Thy Abode. O wandering Mind!
In the long course of history man has walked many a path, asking and wondering, searching and looking, and yes, crying and yelling, with divine patience as much as with frantic fervor, seeking wisdom and answers to the ultimate questions keeping him up at night, striking him in broad daylight - but woe thee worm of the earth - to what avail all thy toil? For when the wind has passed over it, it is no more, And its place acknowledges it no longer.
The deepest reasons, beyond all the reasons man can reason, guiding us on our jouyrney, from dawn to dusk, on days of sunshine and on days of rain, leading us on the path we so confidently step on, are at the end of the road, perhaps more often than we dare look in the dire face of our innermost beings, shrouded in mist and mystery, and however confident we may feel boldly unveiling the holy shroud of our conscious minds, the feeble explanations we come up with may well be little more than post hoc rationalizations to justify the compelling force of our wild animal instincts. Perhaps then true wisdom is not to be found in the words of the far-seeing prophet, who seeking to unravel the riddles of heaven and earth only stumbles and falls at the altar of the dark forces of his subconscious drives - but rather in the humble words of Tanzhe who is not ashamed to admit the limits of his knowledge in the face of the greatest mystery of them all. The riddle wrapped in a mystery inside an enigma - known to us as life.
In other words Tanzhe: I think that at this stage it might be better to let the issue of your type rest for some time. The answer will come eventually, it always will. The penultimate test, before the day of reckoning unravels all the mysteries of our earthly wandering, could be which type is you Benefactor. You fall that hard for one type and one type only. Just try to learn to type others so maybe one day you will not conflate ISTJs and INFPs like I did with ISFJs and INTPs.
When I find myself in times of trouble,
Mother Mary comes to me
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be
And in my hour of darkness
She is standing right in front of me
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be
Let it be, let it be, let it be, let it be
Whisper words of wisdom, let it be
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