To get along with me, I need you to --

I do not "play" it, I use it as a tool. I do not enjoy arguing the opposite side for the sake of a spurious round of argumentation. I do it sometimes to learn and test, but not merely for entertainment.

Oh, I see....

Quote:

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play devil's advocate
to pretend to be against an idea or plan which a lot of people support in order to make people discuss it in more detail and think about it more carefully. I don't think he was really in favour of getting rid of the scheme, he was just playing devil's advocate. I know that most people here support the project, but let me play devil's advocate for a moment and ask if anyone has considered the cost?

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I was not aware that is what it meant. Then yes, I do "play devil's advocate" quite often.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by UDP III

Oh, I see....

Quote:

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play devil's advocate
to pretend to be against an idea or plan which a lot of people support in order to make people discuss it in more detail and think about it more carefully. I don't think he was really in favour of getting rid of the scheme, he was just playing devil's advocate. I know that most people here support the project, but let me play devil's advocate for a moment and ask if anyone has considered the cost?

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I was not aware that is what it meant. Then yes, I do "play devil's advocate" quite often.

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It is originally a Catholic term which meaning has since been "generalized" to be used in popular language.

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Advocatus Diaboli

("Advocate of the Devil" or "Devil's Advocate").

A popular title given to one of the most important officers of the Sacred Congregation of Rites, established in 1587, by Sixtus V, to deal juridically with processes of beatification and canonization. His official title is Promoter of the Faith (Promotor Fidei). His duty requires him to prepare in writing all possible arguments, even at times seemingly slight, against the raising of any one to the honours of the altar. The interest and honour of the Church are concerned in preventing any one from receiving those honours whose death is not juridically proved to have been "precious in the sight of God"

Quote:

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Originally Posted by XoX

Advocatus Diaboli

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that sounds better.

I also related most to A but thought it was a bit strong. H and G seemed ok.. A fit the most because I could bold the greatest percentage of words in that one. :8*

A > G and H

I hate to admit it but "C" for me. Only in my mind its "ask me what I can do for you."

Probably D. Though I don't like to be knocked over the head with reality, I prefer if you give it to me in small doses. In addition I want somebody that appreciates my raw idealism and hopefulness.

A:

- Be direct and honest with me. I don't care for playing games.
- Don't assume my assertive manner is an attack. It simply makes sense to me to be direct.
- When you disagree, tell me. When I'm wrong, tell me. If you have something helpful, tell me.

I like playing games in a nice comfortable setting, but not all the time - I don't expect people to know instinctively if I'm not in the mood for games, but I expect them to be honest in their motives.

B:

-Don’t clip my wings. I need as much freedom as the situation will allow.
-Lighten up and let’s have more fun together. Say something positive.
- Be patient if I’m not as structured or disciplined as you.

I don't like people to tell me what to do or tell me off - I think B applies to me, but only because if someone is more negative than me, they certainly should lighten up. I don't usually set out to lighten up someone's mood - usually, someone else does that, and I follow their lead.

C:

-Appreciate all the special things I do for you. And give back. Ask me what I would like.
- When you must criticize me, be sensitive. I'm trying to do a good job to please you.
- Don't take advantage of my good will and support. I can burn-out trying to help.

This doesn't apply to me, because it isn't something I would say to someone else - I'd expect them to know this already about me


D:

- Value and recognize my contribution, my specialness and gifts.
-Let me be me. And, remember, I need meaningful work to feel committed and alive.
- Be patient with my tendency to be "sensitive," and encourage me to do reality checks.

I think this applies to me - those are the sort of thing I like to talk about - I don't think I put the responsibility on someone else's door though (at least not directly) - I just hope that people are understanding, rather than 'force' them to act this way - these are acts of kindness, in my book.

E:

- Do what you say you’re going to do, and do it right so I don't have to take it on or pick up
the slack and then get resentful. Also, be more helpful so I don't have to carry so much.
- Appreciate how hard I work and how good a job I do. Sometimes you resist me.
- Pay attention to the details. And be proactive looking to catch the mistakes so I don't have to.

...way too harsh - especially compared to D - I prolly fear becoming a burden on someone for these reasons, though - these are rules I try to follow, rather than expect others to follow

F:

-Respect my need for privacy and space. I'm uncomfortable being engulfed with your needs.
-In working with me, have your facts ready and be objective, straight forward and succinct.
-Don't dismiss my analysis or ideas. I try to think things out very carefully.

True, but not true...I don't see these things being completely good or completely bad - there are times when I want to be completely alone, because it would cost me too much to involve someone else, and yet I secretly desire it - there are also times when I really want to help someone, because the look of resignation on their face makes me worry, too... In the other areas, I want there to be room to manoeuvre

G:

-Be clear & honest in communicating with me; ambiguity or any withholding drives me crazy.
-Don't take it personally when I play devil's advocate. I am great troubleshooter.
-Be patient and understanding when I overreact to problems because of my anxiety.

