Emotional expressiveness in IEIs (INFps)
A couple months ago I came to realize that many INFps are not particularly emotionally expressiveness. This was a bit of a surprise to me, because I had equated Fe with over the top (from my perspective) emotional expressiveness that I'd associated with Fe because of the... well, over the top (from my perspective) emotional expressiveness of Fe dominants and the seeming "I'm going to be cheery cheery cheery because everyone needs to be happy" or mindset of ISFps. (I admittedly do not have many good examples of ISFps though.)
I'd go as far as to say that many ExFps are more "emotionally expressive" than INFps, especially ESFps (from the perspective of the English language). Their emotional expression is different than that of Fe dominants, but it's more apparent than that of many INFps, regardless. There are also a lot of INFps who don't seem particularly warm. They just seem to very much dislike situations which are charged with negative emotion (such as people being pissed off at them, for example). When this type of situation arises, they may just try to excuse themselves from it, and they may incite the help of "stronger" people through emotional leverage (read that however you'd like to).
I recently read this description of Fe as the creative function, and it seems to fit with my observations.
Quote:
The person is sensitive to the emotional atmosphere around him, either from an individual, or a group, or even from inanimate objects such as the landscape, the state of the physical environment he happens to be in, or his own emotional associations with the place or people around him. A positive emotional atmophere is essential for his sense of well being and inner peace, and he either tries to promote it himself by directly influencing it around him, or by simply moving away from the environment or the people causing a negative emotional environment in his view. For the SEI, this takes an on-the-spot aspect and is reflected in cracking jokes, trying to make people laugh, or simply moving away from people he perceives as affecting him negatively. For the IEI, this takes a longer-term perspective; so the focus, rather than being on the immediate emotional environment, is on the perceived longer-term emotional state of others towards the individual, and is reflected in trying to be on good terms with those he interacts with or seeking distance or protection from, or "preventively" attacking, those he sees as irremediably hostile emotionally.
http://wikisocion.org/en/index.php?t...nd.29_function
Re: emotional expressiveness in INFps
Disclaimer: this is a negative portrayal and only represents a few INFps I've known. By no means do I intend to say that ALL INFps ARE this way, to this degree. This only represents INFp potential. Everyone is different.
In the moment, INFps might appear withdrawn from others, but the vibe I get is of snobbish rejection or punitive shunning rather than being aloof. I don't know if INFps can be aloof (ie, indifferent).
(INFps can also withdraw for long periods of time from people they care about in order to recharge, as many introverts do. That need not imply rejection.)
Some INFps "act" dark. Like wear nothing but black for years and mope all the time (sprinkled with intermittent periods of sporadic goofyness). Some people around them think that their apparent brooding is a ploy to get attention. I find that hard to believe. If someone gets upset or depressed, it's not always easy to snap out of, depending on the person and situation. Emotional pain can be hard to shake off as it is. So the claim of INTENTIONAL indulgence in negative emotions is so foreign to me, this seems like a myth. More likely: one gets stuck in them and wants to climb out.
I think INFps DO get overly emotionally expressive, especially when they get pissed and go off on one of their irrational rants. It's like they don't know how to turn it off, cool down and think logically for a moment, consider ANOTHER'S perspective as also potentially valid. They make spectacles of themselves, almost as though it were their duty? Usually those around them have no clue what even set them off. Their inner standards and expectations of others, when the INFp "goes wrong," have stuck me as being: 1) completely uncommunicated, 2) arbitrary, 3) inconsiderate, 4) unfair. The unhealthy ones may even make arbitrary demands in order for you to "prove" your affections for them in ways which are painful to you (and others), not normal, and completely uncalled for (emotional blackmail).
Even at a positive level, their emotional natures remain incongruent with my own. When they express their affection (and they act very shy when doing so), it seems sappy in character, even childlike to me. But this may only be because we have different emotional natures, and so, different styles. Not that there is anything actually WRONG with how they express themselves, simply because it doesn't suit me (heaven forbid!). INFps, like any type, need to be themselves ... A few times, their style of sentimental expressions versus the actual nature of our relationship has made me uncomfortable.
This is speculation, but at an inner psychic level INFps appear to be inherently nihlistic. It's like their "inner source" is absolute oblivion. So in effort to get in touch with SOMEthing from that great sense of "the void," they cling to tight ontological definitions as their starting point (Ni) and throw them around as their emotions direct them. They may sometimes appear to have a hard time validating much beyond them.
These observations of real life INFps I've known and are obviously filtered through my own type's perspective.
Don't consider this normative, rather, extreme cases which may more boldly highlight the type's inner ticking. I want to give the INFps at large the benefit of the doubt, here.
EDIT: On a positive note - when they ARE better functioning - INFps can also be excellent listeners and emotionally supportive of people they care about. They really ARE interested in where others are going in their emotional lives. Some INFps can act very tolerant, sympathetic, and understanding (which is more likely to be observed if the matter being discussed doesn't directly involved them). These qualities can help make them attractive and treasured friends.
Re: emotional expressiveness in INFps
Quote:
Originally Posted by Joy
A couple months ago I came to realize that many INFps are not particularly emotionally expressiveness.
What do you mean INFps aren't emotionally expressiveness? I think INFps are greatly emotionally expressiveness. Indeed, I see INFps emotionally expressivenessing themselves all over the place.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Khamelion
have fun with your 8th function
LOL