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Thread: Signs that enneagram type 6 likes you?

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    Default Signs that enneagram type 6 likes you?

    What are typical behaviors of a 6 when they're interested in you romantically?
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    Shouldn't you be asking yourself that question?

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    sooo, fall in love with any guy who smiles at her? Then tell them they should go suck their own ass, and casually say "lets do the sex" with no expectation of sex?

    I tell ya what. I'll change my type just for you.
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    ok so I found an old post by @dolphin that might help

    Eights, whether male or female, are active in the courtship phase, which goes a long way toward eliminating Sixes' doubt. Eights find security in taking charge and offering protection, which fits perfectly with the insecurities of Sixes. Freed of the full task of initiating relationships, Troopers are placed in the safer stance of feeling sought after and needed. Eights are refreshingly confident about their sexuality and about moving into success. This confidence can be liberating to types like Six, who contract and feel guilty about pleasure.
    This is a meeting of body and mind rather than romantic sentiment. The partners share an aversion to "gushy sentimentality." Sweet support, which may be entirely well intended, can sound faked to types who see the world as dangerous. Devotion is expressed through physicality and ideas rather than intimate innuendo. Actions and inspiration count more than nurturing tender feelings. Trust emerges largely through observation-by seeing that the partner acts for the benefit of others.
    Both types expect adversity and stand together during difficulty. Phobic Sixes stand behind Eight partners, giving loyal support. Counterphobic Sixes, pushing against fear, stand alongside. A excellent interaction shows the bigger-than-life Eight relying on the advice of the more mental and strategic Six. Sixes can wait rather than rushing in to take charge, they can observe complicated motivations, and they are far more political about potential repercussions. Equipped with good counsel, Eights can move mountains. Eights value loyalty, and Sixes are unusually loyal in adversity. Sixes value strength, and Eights are most determined when they are challenged.
    The typical position shows Eight in control with Six in support. Eights want action, and Sixes are happier in the more protected role. The situation changes dramatically when they find themselves without a barricade to storm. For all their bravado, Eights find it easier to challenge life, or to support someone else's forward thrust, than to search within themselves for a personal agenda. Without a clear and present call to action, Eights begin to coast, to make trouble, or to support the Six's agenda. Eights are very helpful when they are willing to take an appropriate support position; but they can be a royal pain when they take charge of someone else's life instead of improving their own.
    Sixes will find themselves trying to move ahead against massive self-doubt, sometimes encouraged, and sometimes insulted and goaded into action, by the Boss. Eights are protectors, and Troopers want protection, but Sixes can quickly shift from seeing Eights as protectors to seeing them as bullies. From Eights' perspective, there is also a thin line between perceiving Sixes as worthy of protection and as wimps who can't stand up for themselves. Sixes need constant reassurance, which makes them seem weak to Eights, who deny their own weakness. Eights are particularly impatient with doubt and vacillation, which looks both weak and untruthful: "Why can't you make up your mind?" "Are you committed to this, or are you lying?"
    The Eight partner, when pushing for the truth, or when seeking to revitalize the relationship, may become punitive and say the worst. Dealing with what now looks like an overbearing and possibly dangerous mate, Six's imagination ignites and moves to the divorce court. Finally the Trooper is up against the wall and, whether phobic or counterphobic, will fight when cornered. The subtext of this struggle is power. The Eight can't surrender control until a mate looks strong and trustworthy, and the Six can't commit fully until the Eight looks less dangerous.
    Paradoxically some horrendous battles can have positive repercussions in this relationship. The Six has been goaded into terrifying displays of anger, has said the worst, and has survived. Now it's out. The frightened Six has been bullied into setting the necessary boundaries. The Eight sees the limits and doesn't have to push further for the truth.
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    I thought this was supposed to be about 6s you validation-hungry fag

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    But I'm a 6

    there's good 6 info in there. it says they vascillate, don't reveal the truth immediately, and uhh, don't commit until the partner looks "safe"

    Anyway I'd like to hear some stories of personal experience. I get SO CONVINCED that she's into me, but she never says she is and it drives me nuts.
    Last edited by Azure Flame; 10-30-2012 at 06:24 AM.
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    you can go to where your heart is Galen's Avatar
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    Who likes you? Give us all the details. We want to meet your girlfriend. I bet she's a real cutie.

    Anyway
    In my experience, if I like someone you'll probably see me standing around looking at the guy sidelong, trying to find the best time to approach him in a way that seems casual, assuming we haven't already engaged each other in the first place. If I find a good emotional connection with the guy, and assuming he's even gay in the first place (mind you this raaaaaarely happens) then I tend to be pretty forthcoming about my interest in him.

