Printable View
Yep. There's also the shared ego function. I find that's a huge element of what keeps a supervision relationship going. I've bonded with SLEs by talking about philosophy and logic and whatnot, IEEs by sharing interesting life experiences and knowledge.Quote:
Originally Posted by The Egbert Human
edit: the initial version of this post was too whiny and i think i can get SLEs to like me after all! the only negative aspect is that i have to be alert in order to keep a steady and positive wavelength but they can be pretty cool individuals ;>
yeah. my IEI daughter gets MAD if someone suggests that we play a game without keeping score. she won't even bother to play! haQuote:
Originally Posted by glamourama
How all supervision relationships go:
Supervisee: You're being sociopathic. =(
Supervisor: No. You're just being too sensitive.
Supervisee: TOO SOCIOPATH.
Supervisor: TOO SENSITIVE.
Supervisee: SOCIOPATH!!!
Supervisor: SENSITIVE.
Supervisee: Fuck you. I'm going back to my dual.
Supervisor: Okay. Me too then.
<3
lol this is a lot better than most of the supervision relation descriptions out there. I smell a series...
My boyfriend of several years just turned up and dumped me. Totally out the blue and i'm very upset.
He is my supervisor so i'm looking for your help to cheer me up.
Please tell me all the reasons why you shoudn't be with your supervisor and why it is for the best!
:cry:
I believe my last relationship was with my supervisor, as well.
Relationships of supervision, imo, can be extremely fun, and intimate. Definitely a connection of possible soulmates. However, when it came to actually getting things done, or things being explained, it was confusing as $@!#. I had to try really hard to understand her, and her advice tended to confuse me and hurt.
IMO, your soulmate shouldn't confuse you, or show up one day and dump you. That's pretty much how mine ended also, seems to come out of nowhere, from supervisors.
Thought I couldn't ever love again, but you can. Just gotta get through the hurt, but believe me, there is light at the end of the tunnel. :love:
Just like my supervisor above said, look for things like tunnels, light, the end of the road, cliffs, etc.
so he's an LIE?
did he give you a reason?
lolQuote:
Originally Posted by Parkster
Thanks for your understanding - I can't even begin to imagine going on a date with someone else. Hopefully I will feel better in the morning.Quote:
Originally Posted by Mountain Dew
Yes a LIE. He gave reasons which I don't necessarily disagree with. Unfortunaltey that doesn't make me feel better at this point. I would have tried to work on our issues before calling it a day. I'm still in shock it only happened a few hours ago. I'm trying to get my head around our potential future together vanishing into thin air.Quote:
Originally Posted by blackburry
at first when i read this i thought 'whoa, cause he's your boss duh.' but then i realized what's going on here.
sorry for not contributing
Me too. Work affairs are so awesome.Quote:
Originally Posted by heath
disagree entirely. but a+ for being quasi-unsullied by this place.
Quote:
Originally Posted by IEI
you're better off without that!:hug:Quote:
Originally Posted by IEI
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-eE8wG1MP1r...eat-Driver.jpg
Yeah, I completely understand how that goes. It definitely does take time. Idk, if you feel you really need closure, ask him again. Guys sometimes just need to cool off, and if you're both still young, even more so. Don't rebound, it ends badly...but yeah, I would get closure and...idk, start to get angry. I tend to feel indifferent towards someone after not hearing from them after I reach out for a few weeks.Quote:
Originally Posted by IEI
I've been married to my supervisee for years. Intertype relations don't always mean certain death right away. There are a host of other factors that can keep couples together.Quote:
Originally Posted by Shayley
p.s. and by "years" I mean, like, 17.
Supervision is a hard relationship to maintain, nobody really gets satisfied.
It's decent for mentoring and that's about it.
I'd be GLAD to. I've never had a romantic relationship with a socionic supervisor, but I did have a really awful experience with one at work. We started out pretty well... from the outset I thought she was a little weird and wasn't sure if i could trust her, especially from some vibes I got from my boss in regards to her (the way he related to her). I see my boss as a very benevolent, kind, fair, sometimes overly trusting person, so his unease with her raised some red flags to me that he might have had some bad experiences with her. She was also OVER the top sweet with me, which i thought was sorta suspicious. That was my first impression. Nevertheless, our desks being right next to each other, we got to having a lot of conversations about family, life, and we found that we had a lot in common. So after a while, even though in the back of my mind i still didn't completely trust her, I came to saw her as a nice, albeit a little quirky, person and even thought of her as a friend.
Well, after about a year of being friends, she volunteered herself to work closely on a project with me. Which i didn't mind because she's a lot more experienced than me and I'd be glad to learn a thing or two from her, and I saw her as a friend, and she seemed so excited to work with me. So almost immediately we started having major miscommunications, in that things she would say I found to be incomplete information, and when I would ask clarifying questions, she would give me an answer to a completely different question. I of course would get frustrated with this and start having an irritated tone of voice, which put her on edge. But then after the issue was resolved i would go back to being my normal self and things would seem to be just fine.
