Biological parents, BTW
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Biological parents, BTW
Duals (EIE-Fe/LSI-Se).
benefit LSE father/ ILE mother
Duals.
And for the record, that's not how I typed them.
Semi-Duals and they show it.
mine are semis also. IEE and SEI.
Duals or conflictors. Leaning duals based on individual analysis, leaning conflictors based on relationship analysis (i.e., they're definitely better off without one another, suppression of "true self" in the relationship--although some people argue that's just what happens in relationships, lol).
Si-ESFj dad, Si-ISFp mom
Duality is leading!
uh, no. my brother and SIL are duals and they're textbook two sides of the same coin. They wouldn't be THEMSELVES without each other at this point. They're integrated, better because of the other. I don't see how any dual couple truly committed to the relationship could be better off without each other, regardless of subtype or any other kind of details. MAYBE if one or both are extremely unhealthy. Talk to us about your parents, maybe we can figure it out! lolQuote:
Originally Posted by silverchris9
Bing bing bing!Quote:
Originally Posted by redbaron
Except it's not a maybe, and it doesn't have to be extreme levels of unhealthiness. Stressors from outside the relationship can also break things down (say if Chris's parents were experiencing financial hardship or something).
Also, funnily enough, serious differences in values are what tend to drive the "bad" intertype relationships. In Socionics terms these value clashes are related to the assumptions one makes about how the world works and how people interact with and understand it. You can have value clashes outside of Socionics that will interfere with an otherwise positive intertype, making each partner seem incomprehensible to the other.
Assuming I have typed my parents correctly, they would have a superego relation. My mom is EII my dad is LSI. I'm still not entirely sure of my dad's type. The other option would be SLI but in terms of relations, my parents fit the superego description far better than activity.
yeah you're totally right. In my brother's (lucky) case, all of their values, socionics and otherwise, line up like ducks in a row. :DQuote:
Originally Posted by Thanks Arthur
I'm happy to see the number of duals. :)
Mine are illusionaries: IEE (mother) and ILI (father). They were married for 21 years.
Supervision to a "T", mom (ILE) dad (LSI), they're still married :?
that's encouraging. :thumbsup: not...no longer married?Quote:
Originally Posted by April
duals a big lead
supervision & benefit tied for second
activity and semi dual tied for third
mirror, lookalike, comparative, illusionary coming in fourth
interesting....about 30% are duals 70% non duals. does this explain divorce?
Well, 48% belong to type relations I'd expect to work out properly (dual, kindred, activity, mirror, identity), but yeah probably.Quote:
Originally Posted by Blaze
My stepfather is the only father figure I have had, so he is being listed. My mother is ESE, though I am willing to consider EIE, and my stepfather may well be LSI; so possible semi-/duals. They've been married roughly 17.5 years, and she stays for the kids' sake. She jokes that she can tell PMS has hit when she starts considering murder or divorce. She gets tired of always being wrong, always being at fault, and being treated like she's stupid.Quote:
Originally Posted by 1981slater
That doesn't sound like a dual relationship. Given the choices it's most likely she actually is ESE.
Yeah. My reasons for considering EIE have nothing to do with their relationship. I just hadn't ruled out Ni>Si.Quote:
Originally Posted by Aleksei
Quote:
Originally Posted by Aleksei
kindred??? identity??? mirror??? wow i really don't think so.
Why not?
Mostly the way she neglects her appearance. She dressed others well but didn't always take the time to do the same for herself. She also gets tired of Dad being too "nice" to people who need to be firmly told "this is how it is". The arguments for Si that I can think of are a sort of short-term view concerning money (she needs to learn to save for upcoming things better) and her tendency to redecorate the main bathroom with the seasons. Some ESE things do fot, and it doesn't seem bad, really; I'm just not 100% set on it.
kindred: massive competition and differences in expectationsQuote:
Originally Posted by Aleksei
mirror: mini supervision and with logicals, who the heck does the ethics?
identity: boring
MaybeQuote:
Originally Posted by Blaze
Quote:
Originally Posted by Groucho Marx
yep, though identity and mirror have a bigger succes rate when it is between ethicals.Quote:
Originally Posted by Blaze
Wow, this is an unusual one. Most romantic relationships I see are between extro/intro types, especially Dual, Mirror, Supervision, and Conflict. (@Blaze Mirror seems to be pretty common, actually. Possibly second after Dual.)Quote:
Originally Posted by warrior-librarian
Duals in socionics, conflictors in enneagram.
