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Finally managed to register, I think the activation e-mail went to my junk mail.
Anyway, among all of the usual impracticle things that a think about, I was thinking that if there is a soulmate then wouldn't there be an anti-soulmate? hmmmm.... Maybe this is the underlying theme in the Terminator movie... muahaha, sneaky film makers.
that would be your conflicting partner, i assume....for an infj that would be estp
I do not believe in soulmates. But yes, if there was a soulmate there would be an anti-soulmate.
Actually I think it would be your supervisee... You get tricked into believing they are your soulmate..
I think that it depends on the specific criteria for calling someone a "soulmate." I also don't really believe that the vague idea of a soulmate exists, but there is something about it that I like giving thought to.
Maybe it's the idea that there is someone that is 'meant' for you to be with. Being able to fully relax, knowing that you have taken the right train.
Now I have to land back on earth in order to settle some stuff I need to do there :8*
I don't think I've met my supervisee...
both on the top were mine
the idea that there is one specific person meant for everyone is, IMO, childish
So an anti-soulmate = someone who makes you feel tense, who challenges you constantly and criticizes just about everything you are and do. Correct?Quote:
Originally Posted by Anonymous
Like someone you feel you have to destroy... exactly as ILENTp put it, heheQuote:
So an anti-soulmate = someone who makes you feel tense, who challenges you constantly and criticizes just about everything you are and do. Correct?
no
if one was bigger, they would not be particle and anti particle
it's like Agent Smith in the Matrix... the explanation of his existance in the third one
*mental note: rent The Matrix trilogy*
*sighs*
this topic is fun
I still don't believe in soulmates though
when someone says they are looking for their soulmate it makes me want to be like "oh, I met him the other day. Nice guy, I prolly shouldn't have killed him"
exactly! if you can't be happy on your own, you cannot be happy in any relationship. and if you're looking for a "perfect" relationship... :lol: don't get me started.
that's why I mentioned that it could exist if there is a specified criteria. It doesn't make any sense to just say "someone who will perfect me." Actually, in order for a so-called soulmate to exist would mean that there is a logical meaning to life... I guess finding that out would come firstQuote:
I used to believe in the whole soulmate thing -- but I think that in a way that misses the whole point of a relationship. If you're busy looking for your perfect match the one "who completes you" (blah) all that, you're not spending any time being happy with yourself, making yourself someone that's great to be with. It's sort of a needy cop-out to expect someone to be your soulmate and fill in all of your weak points, isn't it?
Agree. Believing in soulmates is a recipe for disaster. You'll end up dissatisfied with your friends and partners, always believing that perfect happiness is out there somewhere, if only you could find it. It's much healthier to realize that we're all of us pretty fucked up.Quote:
Originally Posted by Diana
It's a nice word, though, "soulmate". If you take it literally, it could mean a person who really likes you for what you're like when you're just being yourself. No special effort necessary. No huge important parts of your worldview or behaviour they dislike or can't live with.
A soulmate is not someone you expect to fill in your weak points. And a soulmate doesn't equal a perfect match. And you can't look for a soulmate because all other things you have been conditioned to want or need will get in your way. It just happens or it doesn't. I for my part believe that some people find their soulmates.Quote:
Originally Posted by Diana
no
I killed them all
oh no! now those people will never find love again because their soulmate is gone!
shit... how crappy for them that they had a soulmate.
Joy, once you're rich and famous, what about financing a movie about that? Like a cynical version of "ghostbusters". :)
Very rude but very funny. ENTps have their moments :lol:Quote:
Originally Posted by Joy
But could someone define what exactly is a soulmate?
So if I have someone to fill in my weak points and someone who is my perfect match then what do I need a soulmate for? :? What is the purpose of soulmate? What role is soulmate supposed to play in my life?Quote:
Originally Posted by Kim
Daydreaming fodder.
sure. I'll produce it, and you can direct it.Quote:
Originally Posted by schrödinger's cat
When someone says soulmate I believe they mean the ONE perfect person for them. I do believe that there are people who are extremely compatible, and that it's extremely rare, but cmon... ONE person you're destined to be with? :? When people talk about that I want to sell them a map to the gold at the end of the rainbow.
