Originally Posted by
Diana
Ah okay.
On this:
I'm not intentionally harsh, but I often don't filter my words, or soften them. And it's because they lose too much meaning when you do. I also press for direct communication with me. For instance, it's come up a few times that someone says something that sounds kind of vague, so I'll ask another, more direct question. If they again evade answering the question by making it sort of hazy or a half-answer, I'll ask an even more direct question, until I get a straight answer to what I was asking about.
The softening of communication is hard for me, and makes me feel sort of slimey afterwards, even if I know in some cases it's needed. But, I even have a hard time with compliments sometimes, because when I give them, they sometimes come out sounding weird, or fake, even though they're sincere. For instance, I complimented strrrng's writing, and thought afterwards, "ugh, I hope he doesn't think I'm trying to ingratiate myself to him."
The type of person who can and does cozy up to people through flattery, or gets things through complimentary persuasion is the opposite of who I am. It feels, I don't know, fraudulent or something. But even the lesser degree of just purposely gentleifying speech too much can feel that way. I really don't think I come across as unduly harsh though. I mean, I'm obviously seeing from my own perspective, but I think I'm usually fairly kind to people.