I'm pretty sure there's some :Fe:-:Ti: interaction going on there. Not sure what. I heard someone suggest ILE father-SEI mother, once, but my father doesn't seem to have the "expansiveness" of an :Ne:-base, although it's possible.
aw too bad. two logicals...that's the downfall.Quote:
My parents are LSI (f) / LIE (m). Had a really terrible relationship, and are now divorced. Don't fall for your illusionary...
the success of illusionary depends quite a bit on the issue of rationality.
how long were your parents married?
also i have seen mirror work, like jarno said between ethicals it works a lot better than between logicals.
yes. I know a couple of SEI/ESE mirror couples that seem okay. I also know a LSI/SLE couple that's had more rough spots, probably because they lack the ethical element.Quote:
Originally Posted by Blaze
I've only ever typed my parents as either mirror (LSE SLI) or supervision (ESE SLI), but I'm not sure that relationship really describes their dynamic. They separated when I was seven or eight, but neither really dated or even gotten divorced. They've always been good friends. In fact, they still hang out with each other on a pretty much daily basis. I don't know why they split. Maybe they lost trust in each other, maybe they just had too much of each other, or it's some sort of conflict that only happened when they live in the same house (not that I remember anything).
My mom is definitely the dominant one in the relationship. She's pretty energetic, likes to get things done, very talkative. My dad is laidback, seems to have some experience with just about anything that needs to be done, and doesn't say too much. My mom, as fond of exaggeration as she's prone to be, said my dad didn't hardly say a word to her for the first few months they were dating. He's patient, caring, quiet. I've only seen him get angry a few times in my life, mostly about politics. My dad is kind of rigidly ideological. It's not that he has well thought out arguments for his beliefs, if he does he doesn't particularly share them. It's more like an emotional reaction. This is good. This is right. My mom is a lot more pragmatic in that sense. She has her own beliefs but she's more flexible about them. She wants to know why you believe what you do and she'll explain why she does. She's not a fan of inconsistency or hypocrisy. That said, they both have very similar conservative political beliefs.
Actually, I know an SEI-SLE couple and it seems to be pretty much the same relationship. But who knows...Quote:
Originally Posted by Blaze
Something like 10-12 years.Quote:
how long were your parents married?
Hmm, idk. My aunt and uncle are SLI/LSE and they seem to be doing well. I actually don't know about any mirror relations that went terribly wrong.Quote:
also i have seen mirror work, like jarno said between ethicals it works a lot better than between logicals.
Hmm, I don't know any LSEs that I would say are fond of exaggeration. This is just a tiny piece of information, but it definitely points to ESE > LSE.Quote:
Originally Posted by munenori2
yeah i know a couple like this too she is SLE and he is SEI. they get along pretty good. i haven't seen any bad spots w them yet.Quote:
Actually, I know an SEI-SLE couple and it seems to be pretty much the same relationship. But who knows...
yes this is the breaking point for a lot of marriages: the tricky years: 7, 11, and around 20.Quote:
Something like 10-12 years.
i can think of two mirror marriages one is IEE and EII and the other was LII and ILE. the ethical one is fine at 8 years and seems none the worse for the wear. the other one ended at around 5 or 5 years: too much logic.Quote:
Hmm, idk. My aunt and uncle are SLI/LSE and they seem to be doing well. I actually don't know about any mirror relations that went terribly wrong
Interesting, why would that be?Quote:
Originally Posted by Blaze
Agreed. My illusionary and I are both irrationals. And I'm a Feeler and he's a Thinker. We sometimes seem more like semi-duals, too. And sometimes like business.Quote:
Originally Posted by Blaze
esfj/intj text book example of duals.
interesting that there are no identicals. Come to think of it, I don't believe I know ANY identical marriages whatsoever. Anyone else?
Extraverts would divorce, Introverts would probably sink beneath the surface of the earth, never to be seen from or heard of ever again.
