Who's your enneagram dual?

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Originally Posted by Clumsy

Any thoughts on this as well:

http://www.similarminds.com/idealtypes.html

Thanks for the responses. :) :thumbsup:

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I suspect that the idea behind those match-ups lies in the realm of numerology - the ones that they have matched together add up to number 10 - so there is probably some sort of metaphysical explanation for why a sum of 10 suddenly makes relationships so much better, but in real life I haven't seen enneagram types having significant influence over people's interests in each other and whom they choose to date. If there are any patterns to enneagram dating, they seem to be greatly diluted by other factors.

I'm a 1-6-2 and I've never dated. But I once loved a likely 4-6-9 and I like 6s.

I'm 6w7 and sp/sx. I was in a relationship with 5 INTj, 9 ISFp and ESTp 8 sx/soc. My boyfriend is 8w9 ESTj sp/soc and that's the best relatioship I've had so far. His second variant is getting on my nerves sometimes but still it's a very good match for me. In general I'm mostly attracted to 8s.

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Originally Posted by FDG

I've mostly dated 6s and 9s. I fare much better with 9s.

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Im guessing 9w8 would be more preferable.

9w1 sp/sx. I usually have the best chemistry with 5w6 or 6w5's.

I've also dated a 2w3 and 4w5, and I found that both had very annoying tendencies.

I make the best match with LSE 8w7 :love: or 1w2 :love:

I've never met an LSE 3.
I've never met an LSE 1w9 in person.
I love LSE 6w5 or 6w7 like they are my children.
I've never met any other LSE except 8w7 or 1w2 who are attracted to me like honey YUM.



I HATE LSE 7. They are like blank objects that don't feel the emptiness or the pain of others if they do they are sure good about excusing it. I hate other things about LSE 7 like how they are not as affectionate as LSE 8 and I think to some extent I also find them annoying. I think the least person that can actually connect with a dual is a 7. They are particularly more manipulative due to their extraversion factor.

Or, I should say I make the best match with an LSE who is the most self reflective...that would be E1 wouldn't it?

By self reflective I mean someone like my cousin who consideres that they could have hurt me in doing or saying something and then jump or respond to make sure that there were no hard feelings created in the process. Or maybe she's just a healthy and secure LSE like Bryan. Bryan's pretty healthy and well adjusted as far as LSE go.

Oksana is LSE 1w2
Bryan is LSE 8w7

OMG I'm in LSE heaven :D

I know an LSE 8w7.

Can I be LSE 7? :(

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Originally Posted by Agarina

Can I be LSE 7? :(

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sure

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Originally Posted by Maritsa

so I can hate you? or why would you want to be a 7? YUCK - 7 is yucky. disgusting; stay away from it. lol

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:cry:

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Originally Posted by Kim

:cry:

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aw I didn't mean it
:(

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Originally Posted by Maritsa

I HATE LSE 7.

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Try SLE. And start hating E3 as well.

i don't think i have an enneagram "match"
4, 5, and 8 pop out as being the most attractive initially but i can easily see drawbacks with any of them.
maybe 6. or i'm curious how it would work out with a 7 cuz ive never dated one. positive outlook + assertive sounds nice.

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Originally Posted by lungs

i don't think i have an enneagram "match"
4, 5, and 8 pop out as being the most attractive initially but i can easily see drawbacks with any of them.
maybe 6. or i'm curious how it would work out with a 7 cuz ive never dated one. positive outlook + assertive sounds nice.

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I've noticed that lot of 6s are a bit too clingy to work well with a 7 (at least a 7 who is an ethical type - the logical types who are 7s might find it more tolerable and some might even like it)

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Originally Posted by squark

I've noticed that lot of 6s are a bit too clingy to work well with a 7 (at least a 7 who is an ethical type - the logical types who are 7s might find it more tolerable and some might even like it)

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They're going to do fine. Cerebral palsy is sought by E6 in E7.

5s, 6s, and 9s I guess in that order match best with me. 8s might be cool, although I don't think I've yet been personally acquainted with a Delta E8. If they're anything like the pictures I've seen then we'll probably have something going on.

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Originally Posted by Maritsa

aw I didn't mean it
:(

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Nah, you are just jealous. :p

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Originally Posted by lungs

positive outlook + assertive sounds nice.