It's not about role or perfect partner of filling in the blanks. It's not about searching for your soulmate. YOU CAN'T because you are too caught up in your frame of reference. You just feel it. And I'm not saying that you can't have love and fulfillment without your soulmate. But I do believe that some people find their soulmates. And many other people are happy with people who might not be their soulmates, but make them content and love them. Why are people so aggressive when it comes to that? I have never searched for my soulmate, but I believe that two peoples' souls can truly touch.Quote:
Originally Posted by XoX
Well, maybe it's just me. :D
Before you two get into a quarrel, I think that this
and thisQuote:
Originally Posted by Joy
are roughly the same thing. (Now shoot me.) And thisQuote:
Originally Posted by Kim
and thisQuote:
Originally Posted by Joy
could also mean the same thing. Perhaps "soulmate" is, for Kim, a word for "the kind of person who's just right for you". Once Kim has stated whether she thinks that there's only ONE soulmate for each of us, and that each of us HAS such a soulmate, then you've got my permission to beat each other to a pulp.Quote:
Originally Posted by Kim
No, I think Joy and I are talking about two different things. My point of view on this is purely subjective and irrational, of course. "Soulmate" is not a word for a "kind of person." It's about "soul." My soul truly connecting with another's soul and thus seeing the person outside of any frame of reference that defines "compatibility." It's not about being compatible or perfect in a sense of character traits or likes or dislikes. It's about connecting on a really deep level and loving. It's hard to explain. But Joy and I are talking about two different things.Quote:
Originally Posted by schrödinger's cat
I do think that we only have one soulmate, but I don't know if everyone has one. No clue. And you don't need your soulmate to be very happy. But your soulmate makes you happy and content and feel at peace with who you are.
Ahhh, cheesy Kim! :D
kim, define soul.
Kim is totally right!
Although you don't need your soulmate to be happy, I don't think I would eve be happy again if I lost my soulmate... I won't even think about that :(
All you cynical people have obviously not found your soulmate :P
A soulmate is everything - the universe itself, the meaning of life. You become filled with a deep profound love not only for them but for all mankind and the universe.
A soulmate = the ultimate dual, whether or not they are actually your dual.
Lol, I could go on and on but I won't...
I'm not dissing the concept of soulmate or being aggressive. I'm just trying to understand if something is really missing from my life or is this just endless NF dream chasing.Quote:
Originally Posted by Kim
Oh wow, I think God is my soulmate. And that was a very nice way to express it.Quote:
Originally Posted by ishysquishy
I believe that the soul is the non-physical part of a human. It is the sum of their conscious and unconscious mind, the thing that makes them who they are. I believe that this thing we call a soul exists in a non-physical realm. Everyone is different, but there are some people who are enough alike to be able to truly understand another person and communicate through non-physical/verbal means. They "get" eachother. This type of connection is what ideal relationships are based on, and it is very rare. That is why when you meet someone who you connect with on this level, things like age and other situational factors are nearly irrelevant.
I do not, however, believe that there is only one person in the world who you can connect with like that, or that having a connection as such with a person means that you should necessarily be together/stay together. There are other factors that make or break relationships, and I see no reason why you cannot be just friends with a person who you connect with. Also, if you are with someone like that and it doesn't work out or someone dies, I do not believe that you will never experience that connectedness with another person.
Ideas as absolute as "the one true love of my life" and whatnot irritate me.
If there is such a thing as a soulmate, then I think it could be someone you just want to be friends with. It doesn't have to be a partner. A soulmate can just be that, a mate. Or perhaps a relative.
Plus, perhaps you can have several? - Wouldn't that be wonderful?
EDITED: I'd like to believe that there are true soulmates, but I can't. It would be so wonderful. But even the best of relationships are prone to misunderstandings and take such hard work... And sometimes you think that someone really "gets" you and likes you a lot, but as soon as your life becomes troubled (some people can't handle that) or successful (other people can't handle that), hey presto, see how they run. Which is why the concept of "soulmates" can be so disillusioning. You end up thinking "well, then why can't I have one? Where's mine!?" It makes you dissatisfied with what you have. At the worst, it can make people think, as soon as a relationship becomes a wee bit difficult, "ah-ha! perhaps my partner isn't my soulmate after all."
BINGO! I dont even know what I can add to that. :wink: Perhaps, I'd like to believe that there are more than a couple of people out there that you could have as a soulmate. :DQuote:
Originally Posted by schrödinger's cat
I think there are many, but it's still extremely rare to find them... people who exist in the same realm as you.
Wow, I didn't think that there was going to be so much discussion when I posted the topic. What have I unleashed?...
