posted by polikujm
Fi is the introversion
Fe is the extroversion
of the Feeling Function....
Introversion literally means internal facing
Extroversion literally means external facing
To give this some credibility check the second paragraph of Carl Jung's Psychological Types
This is rather accurate...Quote:
Originally Posted by Jung
Fi seeks to withdraw libido from an object which they feel for
Fe seeks to have their subjective attitude oriented by and related to an object which they feel for
Fi seeks to draw feelings inward from an object
Fe seeks to orient their feelings based on interactions with an object
Both are FEELINGS, but one seeks to draw these inward, facing into them... the other seeks to draw themselves out to the object, outward, relating/orienting themselves to it.
I don't have a problem with Fi, most of the times it can be translated into Fe... the biggest problem is with the serious attitude Fi types can have occasionally... especially with moral sentiment that conflicts with a fun mood, and kind of misunderstanding the spirit or mood in a setting because their internal environment is different than the external one.
One big problem with Fi's is that by withdrawing feelings from things into themselves... they tend to have a much stronger structural understanding of their values, but they are less fluid. It requires them a longer time to really let their feeling work in them before they can make sense of something emotionally.
In Fe's, this is nearly instant, they pick up on the mood or feeling quickly, but they suffer vertigo occasionally, being unable to correctly orient themselves, because they are relating themselves externally to something they see, they are drawing themselves out to the object and observing the comparison between that object and themselves, too much orientation and they can get hazy emotionally.
You also have to consider the connection between Fi and Fe and the Auxillary Functions.... Fi with Ne is so so different from Fi with Se; as is Fe with Si and Fe with Ni. The auxillary functions help the Fi type become more fluid and the Fe type become less confused.
This is why I don't find ENFp's so off putting, I really like the Ne a lot -- they adapt quickly to intuition of possibilities, so they always seem more open minded than the stereotypes of Fi... ENFp-ness is like my gateway to understanding Fi. Even though its not model A, I always feel when I get more emotional and progress across quadras, my alphaness goes to ENFp @ delta and to INFp @ beta.... gamma is foreign territory, I've never ever felt like an ESFp or ISFj... that's practically foreign land for me.
I guess that I currently am just wanting to say that the most important thing is BE A DECENT PERSON.
If someone is going to be an ass, I guess I'd prefer they be an Fe ass, because I'm better equipped to handle that.
Fi jackassery is like a minefield to me. Not knowing where things stand, nothing explicit, but something crappy roiling under the surface? No, thanks.
No. In my experience, my judgments about people's sincerity is not type-related.
I'd say the person whose expressed emotions I question most often happens to be an IEE (and if I pry, I find that I'm correct in my suspicions).
I guess some Fi types could have problems with what they perceive as dramatics from Fe types. If I do think an Fe type is "playing something up," I tend to think about whether their motivations in doing so are pure.
Fi jackassery? Examples?
I hate that too. I'd rather know if someone has something against me, just be out with it, and let's get it over with.Quote:
Originally Posted by Golden
no.
Really, just people who are doing shitty things and happen to be Fi-types. There's no cause-effect here. And I don't want to give examples--too much personal stuff.Quote:
Originally Posted by EyeSeeCold
C'mon man, generalizations? I don't want actual happenings.Quote:
Originally Posted by Golden
Sometimes I feel like I don't understand how they're feeling, which makes it a lot more difficult to communicate. Some :Te: types just seem brain-dead when it comes to communication. Most of the time I don't really have a problem with it though. It's only when the :Fi: person decides that they don't like me that the trouble starts. (This may happen without them telling me too.)Quote:
Originally Posted by Thanks Arthur
This is how i see it too. Sometimes it's just funny too, and I laugh at it.Quote:
Originally Posted by Ssmall
I've noticed that when i first meet people, especially if we get along well, I can pump up the Fe for a little while. But if you get to know me, after a while, i will go back to being my quieter, more subdued self.Quote:
Originally Posted by Thanks Arthur
:thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup:Quote:
Originally Posted by Golden
I like how my horrible work computer keeps freezing at just the right time, multiple times a day as i have it stuck over Golden's signature. That's fun. OMG wut is this? Fi??