I don't expect people to be patient if I'm overreacting - but I don't expect them to be harsh either (i.e. say things they later regret). I hope they just leave me alone, or treat me indirectly - I don't like being second-guessed in those situations, but I like being treated honestly (I don't like people profiting at my expense in those situations). The first two statements apply to me, but not completely - I only dislike people who are blatantly and cynically dishonest - if someone has private concerns or fears, which might need them to be ambiguous or withhold certain things, I want to help them in their time of need. I don't really play Devil's Advocate in order to trouble-shoot - it's just something I naturally do (so I wouldn't say I'm a great troubleshooter).

H:

- Be patient with my pace. I work best without constant monitoring and pressure tactics.
- If you must confront or get a commitment from me, an unpressured discussion will get results.
- Be sure you really have my attention if it's important. Remember, I need structure. Gently.

I don't like people pressurizing me for the sake of pressurizing me - ideally, rather than monitoring me and pressurizing me, they would be leading by example, and helping with the work - so yeah, this sort of applies to me - I think B) describes it better though.

I:

-Notice what I do and achieve. Encourage me. Praise is the gas that makes my motor go.
-Keep up with me. Don't slow me down or get in the way. I don't like interruptions, being
diverted, or having to carry your load.
-And do a good job so it I can be proud of what we accomplish.

I don't do things for the sake of ostentatious pride or for 'accomplishment' - I'm not a race horse either - 2) might apply to me, but it seems too inconsiderate - people who know me know when this applies - 'I'm not selfish, but I have problems of my own'

So, maybe (A > D > B > F )> (H> G > C > I > E)

[mistake]

I is the most accurate, and I also identified with parts of A, E and G.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Expat

A:
- Be direct and honest with me. I don't care for playing games.
- Don't assume my assertive manner is an attack. It simply makes sense to me to be direct.
- When you disagree, tell me. When I'm wrong, tell me. If you have something helpful, tell me.

E:
- Do what you say you’re going to do, and do it right so I don't have to take it on or pick up
the slack and then get resentful. Also, be more helpful so I don't have to carry so much.
- Appreciate how hard I work and how good a job I do. Sometimes you resist me.
- Pay attention to the details. And be proactive looking to catch the mistakes so I don't have to.


G:
-Be clear & honest in communicating with me; ambiguity or any withholding drives me crazy.
-Don't take it personally when I play devil's advocate. I am great troubleshooter.
-Be patient and understanding when I overreact to problems because of my anxiety.


I:
-Notice what I do and achieve. Encourage me. Praise is the gas that makes my motor go.
-Keep up with me. Don't slow me down or get in the way. I don't like interruptions, being
diverted, or having to carry your load.
-And do a good job so it I can be proud of what we accomplish.

---

A, with some B and a little G and I

whoa. Lemme DUST OFF this thread before I answer it.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Ritella

whoa. Lemme DUST OFF this thread before I answer it.

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Lol, I was bored so I looked through Expat's archives.

I identified with both A and B. A is way too serious to be considered a capsulized version of my attitudes, but B is not enough of the story. If I had to choose one over the other, I would like B over A.
From the comments Expat made, that would put me at 7w8, which is what I thought I was from reading various websites. Several (several) people have opined that there is no way in hell an SLI could be a 7, so meh. w/e.
Not sure what to do with enneatypes anyway.

I'm not 100% on the ordering, but for the moment, I'm thinking D>C>B. Possibly C>D>B.

I'd go D slightly > B > F

Which I guess indicates 4 > 7 > 5

:confused:

D>F>B

I didn't see a key either.

My ESE husband would definitely be:

C>E

I relate to a lot of things from quite a few of them, but probably I the most.

I'm guessing mine is 4>5>7

A 8
B 7
C 2
D 4
E 1
F 5
G 6
H 9
I 3

In bold are what Expat directly said they were

:o Maybe my husband is a 2w1. He usually tests as a 6 but according to these, not so much.

D.

A<E<D<B<I

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Expat

Please tell me if you readily identify the most with any of those, as in "To get along with me, I need you to --"

They are based on the Enneagram, but a bit out of order.




A:

- Be direct and honest with me. I don't care for playing games.
- Don't assume my assertive manner is an attack. It simply makes sense to me to be direct.
- When you disagree, tell me. When I'm wrong, tell me. If you have something helpful, tell me.

---

Definitely. If people draw out what they have to say it can lose impact.

Although I don't really like people disagreeing with me if the pressure is on. So people sometimes have to disagree with me at the right time, in the right way; and if they can't pick the right time, or act the right way they should go through someone who can if they don't want to be dismissed.

Quote:

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B:

-Don’t clip my wings. I need as much freedom as the situation will allow.
-Lighten up and let’s have more fun together. Say something positive.
- Be patient if I’m not as structured or disciplined as you.

---

Kind of. I hate artificially limited environments.