Why can't a soul be something physical? The way I see it is if it produces some sort of effect, then it exists, then it is physical.Quote:
I believe that the soul is the non-physical part of a human. It is the sum of their conscious and unconscious mind, the thing that makes them who they are. I believe that this thing we call a soul exists in a non-physical realm
define soul
What I meant was that if a soul "exists," regardless of definition, then it should be physical.
ummm okay..... could you mail yours to me?
Maybe there are several soulmates... but I'm not looking for the rest of them, lol. I heard this theory that there are 7, but who knows?Quote:
Originally Posted by schrödinger's cat
Even with your soulmate, the relationship takes just as much work as usual, you just have this extra dimension in your relationship (which you don't miss if you've never experienced, btw, so if you never meet your soulmate it doesn't mean you'll never be happy).
too defined...
I think I understand the meaning of duality better now. Somewhere deep inside I have this little dreamer who wants to have these kind of dreams and really believe in them but everytime it tries to come out I kill it with facts and logic. If I'd spend time with an ENFp the little dreamer might become a visible part of my personality. I'm just not sure what I could give to the ENFp :8* I feel inferior.Quote:
Originally Posted by Kim
This really has nothing to do with the topic anymore :wink:
Haha. My little dreamer has a better life than yours I guess. It comes out upon the hillsides dreaming of his partner. He sees the stars and feels the grass and all the wind blowing by, and watching as the people pass he heaves an ageless sigh. Right now he currently misses an ENFp who was dear to him. Poor little dreamer. *hugs him* Someone explain to me the mystery of ENFp's when they are sad. I am a relatively confused ISTp *yawns* I'm going to sleep soon late nights aren't good for the mind.
Don't. No need. Anyone who is aware of the here and now has our fullest respect. ISTPs areQuote:
Originally Posted by XoX
-- unpretentious.
-- fiercely loyal.
-- down-to-earth, realistic, logical.
-- practically minded.
-- fair.
-- able to achieve an enviable highscore at any computer game they like.
And if my brother is anything to judge from, then ISTPs also have a very dry sense of humour (speciality: one-liners that make everybody crack up), are good cooks, and if you need them they're there to help for as long as it's necessary.
So what's there to feel inferior about? Cheer up!
Yup. That's real nice of you there.
Heh ENFp's want to give love, and kindness and happiness. And us? We take them all. Just joking. But seriously think about all the emotional flooding if we stop recieving them and expand our EF/IF into a big balloon...
Isn't ISTp's hidden agenda to love?
Yup.Quote:
Originally Posted by Joy
You spend an awful lot of time here in Delta, Joy...
The idea of a soulmate is disturbing to me. It sort of sounds like, "There is only one person that you can have a relationship with and be extremely happy!!!! So you better find them and not lose them or else you will be miserable forever!!!"
But maybe Im just interpreting it wrong...O_o
Also...the "perfect" person for you may have lived thousands of years ago, or may live thousands of years into the future, so...I don't have a point to that...ummmmm
Sorry
Quote:
Originally Posted by Diana
Kate and Leopold!
I don't believe in the concept of soulmates. We meet people we like or don't like, and those relationships can either be easy or difficult, and we decide the relationship is either worth the amount of work it would take or not.
Though I did know I at least could see myself marrying my husband within about 20 minutes of meeting him, and before meeting him I'd assumed I'd be single forever because my relationships always turned into such horror shows. But there are probably other guys out there I'd get along with as well, and there are probably other women he'd be happy with too.
*sighs*
now are we going to debate love at first sight???
Sorry! :lol:
I said *could*, not *would*. It wasn't really love at first sight as much as "I don't think this guy will annoy me too badly and I could tolerate him for that long" at first sight.
Aw c'mon Joy. Havent you ever met someone and said to yourself, 'yep thats my type alright' even w/o knowing everything about him? Its just a starter not a finisher.Quote:
Originally Posted by Joy
honestly... no. In fact, I'm never even instantly attracted to someone. I mean, I can tell if they're good looking, but I don't actually feel an attraction until I have been around them a little. Certain criteria must be met. :lol:Quote:
Originally Posted by Topaz
I wrote this in another thread a while back...
I forgot to put trustworthy on that list. O:Quote:
Originally Posted by Joy
Just because something is physical doesn't mean you can just send it in an envelope. You can't do that to radiation.Quote:
ummm okay..... could you mail yours to me?
Is it me or has the discussion gone off topic? :?
