• Activity Relations ENFp and ESTj by Stratiyevskaya

    Activity Relations ENFp and ESTj by Stratiyevskaya


    LSE – ESTj – Stierlitz (Te-Si)
    IEE – ENFp – Huxley (Ne-Fi)

    See also:
    Type and Intertype Descriptions by Stratiyevskaya
    Quick Intertype Chart
    Wikisocion - Vera Stratiyevskaya



    In this pair, the interaction is between two tactical, negativist, extraverted types. They are both demonstratively helpful and diplomatic. Both cherish their relationships, but in addition each tries to "pull" the situation to his side using a whole arsenal of tactics.

    LSE becomes activated on the aspect of "intuition opportunities" – in the IEE he sees someone who is unique, exceptional, and talented, a multifaceted personality, a person who is often surrounded by original and interesting people each of whom is great in his own way.

    IEE is activated by an aspect of "logic of actions". LSE to him seems as someone who can provide actual help in resolution of practical problems: strong, courageous, noble, possessing extraordinary intelligence and fine taste, and knowledgeable of how to present himself effectively.

    Are activators disappointed in each other? No - such favorable impressions persist for a long time. At this stage they only feel a bit of annoyance at the fact that one's partner is using all these wonderful qualities not as they should be used.

    Some time later LSE begins to feel that the IEE is as if playing around with him, being clever and coy, and starting up some intrigues - and for what reason? Meanwhile IEE begins feeling perplexed and disturbed by the harsh directness of his activity partner, LSE's habit to not try to slip out of the situation (thereby smoothing things out), but, to the contrary, to go for a straightforward and candid explanation, to get into very essence of relations trying to completely figure everything out. By this, observant, pedantic, very straightforward and somewhat harsh in communication LSE begins to scare the IEE, who starts to experience the ever-increasing discomfort in presence of his activator. Huxley stars feeling more and more tired of the stress and of the tightening control of the LSE and burdened by the presence. At this point, IEE will want to "slip" out of this situation and "diffuse" the distance. Now he wishes that there would be someone else in place of his spouse (and subconsciously, he is already thinking of other options).

    What happens next can be envisioned on an example of a very sweet and intelligent married couple who have been in relations of activation for about eleven years. He (LSE) is a constructor-technologist and author of many patents and inventions. She (IEE) is a scholar, a linguist fluent in several languages, a person of many talents, who every six months takes up a new hobby.

    Their acquaintance was very romantic. They happened to be at the same social gathering: she was the "queen of the ball" and performed couple of songs to her own accompaniment. He immediately realized that he was "lost", caught her in his arms and whisked her away.

    Outwardly, they made an impression of a very well-to-do couple, in which each found his own role and developed his own model of behavior: she played the role of a light-minded child, who could be as naughty as she wanted, but at the same time try not to get caught, while he related to her as a wisdom-filled father figure, even though their age difference was not that great (only ten years).

    How did they get along? This bright, restless and hyper-sociable Huxley and socially withdrawn, stern "homebody" Shtirlits.

    Almost every evening, coming home from work, he would witness the same scene: various guests wandering around aimlessly in his apartment. This was an ever-changing stream of faces of friends and acquaintances, some of whom became favorites, while others disappeared as if they never existed - a full house of unfamiliar people, among whom were also his children, wandering around unsupervised. Some foreigners would be sitting in the corners and speaking obscure languages, some artists would be painting the door of his bedroom, some musicians would be playing on his piano, and some "bards" would be occupying with his guitar. He would go to the kitchen to eat, but there would be already some merry company settled there and no place for him. Among this crowd he sees his wife, but she is too involved in her conversation with another "rising star" and doesn't care about what he has to say. In short, he is constantly reminded that he is just one of many, and perhaps it would be better if he were not there at all. He goes into his office and sits there, trying to focus on his work and waiting until the guests disperse. Not all of them depart, of course, some where late for the last subway train, while others are going to stay overnight simply because they feel well in this house - they are led to different rooms for the night.

    However, there were days when he could rest from these mind-blowing "hangouts" and "gatherings". Coming back from work, he would find his children home alone - this happened every time that his wife left with a group of tourists for a 3-4 day hike. These days he lived peacefully and calmly at home - more precisely, this was until he had found out what all his friends already knew - that there were no hiking trips, simply the fun moved to another apartment for these days where the next "favorite" of his wife had lived. (The address would be given to all those who have "partaken in the mystery of the communion" in advance.)

    Thus, he was offered the role of the husband "cuckold" (or "old fool" from the Italian comedy) which he did not wish to accept, so their marriage dispelled very soon and in a rather trivial manner: after issuing a divorce his wife married one of the foreigners who periodically visited their apartment.

    After her departure, he felt very lonely, homesick, and as soon as possible he followed after her - under the pretext of visiting their daughter ...


    Source: http://socionika-forever.blogspot.com/2010/03/4_29.html
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    Comments 31 Comments
    1. Beautiful sky's Avatar
      Beautiful sky -
      This is what's meant by "autonomy"? I guess when you have someone, like an IEE, being a social butterfly, not caring much about you and your kids, you figure it's a good thing to have your own space and call it "autonomy". IEE is looking for someone else already...lol.

