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A futile attempt, natch. Well not quite. Explain the time-frame of things to ESFj like an INTj would. My dad does this for my mom all the time. You can't criticize her directly for it or simply say 'you can't do so many things.' Also, offer to make lists for them like an INTj would- but don't get too involved in the actual physical process unless she offers you first.
She makes her own lists. I just offer to actually DO some of the things for her. Take a load off her plate. Her husband tells her which things shouldn't even be ON the plate to begin with.
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ESFjs can complain a lot and go woe as me mode...like they don't see a way out of it sometimes, it's like, they don't stop and think and they make decisions hastily. For them it's no big deal to just go to the store for somebody- but for so many types, we could plan that like days ahead of time.
She actually is a planner. She wont appreciate someone asking her to go to the store last minute. She isn't caregivery like that. It's that she visualizes she can do a lot and excessively plans for it ALL. To the minute. She does this so that everything should theoretically fall into place. But she knows it wont and just resigns herself to live through the imperfections.