Originally Posted by
BulletsAndDoves
Confidence or just plain sanity/common sense. Dwelling on these feelings is never too pleasant for people after awhile. And even the most shyest/awkwardest person eventually tries to see if the person still likes him depending on how big the crush is, so I doubt it has anything to do with confidence. Sometimes though I like to think about a crush for awhile, but I know I'll get depressed if I just dwell on the feelings with no actions so I just stop until I can ask him if he likes me too.
Look, I just think people should be a tad more optimistic. Yes, you could get rejected but prolly not for the reasons you're thinking of. The truth is if you really like a person chances are you have a good shot with them despite how much people like to play the my love is so tragic and helpless card. Otherwise you wouldn't be hurting yourself that way, as nobody likes to chase windmills. Yeah I think you hear about the kind of romance where two people fall in love that are from different classes and shit, but I think that is rare and besides, they will most likely turn you off that way anyway. I am tired of the cutesy games people play sometimes. As a few people already know, I will tell you (in private, one-on-one) if I have a crush on you regardless if it's returned or not. (which I believe it still is or it can be, the other person is just uncertain) I guess I wear my heart on my sleeve but I figure... look, real, special feelings between actually giving a shit about another person is rare. So I might as well go with what I've got. And I'm probably the most unconfident person I know. I think a confident person would just be happier by themselves anyway, though I know now that living alone is not for me.
An ESFj told me one time 'omg what if that person says he hates you and blablabla' - but chances are you see something special in him/her already so you wouldn't be having these lovey-dovey feelings otherwise, as what would be the point? You already know damn well the person you like isn't going to be screaming in your face 'I hate you omg' and start making fun of you and all that shit anyway. Yes some people are turned on by aggression and playing hard to get, but 'real love' isn't like that. You probably like them because you feel they treat you in a special way compared to others, or whatever reason...you just do. You sense an inner compatibility.
I don't really have to 'do anything' when a person likes me in real life anyhow. I usually only feel obligated to 'formulate' my love when we're apart. All I do is kind of just send out good vibes and I notice they come to me (they'll make an excuse like they want me to help them with a problem but they really just want to get to know me better) Sometimes they'll ask me out directly. I've turned them down though before in the past as I'm still fairly young and I was SO not comfortable 'dating.' Now I wouldn't do that but yeah. Everything to do with me, nothing to do with them. That's what Jarno means when he says 'takes rejection personally.' Everybody I've ever liked has talked to me because I send messages that I am approachable and want to talk to them. If I don't want to get to know somebody, I just close off and I let them know discreetly I do not want to be bothered. That's why I believe there is no such thing as true unrequited love.
There's a quote I heard on Starting Over (yes I used to love that show, hehe) about how that unfortunately, people's fears are more powerful than their feelings of love, or something like that, and that's very true. Until a person conquers their own inner fears about themselves, they'll never love you, or anybody else for that matter.
Fuck. I type too much. ;p
