Having Other People in the Room

silverchris9 · 03-12-2010, 06:57 AM

Ever since I was a little boy, even if I had to do something by myself, I would like other people to be in the same room as me. We didn't have to interact or anything, they just had to be in the same room. That's still true now; most of the time when I'm on this forum, I'm actually in my friends' suite-style dorm lounge. Obviously, I'm not focusing on hanging out with any of these people while I'm typing about some random personality theory crap that none of them has ever heard of. But I still like being in the room with other people, even while doing a solitary activity. I've always liked the idea of being "alone together" with another person; being in the same space, but both focusing on unrelated things. Even in groups, I think it's pretty cool.

So, my question is, is this in any way type related, or is this just a quirk that's particular to me?

Rubicon · 03-12-2010, 08:50 AM

I'm the same. So we can call this an Fe-creative trait until someone else comes in and blows that theory out of the water. :-p

munenori2 · 03-12-2010, 09:28 AM

YOUR RONG!!!1!!!!!!!1!!

Rubicon · 03-12-2010, 09:38 AM

1981slater · 03-12-2010, 09:45 AM

I can't be more than 30 seconds in the same room as somebody without talking to him/her, so I try to be alone when doing something important.

munenori2 · 03-12-2010, 09:47 AM

Shagbag The Wizard · 03-12-2010, 11:16 AM

I definitely prefer to be alone in a room. When there are other people around, all my energy by default goes into monitoring their speech and behaviour, constantly checking that the situation is "ok" or "manageable".

It also takes a lot of energy to say and do the things that people need to hear and see from me in order to maintain a sense of harmony. I tend to pander to people all the time at my own expense. Like if they're talking about something they are really enthusiastic about, I feel compelled to show an equally intense interest in the subject (even if it bores me) so as to maintain a sense of "equilibrium" and "connection" between us, or at the very least not to offend their dignity.

matilda · 03-12-2010, 11:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shagbag The Wizard

I definitely prefer to be alone in a room. When there are other people around, all my energy by default goes into monitoring their speech and behaviour, constantly checking that the situation is "ok" or "manageable".

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shagbag The Wizard

Like if they're talking about something they are really enthusiastic about, I feel compelled to show an equally intense interest in the subject (even if it bores me) so as to maintain a sense of "equilibrium" and "connection" between us, or at the very least not to offend their dignity.

same. I'm

creative though as far as I know

redbaron · 03-12-2010, 12:58 PM

I like being alone together too. But when my ESE husband is in the room, all bets are off. He's like slater in that he can't really be in a room with someone without talking.

Thanks Arthur · 03-12-2010, 01:10 PM

If I'm doing something solitary, I enjoy being alone-alone. I don't have any problems with being "alone together", though.

Loki · 03-12-2010, 04:51 PM

I prefer to be alone if I'm doing something by myself as it helps me concentrate and with the rest of the world blocked out I don't have to have any awareness of it or any dread of being interrupted and I can let the outside world go and be in my natural state. This is something I've noticed with work to add to my list of ideal working environments... I don't like dealing with people and I like working alone (or having a safe space/sanctuary where I can be alone and uninterrupted). It's generally too draining dealing with people. And if I don't have a safe space then I just end up having this dread/anxiety in the back of my mind concerning when someone will interrupt me next.

Otoh I'm not sure if I'm good at being "alone together." When I get into my odd social mode, I would find that boring.

03-12-2010, 05:16 PM

Depends for me. I like my own space i'd say for most part, sometimes like company.

...I think it depends on the quality of the company.

Hmmm, usually at work when there is a lot of people talking I prefer to just zone them out and keep busy doing other things, sometimes even working. I usually prefer a more subdued conversation rather than too much horseplay in that situation.

Director Abbie · 03-12-2010, 07:36 PM

That's interesting. When I'm on computer, I want all people to be at least three feet away. Otherwise I feel the need to talk to them or shove them away, depending on the person.