Quote:

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C:

-Appreciate all the special things I do for you. And give back. Ask me what I would like.
- When you must criticize me, be sensitive. I'm trying to do a good job to please you.
- Don't take advantage of my good will and support. I can burn-out trying to help.

---

Yeah.

Quote:

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D:

- Value and recognize my contribution, my specialness and gifts.
-Let me be me. And, remember, I need meaningful work to feel committed and alive.
- Be patient with my tendency to be "sensitive," and encourage me to do reality checks.


E:

- Do what you say you’re going to do, and do it right so I don't have to take it on or pick up
the slack and then get resentful. Also, be more helpful so I don't have to carry so much.
- Appreciate how hard I work and how good a job I do. Sometimes you resist me.
- Pay attention to the details. And be proactive looking to catch the mistakes so I don't have to.


F:

-Respect my need for privacy and space. I'm uncomfortable being engulfed with your needs.
-In working with me, have your facts ready and be objective, straight forward and succinct.
-Don't dismiss my analysis or ideas. I try to think things out very carefully.


G:

-Be clear & honest in communicating with me; ambiguity or any withholding drives me crazy.
-Don't take it personally when I play devil's advocate. I am great troubleshooter.
-Be patient and understanding when I overreact to problems because of my anxiety.



H:

- Be patient with my pace. I work best without constant monitoring and pressure tactics.
- If you must confront or get a commitment from me, an unpressured discussion will get results.
- Be sure you really have my attention if it's important. Remember, I need structure. Gently.


I:

-Notice what I do and achieve. Encourage me. Praise is the gas that makes my motor go.
-Keep up with me. Don't slow me down or get in the way. I don't like interruptions, being
diverted, or having to carry your load.
-And do a good job so it I can be proud of what we accomplish.

---

The others aren't as easy to relate to.

I would go with "I"

for me, I think "F"

A:

- Be direct and honest with me. I don't care for playing games.
- Don't assume my assertive manner is an attack. It simply makes sense to me to be direct.
- When you disagree, tell me. When I'm wrong, tell me. If you have something helpful, tell me.

When in conflict.

B:

-Don’t clip my wings. I need as much freedom as the situation will allow.
-Lighten up and let’s have more fun together. Say something positive.
- Be patient if I’m not as structured or disciplined as you.

When I need time (and space) to take things through and get myself back on track.

C:

-Appreciate all the special things I do for you. And give back. Ask me what I would like.
- When you must criticize me, be sensitive. I'm trying to do a good job to please you.
- Don't take advantage of my good will and support. I can burn-out trying to help.

...

D:

- Value and recognize my contribution, my specialness and gifts.
-Let me be me. And, remember, I need meaningful work to feel committed and alive.
- Be patient with my tendency to be "sensitive," and encourage me to do reality checks.

"Let me be" is the best thing I can relate to, this relates a bit to B for me. This kind of covers up the rest of the things said here, too , for me but I don't point such aspects out in particular.....

E:

- Do what you say you’re going to do, and do it right so I don't have to take it on or pick up
the slack and then get resentful. Also, be more helpful so I don't have to carry so much.
- Appreciate how hard I work and how good a job I do. Sometimes you resist me.
- Pay attention to the details. And be proactive looking to catch the mistakes so I don't have to.

/
F:

-Respect my need for privacy and space. I'm uncomfortable being engulfed with your needs.
-In working with me, have your facts ready and be objective, straight forward and succinct.
-Don't dismiss my analysis or ideas. I try to think things out very carefully.

This would be true for me if I'd work somewhere where you need to make some careful objective analysis of things

G:

-Be clear & honest in communicating with me; ambiguity or any withholding drives me crazy.
-Don't take it personally when I play devil's advocate. I am great troubleshooter.
-Be patient and understanding when I overreact to problems because of my anxiety.

This would generally apply to me =) But I'm not always that turbulent. I have a quiet caring nature so if all goes well with me that certainly pops out. Thing is I'm often quite easily disturbed. So if I am very, Very disturbed and can't get my mind off it with fun or relaxing stuff I kinda need you to imply G for me +)

H:

- Be patient with my pace. I work best without constant monitoring and pressure tactics.
- If you must confront or get a commitment from me, an unpressured discussion will get results.
- Be sure you really have my attention if it's important. Remember, I need structure. Gently.

YES, especially for teachers and parents :p I need a kick in the butt sometimes but I certainly need gentleness and a relaxed temperament talking to me

I:

-Notice what I do and achieve. Encourage me. Praise is the gas that makes my motor go.
-Keep up with me. Don't slow me down or get in the way. I don't like interruptions, being
diverted, or having to carry your load.
-And do a good job so it I can be proud of what we accomplish.

Yes yes.. I agree b/c it sounds like it makes a positive and stimulating environment and I often like/need stimulation and positive reassurement.
I wouldn't mind carrying someone else's load though if they need support. So actually you may interrupt if you need me.

I'd say the things that pop out are... *blank*
Or will I let the expert do the math?

To get along with me, I need you to not ask me these questions.