What do Fe egos think about Fi?

[717495]

I can't do a search of this, so if you have any useful links. post them. I'd like to know some perspectives of Fe egos concerning Fi, if you can be anywhat descriptive to why you value Fe over Fi, and your opinion of Fi with stories about Fi types and your relation with them, possibly specifying how certain Fi egos differ in your light, the rational vs irrational types, if there's a distinction that would be wise to make.

[smilodon]

Since I can't give you an answer on that, I will give you an answer of my perspective of from my view as . I find it to be very grating when it comes from Alphas, mainly . For some reason it gets to be to much and I can't take it anymore. The two irrational egos I know use it at a level that I don't find annoying. However, I can think of one , when she uses it, it doesn't annoy me unless it is on a political topic (she is left-wing, I am conservatarian) and for some reason there it becomes very annoying, whereas I know lefties that Gamma and Delta that don't irritate me on political subjects.

[717495]

bump

Obnoxious maybe?

[silverchris9]

I think Fi makes rules. I think Fi is the source of political correctness and the expectation that we remain within social boundaries that allow everybody to feel "safe" or "happy" or "comfortable" or "not offended." Why would any body want to feel safe, happy, comfortable, or not offended? Furthermore, the four are mutually exclusive!

Okay, that was a few seconds of ranty-ness. But let's see:

My mom is NeFi and I find that her understanding of how to make people happy in the world is useful in its place, but not as useful in intimate (not sexual, but "psychologically close"). For instance, I once asked her why she says "will you please do" x when really she means "do x". She provided a good explanation, and now it's just a part of how I think. But in retrospect, I might use socionics to say that I was expecting SeTi bluntness/directness while she was expecting Fi politeness. There's another word I associate Fi with: politeness. Whereas I associate Fe with rawness. I prefer raw to polite is all (although I do see where polite has it's place, and as predicted by the theory, I do somewhat assume a certain kind of politeness as an unintended, unthought-about given), or I might say I prefer interpersonal white-water-rafting to fishing on a placid lake.

Also, my cousin may or may not be FiSe, and if so I think his kind of Fi is just stupid. Generally harmlessly stupid, but stupid. Like, making decisions based on too little information, or information interpreted way too narrowly, forming opinions about how things should be done ("should" is another word I associate Fi and Te with, whereas I associate Fe and Ti with "is", but that might just be bias).

One of my mom's best friends is FiNe, and she's nice, but again, some of her rules are just stupid, like caring too much about the vulgarity of a movie her daughter watches. I mean, I guess my censorious (Freudian, not socionics) superego assents to both her right and her justification in that area, but my knee-jerk reaction is: wow, that's stupid, why do you even care?

Finally, my little brother is SeFi, and the only thing that annoys me is when he tries to protect me, although both the action and the irritation may be unrelated to Fi (the protection seems more Se, maybe, while the irritation is due to my own pleasantly messed-up psyche). Hmm... what else... no, my brother bothers me more with Te kinda stuff, not so much the Fi. That's generally unannoying as far as I can think of right now.

[discojoe]

Gamma Fi ignores political correctness.

[silverchris9]

the ranty part was more delta-aimed, wasn't it?

[Lobo]

I think Fi makes rules. I think Fi is the source of political correctness and the expectation that we remain within social boundaries that allow everybody to feel "safe" or "happy" or "comfortable" or "not offended." Why would any body want to feel safe, happy, comfortable, or not offended? Furthermore, the four are mutually exclusive!

Okay, that was a few seconds of ranty-ness. But let's see:

My mom is NeFi and I find that her understanding of how to make people happy in the world is useful in its place, but not as useful in intimate (not sexual, but "psychologically close"). For instance, I once asked her why she says "will you please do" x when really she means "do x". She provided a good explanation, and now it's just a part of how I think. But in retrospect, I might use socionics to say that I was expecting SeTi bluntness/directness while she was expecting Fi politeness. There's another word I associate Fi with: politeness. Whereas I associate Fe with rawness. I prefer raw to polite is all (although I do see where polite has it's place, and as predicted by the theory, I do somewhat assume a certain kind of politeness as an unintended, unthought-about given), or I might say I prefer interpersonal white-water-rafting to fishing on a placid lake.