Yeah man, I agree. I only really typed her as LSE when I first came to socionics. But hell, back then I thought I was EII and Katy Perry was LSE.Quote:
Originally Posted by thehotelambush
lolz
I know a guy whose parents are both SEE, he's SEE and his sister is SEE. They are gypsies, and I think that most people of this ethnicity are sensors.Quote:
Originally Posted by aixelsyd
it does feel like business sometimes! wow...that really resonates with me, too. perhaps the Ne/Ni interaction produces this feeling?Quote:
Originally Posted by pianosinger
the logic-ethics axis seems more important relationally than the sensing-intuitive axis. but it guess it really all depends on contextual factors. it seems like i've had beta relationships for so long, i'm more used to it.
it's what i've observed anecdotally, but confirmed in _the mathmatics of marriage_Quote:
Originally Posted by Thanks Arthur
the idea is that communication problems tend to intensify exponentially. the greater the inherent differences in expectations the sooner the marriage unravels. rick posted about this book in one of his blogs.
i'd further theorize that the greater the discrepancy in expectations vis a vis socionics, the sooner the marriage unravels.
i know of one conflict marriage. the couple, IEI and LSE, split up after about 7 years, no children involved. massive differences in expectations. one clear different was their orientation towards money. the LSE was a saver and planner, the IEI spent money like water. this last, though is the perception of my delta parents, so naturally, what they focus on is more in favor of the LSE.
i would speculate that opposing quadra marriages would be the ones to last 7 years or less.
adjoining quadra relations could last 11 - 20 years, depending on whether there was competition between partners (eg, static-static, logical-logical and so forth). for example, perhaps illusionary, semi dual, benefit could last a little longer.
this whole thread is increasing my anxiety though. coming out of a divorce, you can clearly look back and see why things didn't work in your marriage, so you strive to avoid those making those mistakes again. i worry about the differences in expectations i have with my current partner and how these will express themselves over a long time frame.
I think so.Quote:
Originally Posted by Blaze
Hello!
Hi Slater. :DQuote:
Originally Posted by 1981slater
Interesting to see so many dual parents. Maybe its not just a coincidence.
My dad is INTp and my mom INFj so benefit where my dad is the benefactor.
That is a quite remarkable observation...Quote:
Originally Posted by redbaron
Oh crap, my brother and his gf are SLI identicals.
Edit: okay, they are not married and they are together for 2 years or something.
My dad is SLE, and my mom is SEI (possible ESE but unlikely), so they're probably illusionaries. Been together for almost 30 years now and still clearly love each other.
I must have missed this thread way back when. Fascinating results...even taking into account wishful thinking this is very telling data.
I was thinking of starting a thread investigating relationship length and type of relations, perhaps mostly utilising data from parents and grandparents for those who are younger! Perhaps this would be a better place. It would be interesting also to see if supposedly beneficial relations had an improved effect on lifespan, but I guess we wouldn't be able to get enough data.
Duals, but they have no idea.
My father would laugh Socionics off for useless BS and my mother would think it's a totally different kind of content that made it a solid relationship. And they'd both be right lol.
It's actually really weird, but after a lot of time I actually figured out that my parents are duals:o My dad is LSI and mom is EIE. So we're basically a beta household. I have to say it's always been very passionate and reactive with lots of yelling and crying, but we love the shit out of each other <3
who has been yelling and crying , LSI ?Quote:
Originally Posted by darya
My mom (EIE) is a manipulative drama queen. Sometimes I feel like i'm on Broadway with her. So there's a lot of yelling, crying, solitary cool-down walks in the middle of the night with her. My dad can be pretty intimidating when he's pissed (6w5 cp), but he doesn't make emo scenes. I'm the "what the fuck just happened" child in the middle, who makes them both cry in a second when they "really" push my buttons :)Quote:
Originally Posted by AshSun
I think my dad was either my mom's supervisor (LSE-SEI), or kindred (SLI-SEI). Although I'm having doubts about the former since it often looked like she was supervising him. He's kind of hard to type.
I think it also depends on background ....but this is my picture of female EIE according to some stuff I've read on this forum. I don't know any EIE women irl.Quote:
Originally Posted by darya
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rcv9Soz-eH4
hahaha @AshSun, it IS something like that :lol: i get along with her fabulously and she adores me, but all that theatrical Fe is driving me crazy sometimes. But I still much, much prefer the drama to "let's pretend everything is a-ok, although we hate each other guts" type of families. Different strokes for different folks I guess.
Wow there are more dual couples than I expected. My parents are super egos.
and @redbaron, I have not seen an identical marriage either, how interesting. It must feel a bit like marrying your brother/sister.
Seen a lot of illisionaries though.
This is not limited to beta households, lol.Quote:
Originally Posted by darya
What types are they?Quote:
Originally Posted by AshSun
LIE-ESI. Got together after 30 and after they'd had their experiences and failures, which I think also accounts for how their marriage worked out.Quote:
Originally Posted by ConcreteButterfly