    Quote Originally Posted by DJ Arendee View Post
    But I'm a 6
    Double-check your signature, wumbo

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    DJ, if I was as handsome and athletic as you, I'd be all over chicks. Didn't you go to Annapolis? You're a stud. Keep your chin up and go for her.
     
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    Quote Originally Posted by Galen View Post
    Anyway
    In my experience, if I like someone you'll probably see me standing around looking at the guy sidelong, trying to find the best time to approach him in a way that seems casual, assuming we haven't already engaged each other in the first place. If I find a good emotional connection with the guy, and assuming he's even gay in the first place (mind you this raaaaaarely happens) then I tend to be pretty forthcoming about my interest in him.
    How good is your Gaydar? Don't you end up hitting on straights alot?
     
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    Gaydat is a horrible myth.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Saberstorm View Post
    How good is your Gaydar? Don't you end up hitting on straights alot?
    I find that my gaydar only pings on people I'm not particularly attracted to in the first place. Any case where I do find myself attracted to somebody is more just "cross your fingers and see what happens" sort of deal. I don't outright express interest right off the bat though unless I'm certain of their sexuality, just to make sure I'm not barking up the wrong tree and don't put myself in too vulnerable of a position. Kinda sucks though, because any time I'm attracted to somebody, which doesn't happen often, I have to automatically tell myself "there's a 70% chance that there's a 0% chance of this happening."

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    wow
     
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jadae2point0 View Post
    Gaydat is a horrible myth.
    It works for people who display obvious fay mannerisms, but as there exists many the gay who don't exhibit these traits they skew the bell curve back below one standard deviation.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Galen View Post
    It works for people who display obvious fay mannerisms, but as there exists many the gay who don't exhibit these traits they skew the bell curve back below one standard deviation.
    I agree, but the term is so abused, and it gets old.

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    Quote Originally Posted by DJ Arendee View Post
    What are typical behaviors of a 6 when they're interested in you romantically?
    -She smiles, touches your arm, etc
    -She sucks your cock
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    Going by common literature Sixes know whom the love and whom they dislike, so you can't go wrong. Just pulled this bit off some "thing" called the Internet, I still do not know what it is nor when and how it got here, but:

    Six in Love
    Living with Sixes:

    Sixes question your intentions: suspecting your positive regard, wondering what you really think, undervaluing romance.

    A Six can be a loyal ally, strong in an "us against the world" relationship, a devoted supporter.

    Sixes want reassurance to overcome doubt. "Will you always love me?" There's no right answer for this one. A positive response leads to doubt of your sincerity, further assurances are required, and so on.

    Sixes tend to project personal dissatisfaction, for instance, denying their own wandering eye by "seeing" that you are attracted to someone else.

    Expect a Six to identify with the problem areas of relationship, which become the focal points of attention.

    A Six wants to affect you (for example, through warmth, by a dutiful alliance, or through sexual power) rather than be affected. Sixes find it frightening to have their own desires aroused, to realize that they are vulnerable to what others do. They prefer to show strength by assisting others to attain their goals, are capable of significant self-sacrifice.

    Don't count on Sixes to be able to locate the source of tension in intimacy. "Am I afraid of showing weakness? Am I sensing a possible betrayal?" They expect hurt when their guard goes down.

    A Six searches for clues in your behavior. "What's going on underneath the surface? How do you act toward other people? What do you really think of me?" They need reassurance.
    http://www.9types.com/descr/?type=6&book=palmer3

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    Quote Originally Posted by DJ Arendee View Post
    sooo, fall in love with any guy who smiles at her? Then tell them they should go suck their own ass, and casually say "lets do the sex" with no expectation of sex?
    Sounds like someone who reeks of insecurity.

    I tell ya what. I'll change my type just for you.
    Rad.

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    there are so many different ways 6ness could manifest I can't think of anything that would be a common thread in expressing interest. Maybe a lack of floofy light flowery stuff. Either being really frank and straightforward, or being nervous and appreciating frankness on your part, but either way, seeking or hoping to be sure and have things out in the open.

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    Quote Originally Posted by DJ Arendee View Post
    sooo, fall in love with any guy who smiles at her? Then tell them they should go suck their own ass, and casually say "lets do the sex" with no expectation of sex?

    I tell ya what. I'll change my type just for you.
    Yeah that's about right, I'd say...
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    Quote Originally Posted by lungs View Post
    there are so many different ways 6ness could manifest I can't think of anything that would be a common thread in expressing interest. Maybe a lack of floofy light flowery stuff. Either being really frank and straightforward, or being nervous and appreciating frankness on your part, but either way, seeking or hoping to be sure and have things out in the open.
    I've told her several times that I'm interested in her. I'm not sure but I think she routinely makes an effort to make me jealous at least once a week. Her friend invited me to volleyball, and I was expecting 6 to be there, but just as I got there her friend walked up to me rather deliberately and said, "6 couldn't make it. She's out with michael." At that point I just got so tired of it I became apathetic.

    ps: 4/6 members of her family died a few years ago, somehow. So I wonder if there's some attachment issues?