I generally appreciate Fe types' effort in been open about their emotions and feelings towards others. However, my other impression of Fe types whom I have known IRL (especially the Alpha SFs) is that they tend to say things which people like to hear during conversations with others, rather than been brutally honest when the need arises. Some of my Alpha SF friends would say something as if they agree with and empathize with the other party to make him/her feel better, even though they don't necessarily feel the same way. At times, I feel that some of them lack their individualism as a result as they seem to agree with anything that the other person said.Quote:
Originally Posted by glamourama
They are alpha. -:Fe: Avoiding negative emotions and +:Si: creating good sensations. Beta is the asshole if need be.
I should say also that I have lots of Fe-dominant friends, and I adore them and get along with them well, so this feeling is not a strong tendency.
I usually find Fe inconsistent and clueless about people's real personality and motivations. It's as if they try to project images taken from their environment (or their own preconceptions/ expectations) on people without looking deeply into what makes them who they are. Fe base in particular tries to "move" others, they treat feelings or preferences as something that can be easily influenced (wait till they persuade you to actually feel something else they have in program for you). Fe base prioritizes relationships based on social status, social interest or "what would win many". Fe creative is often wrapped up in their own inner world and may prioritize just about anything based on their moods.
I figure if you're going to be an asshole, at least be consistent about it.
I like Fe types quite a bit. The good ones have this acceptance for people that I truly admire and have a way with people that I like to be around.
I feel shy and ..self-aware when Fe types get too rowdy simply because I'm terrible at faking it and when I do actually get rowdy it's in a...different way than they do.. Idk...I feel like everything goes "deep" with me even when I don't want to such as when I want life to be superficial for a bit just to ease life/emotions ...but I'm always one foot in reality and one foot...in possibilities/worries.. and I end up reading people's intentions even when I don't want to. It's hard for me to just base everything off someone's moods. Fe friends come to me often to talk about their problems simply because they know I'll make time for them. I often like to know where I stand with people as well... but I'm working on that. It gets easier. It gets easier...
Simply put I like to talk to people about my problems who won't give out blanket praises for every obstacle I face, "IT'LL GET BETTER I PROMISE"..because sometimes it won't get better. I do appreciate encouraging words and someone rooting for me...as it makes it feel like I'm not alone but sometimes it's nice to hear, "hey dude, you're kind of fucked. but it's okay. wanna cry?"
I wouldn't use the word suspicious, but that we come from different points of view or values that the other person doesn't appreciate to the point that it can sometimes be impossible to reconcile. For example, I had a problem with a roommate that couldn't relate with people on a personal level; I had this intuition that he had to try to be friendly, but I was okay with it. It was only a problem when one day, after not seeing me for months, he decided he was going to tell me to take out the trash. It pissed me off because he was talking down to me like I was a child and I barely knew this dude and he knew almost nothing about me; but his response to my being agitated was that I was rude; but I was going to throw the trash away because it wasn't that big a deal to me, except he added about 3 times the trash that was there that day to leave for me to throw away, I guess to make some point. That pissed me off and I unloaded on his contradictory behavior in a text message and what I thought about him and he did the same. Then in person he responded by saying to never "talk to him like that" and that I needed to "act like an adult", whatever he thought that was supposed to mean and I told him the same and to go fuck himself. I ended up moving out because he seemed to really hate me after that, but in the end I got the feeling that he had a disconnect with understanding why other people felt the way they did and instead wanted to replace interpersonal understanding with behavioral expectations. The thing that sucks most is that as this was going on I asked around and found out other people had the same problems with him. I guess it was a bit consoling because sometimes stuff like that can make me feel like it's my fault, if I don't know any better.
When I'm open about my feelings which I'm often not and when I explain to Fe types that I'm in a bad mood hence my reactions Fe types show warmth and affection which I greatly appreciate so I do not resent them. They can be caring
Fi feels like a minefield. I wish people would just tell me what they were feeling so that I could treat them accordingly. :(
that's probably a big problem with the divide actually. neither side can read the other other side's signals as accurately, are uncertain what each gesture means.
and *this*. + 10,000Quote:
Originally Posted by Starfall
I love Fe. But I need Fi. The only time I get annoyed with Fe is when it's directly opposed to Te and is "messing things up" from my perspective.
