Originally Posted by
Mimosa Pudica
Really? That's interesting. In what way do you feel it gives a better relation to be formal? I'll try and explain how I see it, and I'd love to hear your point of view, to understand better. Formality for me feels fake. If someone asks me "how do you do", the polite thing to do is to answer "I'm fine" or something short. If you start telling how you really feel, people will find you weird. At least you have to joke it away or be sarcastic about it, and whatever you do, your answer must be SHORT. Nobody wants your life story. So then, I end up feeling it's all fake and thus I dislike the whole situation, and want to escape it and the other person as soon as possible. In other words, I see it as making relations worse, not as improving them. There are certain exceptions to this, culturally based ones, like kissing cheeks in Italy. That's more or less the same as saying "hi" in my country. I do that, and it's of course ok. But I'm talking about the formal chit chat like "how are you?" and "where are you going?" or "what are you up to?". You instantly notice if people are interested or if they are just formal. And if it's only formalities, then again, it feels fake, and I want to escape.... etc. etc. Hmm... I like when people are real, though, and greeting people in a personal way is, imo, a much better way to go about it. Like unefille says - different situations call for different greetings.