I know we have had this talk before, but,
how can you tell which you value more? Or link to some old threads, etc.
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I know we have had this talk before, but,
how can you tell which you value more? Or link to some old threads, etc.
Answer me this -- suppose something very very sad happened to you and left you depressed. Explain in some detail how you try to deal with it, if you do something to feel better. What usually does make you feel less down, if anything?
Nothing makes me very very sad. If it did, all I would have to do is go back to my values and beliefs, which I have forged from the only thing(s) that seem capable of lasting.
Also, no matter what possibly happened, I understand it could always be worse or better. And on the same note, there is always something more to be doing, rather than just relishing in your depression. Generally speaking, whatever happens, I just have to look at what the next objective is, what we are doing tomorrow, etc. I do not like lingering in moments, especially if it is a negative one.
I do not really do anything. I certainly do not listen to music, because it eventually becomes artificial to me - I found it unfulfilling in the past, and even now I am wary of using music too much. I am unaccustomed to using friends or family as a means to "overcome hardships', but whether that is a matter of environment or psychological functioning, I cannot honestly say. However, there are a few people I feel comfortable discussing things with, and yes, it does feel better to talk to some people about some things.
Finally, I would remember my connection to other people or organizations. Responsibilities I have. Focusing on them and less on myself has helped in that way.
That is all for now. Perhaps more tomorrow morning.
PS: no drugs/ intoxication - that does not work for me. Feels like I am running away. Going outside and doing something does help- makes me feel a bit more alive and real.
more tomorrow
When it comes to displays of emotional affection and warmth, do you see these things as being definitive of one's relationship to another? Or are those things more of the result of whatever relationship is there? How likely do you think it is for someone to lack warmth or emotional expression in dealing with someone they have a positive relationship with? If someone is acting like (s)he's not happy, should cheering them up/putting them in a better mood be a high priority for someone who cares about them? Or do you think that it's more important to understand what they're going through (if you can) and give them time to feel bad if they need to? How likely is it that there isn't even anything actually wrong in the first place when someone isn't acting like they're in a good mood?
i'd like to answer this. when i'm really sad, i talk to my friends and get input. i listen to music and sing along to it. great soulful music sung by female singers with an alto/mezzo soprano voice ranges. i talk out loud to myself. i execute soul searches and get information that gives me a different perspective.Quote:
Originally Posted by Expat
same thing, i add dancingQuote:
Originally Posted by diamond8
1 - not really although at one point or another they have to be there, i supposeQuote:
When it comes to displays of emotional affection and warmth, do you see these things as being definitive of one's relationship to another? Or are those things more of the result of whatever relationship is there? How likely do you think it is for someone to lack warmth or emotional expression in dealing with someone they have a positive relationship with? If someone is acting like (s)he's not happy, should cheering them up/putting them in a better mood be a high priority for someone who cares about them? Or do you think that it's more important to understand what they're going through (if you can) and give them time to feel bad if they need to? How likely is it that there isn't even anything actually wrong in the first place when someone isn't acting like they're in a good mood?
2 - coincident: if there's a relaitonship there's also the display, if there's no relationship there's no display, but you can have feeling without display
3 - depends if they're working it's completely normal, if they're having sex it's really not that good
4 - you understand what they're going thru and try to solve their problem(s) if you can; if they have to feel bad it's okay but of course you won't stop me from trying to make you feel better
5 - it's rare to always be in a very good mood, i think?
i would dance. but it'd be too scary. lol i'd look like elaine.Quote:
Originally Posted by FDG
feeling better > looking goodQuote:
Originally Posted by diamond8
haha you are right i will dance in the privacy of my living room with the shades drawn...:-)Quote:
Originally Posted by FDG
(Even though the question is specifically for UDP, I would like to answer it as well.)Quote:
Originally Posted by Expat
I would share my problems with my ISFj mother, or anyone who can understand them. I like it when people can just listen and offer constructive opinions to help me solve my problems. I hate it when they question my mistakes and make unnecessary criticisms eg. "why did you do that in the first place?", "if you hadn't done this in the first place, you wouldn't end up in such a plight". On the other hand, one ISFp friend once said something that really bothered me when I attempted to share my thoughts with her: "Eunice, you are too concerned about how the other person thought of you. What's most important is we are all having a good time." :8* My experience told me that my ISFp, ENFp and ESTj friends were the worst people I can confide to. Why can't they tell me exactly how they feel?! I can't read their minds! I mean, I don't need them to always tell me to look at the bright side of life and sugarcoat their comments just because they think it will please me. I prefer them to be more direct and provide me with solid solutions to solve my problems.