      "Observant, pedantic, very straightforward and somewhat harsh in communication Shtirlits begins to scare Huxley away. The later starts to experience the ever-increasing discomfort in LSE's presence - IEE becomes more and more tired of the stress and of the tightening control of his "activator" and begins to feel burdened by the presence of his LSE partner. Here, IEE will want to "slip" out of this situation and to "dilute" the distance. He already will want there to be someone else in place of his spouse. (Subconsciously, he is already looking for other options.)"
    1. Suz's Avatar
      Suz -
      not all IEEs are like that....
    1. Raver's Avatar
      Raver -
      Lol, so the moral of the story is the IEE will eventually cheat on the LSE out of boredom. Odd description, good for a laugh though.
    1. Suz's Avatar
      Suz -
      I highly doubt that. If anything, LSEs are a little bit overwhelming for me.
    1. Suz's Avatar
      Suz -
      p.s. The Sound of Music was about an IEE-LSE couple. That wasn't so bad now was it?
    1. applejacks's Avatar
      applejacks -
      I can see the initial attraction between these two types, especially if they're engaging in activities they both enjoy (travel, sports, biking, parties, etc)

      From my personal experience however, it feels as if what I try to tell the LSE is never fully absorbed, and vice versa. In fact, the last conversation I had with an LSE literally ended with her saying "I don't understand what you mean. Hold on, let me get the door." Then guests flooded the house. @NobleFool - sound familiar?

      @Raver - I don't think this necessarily implies "cheating", but I think as an IEE, we'll seek some sort of connection elsewhere. It's almost as if we need attentive, understanding ears in order to talk through and realize our own thoughts and conclusions.
    1. Suz's Avatar
      Suz -
      That's true, it could all just reflect that extravert-extravert dynamic, where both extraverts want to extravert. That's definitely happened to me with LSEs also. But eventually once we hear each other out, we understand each other. It's part of the "exhausting" dynamic. I still love them though.
    1. InvisibleJim's Avatar
      InvisibleJim -
      No-one is more special than an IEE and no-one is more important than an LSE.
    1. applejacks's Avatar
      applejacks -
      Quote Originally Posted by NobleFool View Post
      Lmao.

      This is ironic:

      I'm at work right now (getting some overtime in on a Saturday), so I skimmed what you said, and didn't understand at first.

      So then I re-read it, and understood it was about an LSE not understanding because they have work to do.
      But doesn't an LSE always feel as if they have work to do? If so, that would make sense. I never really connect on a deeper level with LSE as a result.
    1. applejacks's Avatar
      applejacks -
      Quote Originally Posted by NobleFool View Post
      Later this afternoon, I'm going to a party to celebrate my stepbrother's birthday. I'm getting my work done early today so I don't have to worry about it later and can enjoy more important things like family.
      But won't you find work to do at the party? Like acting as a supportive host, etc?

      I didn't mean that to sound accusing, I'm just trying to get inside your brain and understand (to improve my relationship with an LSE)

      Also, props to you for working on a Saturday! That's discipline.
    1. applejacks's Avatar
      applejacks -
      Quote Originally Posted by NobleFool View Post
      No, my mom likes to host everything and make sure everyone is taken care of. I'll offer to help to be nice, but she'll refuse, saying I'm a guest. This is getting more ironic, because she's an IEE.
      This made me laugh.



      Quote Originally Posted by NobleFool View Post
      Some people seem to have the philosophy that if you're happy, you're productive; I, however, believe that if you're productive, you're happy.
      This speaks to me as the perfect example for the difference between IEE and LSE. I have to agree that your approach (productivity first, happiness follows) is much more admirable. Unfortunately I find that I'm built in the opposite direction!
    1. Waster's Avatar
      Waster -
      Quote Originally Posted by Raver View Post
      Lol, so the moral of the story is the IEE will eventually cheat on the LSE out of boredom. Odd description, good for a laugh though.
      Moral of the story: Don't let IEE invite people over.
    1. Raver's Avatar
      Raver -
      Quote Originally Posted by applejacks View Post
      I can see the initial attraction between these two types, especially if they're engaging in activities they both enjoy (travel, sports, biking, parties, etc)
      This rings true from my own interactions with those I suspected as LSE.

      Quote Originally Posted by applejacks View Post
      I don't think this necessarily implies "cheating", but I think as an IEE, we'll seek some sort of connection elsewhere. It's almost as if we need attentive, understanding ears in order to talk through and realize our own thoughts and conclusions.
      Yes, we need SLIs.
    1. InvisibleJim's Avatar
      InvisibleJim -
      Quote Originally Posted by StridingStrider View Post
      Moral of the story: Don't let IEE invite people over.
      Moral of the story, don't date IEEs
    1. Beautiful sky's Avatar
      Beautiful sky -
      Quote Originally Posted by StridingStrider View Post
      Moral of the story: Don't let IEE invite people over.
      LOL. I want to put that in my signature
    1. Iris's Avatar
      Iris -
      This story is SO DRAMATIC. (Not very delta.)
    1. mu4's Avatar
      mu4 -
      It's not that dramatic, it doesn't seem like there's a ton of fighting...
    1. Suz's Avatar
      Suz -
      Quote Originally Posted by applejacks View Post
      But doesn't an LSE always feel as if they have work to do? If so, that would make sense. I never really connect on a deeper level with LSE as a result.
      idk, i always feel like i have work to do...it never ends...
      Maybe too many of my bosses are LSE!
    1. lemontrees's Avatar
      lemontrees -
      Lol at this story. Just, lol.

      I've never had anything nearly this exciting happen with LII's ;___;
    1. Suz's Avatar
      Suz -
      In general i find Stratievskaya's take on deltas a little bit off... or at least not how I would see things...