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Typically 6s don't like how 7s try to ignore their attempts at arguing. At least the (3) 6s I have known...(as much as ennagramm makes sense ofc).

I always get 7w6ses and 4w3ses.

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Originally Posted by Jadae16t

What do you mean? As in, who you end up paired with?

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Yus.

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Originally Posted by Jadae16t

Like, what were the reactions?

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Pretty normal/satisfactory. :]

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Originally Posted by Jadae16t

Boring! :P

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Well, I'm surprisingly human/normal when I'm not philosoflying or timewasting on socionics/enneagram/forum drama.

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Originally Posted by Jadae16t

I was once, too /dies Then I came back to this poophole in the autumn of 2011, and its been downhill on this topic ever since. Well, as normal as someone as eccentric as me can get.

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Perhaps socionics isn't so great after all...

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Originally Posted by Jadae16t

Can I take you off of ignore now?

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You can do anything you like Jadae, but I'm inclined to keep you at the appropriate distance.

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Originally Posted by FDG

Typically 6s don't like how 7s try to ignore their attempts at arguing. At least the (3) 6s I have known...(as much as ennagramm makes sense ofc).

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the only other type that seems to consistently engage ime is other 6s. and thats not always good either.

it can be nice to deal with someone who doesn't bend every time you blow on them but feeling like i'm being ignored when its something that matters to me can make me kinda rabid so it's a mixed bag. i can see that being a point against positive outlook triad though.

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Originally Posted by InvisibleJim

Well, I'm surprisingly human/normal when I'm not philosoflying or timewasting on socionics/enneagram/forum drama.

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Quoted for truth, Jim seems like a pretty normal albiet fun dude. At least from my interactions with him.

Meeting the exact dual with the right subtypes and the right instinctual variants is already impossible. Now I have to define my enneagram dual :cry: Oh Lord.

I'm 9 so... 1? 6? 8? But does enneagram even have any dual-like system?

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Originally Posted by nigh

Meeting the exact dual with the right subtypes and the right instinctual variants is already impossible. Now I have to define my enneagram dual :cry: Oh Lord.

I'm 9 so... 1? 6? 8? But does enneagram even have any dual-like system?

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:love: nigh :) IN ALL HONESTY, E TYPE IS BS. Socionics is the only intertype relationship that's valid in my opinion. Just find a healthy dual one who's not nuts. And, I've developed an uncanny crazy person radar. I'll test them for you ;) And, my bf is an extremely good judge of character apparently.

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Originally Posted by Maritsa

:love: nigh :) IN ALL HONESTY, E TYPE IS BS. Socionics is the only intertype relationship that's valid in my opinion. Just find a healthy dual one who's not nuts. And, I've developed an uncanny crazy person radar. I'll test them for you ;) And, my bf is an extremely good judge of character apparently.

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Crazdar? :p Craydar?

Good for you and your bf! Good character judgers are not so easy to find.

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Originally Posted by nigh

Crazdar? :p Craydar?

Good for you and your bf! Good character judgers are not so easy to find.

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I was also gonna ask are you male of female?

keep it simple Nigh. It's always the simplicity that counts in the long run. The simple matter is that you have a something you can't do naturally. You can learn about ways around it but it's still HARD.

Me: I'll make myself an example. I need Te. Hey smuck resume control of a process and see what needs to be done first and most importantly and tell me to do it and let's get the job done. In the immediate moment of course. lol

Dual: I'm having a hard time understanding why he would do that. Help me pls. Talk talk talk about future plans "I'm thinking about moving to TN my bf lives there I..." listen listen give support. This would be good in these ways (give further insight to the plan with one's Ne).

This way all psychological aspects are covered, all stress is reduced and life resumes in it's most pleasant environment.

PICK A HEALTHY DUAL.