Suspicious? No. But i do wonder why Fi types are always so angry and moody all the time.
A response could be that the world is a fucked up place and that all the fun and happiness and brazeness of Fe is kinda like blowing your nose loudly during a funeral in a church, and oh, it's one of your family members' funerals.Quote:
Originally Posted by Pookie
I like Fe fine, but to me it's sometimes unapproperiate and ignorant. That said, that's what i like about it too and what i try to bring to the forum. I can be angry and moody anywhere ^^
Yes
I get that. It's just the way i see it, why would i want to teach the anyone in the world(through my actions) to be a angry moody person. I've been around little children my entire life so there's that aspect of it that influences my thought process here; Others will learn from my behavior.Quote:
Originally Posted by Reficulris
There's always someone in the world with a worse situation than you that's also happier than you. It's like, that person had so much going against them and you(second person sense) didn't, but they still lived a richer life than you due to youre own attitude. Life is about being happy, and identifying the things that make you happy. Hopefully growing into a person that the things that make you happy, are good for the benefit of others as well.
Getting upset at some minor inconvenience(and most are), is just like, "Get over yourself".
Yeah, but it's not really that Fi types are angry moody people; it's more that they are emotionally receptive and have to deal with that in their heads, which makes it somewhat contradictory to act in a way that goes against an internal understanding of the emotional tensions around them. Fe types probably aren't feeling those tensions much to begin because they can be so easily ignored, so of course they are going to seem trivial to them; and of course they will instead strive to get people to feel a certain way based on how they think they should feel, rather than how the person actually feels.Quote:
Originally Posted by Pookie
Damn you to hell functions :mad:
I don't find Fi suspicious at all, if anything, Fe is much more suspicious.
What I dislike about Fi is more the feeling of walking on eggshells, hypocrisy under the guise of moral superiority, dispassion and general killjoy vibe. This doesn't apply to all serious quadra types or individuals though.
Not at all, but I'm often clueless about their social games / specific niceties / "inside jokes" / prying to get a reaction. I guess I can find a lot of Fe "confusing" rather than "suspicious".
no.
i feel like Fe-egos have this ability to close their eyes and pretend something very obvious and real in front of them doesn't exist, which makes me really uncomfortable because the moment i go "uh well you know there's a bird shitting on your head right" i've conducted a social faux-pas and i've offended someone or disappointed someone and there are too many implicit rules that i don't instinctively understand. IMO people in this thread are somewhat misrepresenting Fi in that regard. sure, Fi types have rules but they are explicit rules. relationships and appropriateness of things is much more quantified in a way. you talk to strangers a certain way, you talk to very close friends a certain way, there are very few gray areas, just a lot of blocks to get stuck inside. Fe types, on the other hand, seem to straddle this grey area like champs, in fact they can sail from one (to my mind "state") to the other with no transition, so well that it baffles me, because i can't do that. i need to have a moment where i go from "not friend" to "friend", or at least a slow enough transition that i can easily track, whereas for Fe types it's one continuous spectrum.
i regularly feel like bull in a china shop around Fe-egos because i don't understand the very nuanced rules they create on the spot for social situations, i.e. implicit rules in contrast with the suffocating cagey nature of Fi with its explicit rules. a lot of the times i've said things that hurt the person because of the context, rather than my words in particular (i.e. if i had said the same words in a different context, it wouldn't be offensive). a lot of the times i've emoted something or brought a topic up at the "wrong place and wrong time", as per my SEI friend (and by this, i don't mean laughing at a funeral or something sociopathic, but even very mild things like bringing up scholarship applications while music was playing in the car, because apparently something that serious ruins the music). there just seem to be a lot more rules for maintaining this implicit continuity, which is highly restrictive to me because i don't want to monitor the... uh emotive quality of my tone/words every time i want to speak, so i just i end up being quiet and not saying anything.
tl;dr, stereotypes are dumb and Fe can be suffocatingly diffusive for Fi types as well.