    Quote Originally Posted by Saberstorm View Post
    DJ, if I was as handsome and athletic as you, I'd be all over chicks. Didn't you go to Annapolis? You're a stud. Keep your chin up and go for her.
    Its finding someone who actually interests me that's difficult. I've already told her I'm interested 3 times. Her response is always very vague.
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    Quote Originally Posted by DJ Arendee View Post
    I've told her several times that I'm interested in her. I'm not sure but I think she routinely makes an effort to make me jealous at least once a week. Her friend invited me to volleyball, and I was expecting 6 to be there, but just as I got there her friend walked up to me rather deliberately and said, "6 couldn't make it. She's out with michael." At that point I just got so tired of it I became apathetic.

    ps: 4/6 members of her family died a few years ago, somehow. So I wonder if there's some attachment issues?



    Its finding someone who actually interests me that's difficult. I've already told her I'm interested 3 times. Her response is always very vague.
    She's gaming you. Walk away.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ashton View Post
    She's gaming you. Walk away.
    probably. Either that or she's indecisive. Either way you're not going to know for sure unless she wants you to or she makes up her mind. So the ball is in her court and there's no use struggling.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ashton View Post
    She's gaming you. Walk away.
    What does "gaming" mean?
     
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    Quote Originally Posted by lungs View Post
    probably. Either that or she's indecisive. Either way you're not going to know for sure unless she wants you to or she makes up her mind. So the ball is in her court and there's no use struggling.
    Yeah, it always has been. I do think she's indecisive. I'm 24 and she's 33 so I'm sure there are some issues there. She once commented (and repeated several times as if I didn't hear her) the fact that I look much older with a beard. Maybe I'll grow it out and see what happens.

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    Quote Originally Posted by DJ Arendee View Post
    Its finding someone who actually interests me that's difficult. I've already told her I'm interested 3 times. Her response is always very vague.
    Maybe she's just a slow learner and needs to hear it around eight times before giving out a clear answer?
    Or maybe you are just decreasing your market value in the affair market by seeming so easy and desperate! But who knows, she's probably right around the corner waiting for you to see through her 6 cues.
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    Quote Originally Posted by DJ Arendee View Post
    What are typical behaviors of a 6 when they're interested in you romantically?
    They cut off your balls and make a delicious soup out of them. You must eat every bite or they will be very offended.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Aquagraph View Post
    Maybe she's just a slow learner and needs to hear it around eight times before giving out a clear answer?
    Or maybe you are just decreasing your market value in the affair market by seeming so easy and desperate! But who knows, she's probably right around the corner waiting for you to see through her 6 cues.
    ouch, but yeah.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Aquagraph View Post
    Maybe she's just a slow learner and needs to hear it around eight times before giving out a clear answer?
    Or maybe you are just decreasing your market value in the affair market by seeming so easy and desperate! But who knows, she's probably right around the corner waiting for you to see through her 6 cues.
    Harsh words but yeah I get you. Idunno man I'm an aggressor its what I do. I chase. I already spent a month convincing all the other men that hit on her that we're already dating, lol! its so much fun hunting them down. I don't know how male victims play the game where they run backwards while asking the girl out. It doesn't make any sense to me. She does like to initiate, I don't view myself as desperate and needy, just persistent and comitted.

    sigh... I shouldn't even be worrying about this right now. I should be focused on my career.
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    Quote Originally Posted by DJ Arendee View Post
    She does like to initiate, I don't view myself as desperate and needy, just persistent and comitted.
    Two sides of the same coin. She doesn't seem to be the eager to see you but she likes to keep you around for some reason.
    I hope that "Michael" isn't one of the men you discouraged since then it would be even more likely that those women would have agreed to give you that cue deliberately. If she was interested in you, she'd want them to explain her absence more discreetly, even if she would have been gone with "Michael". But maybe you could go and find this Michael and then confront that hot 'n' cold bitch with a self-satisfied smile and bruised knuckles, .

    It sounds like a sore loser's strategy to focus on barking away the competition as the sole idea is to overcome it. But what do I know, I'm an infantile so I am in short of commitment, persistence and a cook.
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    Quote Originally Posted by DJ Arendee View Post
    Yeah, it always has been. I do think she's indecisive. I'm 24 and she's 33 so I'm sure there are some issues there. She once commented (and repeated several times as if I didn't hear her) the fact that I look much older with a beard. Maybe I'll grow it out and see what happens.

    "You looked legal"
    Who the fuck doesn't look older with a beard

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