• Erotic Attitudes


    Erotic Attitudes

    If you are coming from MBTI please note that Socionics assigns j/p letters differently from the way MBTI does. Do not translate your MBTI type directly to Socionics type. If you want to find out your Socionics type, you can take socionics type tests, fill out a typing questionnaire form or make a freeform thread in What's My Type subforum, and read through the type discussions posted in socionics resources thread. Participating in forum discussions and chatbox provides more accurate feedback and type suggestions in typing threads. To read how Socionics j/p letter assignments differ from MBTI J/P visit the type names page.

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    Viktor Gulenko has proposed four groups of romance styles, also referred to as "erotic behavior" groups or "erotic attitudes". Other socionists, such as Valentina Meged and Aleksandr Bukalov, have also written on how type influences behavior in intimate relationships, but discussed typical behavior within quadras. Gulenko's approach was to find common ground between types of different quadras. Obviously, all interpretations in this area assume, or conclude, that the greatest degree of compatibility in that area is between dual pairs.

    Gulenko's romance styles are defined by the irrational element in the individual's Ego functions:

    "Aggressor" Se in EGO block ESTp (SLE, SeTi), ESFp (SEE, SeFi)
    ISTj (LSI, TiSe), ISFj (ESI, FiSe)
    "Victim" Ni in EGO block ENTj (LIE, TeNi), ENFj (EIE, FeNi)
    INTp (ILI, NiTe), INFp (IEI, NiFe)
    "Caring" Si in EGO block ESTj (LSE, TeSi), ESFj (ESE, FeSi)
    ISTp (SLI, SiTe), ISFp (SEI, SiFe)
    "Childlike" Ne in EGO block ENTp (ILE, NeTi), ENFp (IEE, NeFi)
    INTj (LII, TiNe), INFj (EII, FiNe)

    "Romance styles" refer specifically to romantic/sexual interaction -- displaying physical attraction, interest, and desire, flirting, and sexual behavior present in romantic relationships. These styles apply much less to relationships between friends or business partners.

    A more detailed description of romancing styles provided below was not written by Victor Gulenko, although it is often misattributed to him, but another western socionist.

    Please note: The names of romancing styles should not be translated literally. Romancing styles terms "victim", "aggressor", "childlike", "caring" do not carry the same meaning in Socionics as the colloquial everyday meaning of these words.

    Psuedo-Aggressors/Employees: LIE (ENTj) ILI (INTp)

    These are types who exhibit aggressive tendencies in their everyday life, and as a result tend to carry over these notions and temperaments into their romantic life. They typically are not comfortable with connotations of the word "victim" - implying a certain weakness, effeteness, and lack of dignity. In searching for a partner, they are looking for a worthy opponent - someone who is strong enough to withstand their quirks without "breaking" so to speak.

    Aggressors/Employers: SEE (ESFp) ESI (ISFj)

    These types, like the conquerors, express their sexuality openly. In daily life they may tend to be rather submissive and as a result may tend to carry over these tendencies into their romantic life. They are won over by indirect acts of submission, and are thrilled when their love interest (in the case of the "psuedo-aggressor" type) acts unlike himself. In a partner, they are looking for their equal - someone whose solid facade they can break down piece by piece.

    Conquerors: SLE (ESTp) LSI (ISTj)

    These are assertive types who do not flinch at their own sexuality. They will express their own desire without reservation. They are won over by direct shows of submission (only after feeling that they have earned it). He will be insulted if his romantic interest gives him his title without question, and bored if the fight is too easily won. He, like the Pseudo-Aggressor and the Challenger, is questing to find his equal. Someone he can play his almost sadistic games with without "breaking."

    Challengers/Trophies: EIE (ENFj) IEI (INFp)

    These are the types who unconsciously throw a "gauntlet" down for their opponents. They know on an almost subliminal level exactly who they are looking for, and anyone who does not fit the bill will be subjected to a rather flakey, hot-cold game of courting tag. As a result, they may appear (both to others and to themselves) rather amorphous and can take on qualities of the other romantic attitudes, depending on the situation and who they are "challenging."

    They may, for example, give the victim half his aggressor, the psuedo-aggressor a little victim, the caregiver a bit of his child, etc. They react best, however, to those who do not "break" as a result of their games, but grant them a level of autonomy. Healthy examples of this type will have a sense of self-esteem, and may think of themselves as the "prize" that will be given only to the rightful owner.

    Pseudo-Caregivers/Students: IEE (ENFp) EII (INFj)

    These are types who exhibit paternal/maternal tendencies towards others in their everyday lives and may thus carry over these notions and temperaments into their romantic life. These types habitually attempt to give their partner what he/she "needs" (or what they believe they need). As a result, they may become drained by lack of attendance to their own needs and desires. In a partner, they are searching for a combination of strength and gentleness.

    Teachers: LSE (ESTj) SLI (ISTp)

    If I were to describe this type's approach to love, it would be "serious." He approaches his love interest almost with the intention to "teach." This can quite possibly rub the object of his affection in the wrong way, possibly interpreted as condescension. Like the childlike type, he may tend to live "outside sexuality" and may have to intellectualize it in order to be comfortable. He is looking for a worthy pupil.

    Childlike Types: ENTp (ILE) INTj (LII)

    These types seem to exist outside their own sexuality. Sex is to be metabolized psychologically for them in an almost roundabout way - as an emotional entity, or possibly even an intellectual exercise. In a partner, they are looking for someone who will deal with (and protect) their quirks and understand their sexuality on the same intellectual/emotional level.

    Caregivers: ESE (ESFj) SEI (ISFp)

    These are those types who openly express their need to "protect" and care for their romantic interest. In conversation may often lend a sympathetic ear (which, depending on the person, may be interpreted as insincerity, but it's exactly what the Child-like type is looking for). They are looking for someone who will not only accept their paternal/maternal tendencies, but welcome and thrive on it.

    Related discussions and links:

    How accurate are Erotic Attitudes / Romancing Styles?
    Wikisocion - Romance Styles
    Wikisocion - Communication Styles
    Wikisocion - Romantic Behavior of Quadras and Subtypes
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