like ESTps do? :P
Quote:
Originally Posted by UDP
The only other thing I can think of is what I told Joy in a pm: in retrospect from my college depression stage, having someone comfort me would not be appealing. This may be more an infantile|victim / caregiver|aggressor thing. It realized that I would feel better if I had someone who needed me to reassure them, or things to feel responsible about. Focusing on myself and needing someone to take care of me is only so appealing. I appreciate it, but I do not really think I am infantile. What helps is a sense of responsibility to other things, or other people.
That is not very well written, because I wrote more and it was deleted or the window closed or something.
UDP sounds like positivist Fe-valuing judging from that post alone.
Positivist: "Nothing makes me very very sad. If it did, all I would have to do is go back to my values and beliefs, which I have forged from the only thing(s) that seem capable of lasting."
Fe-valuing: " I am unaccustomed to using friends or family as a means to "overcome hardships', but whether that is a matter of environment or psychological functioning, I cannot honestly say. However, there are a few people I feel comfortable discussing things with, and yes, it does feel better to talk to some people about some things." (confiding in others is obviously not your first choice of action)
judging: "Generally speaking, whatever happens, I just have to look at what the next objective is..."
That said, I don't think you are ISTj. Maybe duality is just too comfortable for me to spot, but I have never got the giddy feeling from you being matter-of-fact forceful in the forum. And I would suspect that creative Se would show quite fast.
How is that Fe or Fi?Quote:
Fe-valuing: " I am unaccustomed to using friends or family as a means to "overcome hardships', but whether that is a matter of environment or psychological functioning, I cannot honestly say. However, there are a few people I feel comfortable discussing things with, and yes, it does feel better to talk to some people about some things." (confiding in others is obviously not your first choice of action)
Positivist?Quote:
Positivist: "Nothing makes me very very sad. If it did, all I would have to do is go back to my values and beliefs, which I have forged from the only thing(s) that seem capable of lasting."
If you are referring to that giddy feeling you mentioned when watching the "This is Sparta!" video clip, in regard to the king - you are right.Quote:
That said, I don't think you are ISTj. Maybe duality is just too comfortable for me to spot, but I have never got the giddy feeling from you being matter-of-fact forceful in the forum. And I would suspect that creative Se would show quite fast.
I keep my explosions under wraps as much as possible, but when I do let go, it is to the same effect. I do not see how that is indicative of being Fe or Fi though
i kinda felt like zillah gave me an istj feeling... I think creative Se is kinda spunky.
I'll answer this too. Going for a walk. Writing down how I feel. Talking to a good friend. And yes I have been known to self medicate with coffee or alcohol. Not too much mind you but it doesn't take much.Quote:
Originally Posted by Expat
-- not certain wether the info in here was correct, so deleted.
''Quote:
Originally Posted by Ms. Kensington
Comparing me to Zillah or Discojoe - no, I do not see much comparison. I do not think that makes me INTj however.
I can't believe you don't know you're INTj.Quote:
Originally Posted by UDP
On the other hand, I'm not yet ready to present a :Te: exertion thesis.
What is that supposed to mean?Quote:
Originally Posted by tcaudilllg
yeah she was the perfect example imhoQuote:
Originally Posted by Ms. Kensington
Reposting:
See if you dislike creative Te use in INTp's and ISTp's... Te criticism of actions, eg. the unvoiced claim that you are being 'clumsy' feels hurtful to any Ti/Fe type.
No it does not really bother me much. So long as the criticisms are real, I generally appreciate them.
Good way of putting it. That Youtube video of "TipToeChick" is another example of this, I think.Quote:
Originally Posted by Ms. Kensington
http://youtube.com/watch?v=4LeaUI7lx2U