I should clarify what I mean a healthy dual is. There's one thing about knowing your sociotype and another either having masked it by years of alter ego activity or by essentially just being in an environment where you've had to assume your non ego functions. So because my dual cousin and I have always needed each other for what we offer we've always done our ego function tasks with regard to each other. I've always given moral support BUT SHE'S ALSO ALWAYS GIVEN TE. So it's not like she's freeloaded and taken all my FiNe without returning Te. by unhealthy dual I mean someone who will Take your Fi and not return the Te because they can't recognize what they are doing and need to do for you. An exchange is lost due to their less then healthy realization of themselves and their role in a RELATIONSHIP. A relationship is an exchange not a selfish means. In a normal and healthy dual relationship there's no room for new methods of thinking beyond one's supposed and assumed roles. Sociotype roles that is ;)

Be yourself, your type, study what healthy people of your type behave, say and do and have lots of dual friends and you'll see what they are looking for in you and once you offer up you ego self you will see duals will flock to you. :) It takes time, but I promise.

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Originally Posted by nigh

Meeting the exact dual with the right subtypes and the right instinctual variants is already impossible. Now I have to define my enneagram dual :cry: Oh Lord.

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Duality is for chumps, shared instinct stacking is the way to go.

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Originally Posted by nigh

But does enneagram even have any dual-like system?

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It doesn't, at least not officially. Some people have tried to make systematized intertype relation charts, but they've all been total crap. It just comes down to personal preference really.

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Originally Posted by Maritsa

I was also gonna ask are you male of female?

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Male

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Originally Posted by Jadae16t

No, it is not dichotomous. Duality is an idea based on with/without, whereas Enneagram is a vastly more complex idea.

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Good point. Thanks.

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Originally Posted by Maritsa

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That makes sense. Even from my experience, Te-base people around me always have made my life quite easier. I think most people just slip into their most natural role quite naturally. In a group, while a Te-base would so naturally lead everything practical, I've always been the one who often gives advises to him/her about how he/she needs to handle people in a group in order not to look like a complete asshole lol cos in many cases, he/she seemed to have no clue about that matter. Just like I've got no clue about how to execute practical matters in the best possible way.

Having read your posts, what hits me is: I need to be a healthier person/dual. ;) Better become a better person myself first.

Thanks Maritsa.

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Originally Posted by nigh

Crazdar? :p Craydar?

Good for you and your bf! Good character judgers are not so easy to find.

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Let me give you an example and you tell me from your logic, you have one trust me ;) what you think a Te should do.

This is the hypothetical situation.

Two people EII and LSE are in the kitchen in the morning and plans for supper haven't been discussed. The EII is hungry and the LSE sees this internal quality of the person. Assuming this is a healthy dual relationship, who should take the lead in giving ideas about what to have, who should take those ideas, who should mobilize for action, what should they do? Are they one? or are they not one...who is thinking and feeling for who?

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Originally Posted by Galen

Duality is for chumps, shared instinct stacking is the way to go.

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By shared, you mean one in common? Like sx/so and sp/so for example.

The first instinct being shared seems be the best to me.

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Originally Posted by Galen

It doesn't, at least not officially. Some people have tried to make systematized intertype relation charts, but they've all been total crap. It just comes down to personal preference really.

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Agreed.

nom...so I know it's completely unreasonable to assume anyone will monitor all your activity at every turn and I can certainly make my own sandwich and eat it too, but it's selfish to make your own while your guests from Armenia who've never been in the US to visit you come over right? lol
And, furthermore it's not about such tiny day to day affairs it's about common consideration for someone else. I think in a healthy dual relations you see that. You sense that the person really loves you and cares for you. Even a healthy caring dual who isn't in a dual relationship acts that way naturally. Take my LSE friend, Justin, for example. When he, my SEE friend, and I were at the bar my SEE friend talked about how she had only soda that day and Justin handed her a manu and said "you might want to have something to eat." In his LSE caregiver way. That is a healthy LSE response in that situation not him sitting back and minding HIS own business *cough - SELFISH*.

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Originally Posted by nigh

By shared, you mean one in common? Like sx/so and sp/so for example.

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In my experience, identical instinct stackings have the best odds of getting along in the long run: Sp/Sx with Sp/Sx, So/Sp with So/Sp, etc. Sx/So and Sp/So is like instinct conflictors as far as I'm concerned, the priorities are totally flip-flopped.

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Originally Posted by Galen

In my experience, identical instinct stackings have the best odds of getting along in the long run: Sp/Sx with Sp/Sx, So/Sp with So/Sp, etc. Sx/So and Sp/So is like instinct conflictors as far as I'm concerned, the priorities are totally flip-flopped.

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which one am I?

Please only Galen respond to this unless I ask otherwise.