For some reason I find the love at first sight thing to be very superficial. When I look at someone I always think about all the stuff inside them that I have no clue about. Even when I'm getting to know someone I always find myself preparing for anything unexpected that I might find out about them.
I know I'm strange :wink:
I'm much reminded of the infamous g-spot debate... :lol: :wink:
I agree with this. I think there are some people that you can have a gut feeling about and maybe you might be right and maybe you might be wrong. You have to take time to get to know the person. Some people look great on paper but there's just no chemistry. Other times its the unexpected almost ordinary person that catches you by surpise. So its not always about looks or status or anything. It might have alot to do with humor though. :wink:Quote:
Originally Posted by Diana
However, there can be, as I have proven time and again, love-after-constant-voyeurism-for-six-months.
stalker! :oQuote:
Originally Posted by gilligan87
*shields POLR and runs for cover*
what have I done?! :shock: :?
:lol: anyways... Arcanum, I do not believe that a soul can be quantified. I believe it exists on a dimension which cannot be measured. The closest thing I could try to compare it to is energy, but it's beyond that... I dunno, nm.
i do not believe in soulmates, if by soulmate you mean:
1. one person who is your destined perfect match
2. this soulmate, at any time in your life, remains the same person
ok, the romantic side of me likes the idea of soulmates. but logically, there are serious problems with this premise. i mean, what if your soulmate walks in front of a bus and gets run over? does that mean you are doomed to settle for not perfect matches? also, people change and value different things at different stages of their lives and at different levels of maturity. it's equally important that a couple heads in the same general direction of compatibility as well as starting with good compatibility. so in terms of a soulmate, as you mature and experiences change you, does this mean that your soulmate somewhere in the world magically develops in ways that just happen to maintain his/her compatibility with you so that this person will remain your soulmate by the time you meet him?
it's just not realistic.
at any stage of your life, there would probably be several people to dozens who are excellent matches, depending on how mainstream you are in terms of what you need in a relationship. and these people will likely not be the same people as life goes on. many will develop in different directions and lose their compatibility to you, and other people may grow to be excellent matches. that's why even in 'soulmate' matches the couple still has to work at the relationship - joint direction is as important as starting at the same place.
I believe in overwhelming emotions at first sight. Very rarely but sometimes I meet a person that radiates an "aura" which makes me overwhelmed with all kinds of feelings/emotions. It is not always just their looks but something in their whole external physical projection (looks, behaviour, style of eye contact, movements, way they carry their clothes, facial expressions, ...) that makes me go totally weak and overwhelmed with "love-like" emotions. It is not lust (I get that more often) but it is not love either I think. Often I quickly find these people mentally irritating, can't connect with them at all and thus can't really fall in love with them. Actually I have never been able to really fall in love with them.Quote:
Originally Posted by Topaz
Lust is purely sexual. Love is an "all-rounded" feeling. This is a third dimension I can't explain. Maybe it is a purely physical form of love that is still different from pure sexual lust. Often I don't even lust for them just want to be close and feel that "aura" touching every inch of me. First it overwhelms me with emotions but in the long run it makes me feel peaceful and calm inside. Maybe there is a smell or some hormone they put forward that does it. Or my hidden agenda tricks me somehow.
A soulmate might be someone with whom I can feel a similar "mental aura" touching me really deep inside.
"The perfect match" might be someone who touches me in all these dimensions: is a soulmate, is sexually attractive, and has this aura I described. I have never even came close to that though. Maybe there is only one person in every generation who meets all this criteria. I'm too pragmatic to let this kind of dreaming to affect my life too much though.
When I find a person who has "enough" in each category then that's fine with me. I can call that love and get married. Which is pretty much what happened hah (addition: "enough" means "very much" and my wife is a good match in each category. Definately best I've met in my life. I really love her. I had to add this just in case... :wink: ISFjs can get bitchy about details :lol:)
I'm not sure if this makes any sense. I have never really analyzed it this much and I'm not good at describing my feelings :8*
yes it existsQuote:
Originally Posted by Kim
Let's hope you do! Sounds kinda nice :wink:Quote:
Originally Posted by NFp-
Yup its nice but isn't it kind of distracting? I experienced that same aura thing, NFP, but with a teacher. And yes she's a dual. It's horribly interesting.
Yeah, I guess you'd have to qualify what is your anti-spouse in the area of compatibility vs. the area of just how much pain and recovery time is involved when you split.Quote:
Originally Posted by NeonMonk