I like you, Pookie, so please don't take this the wrong way.Quote:
Originally Posted by Pookie
I will use an example. R's father asked us to be with him while he went to the dr to receive his diagnosis of cancer. He knew the emotions would hit him, and knew his wife wouldn't emotionally support him. He knew his emotional state would interfere with his ability to listen to the dr and ask questions. And that his wife wouldn't. So we went. And for the first time in 10 years, I wanted to shake some sense and compassion into that woman. The whole time the dr was talking, she was making some comments about how he went in for one thing (i forgot, maybe a cough?) and it turned into colon cancer. And when her husband started tearing up, being overwhelmed with fear, she nonchalantly started telling him that people have had cancers and diseases worse than him, and some lived. And if he didn't, then at least he'd had a good life. The dr finally interrupted her and told R's dad that he certainly wasn't going to belittle him nor his fears. That yes, people have had it worse, but his pain and fear was not to be compared to theirs. This was HIS battle, at THIS time and place and for the next 6 months of chemo. And he and his staff would help him through the health aspects, and the emotional fears and turmoils. And that he was free to express his emotions around them.
I was so grateful for that dr, speaking up, telling his cancer patient that it's ok to be scared and it's ok to cry, to be angry, and any other feelings that might come up as he goes through a scary time in HIS life.
I don't believe emotions can/should be compared to other people's and deemed wrong or inappropriate in and of themselves. To do so rejects/suppresses the innate nature of the person. What we DO with those emotions, how we act from or despite them, however, might be open to judgement.
A FLASH OF LIGHTNING BREAKS THRU THE CLOUD OF SUSPICION
THE HANDS OF LOVE HEALS IT
LIGHTNING AND LOVE NO ONE CAN DENY
i dont have much patience for posting about this stuff anymore but im super stoked about the quality of discussion here, especially snowballs and radios posts. this post is superfluous but whatever, yay!
TBH this sounds just like a kinda socially maladjusted person. Not really sure this is Fi vs Fe. more Non F ego v.s. F ego maybe..Quote:
Originally Posted by Snowball
As an aside, i'd have dumped the trash on his bed. Or rallied people to "take the trash out" meaning getting the guy to leave.
This was on the sx/sp thread, but I think it fits my experience with Fe egos well. It comes from an sx/sp description.
I really can't stand it when I'm in a group of Fi egos and one Fe ego attacks me because they think I'm killing the mood. Obviously all the Fi egos couldn't care less.Quote:
Originally Posted by silke
I'm only suspicious of Beta (possibly Alpha too I suppose) Fe egos when I know that they don't like me. I've met quite a few who have a tendency to try to turn whole groups against you.
well i think that one thing you have to remember is that Fe types really value Ti, as in they aren't necessarily trying to deliver a "real feeling" but rather a "real idea." the Fe changes depending on who the Fe person is speaking to b/c they think that person might not "hear' the idea correctly unless they deliver it a certain way. but at the end of the day you might argue that Fe person are not really trying to change your deep underlying feelings (definitely not your Fi feelings), they are trying to get you to *think* about something in a different way.
conversely Fe/Ti people have to remember that Fi people are not trying to use subjectivity to convince them of something. it can look false too, like using subjectivity where subjectivity has no place. Fi people are trying to communicate how they feel, not necessarily some x y z of how things work or not. it can sound like they are communicating a skewed x y z if you are listening to the Ti behind it. but it's a totally different thing. it's like a different inner world that Fe/Ti people are genuinely not always sensitive towards or attuned to.
Edit: actually Fi people probably are trying to use subjectivity to convince you of something, (just not a Ti something) I think what I said was condescending, I apologize.
I thought the introverted function was more concerned about how it felt so you can Fi types not getting along with each other now that is fun :)
In the theory Fi and Fe-types are not have a suspicious character. What sign of suspicious? :Ne: in 4th position on Model A (vulnerable function). So, Maxim and Dreizer have suspicious character. My practice is confirm it.Quote:
Originally Posted by darya
I agree, Maxim and Dreiser are both very suspicious.
Fi are deceitful conniving bitches and assholes.
