• Identical Relations INFp and INFp by Stratiyevskaya

    Identical Relations INFp and INFp by Stratiyevskaya

    IEI– INFp – Esenin (Ni-Fe)

    See also:
    Type and Intertype Descriptions by Stratiyevskaya
    Quick Intertype Chart
    Wikisocion - Vera Stratiyevskaya

    One of the sweetest representative of this type has requested help during relationship counseling with the following problem: for some inexplicable reason she was attracting to herself weak and childish men.

    What was the cause of this? This reason was very simple: this charming woman became acquainted with these men through her ad, which advertised such qualities as sensitivity, warmth, sincerity, compassionate and accommodating attitude, and ability to listen. Candidates who sought her to pour out their hearts she found a plenty. She met with many of them, listened to all, and after hearing them out she came to the conclusion that all men are weak, worthless whiners, that other types of men simply do not exist, and if they exist why isn't she meeting them?

    What was going on here? Initially, she found these new acquaintances to be interesting. At first, she found it to be surprisingly easy and pleasant to talk to them and discovered that they have many shared interests and tastes, as well as views on life. Gradually, at some stage of communication, she began to notice that the vast majority of these people are trying to draw her attention to some kind of unresolved problems of their own: they seemed to be always alluding to the fact that they need help and support of a loving and caring woman.

    Noticing that her relationships with her "new friends" develop along the same scenario, the girl grew seriously worried: "Yes, I am a sincere and sympathetic person, but this isn't to be taken advantage of – I am not always strong and need support, too. I don't see myself coddling a weak-willed man for the rest of my life." Determining in this way which qualities she actually prefers, she changed the text of her ad, and instead of advertising her softness and pliability she began searching for a strong, confident, and purposeful partner. That is, through communication with her identicals and similar types, she independently came to realize the necessity of dual complementarity and that what she really needed was a complementary opposite.

    Why is communication between ethical intuitive types so discomforting? At neutral distance, their communication is usually a sweet and friendly conversation, where each partner tries to entertain the other with cute and charming trifles, each tries amuse, enchant, and captivate the other. However, this is not all. In the process of communication each of them is subconsciously evaluating his companion. For IEI, this is done via observing function of intuition of possibilities. In the course of conversation, each partner implicitly gauges the social status, importance, and capabilities of the other, probes for their chances for success and advancement, and checks for how settled and secure they are in life and in their household. Each of them gathers information about their new acquaintance: who this person is, what he or she represents and stands for, how adapted he or she is to life. Each of them asks questions such as: "Have you already made all arrangements? .. Do you know anything of this? ... Have you already purchased it? ... What are your plans for the future? ... Has anyone helped you? ... Are you acquainted with so-and-so? " ... and so on, in the same manner.

    Of course, these questions are rarely asked directly but rather in a very polite and unobtrusive form. Nevertheless, such inquiries alarm the other partner, and thus, with time certain tension arises in their communication – each of them feels himself to be the object of observation and reconnaissance.

    In the absence of clear informational advantage of one of them, communication of two representatives of these sociotypes does not last long. Neither of the partners feels like he receives the necessary support over sensing and logical aspects, neither of them gets the right information for their suggestive function, so pretty soon each begins to realize that he is dealing with a languid and diffident individual, who rarely takes initiative and who himself is in need of strong-willed support and assurance and a partner who could help him resolve his problems.

    Eventually their communication turns into a rather sluggish dialogue between two intuitives, each of whom sighs and laments about how he is unsettled, each delicately hints at his unresolved problems and expectantly looks at his partner – would there be an offer of effective help from him? Subconsciously being oriented at demonstrative practicality and active helpfulness of their dual, the SLE, Esenins will feel disappointed by each other's inertia and expectant wariness: both understand what specific assistance they are looking for, both make allusions to it, both wait when their partner will finally "break" and respond to this call for concrete activity. Both also realize how burdensome it is to offer this assistance themselves and consider that it is better to wait until somebody else makes the first move.

    When this intuitive opposition starts feeling awkward, burdensome, and so blatantly useless for both of them, their relationship is interrupted and partners part, feeling frustrated and disappointed with one another.

    source: http://socionika-forever.blogspot.co...post_2534.html
    discussion: http://www.the16types.info/vbulletin...-INFp-amp-INFp
    Comments 2 Comments
    1. betterthan's Avatar
      betterthan -
      I didn't post this
    1. Adam Strange's Avatar
      Adam Strange -
      As an intuitive, I can verify that I prefer sensors.

      In high school, I had three male friends; an ISFj (ESI), an INTp (ILI), and an INFp (IEI). The INTp and the INFp were great for rational conversation, but I would have killed for the ISFj.

      My dating life follows the same pattern. As an Extroverted iNtuitive, all my GF's have been introverts, and I have had the most memorable relationships with sensors. No ISFp's (conflictors), but two ISTj's (Mirage), one ISFj (Dual) and I married (and divorced) an ISTp (Supervisor).

      I have also dated the four introverted intuitives, but the relationships seem to go nowhere, just as Stratiyevskaya describes above.