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i don't think i'm emotionally intelligent AT ALL. i think i have always sucked at it. but because of that and i knew i wanted to be a mom, i studied and studied and studied and studied and studied and studied anything and everything i could get my hands on about raising kids in a way where i didn't "need" to be emotionally intelligent, i could do things a certain way that helped me with my kids emotions since i didn't instinctually know how to do it.
neither am i. but women are supposed to be good at relationships/feelings. there's enormous social pressure for this. my theory is that logical women will respond somehow to this and at least bring their emotional/relationship skills into some kind of acceptability.
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i am like a robot when it comes to knowing what to say to my kids with their emotions, not an uncaring one mind you, but i know exactly the "right" words to spew out that an emotionally intelligent mom would naturally do. i had to learn them and if anything because of all of my research, i do them "better" and more often because when i am grounded, my own emotions don't get in the way of helping them with theirs.
this sounds like me. except instead of doing independent research, i went into an "emotional" field and learned it that way.
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i may also seem more emotional because of either having an ethical IP hubby or i've learned to let my Fe play more for some other reason.
i am definitely the more logical of us, even though i am emotionally sensitive. i think a person can be both.
he seems clearly ethical and looks extremely laid back at least in the pix you posted. definitely IP. the way you describe your marriage...seems like duality to me.
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with his mom passing, his brain has shut down, nothing going on in there. not much to begin with. :) but i didn't/don't care. he makes me laugh and that was/is the best thing ever. i am the one who is handling all of the legal details, etc. i am very good at it. i would have made a good lawyer if i could have stuck with it long enuf. but i wouldn't have, too many other things to learn about...
lawyer type=ILE. not always, but seems to point in that direction.
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being happy, playing and having fun do not equate Fe ego. i believe those are states of mind that anyone can "do." i do those things for myself, my own enjoyment, not for the emotional mood or atmosphere for others. hey, ya gotta do that yourself man! i'm not responsible for someone elses state of happiness, etc. i'm better at helping others, my kids mostly, let their own out without me influencing it. ask my sis, she'll tell ya, i'm one of the most NOT emotionally manipulative people you'll meet. i like a fun jovial atmosphere, but i'm surely not the one that knows how to get that going. when i do, i just look like some goof, which i'm slowly growing to accept that i'm kinda cool being a goof. it's ok, people will still like me.
classic Fe hidden agenda.
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anyway, it sounds like i'm making a case for entp for myself. my 8 yr old, who he and i are the same is the one on the left in my avatar. entp was the only thing i kept coming back to for him.....
rick typed me wayyyyy back and the only reason he wouldn't say entp was because i chose to have kids. entps are not interested in domestic things like having kids ya know? and because that is the place where my passion does come out.