Shagbag The Wizard · 03-12-2010, 07:52 PM

I simply can NOT sit at a computer with people standing around or behind me.

And if they are hovering right above me, breathing on me, talking over me, or otherwise checking out what I'm doing on the computer without my explicit invitation.......forget it, I will immediately make some random excuse to get up and do something else.

silverchris9 · 03-12-2010, 07:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rubicon

That picture makes me incredibly happy.

Based on the variety of responses, this does not seem to be a particularly type related trait. But the responses are still very interesting, so w/e.

Bardia · 03-13-2010, 08:04 PM

I like to be alone together but this has been a more recent development (within the past few years) than a constant trait of mine. I used to not care either way.

ollobollo · 03-14-2010, 12:23 AM

Being alone together without talking gives me a sense of closeness to the other person(s), but mostly if there are max. two others there, preferably one. I like it when they make repeating sounds, such as stamping their foot on the floor or erasing something on a paper very hard and then blowing to get the eraser crumbles away. Or being in a sauna and just hearing breathing. Or when someone is looking through my pencil case, or borrowing my cell phone and pushing the buttons to text someone. And I like constant deep frequencies or brownian noise in the background. This all gives me a tingly and soothing feeling.

MOP · 03-14-2010, 05:38 AM

When I am busy doing my own thing on the computer and people come in uninvited I can't concentrate on what I am doing and I feel threatened.

But one of the worst things is when people lean of the back of my chair and it leans backwards.

FDG · 03-14-2010, 07:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 1981slater

I can't be more than 30 seconds in the same room as somebody without talking to him/her, so I try to be alone when doing something important.

Yeah, same. If I'm around people (supposing I know them at least a bit) I kind of feel "obligated" to start talking.

03-12-2010, 06:57 AM	#1 (permalink)
silverchris9 wants to be a writer. Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: New York Posts: 2,005 Blog Entries: 4	Having Other People in the Room Ever since I was a little boy, even if I had to do something by myself, I would like other people to be in the same room as me. We didn't have to interact or anything, they just had to be in the same room. That's still true now; most of the time when I'm on this forum, I'm actually in my friends' suite-style dorm lounge. Obviously, I'm not focusing on hanging out with any of these people while I'm typing about some random personality theory crap that none of them has ever heard of. But I still like being in the room with other people, even while doing a solitary activity. I've always liked the idea of being "alone together" with another person; being in the same space, but both focusing on unrelated things. Even in groups, I think it's pretty cool. So, my question is, is this in any way type related, or is this just a quirk that's particular to me? __________________ *Not a rule, just a trend.* IEI. Probably Fe subtype. Pretty sure I'm E4, sexual instinctual type, fairly confident that I'm a 3 wing now, so: IEI-Fe E4w3 sx/so. Considering 3w4 now, but pretty sure that 4 fits the best. Yes 'a ma'am that's pretty music... I am grateful for the mystery of the soul, because without it, there could be no contemplation, except of the mysteries of divinity, which are far more dangerous to get wrong.

03-12-2010, 11:16 AM	#7 (permalink)
Shagbag The Wizard Member Join Date: Feb 2010 Posts: 212	I definitely prefer to be alone in a room. When there are other people around, all my energy by default goes into monitoring their speech and behaviour, constantly checking that the situation is "ok" or "manageable". It also takes a lot of energy to say and do the things that people need to hear and see from me in order to maintain a sense of harmony. I tend to pander to people all the time at my own expense. Like if they're talking about something they are really enthusiastic about, I feel compelled to show an equally intense interest in the subject (even if it bores me) so as to maintain a sense of "equilibrium" and "connection" between us, or at the very least not to offend their dignity. __________________ EII - Ne 5w6 sp/so/sx