Not to make this too long of a story, after about a month or 2 of working together like this, apparently she started spreading false vicious rumors about me behind my back, all the while being sweet as suga to my face. It only came to my attention when the rumors reached a friend of mine at work, who was like "hey, WA I need to talk to you." and told me all about what's been going around about me. I felt so betrayed, but i knew i should have seen it coming, especially after a few people here typed her LII (my supervisor) a while back. At the time i was like "really??? supervision doesn't seem so bad then... we get along fine!" Little did i know what lay ahead...
I did have a face to face talk with the LII after the rumors came to my attention. All this ugly stuff about me that had been on her mind for many months came pouring out, to my shock and surprise! Of course i debunked them all, and i told her that if she has a problem with me she should say it to my face, so that i have a chance to fix whatever it is that is bothering her, and because i dont like to function with these fake facades. Actually she did a similar thing to my friend (who i also think is Delta, might be a dual actually), stabbed her in the back to my boss, but eventually our boss figured out it was all unfair and unreasonable accusations. So my friend was there with me when i confronted the LII, and we sort of cornered her (figuratively speaking) with her evildoings and actually made the LII cry. Though I think she cried just because there was nothing else she could say to save face or make what she did seem right. I think it was fake tears.
Anyway, knowing socionics, I stopped at that point, and just had us all do a group hug and ever since have kept a large psychological distance. Never again working with her, keeping work related conversations to a minimum, and only speaking about very superficial topics. Limiting interaction as well. We are back to being "friends", at least she thinks so.
Such is socionic supervision. It might not play out for a while, but if you get close enough, it happens just as predicted. Same with any intertype i guess...
STRONGLY DISAGREE!!!Quote:
Originally Posted by hkkmr
Thanks for the messages of support. It is tough, I haven't been in touch with him since we split and I'm on day 2 of recovery.
I'm trying to look at the positives. It is the first time in my life that all my friends are single. Last time I broke up with someone I had to go out and make a new circle of friends which was very hard given my intoverted status. At least it's quite easy to get out and about on some nights out and have some fun.
We did have problems and it may be for the best but i really do feel like I have been hit by a train.
I have mixed emotions sometimes I'm really upset and other times I get very angry as I would have handled the situation differently.
Nevertheless it doesn't really matter. It is what it is there is nothing to be done except accept the situation and move on.
Todays challenge is phoning my parents to let them know..... I'm dreading it especially telling my mum as she has been harping on about bloody grandchildren grrrrrrrrrrrrr :(
Think i'm coming down with a cold too...sniff... hangs head...scrunches tissue and thows it on the floor.
Goddam it i need to pick myself up!
Thats it im going out.
Person a, namely Socionics geek: might dump someone just because he/she is his/her conflictor.Quote:
Originally Posted by IEI
Person b, unaware of Socionics theory: may dump you regardless of whether you are duals or any other intertype relation.
If a man dumps a woman, it is probably because he has found someone younger and/or hotter.
If a woman dumps a man, it is probably because she has found someone richer.
Differences in IQ, religion, values, education, planet of origin, etc matter too.
Aw man, I hate having to notify people when a longterm relationship ends. how long were you two together if you don't mind me asking?Quote:
Originally Posted by IEI
I was pretty upset for half a year after my SLI ex broke up with me, and now I can't even remember what was so great about him that caused me to be so depressed over it.
:stroke:Quote:
Originally Posted by 1981slater
Thanks for that little insight. Seriously you don't want to f*** with me just now.
5 years. *Read next sentence in a sarcastic tone* On the plus side when he told me he said i should be grateful he didnt do it over the phone. lol.Quote:
Originally Posted by blackburry
Anyway my little venture out gave me one highlight today, the guy at the DVD store who i have always thought was quite hot was working. He cheered me up for 5 mins :)
It's not fucking around: it is called fi polr -->say what you think. We SLEs and ILEs share this trait.Quote:
Originally Posted by IEI
What a jackass. You'll find better.Quote:
Originally Posted by IEI
Don't hide behind your polar :DQuote:
Originally Posted by 1981slater
At least an SLE flirts with you while he stomps all over your feelings.
Actually SLE's seem quite sensitive to IEI's feelings in my experience. It's everyone elses they don't seem to understand.
Yes maybe at the bottom of this bottle of wine :)Quote:
Originally Posted by blackburry
You shouldn't be with your supervisor. Reason 1.Quote:
Help Please Tell me all the reasons I shouln't be with my supervisor
Reason 2. You shouldn't be with your supervisor.