Also, my cousin may or may not be FiSe, and if so I think his kind of Fi is just stupid. Generally harmlessly stupid, but stupid. Like, making decisions based on too little information, or information interpreted way too narrowly, forming opinions about how things should be done ("should" is another word I associate Fi and Te with, whereas I associate Fe and Ti with "is", but that might just be bias).

One of my mom's best friends is FiNe, and she's nice, but again, some of her rules are just stupid, like caring too much about the vulgarity of a movie her daughter watches. I mean, I guess my censorious (Freudian, not socionics) superego assents to both her right and her justification in that area, but my knee-jerk reaction is: wow, that's stupid, why do you even care?

Finally, my little brother is SeFi, and the only thing that annoys me is when he tries to protect me, although both the action and the irritation may be unrelated to Fi (the protection seems more Se, maybe, while the irritation is due to my own pleasantly messed-up psyche). Hmm... what else... no, my brother bothers me more with Te kinda stuff, not so much the Fi. That's generally unannoying as far as I can think of right now.

I disagree that Fi makes rules. Might be the cause for the rule, but not responsible for its establishment/enforcement. Also, if someone tells me to just "do x" without showing some level of submissiveness, I take it as ordering me around, and reaaallly don't like that. I can tell when someone is bossy, or just wants to be efficient in what needs to be done.

[silverchris9]

You're right; "rule" has certain connotations that don't work here. No, by "rule" I don't mean an expressed demand that is enforced by threat of consequences, but rather an unspoken expectation that causes an unpleasant reaction when violated. I dunno how I feel about "do x" really. I do have the immediate, "I'm not your lackey" reaction. In fact, I might have been unclear about this: I'm pretty sure that I prefer "would you please" to any alternative. It's just that I needed an explanation and examples to understand why that was better; my inexperienced/unsocialized reaction was just "well, if you mean 'do it,' why don't you just freakin' say 'do it'? Why give why give me the illusion of an option, when there is no option present?" But yeah, that turned out to be an Fi social custom that I do appreciate and enjoy, although the occasional "just do it" is nice, if it's from the right person. From the wrong person, it's immediate grounds for fighting (not physically, but psychologically, it puts them in the 'we're fighting' category. But that again, is probably not socionics related). In fact, that phrase "social customs" is a good phrase for Fi, IMO. Fi creates "social customs" or "norms" that are to be followed for the sake of the group getting along. Breaking them labels you as a "bad actor" and makes you socially frowned upon. I find this stupid; one cannot judge a person (well) based on how well or poorly they fit a certain set of social guidelines; maybe they're just amazing in ways that the existing set of customs doesn't yet accommodate or understand or include. To me, this is very much allied to Te "how things are to be done," which is BLECH, even if to Te egos/superids, it really just means "how things are best done".

Just wants to be efficient counts for 0 with me, unless I'm being especially enlightened that day. Trying to be effective on the other hand (In my mind, efficient = Te, effective = Se. Se is get it done, Te is get it done right/in the best possible way) is legit. If I'm getting in the way of a common goal, push me out of the way! If I believe in the goal too, I might be miffed that you didn't do it in a way that didn't hurt me, but whatever, I'll get over it as long as it wasn't too painful. Eventually I'll forgive.

[Reuben]

I actually agree with your second paragraph despite supposedly being an EII.

Sometimes I care nuts for getting something done well. Just get it done, hand it up, get over with it.

Why give me the illusion of an option, when there is no option present?

I really really hate this too. My mum pulled one on me recently and I argued with her for the sake of it. Which I suppose is stupid on my part.

[UDP]

here's Roy Mustang mocking how Fe types feel when they run into Fi

[misutii]

I find it difficult to make generalizations about how I view , but I'll try. I find that it needs to be viewed on a case by case (person by person) basis in that often manifests itself in radically different ways, depending on who the -ego type is. When someone I don't know well suddenly provides a strong based opinion my first impression is usually negative. It catches me off guard and I start thinking that I should watch what I do/say because they might snap (I think that would be the best way to describe it - it can catch me off guard and I may misconstrue it as a personal attack)

However, as I spend more time and "get used to" an Fi-ego type I slowly begin to see where they are coming from and what their principles are. If this happens I easily develop a new found sense of respect and admiration for them and the previous wariness melts away (so long as their beliefs/principles remain consistent in regards to how they're applied to them (the fi-ego type) and to other people).