03-12-2010, 01:10 PM	#10 (permalink)
Thanks Arthur THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Perth, Australia Sociotype: Se-SEI 9w8 sx/sp Posts: 5,058 Blog Entries: 3	If I'm doing something solitary, I enjoy being alone-alone. I don't have any problems with being "alone together", though. __________________ Watch out for falling rock monsters and rocks that turn into monsters. C// This link contains extraverted ethics. 9w8-4w5-7w6 sx/sp Hartman Yellow/White Oldham Mercurial/Self-Sacrificing Nohari

03-12-2010, 07:52 PM	#14 (permalink)
Shagbag The Wizard Member Join Date: Feb 2010 Posts: 212	I simply can NOT sit at a computer with people standing around or behind me. And if they are hovering right above me, breathing on me, talking over me, or otherwise checking out what I'm doing on the computer without my explicit invitation.......forget it, I will immediately make some random excuse to get up and do something else. __________________ EII - Ne 5w6 sp/so/sx

03-13-2010, 08:04 PM	#16 (permalink)
Bardia Member Join Date: Aug 2007 Posts: 580	I like to be alone together but this has been a more recent development (within the past few years) than a constant trait of mine. I used to not care either way. __________________ ISFj ESI 1w9 sp/so "You're getting older, and you'll see that life isn't like your fairy tales. The world is a cruel place. And you'll learn that, even if it hurts."

03-12-2010, 09:28 AM	#3 (permalink)
munenori2 Saggy old cloth cat Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Kansas Sociotype: ISFp Posts: 5,725 Blog Entries: 9	YOUR RONG!!!1!!!!!!!1!!

03-12-2010, 09:47 AM	#6 (permalink)
munenori2 Saggy old cloth cat Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Kansas Sociotype: ISFp Posts: 5,725 Blog Entries: 9

03-12-2010, 12:58 PM	#9 (permalink)
redbaron Forum Addict Join Date: Apr 2007 Posts: 6,929	I like being alone together too. But when my ESE husband is in the room, all bets are off. He's like slater in that he can't really be in a room with someone without talking.

03-12-2010, 04:51 PM	#11 (permalink)
Loki Illustrious Member Join Date: Aug 2007 Posts: 3,784 Blog Entries: 1	I prefer to be alone if I'm doing something by myself as it helps me concentrate and with the rest of the world blocked out I don't have to have any awareness of it or any dread of being interrupted and I can let the outside world go and be in my natural state. This is something I've noticed with work to add to my list of ideal working environments... I don't like dealing with people and I like working alone (or having a safe space/sanctuary where I can be alone and uninterrupted). It's generally too draining dealing with people. And if I don't have a safe space then I just end up having this dread/anxiety in the back of my mind concerning when someone will interrupt me next. Otoh I'm not sure if I'm good at being "alone together." When I get into my odd social mode, I would find that boring.

03-12-2010, 05:16 PM	#12 (permalink)
Creepy-Cyclops Posts: n/a	Depends for me. I like my own space i'd say for most part, sometimes like company. ...I think it depends on the quality of the company. Hmmm, usually at work when there is a lot of people talking I prefer to just zone them out and keep busy doing other things, sometimes even working. I usually prefer a more subdued conversation rather than too much horseplay in that situation.

03-14-2010, 12:23 AM	#17 (permalink)
ollobollo Member Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: Norway Posts: 170	Being alone together without talking gives me a sense of closeness to the other person(s), but mostly if there are max. two others there, preferably one. I like it when they make repeating sounds, such as stamping their foot on the floor or erasing something on a paper very hard and then blowing to get the eraser crumbles away. Or being in a sauna and just hearing breathing. Or when someone is looking through my pencil case, or borrowing my cell phone and pushing the buttons to text someone. And I like constant deep frequencies or brownian noise in the background. This all gives me a tingly and soothing feeling.

03-14-2010, 05:38 AM	#18 (permalink)
MOP Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Posts: 178	When I am busy doing my own thing on the computer and people come in uninvited I can't concentrate on what I am doing and I feel threatened. But one of the worst things is when people lean of the back of my chair and it leans backwards.

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