You shouldn't be with your supervisor. Reason 3.
What is a polar?Quote:
Originally Posted by IEI
I can recall a Friends episode in which Chandler and Ross "flirt" with the pizza delivery girl: Ross is so creepy!Quote:
At least an SLE flirts with you while he stomps all over your feelings.
I am so bad at understanding IEIs that I think I know none in person, which is probably wrong-->I cannot tell apart IRL IEIs from SEIs or ILIs or robots with human appearance.Quote:
Actually SLE's seem quite sensitive to IEI's feelings in my experience. It's everyone elses they don't seem to understand.
It is an anagram of an abbrieviation for "A Point Of Least Resistance" :shifty: :)Quote:
Originally Posted by 1981slater
Where abouts in Spain do you live? I lived in Majorca for 2 years when i was a kid.
lol yeah! :)Quote:
Originally Posted by Starfall
Quote:
Originally Posted by octopuslove
Yep - dont' know what was going on with my Ni - not much catches me out these days i really didn't see it coming last week.
Kim wrote the following in a closed thread:
[note to Kim: I do not argue with your LSI typing in that thread].Quote:
Originally Posted by Kim
This got me thinking about how different types supervise. Yes, I can see how a LII throwing Ti would seem like a Supervisor's attack for an IEE. I compensate for Ti with many other things; Ti is not a place I dwell at too long when coming to my own conclusions. Though I do enjoy listening to Ti explain things, I get defensive when someone tries to make me start using Ti, or trying to convince me this is the way to think. (I like to use it when I want to use it, and I tend to pick some other way of thinking as much as possible.).
But I am curious, how does a LSI act when they are Supervisor??
As an IEE, I am also curious about how Kim or anyone else things IEE acts as Supervisor?
My own experience as an IEE Supervisor is this. My mother is my Supervisee and it was always a difficult relationship best served by distance. Now we are required to be quite close. At least its a more natural position to be her caregiver and "supervisor" than when she was in charge of me. As Supervisor, my primary gut-reaction is scorn, and then I get into an interior knot with shame about my uncharitable thoughts and unkind impulses, and so I have learned to make it a point, around my Supervisee, to practice self-control. As O.B.Slinko points out in an article on this forum, I discovered some time ago that knowingly disabling my main function around my mother helps us keep peaceful and me charitable. Before I knew Socionics, this took the form of me making a decision to be "another type of person", not myself, around her, in order to keep peace and to be kind to her.
I am curious about anyone else's experiences about how other types have been as supervisors.
Watch out, you've got friends incoming...Quote:
Originally Posted by Eliza Thomason
18:35 anndelise I've been trying to avoid, but checked in again, and am laughing....jim is gonna close his thread?? Lololol
18:44 k0rps is he?
18:44 k0rps your pal eliza is picking scabs again
Regarding the topic; you'll note that regardless of types, there can be positive supervision relationships but only under strict conditions. In personal relationships the supervisee becomes acutely uncomfortable with the oversight of the supervisee and will tend to jump for the strike out at the supervisor unreasonably for relatively banal observations. The supervisor then knows exactly how to hit their supervisee where it hurts with relatively little effort.
Friends are good!Quote:
Originally Posted by InvisibleJim
Now, as a Supervisor, I am not trying to hurt my mother. But it seems if I am just myself, instead of practicing self-control, I do. I find myself telling myself in her presence: "Do not speak as you feel. Speak as you ought." How often do I speak cheerfully with measured patience when I feel the OPPOSITE around her? Its the only thing that keeps a peaceful home.Quote:
Originally Posted by InvisibleJim
So I guess you are saying that even if a Supervisor is not intending to hit the Supervisee where it hurts all the time, they do? Its just a Supervisor's innate compulsion maybe.
That's the principle of it yes. Since I doubt either myself or Annedelise are going to be particularly scarred by our encounter I find it unlikely we can be considered to be in supervision. I just think it's classic mirage behaviour. Sometimes ILI-IEE can discuss things frankly and openly, other times they aren't aligned and clash quite spectacularly.Quote:
Originally Posted by Eliza Thomason
Hmm, I am not seeing this analogy, since, as Anndelise knows, I don't think she is IEE (though she feels she is properly typed and plenty of others agree with her on that) and you think you are ILI and I, like my Supervisor k0rpsy, am not seeing "the IP vibe" in you [I know a couple of different INTPs well]. And anyway my NF tells me to trust my Supervisor's Ti on you being LSI... :DQuote:
Originally Posted by InvisibleJim
Also, I want to point out that the scarring from your Supervisor comes from a long-term close encounter, as in family or spousal relations, and you and Anndelise are nowhere near that. Actually the scorn I perceive from you towards her is consistent with how I have seen a Supervisor is when he/she has superficial relations with a Supervisee.