As usual, I'm just not sure that all of the above is actually down to Socionics. The only problems I can say I sometimes experience with Fe versus Fi are as follows:
* a differing perception of where social boundaries lie
* a confusing gap, from my pov, between what some Fi egos and valuers say, and what they do
* less need in Fi to positively validate others
* a sense that someone else's (Fi) values are being foisted on me
But those things are not universal Fi vs. Fe ime; exceptions abound.
And as I've said before, Fe and Fi types seem to accuse each other of the same things, i.e., being fake, being unpredictable, being bitchy, even being dramatic.
Yeah I would agree with this, in general.Quote:
Originally Posted by Kpz
less suspicious than not fully forthcoming. it's like there's an implicit code one is expected to follow (this is more so the case with deltas, as gammas, despite being more severe in ways, tend to be a bit more informal), with one's worth judged accordingly. to me it should be the natural outcome of the subtleties of a person's behavior and expression, not based on some all-encompassing ethical judgment.
sounds potentially deltaQuote:
Originally Posted by Snowball
Fe egos have strong Fi so I get along with them well. Their strong but unvalued Fi sometimes misleads me about how close we are, though.
Ti egos on the other hand... yeah, only in small doses. I find it hard to connect with them unless I unquestionably agree with their logic, which they seem to think is universal.
Yeah, I've been told to punch him in the face, among other things, but I don't see how escalating conflict would really solve it? Maybe it would have with that kind of person, but I don't like being aggressive or violent, if I'm not sure it's required or even necessary. I'm not sure, but I think I made the right choice because he probably had some issues that he needed to work on himself before involving other people with them.Quote:
Originally Posted by Reficulris
Suspicious isn't the word that comes to mind. Usually the words "demanding," "judgmental" or "irrational" do, depending entirely on the context involved.
Hm. I'm not super confident in my Fe/Fi typings of late, but my standard complaint against Fi egos is that they feel to me to be too neat, too corny, too inclined to believe in boring platitudes... but then I don't know if that's really type related. Lately I've been thinking of Fi as the overwhelming feeling gestalt based on the mind's internal "summary" of all the information of experience one has about a given subject. So I suppose the most type related complaint I can come up with re: Fi egos is that they seem, to me, to cover their emotions in right/wrong terms, terms which I instinctively expect to be grounded in a Ti logical system. This is often expressed in phrases that feel to me pre-defensive, as in: "I just don't think that's appropriate to... [insert transgression here]." And it would be one thing if this were a commonly-held opinion that the speaker knows that his/her audience shares, or something that can be deduced from prior agreed-upon principles (which sounds more formal and staid than it plays out in conversation). But it's really that personal feelings gestalt, the "I feel bed about this" or "I feel that this is unjust" rather than "I can show you WHY this is unjust because of x, y, and z." So I suppose for me it's ultimately more a Ti/Fi conflict than an Fe/Fi conflict. I mean, I think there's a place for the sort of loud n rowdy no holds barred energy thing of Fe people, and that's why I hang around theater people and why people with loud emotions more easily and obviously make sense to me. But, I'm a pretty chill, slow, easygoing person naturally anyway, so I don't need to be around the fast-emotion high-energy Fe crowd all the time anyway. And at least Fi egos are generally (in my experience) courteous. I have more of a problem with people who just make situations uncomfortable and like don't even try to have social skills. Very annoying, that. But presumably adorably inept when it comes to SLEs. Presumably. (I mean it is adorable because they try. So hard. But like don't tell them I said that. They're actually really funny and good at crowds and being entertaining and stuff. Totally. Sorta.)
"Suspicious", no. "Disorienting", "overblown", yes.
Though honestly, when I think of highly extroverted and overly-friendly people (which I tend to associate, perhaps incorrectly, with :Fe: types), those do make me suspicious. I'm like, "Oh god, who are you and why are you being so friendly to me? I don't even know you. This is not okay."
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. I hate when people do the above.
Re: not include new people and only talk crap about people.
I talk crap but in a teasing way... And if I tease you...generally it means I feel comfortable (and hopefully you'll laugh and tease me back cuz if not...gets awkward). And my bad.