[electric sheep]

This might be relevant. I was having a rather serious conversation with someone I have as ESE. I was going on and on about some difficulties I was having, and it was a totally somber atmosphere when she said "I'm sorry it's so hard." Of course, I replied "that's what she said" still feeling kinda sad and she said "that's exactly what I wanted to hear." We had a good laugh after that.

[silverchris9]

Whereas Fi might have judged the comment inappropriate to the situation and been annoyed/shut down rather than feeling a little freer/lighter after the joke? Or is that inaccurate?

Also, @misutii, I guess that's true, but mostly only if you agree with the Fi-person's Fi principles. I guess that's why me and my brother don't fight about Fi stuff; we hold too many assumptions in common to be divisive about them.

[Blaze]

I guess that's why me and my brother don't fight about Fi stuff; we hold too many assumptions in common to be divisive about them.

yes...i've noticed this about Ne vs Ni as well. you dont' really fight about it....at least not very effectively.

[Rubicon]

I like when people make fun of awkward situations .. or comment on the awkwardness of them rather than trying to smooth things over with social niceties. Feels like it's bringing things out into the open so you can get over them and dismiss them as ridiculous. On occasions when I've been overly emotional about something, I often feel like making fun of myself in the midst of crying. There is something objectively amusing about getting so worked up about something that means nothing in the scheme of things! I've found that Fi people seem to think that sort of behaviour points to insincerity or insanity.

Over at an ILE's place with some other friends.. We're leaving, and people are lining up to murmur the appropriate thankyous or w/e.. so he clasps his hands together, puts on an effeminate voice, makes like he has the floor and goes "Well it was really nice having you all here. It's been such a lovely evening. Please come any time." And then he laughs and goes "Yeah - just get out." That's just beautiful.

[Blaze]

I like when people make fun of awkward situations .. or comment on the awkwardness of them rather than trying to smooth things over with social niceties. Feels like it's bringing things out into the open so you can get over them and dismiss them as ridiculous. On occasions when I've been overly emotional about something, I often feel like making fun of myself in the midst of crying. There is something objectively amusing about getting so worked up about something that means nothing in the scheme of things! I've found that Fi people seem to think that sort of behaviour points to insincerity or insanity.

Over at an ILE's place with some other friends.. We're leaving, and people are lining up to murmur the appropriate thankyous or w/e.. so he clasps his hands together, puts on an effeminate voice, makes like he has the floor and goes "Well it was really nice having you all here. It's been such a lovely evening. Please come any time." And then he laughs and goes "Yeah - just get out." That's just beautiful.

love this yeah yeah YES! totally

[Rubicon]

love this yeah yeah YES! totally

[Banana Pancakes]

I like when people make fun of awkward situations .. or comment on the awkwardness of them rather than trying to smooth things over with social niceties. Feels like it's bringing things out into the open so you can get over them and dismiss them as ridiculous.

Oh yes, acknowledgement diffuses awkwardness. Big fan.

[strrrng]

Grew up with the deltas... so, it will be biased in that manner, but whatever. Have felt a keen sense of walking on egg shells for quite some time; this was enhanced once my grades went to shit, I failed a drug test and such, and they were "worried about my future." Now, my ESE mom knew how to probe me emotionally; the deltas basically would "assess" me in this invisible manner and I would be left clueless. Sometimes it's in the glances they flash when they think you aren't looking, some personal radar; others it's just in the fact that you can't communicate emotionality effectively. And yes, it does feel like some completely nebulous set of standards and customs are being foisted onto me with no rationale. This can also result in the most incredibly bullshit justifications for actions being construed, as the set of "guidelines" hinges first and foremost on the subject.

[electric sheep]

here's Roy Mustang mocking how Fe types feel when they run into Fi

Mustang Mocking Fe types

That video NEVER GETS OLD ITS SO AWESOME



@strrrrrrrrrrrrrrng
I think deltas are really worried about this invisible judgment too. I think I can intimidate deltas with silence and a half smile, it's kinda weird.